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Reviews
Sleepwalkers (1992)
Cop-kebob!
IMDb mark: 7
This guy sure knows how to write them! His novels and short stories are just perfect for being turned into movies and, even if the respective screen adaptation doesn't have a lot of gore in it, it sure is easy to watch. That about summarizes 'Stephen King's Sleepwalkers', which is not a gore-fest by any means, but it still is a very enjoyable horror flick.
-Gore: Just like I said, there isn't a whole lot of gore in this. Even the faces of the sleepwalkers kind of look like they were taken from Sega Genesis games. ('Altered Beast', anyone?) There is more gore towards the end, but still not enough for the devoted fan. 14/30
-Suspense: Practically no suspense is to be encountered until the middle of the film. It gets better after that. 8/15
-Ending: The ending was very good, in my opinion. Of course, taste varies. 14/15
-Death Scenes: I liked the sheriff's death. But all death scenes are just as good. 11/11
-Atmosphere: Now, this is a high school horror movie that works! The atmosphere in the small town is great, the students don't get on your nerves, and the story unveils very well. 10/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: There are some well-known names here: Brian Krause, from 'Return to the Blue Lagoon', Madchen Amick, from 'Twin Peaks' and Alice Krige, all three playing the main characters. Also, Ron Perlman, from 'Hellboy', plays a cop; and there are cameos by John Landis, Joe Dante, Clive Barker, Tobe Hooper and Stephen King himself, as well as, apparently, Mark Hamill. 5/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 66/100
People don't give this film the credit it deserves. I can't understand why. In my opinion, it is better than 'Carrie', 'Christine', 'The Langoliers', and probably even more Stephen King movies; it's not better than 'The Shining' or 'Salem's Lot', though. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
Loving and Laughing (1971)
Not much laughing, I have to say
IMDb mark: 4
It's hard to figure out this film. Is it a comedy? Do we detect some 'Animal House'-like scenes? Is it a drama? About life in Quebec (and Vermont, sort of) at the beginning of the '70s? Is it a nude-fest? Well, it is a nude-fest, but it's not an erotic movie. All these 'symptoms' make it hard to categorize this film, so I will just file it under adventure, sort of a miscellaneous for movies.
-Plot: A French tutor has problems with his car, and a group of hippies help him out. But he grows to like the uninhibited lifestyle that they lead, and agrees to help out one of the hippies by switching places with him. 17/25
-Cast: I think only Celine Lomez had some actual fans at that time, and she doesn't even appear for that long. Yes, the cast is almost unknown. 2/17
-Ending: The ending is much too sudden. Couldn't they have done it any other way? 3/15
-Comedy: I guess there are times when you can laugh, during this movie. But very few, so, if you are looking for comedy, this isn't one of the best choices. 3/14
-Acting: It's not extremely good, but the actors don't seem out of place, either. However, if you are watching 'Loving and Laughing', you're not looking for Oscar material anyway. 5/11
-Shock Value: There are no major shockers. Not even the scene with the limo, towards the end. I expected better from that scene, I have to admit. 1/8
-Nudity: Every actress, who is slightly attractive, removes part of her clothes at some point. So, I didn't even bother to keep track of who gets naked. There is, though, a really big gap between a whole lot of nudity in the beginning and a lot of nudity at the end. 6/6
-Genre: This is an adventure film. 2/4
-->Overall: 39/100
If you consider this a nudie flick, and only want to see some '70s goodies, then it may seem better to you. I felt this was made as an adventure film, so... From Swordlord, 1 sword down!
Un argentino en New York (1998)
Mi casa no es su casa
IMDb mark: 4
Have you ever wanted to see a latin 'telenovela' turned into a feature film? I know I didn't. But that is exactly what this is. It certainly seems that people who are good at one thing and attempt to do other things end up still doing the first thing. Let's just say that, so far, I haven't seen anything coming from Argentina that's not some sort of a soap opera.
-Cast: Natalia Oreiro is the most famous person in this movie, worldwide-wise. And get a load of Whoopi Goldberg as a waitress! 14/20
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/20
-Ending: Think 'telenovela' ending; or soap-opera ending. If you're not familiar with any, it's meant to make women cry their eyes out. For this type of film, it's adequate. But still, I don't appreciate it too much. Of course, taste varies. 7/15
-Acting: Not bad, in my opinion. 8/11
-Plot: An Argentinian girl, about to turn 18, who leaves on a study trip to New York, decides to stay there. Her caring father goes after her to get her back before her mother can get too worried. 3/10
-Theme: Father knows best, very likely. But it's not a bad theme. 6/10
-Soundtrack: Didn't care too much for it. It's all Argentinian music, I think. Except when a bunch of people, including Whoopi, sing 'Killing Me Softly' in a restaurant, but that's not really part of the soundtrack. 3/10
-Genre: This is a drama. 1/4
-->Overall: 42/100
It's always interesting to see movies from other countries. But when I compare, let's say, 'Le gendarme a New York' with 'Un Argentino en New York', the French film wins hands down, even though it was made more than 30 years before this one. Maybe the Argentinians should have tried comedy, too. >From Swordlord, 1 sword down!
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
How the tables can turn
IMDb mark: 9
Is this movie a comedy? I wouldn't say so. Is it funny? It depends on your sense of humour. Is it good? Yes, absolutely. 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' isn't the type of movie that makes a person laugh from beginning to end. But, in my opinion, it is a great movie to watch whenever you want to relax. It's a 'feel-good' film.
-Plot: One big-time crook and one small-time crook, both of them experts in scamming women, meet paths and then do everything possible to make some profit off of their encounter on the French Riviera. 25/25
-Cast: There's no doubt that 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' owes a lot of its charm to the two great actors portraying the main characters, namely Michael Caine and Steve Martin. The supporting cast do a good job, too. 15/17
-Ending: The ending is very good. Perhaps a bit too pushed to the extreme, but excellent nonetheless. Of course, taste varies. 14/15
-Comedy: It's not humour that jumps at you. One needs to like and understand more sophisticated humour to get chuckles out of it. But it's fine as it is; otherwise, the movie would have been a classic comedy. 12/14
-Acting: Steve Martin and Michael Caine are excellent. Glenne Headly isn't bad, either. She and Mr. Caine even put their abilities to fake accents of foreign people to good use here. 11/11
-Shock Value: Not bad. A few surprises pop up here and there, and quite a few twists at the end hold the audience guessing. 7/8
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/6
-Genre: This is an adventure film. 2/4
-->Overall: 86/100
I'm afraid the title was meant to reveal something that isn't really there. I didn't find these guys to be dirty and rotten. Or maybe that's because I would be on their side. From Swordlord, 4 swords up!
Vivid (1999)
Luscious Kari
IMDb mark: 7
'Vivid' is only good for one thing: to watch Kari Wuhrer take her clothes off. And you can believe she looks fine, if they made a movie with that sole purpose. Anyhow, don't expect an artsy movie with some nudity, expect a nudie flick with some art in it.
-Nudity: Like I said, Billie, played by Kari Wuhrer (Salin, in this movie), is naked lots of times. Her nudity lasts for about 20 minutes out of the movie's total runtime of 83 minutes. But the nudity is much better in the beginning, the whole paint thing kind of ruins it later on. 30/38
-Actresses: Just two actresses are featured in 'Vivid', the second one being an older woman, much less attractive than Ms. (or is it 'Mrs.'?) Wuhrer. So, after doing the division by two (actresses), and the estimation of attractiveness (for each one)... 17/28
-Sex Scenes: I'm no expert at rating such scenes, but I would say they are okay. Like another reviewer suggested, watch for the anal problem that the main character encounters, later in the film. This text refers to the version entitled 'Vivid'. 8/10
-Suspense: There is hardly any suspense in this. 1/7
-Ending: The ending was well-suited for the film, but not great by any standards. 3/6
-Acting: At least they tried. 2/5
-Soundtrack: It's not great, but it does its job, which is to accompany the sex scenes, well. 2/2
-Genre: This is an erotic film 3/4
-->Overall: 66/100
Don't consider this movie a box office film deserving a general mark of 7 out of 10; consider it an erotic movie deserving a general mark of 7 out of 10 only as far as erotic movies go. So, this isn't even among the very best of sexy movies. Only some will like it. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
The Student Nurses (1970)
The Student Morons
IMDb mark: 3
This is a '70s type of film, all the way. Even though it was produced by Roger Corman's company, I don't think it is exactly the type of film people expect when they hear his name. Very likely, this blandness, as some might call it, has something to do with the fact that a woman directed the movie.
-Cast: I only heard of Elaine Giftos, whom I saw in a couple of episodes of 'Three's Company'. Other than her, I have never heard of any of the others. 2/20
-Nudity: I think Phred is the blond one; she is nude three times. Priscilla has the best nude scene, however. And Sharon is briefly topless, also. 14/20
-Ending: I wasn't crazy about the ending at all. Of course, taste varies. 4/15
-Acting: The acting in Corman's movies is usually very cheesy. So, maybe it's not surprising that it seemed cheesy here, too. 2/11
-Plot: Here are these 4 nurses, who are studying to become nurses. Dumb, isn't it? While doing so, they work and play, get tangled with the wrong people and, naturally, get involved with men. Each one of the four has like her own subplot. 2/10
-Theme: Don't mix business with pleasure. At least, that's what I make of it. 4/10
-Soundtrack: I couldn't say I liked it. 2/10
-Genre: This is a drama. 1/4
-->Overall: 31/100
Apart from the fact that the nurses are easy on the eyes, I couldn't possibly see why anyone would be compelled to watch this movie. It's a really bad sort of drama. From Swordlord, 2 swords down!
Circle of Two (1981)
More like an ellipse...
IMDb mark: 5 Most people don't like this movie. It could be because of the subject matter; it could be because of Tatum O'Neal's character; it could be because of her age when she filmed this movie; or it might even be because they think Richard Burton has stooped too low by doing this film. I like it a bit, though, and I think I might watch it again when I get the chance; I wouldn't spend any money on renting it, however. -Cast: The main characters, Ashley St. Clair and Sarah Norton, are played by Richard Burton and Tatum O'Neal, respectively, who were both very famous before agreeing to appear in this. Michael Wincott, who plays Paul, also seems to have made a name of himself. 12/20 -Nudity: Sarah is topless for a few moments before Ashley tells and forces her to cover up. 13/20 -Ending: I didn't like the ending. It didn't have much shock value, like I would have expected from a film with a subject matter like this. Of course, taste varies. 3/15 -Acting: All the actors did a nice job, in my opinion. Especially Richard Burton. 10/11 -Plot: An under-age schoolgirl falls for a much older man. But does he love her back? 3/10 -Theme: Oh, I don't know, first love can never be forgotten? Or some other mushy crap in the same vein. 1/10 -Soundtrack: It's not bad, actually. I liked it. 8/10 -Genre: This is a drama. 1/4 -->Overall: 51/100 It's not boring, it's just much too simple, I guess. And I think it's aimed for people who like romance stories. I'm not one of those, so I can't give this film too much credit. I would suggest you avoid it, especially if you don't approve of big age differences in relationships. From Swordlord, no sword up, no sword down!
Blue Velvet (1986)
Blue as the velvet was the night
IMDb mark: 8
This is one of David Lynch's weirdest films. It is exactly what we would expect from the director of 'Twin Peaks'. And it features quite a few of his favourite actors, whom we see working together in a lot of other productions he was involved in. And maybe that is also why the actor performances in this movie are very good.
-Ending: I pretty much liked the ending, especially what happened during the climax of the film. Of course, taste varies. 24/30
-Shock Value: No thriller can be interesting without some captivating moments that shock the viewer. 'Blue Velvet' has its fair share. Like when Frank comes over and Jeffrey is hiding in the closet. 17/20
-Suspense: The film alternates between being a police movie and a real shocker. And the latter part is when it gets really interesting and suspenseful. It doesn't maintain the same mood throughout. 12/20
-Nudity: Dorothy can be seen briefly nude when she's with Jeffrey, and then, later, topless for a longer period of time. 7/12
-Beginning: The first minutes of the film are cool. They do a good job of drawing the attention of the viewer, in my opinion. Of course, taste varies. 5/5
-Soundtrack: Very effective, I can't complain. And the two main songs, 'Blue Velvet' and 'Candy-Coloured Clown' are very nice. 5/5
-Cast: They became even more famous after acting in this film, than they were when they started working on it. But this wasn't the first motion picture for either of: Isabella Rossellini, Dennis Hopper, Kyle MacLachlan, Laura Dern, Dean Stockwell or Brad Dourif. So, as you can see, the cast is solid. 3/4
-Genre: This is a thriller. 3/4
-->Overall: 76/100
To sum it up, 'Blue Velvet' is not as weird and twisted as 'Twin Peaks' but, still, it is strange and won't appeal to everyone. From Swordlord, 3 swords up!
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
They're coming to get you, Barbara!
IMDb mark: 9
In order to give some actors and members of the crew of the 1968 version the opportunity to gain some money from the un-copyrighted franchise 'Night of the Living Dead', George Romero thought it would be a good idea to do a remake. And he let Tom Savini direct it, even though Savini hadn't directed before. Thus, 'George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead' was (re)born.
-Gore: Very, very good effects here! Like most zombie movies, it will not disappoint horror fans. Still, there was stuff that the MPAA demanded to be cut, but some of it can be seen in the documentary on the DVD. And, apparently, there exists a VHS uncut version. However, even for the R-rated version itself, highest mark has to be awarded. 30/30
-Suspense: Just when you think it's a safe enough environment for the characters, another scare comes their way. Exactly the way it should be in a horror movie. 15/15
-Ending: It is very different from the one in the classic version. But, apparently, from what I've read, it's more faithful to the original script. I liked the new ending, but not as much as the ending of the original. 13/15
-Death Scenes: Again, excellent! My favourite death is Johnnie's, even though you can see how they did it. I don't think I'm spoiling much by saying that the death scenes of the same characters are different in this remake, so don't expect a carbon copy. 11/11
-Atmosphere: Being stuck in a deserted house while monsters are trying to get you. What more can one horror buff want? It doesn't get boring at all. 10/10
-Nudity: In a lame attempt to imitate (some of) the nudity in the original, a zombie is seen nude, from the back only. 0/10
-Cast: Tony Todd and Patricia Tallman weren't exactly unknown when they took part in this movie, but the rest were quite unknown; oh, and there's this guy, Bill 'Chilly Billy' Cardille, who was in the 1968 movie, too. 2/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 85/100
I don't understand the people who say this is inferior to the black-and-white film. Maybe they are just being nostalgic. From Swordlord, 4 swords up!
Day of the Dead (1985)
The apocalypse has passed, the aftermath is here
IMDb mark: 8
The last film in Romero's Dead trilogy, 'Day of the Dead' finishes what 'Night of the Living Dead' started, in the same style, of course. The whole plot development, throughout the 3 films, might not be to everyone's liking, especially the ending(s), but they certainly are to my liking.
-Gore: This is Tom Savini, handling the special effects here. One couldn't ask for anything more. 30/30
-Suspense: 'Day of the Dead' is a suspenseful movie, definitely. It's got very nice twists here and there, and some good scares. 13/15
-Ending: It's really cool, even though it's not exactly what I would have done. Of course, taste varies. 14/15
-Death Scenes: Just when I thought I saw the best death scene ever, this movie showed me another one, a better one. Watch Rhodes! 11/11
-Atmosphere: I really like the atmosphere in this film. It's dark, serious, and the time goes by extremely fast; yeah, it's that good. Also, probably every person who watches this movie will find someone he or she can identify with. 10/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: The cast is unknown. Apparently, Howard Sherman, who plays Bub, was on 'General Hospital', and Terry Alexander was somewhat famous before starring in 'Day of the Dead', but I still am not familiar with any of their other movies. 1/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 83/100
If you want to see an excellent, gory film from the '80s, that is not funny or Italian, and you have already seen 'The Evil Dead', go for 'Day of the Dead'. It's great! From Swordlord, 3 swords up!
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Apocalypse Now
IMDb mark: 9
"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth!" And they will inevitably be drawn towards malls. But mall movies are cool, really. And 'Dawn of the Dead' is super-cool. It's classic cinema now, I would dare say, and, if only one zombie film were to be saved in the case of a (natural) disaster, I think this should be it.
-Gore: There are a lot of versions of this movie: an Italian cut, a director's cut, an extended German version and an alternate extended version. And they are all said to be gorier than the U.S. theatrical cut. But the latter is very gory, also, and definitely worth watching. 30/30
-Suspense: It's very suspenseful at times. Other times, it's just entertaining. Either way, it's really fun. 12/15
-Ending: I liked the ending very much. Of course, taste varies. 14/15
-Death Scenes: There are very few death scenes in the first half of the film. That is, if you don't consider the already dead zombies, of course. But, towards the end, just hold on! And look for Stephen's elevator scene, it's wicked cool! 10/11
-Atmosphere: Different from the atmosphere in 'Night of the Living Dead' and different from the one in 'Day of the Dead', the atmosphere in this movie is still great. It's interesting to see what will happen to the main characters, and there are a few nice subplots. 10/10
-Nudity: Francine is briefly shown topless in bed, not far from the end of the film. 7/10
-Cast: Not too well-known actors in this movie. It seems Ken Foree, who plays Peter, is the best-known of the whole bunch. 1/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 88/100
Romero's trilogy does a great job of reminding people that we will never all see eye to eye, even if the entire human race is in jeopardy. It's what really separates us from the animals... uh, zombies. From Swordlord, 4 swords up!
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
The best horror movie in black-and-white
IMDb mark: 7
In my opinion, 'Night of the Living Dead', directed by George A. Romero, only has to compete with F.W. Murnau's 'Nosferatu: eine symphonie des grauens' for the title of the best, or maybe just the scariest, black-and-white horror film ever. Of course, this one wins by a landslide. It even puts to shame many colour horror movies. Admittedly, this film does look a little outdated now, but imagine its impact in 1968, when all the public was seeing were those nice, feel-good monster flicks, like 'The Fly' and 'Return of the Fly'.
-Gore: The thing here is that gore doesn't look as good in only two colours. But still, some scenes truly are awesome, like when one zombie is eating the hand of a victim; and quite a few more. Also, if you don't consider it a desecration of a classic, you can hunt for the colorized version made in 1987; I'm not sure how good the quality of the colour is in that version, though. 17/30
-Suspense: The first time you see it, this movie will keep you in suspense until the end. And prepare to be shocked. When you see 'Night of the Living Dead' again, however, it's just not as frightening, because you won't be able to forget the scenes that easily. 13/15
-Ending: Wow, the ending is unbelievable! It's extraordinary! But don't watch the ending with Scott Vladimir Licina in it, that's pure crap. The last 15 minutes of the true original version are of such an intensity, that can rarely be encountered in other movies. "Okay, that's another one for the fire!" 15/15
-Death Scenes: Absolutely no complaints here. Check out Helen's death! It's the best black-and-white death scene I've ever watched and it kind of makes Hitchcock's scenes look like 'G'-rated stuff. 11/11
-Atmosphere: While this film is incredibly creepy at times, it can become boring every once in a while. Those news bulletins the characters watch and hear aren't always helping the mood of the film, and the 30th Anniversary Edition is even worse, especially with the altered beginning ad ending, tossing God into the mix. 7/10
-Nudity: One of the zombies is seen first nude from the back, then topless from the side. But this is removed from the 30th Anniversary Edition and some other versions. 1/10
-Cast: They have all become famous for being in this movie: Duane Jones, Judith O'Dea, Bill Hinzman, and perhaps a few others, too. I haven't seen any of them in anything else yet, though. 1/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 69/100
'Night of the Flesh Eaters' is famous for not being copyrighted. So, therefore, it is probably the film with the most different versions available. Even colorized versions have been created. But beware, because only few of all those various editions are truly worth the money. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
Perfect Timing (1986)
P-p-p-p-perfect ti-ming!
IMDb mark: 7
This movie, and everything it stands for, is one of the reasons why I am sad that the '80s are gone. It's a silly little comedy, which shows every single attractive female in it naked or, at least, topless. Now, how can a man not like this?
-Humour: Surprisingly, there are some nice, funny lines in this skin flick. I guarantee, you will chuckle, at least a couple of times. 13/25
-Physical Comedy: 'Perfect Timing' isn't that bad in this department, either. Just wait till you see Ziggy lighting a cigarette with a blowtorch! Actually, just wait till you see Ziggy! I'm kidding, he's not that funny-looking. But you be the judge... 11/20
-Plot: A nice girl, Charlotte, is trying to help two brothers raise the money they need to keep their loft, in which they had and have many amorous adventures. But the older brother is giving her a hard time, because he's an eccentric artist. 11/15
-Ending: I liked the ending a lot. I thought it was perfect for the movie. Of course, taste varies. 10/10
-Theme: Well, what do you know, 'Perfect Timing' has a theme, too! Sometimes, all you need is right in front of you. Doesn't blow you away but, in the case of this movie, who cares? 7/10
-Nudity: In order of disrobing: Judy, Karen, Bonnie, then Bonnie again, Judy again, Lacy, Judy once again, Bonnie once again, Salina and Charlotte; and then there's the final orgy (read: music video), where you can see even more women topless. Also, there is this girl, Leslie, who is stuck naked inside a body cast, and spends the entire movie in various stages of 'progress', if you wish to call it that. 8/8
-Cast: Michele Scarabelli is the only member of the cast I had heard of. 1/8
-Genre: This is a comedy. 4/4
-->Overall: 65/100
You may think the mark I gave this movie is too high. It sure is, if you always want to see Oscar material. But, as a guy, I have to say that this is quite funny at times and pretty enjoyable if you have nothing to do. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
One, two; the poltergeist of Freddy's coming for you!
IMDb mark: 7
Horror movies made in the '90s are terrible. Sure, you got 'Bram Stoker's Dracula', which is itself hardly a typical horror movie, but, other than that, it was a horrible era as far as gore goes. In 1994, Wes Craven tried to make another great horror film, reminiscent of the spectacular '80s, and to make way for Freddy to retire in a glorious manner. And he nearly succeeded. I say "nearly", first because it's not really a great horror film, since most of the film looks like a thriller basically, and only the ending seems like part of a horror; secondly, because he didn't succeed in retiring Freddy Krueger, seeing as how he just made his comeback in 'Freddy Vs. Jason'.
-Gore: Although the last twenty minutes sure are nice, there isn't a whole lot of gore in this movie. Especially if you've gotten used to Freddy's face. And a lot of the ideas that lead to the gory scenes are taken from the previous films, so they don't really take you by surprise. However, the scene with Chase's eyes has some redeeming qualities. 21/30
-Suspense: Wes Craven is the master of suspense, really. This is not as scary as the first movie, but it comes close. I really don't think anyone else could have made this film as suspenseful as Mr. Craven did. 15/15
-Ending: I liked the ending, very much. Of course, taste varies. 15/15
-Death Scenes: These are not great at all. Although there are more deaths here than in the parts 5 and 6, they are worse. It's hard to pick one, just because they seem so far apart and unoriginal and gratuitous, but I think I have to go with Julie's. Tinaaaa!... I mean, "ever play skin the cat?" 4/11
-Atmosphere: After one sees the first 30-40 minutes, one will probably wonder, "how the hell are they going to make this into a horror movie?" But it does turn into a nice, scary movie, eventually, and another good thing is that it doesn't get over-emotional, either, even though it could have. 9/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: Besides Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, the guy who played Rod Lane in the original -- Nick Corri -- and the actress who played Nancy's English teacher -- Lin Shaye, in a new role here --, it is nice to finally see Wes Craven and Robert Shaye acting in a Nightmare on Elm Street movie. The credits also indicate that Tuesday Knight, Kristen from part 4, was in 'New Nightmare', but I didn't recognize her. And last, but not least, there's Miko Hughes, who was quite famous before he appeared in this. 4/5
-Genre: This is a horror film, just barely. 4/4
-->Overall: 72/100
In conclusion, 'Wes Craven's New Nightmare' has a very interesting premise, but one perhaps not too well-suited for a really scary horror film. Nevertheless, the movie fares quite well, and it doesn't disappoint at all. Too bad Wes Craven didn't get involved in all 7 movies! From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
This is your brain on drugs!
IMDb mark: 6
Rachel Talalay: "I am not a horror film fan, and I had no desire to do a slasher movie." Indeed, this can be seen in the way this film is made. She sure was more preoccupied with kids on dope and with scars of the past than with having a monster kill people in their sleep. But it's still an enjoyable movie.
-Gore: Even less gory than part 5; but still pretty good compared with many other horror films. I liked the way Freddy enumerated the ways in which people tried to get rid of him. It made me think back to part 1. 23/30
-Suspense: There's very little suspense in this one. Well, maybe a little bit more if you are scared of heights; or of video games... Or perhaps if it is the first Freddy movie you see. 5/15
-Ending: Not a bad final showdown, but I felt the ending was a bit rushed. Of course, taste varies. 8/15
-Death Scenes: No improvement here over the previous installment of the Nightmare on Elm Street series. My favourite death scene has to be Carlos'. 4/11
-Atmosphere: This movie is pretty eerie at times, but not scary. Again, Freddy messes with some of the trends of the time when the movie was made. Hmm, great graphics! 7/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: You have Robert Englund and Lisa Zane in the main roles. Then, there's Breckin Meyer and Yaphet Kotto in secondary roles. And, of course, some very nice cameos: Roseanne Barr and her future husband, Tom Arnold; Robert Shaye, the producer of all 7 films and the TV series, as a ticket seller; Alice Cooper, the rock'n roll star; and, wait... is that Johnny Depp, on TV? 4/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 55/100
They really deal with Fred Krueger's life a lot in this film. Maybe too much. I personally liked him better when he was so mysterious and creepy. He didn't need a reason for what he did. From Swordlord, 1 sword up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989)
Hi, Alice. Want to make babies?
IMDb mark: 7
Five, six; grab your crucifix. I initially hoped to incorporate that into the title of this review. Remember, in part 1, how Nancy was able to sleep well when she was holding the crucifix? And also how, as soon as she put it back in its place, Freddy stopped creeping through the wall? I guess the makers of the Nightmare on Elm Street sequels missed out on any potential a crucifix might have had. Anyway... This installment gives the viewers more insight on Freddy's origin and expands his story on a whole new level.
-Gore: This film is not gorier than any of the predecessors. May be even less gory, actually... despite the nice bike scene in the beginning, with its Spawn-like charm. 25/30
-Suspense: It comes pretty close to the original. 'A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child' is fast-paced, you never know what's going to happen, and the sound is really eerie. 15/15
-Ending: The ending was cool, but not great. Of course, taste varies. 9/15
-Death Scenes: This is probably the worst aspect of the fifth Nightmare on Elm Street. Just 3 deaths in this one; even the first movie had more, and those were far better done. The best murder here is Dan's, clearly. 5/11
-Atmosphere: Now, this is great. The locations are unreal, spooky and well-suited for each and every scene, in my opinion. You can swear the asylum is taken from Tim Burton's films, or perhaps Harry Potter's world, whichever one you're more familiar with. Just like with the first one, I never thought about anything from the outside world while watching this Nightmare on Elm Street; that's a big plus, naturally. 10/10
-Nudity: Alice is, apparently, nude in the shower at the beginning of the movie. 2/10
-Cast: Again, besides Robert Englund, there are no other famous actors here. Lisa Wilcox, who reprises her role from part 4, and Erika Anderson, the best-known of the rest of the cast, never quite made it big. 2/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 72/100
I had seen this movie a couple of times before, but I was pleasantly surprised when I watched it this last time. Although the cast is not star-studded, the make-up may not be top-notch and the acting is probably so-and-so, 'A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child' is the second most suspenseful film in the series. And we all know scary movies are rare. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)
Running from this nightmare
IMDb mark: 7
There are some characters in this film that really could have run away from Freddy's nightmares, but they didn't. It's also interesting to see Fred Krueger gaining some new powers in this sequel. The makers of the film played the high-school card, just like the makers of part 2 did, but I think they did it better in this one. Kristen, Joey and Kincaid are still around, but the girl is no longer played by Patricia Arquette.
-Gore: Although the scenes in question can seem far apart, there are some good, gory scenes in this one, yes. Freddy's face, and his body, also help at making this film gruesome-ish. 27/30
-Suspense: Unfortunately, this film isn't too suspenseful. Perhaps the most captivating scene takes place after Kristen's mother takes her home. 6/15
-Ending: The ending was okay, I guess. Of course, taste varies. 7/15
-Death Scenes: Still original. And I still like Freddy's style very much. Two deaths from this movie are real nice. However, as sweet as Sheila's passing is, I gotta go with Debbie's death, all the way! 11/11
-Atmosphere: I don't know why, certain parts of this film seemed like parts of a TV movie to me. But, just like in all the sequels, as soon as Freddy appears, the action becomes intense again. Also, if you are familiar with martial-arts action films, you will probably like some scenes that pure horror fans might not enjoy as much. I know I did. And Freddy's one-liners do their job well. 8/10
-Nudity: A model, from a pin-up poster, is shown topless live, in a dream, not long into the film. 2/10
-Cast: Apart from Robert Englund, I suppose Tuesday Knight, the actress who plays Kristen, is the best-known member of the cast. I liked the way she acted, though, and her song as well. 2/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 67/100
Will the remaining dream warriors hold their own against the dream master again? You will find out if you watch the fourth part of Nightmare on Elm Street. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
The bastard son of a hundred maniacs... is back!
IMDb mark: 8
Freddy Krueger, 6 years after having failed to terminate Nancy Thompson on his first attempt, comes back to kill the remaining children who lived on Elm Street, and finds more than he bargained for when Nancy comes back to help those poor, institutionalized kids. This is basically the plot of 'A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors', which is a very entertaining horror film, although not too scary for the connoisseur. I don't get why Freddy, who killed basically just little kids when he was alive, now only goes for teenagers, but, hey, what can you do?
-Gore: Pretty nice, I have to say. The way Freddy dealt with Phillip and his first attempt on Kristen were very cool. Starting with this film, however, Freddy's face isn't shown only sporadically and in dim light anymore, so its scary appearance had to be toned down. 27/30
-Suspense: The nightmare scenes are scary, to a certain extent, the film isn't. But the sound effects help build some tension. 11/15
-Ending: I liked the ending, very much. Of course, taste varies. 14/15
-Death Scenes: Freddy's count in this film is higher than in the previous two films. Of course, it could have easily been even higher. The endings for his victims are as ingenious as always. And I have two favourites from this one, not just one; I think both Phillip's and Jennifer's deaths are great. 11/11
-Atmosphere: The atmosphere in the regular scenes is much like a TV movie. But whenever Freddy gets involved, it really picks up. The dream world is great, as usual. 8/10
-Nudity: Marcie, one of the nurses, is briefly topless. 2/10
-Cast: This has, arguably, the best cast of all Nightmare on Elm Street movies. Patricia Arquette, Robert Englund, Craig Wasson, Laurence Fishburne, John Saxon, Heather Langenkamp and Jennifer Rubin are all in this film, and there is also a very brief cameo appearance by Zsa Zsa Gabor. Can you spot it? 5/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 82/100
Starting with this sequel, Freddy began to show his face more. But, apparently, he got a good make-over before doing so, too. Could he have been shown for as much time as in this film, or any of the following ones, with the same face he had in the first movie? Sadly, I'll never know. From Swordlord, 3 swords up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
You've got the body, I've got the brain!
The actors from the first part did not come back for this sequel. Except Robert Englund. So, New Line Cinema got new ones. And they made this second part in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, to cash in on the success of the first one. Sounds familiar, no? Compared to the original, it's funny, but less scary. It also puts a little more emphasis on love and friendship than it should. But, really, this movie is not as bad as some people say.
-Gore: Although they really tried, this isn't gorier than the first one. But you will see Freddy pulling some pretty cool stunts. And his face still hasn't lost most of its creepiness. 26/30
-Suspense: The funny moments present in the film kind of take away the tension. Most of the scary moments are concentrated towards the end. 11/15
-Ending: I pretty much liked the ending; the last 2 minutes of it much more than the previous 3-5 minutes. Of course, taste varies. 12/15
-Death Scenes: Unlike in the first movie, the death scenes in 'A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge' are gratuitous. They are nice, though. Check out the last moments of poor Grady! 8/11
-Atmosphere: The dream sequences are very good, especially the first and last. I'm not sure if the whole high-school-friendship thing blends in well with a horror film, however. 6/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: I have seen Robert Englund and Clu Gulager in other films, but I don't recall any other movies starring Mark Patton or Kim Myers. 2/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 69/100
If you forget the fact that this film is the sequel to 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' or if you see it before that one, you will probably say that it is a pretty good horror flick. And it is, especially compared with most of the horror flicks being made nowadays. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
You've got the body, I've got the brain!
The actors from the first part did not come back for this sequel. Except Robert Englund. So, New Line Cinema got new ones. And they made this second part in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, to cash in on the success of the first one. Sounds familiar, no? Compared to the original, it's funny, but less scary. It also puts a little more emphasis on love and friendship than it should. But, really, this movie is not as bad as some people say.
-Gore: Although they really tried, this isn't gorier than the first one. But you will see Freddy pulling some pretty cool stunts. And his face still hasn't lost most of its creepiness. 26/30
-Suspense: The funny moments present in the film kind of take away the tension. Most of the scary moments are concentrated towards the end. 11/15
-Ending: I pretty much liked the ending; the last 2 minutes of it much more than the previous 3-5 minutes. Of course, taste varies. 12/15
-Death Scenes: Unlike in the first movie, the death scenes in 'A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge' are gratuitous. They are nice, though. Check out the last moments of poor Grady! 8/11
-Atmosphere: The dream sequences are very good, especially the first and last. I'm not sure if the whole high-school-friendship thing blends in well with a horror film, however. 6/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/10
-Cast: I have seen Robert Englund and Clu Gulager in other films, but I don't recall any other movies starring Mark Patton or Kim Myers. 2/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 69/100
If you forget the fact that this film is the sequel to 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' or if you see it before that one, you will probably say that it is a pretty good horror flick. And it is, especially compared with most of the horror flicks being made nowadays. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Watch this!
IMDb mark: 9
This movie is really great! It's interesting, it's frightening, it's captivating. And, as hard as this may be to believe, 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is as fresh now as it was when it came out. In my opinion, this is truly the masterpiece of Wes Craven's directing career. If you are a horror fan, you mustn't miss this film!
-Gore: It isn't a gore-fest, like most living dead movies are, but it does have a fair amount of gore. Freddy's face is at its most disgusting in this movie. It's dirtier and nastier than ever. I wonder why they altered it for the sequels. 26/30
-Suspense: I have never seen a movie that builds up suspense as well as this film. When you see it for the first time, you will be on the edge of your seat for more than two thirds of the film. Make sure you don't fall, though! 15/15
-Ending: The ending of 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' is truly awesome! You have to see it to believe it. Why aren't endings like this being made anymore? Of course, taste varies (which probably answers the rhetoric question I just posed). 15/15
-Death Scenes: All the death scenes are ingenious, original, well-made, different from one another and surely not gratuitous. They are crucial for the plot development. I wonder how the ladies liked Tina's death. 11/11
-Atmosphere: Perfect atmosphere in this film, definitely. The transition between reality and the characters' dreams is always subtly done. The dream world is always spooky, but the viewer doesn't know what will happen, or even what exactly to expect. Freddy's lines are extremely witty and clever, in my opinion. 10/10
-Nudity: Nancy is, apparently, nude in the bathtub scene, but a body double was actually used for that. 2/10
-Cast: Although they weren't as well-known then as they are now, this film starred some pretty famous actors: Johnny Depp, Robert Englund, John Saxon and Heather Langenkamp. 4/5
-Genre: This is a horror film. 4/4
-->Overall: 87/100
People oftentimes say that the first part in a series of films is the best, seldom with a good reason. But they would be right to say so in this case. The sequels really had a hard time trying to measure up to the horror greatness achieved in this excellent first incarnation of Freddy's saga. From Swordlord, 4 swords up!
Schizopolis (1996)
What was he thinking? What was I thinking?!...
IMDb mark: 4
I sincerely wonder why Steven Soderbergh made this film. Could anyone really identify oneself with the deranged main character(s) from this film? Moreover, to snub people who aren't likely to enjoy this film, a guy says in the beginning something like "if you do not understand this film, it is your fault, not ours; you will have to see the film again". However, it's not the understanding I had problems with, although it is tough to figure everything out; the problem is I was yawning after 45 minutes, even though I had waken up just 5 hours before.
-Humour: Well, you can spot a few comedy moments, but they are only funny in a weird, sad, twisted sort of way. Additional generic remark about the humour in said film. (!-you'll understand this sentence after you see the film-!) 6/25
-Physical Comedy: It's not much better here, either. Many absurd situations arise and the consequences are absurd, too. And is that crazy guy who runs from the men in white supposed to be funny? 7/20
-Plot: The plot is very twisted, too. Dr. Jeffrey Korchek, Fletcher Munson and his wife are all involved in an amorous triangle, and the other characters in the film influence their decisions and relationships. The film is divided into three parts, one for each of the three main characters. 11/15
-Ending: The ending is not bad for this movie. I liked it. Of course, taste varies. 7/10
-Theme: I couldn't come up with a theme for this movie, other than the well-known expression "It's a mad, mad world...". There are, probably, many possible interpretations for this artsy film. 2/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/8
-Cast: Steven Soderbergh is the only well-known person who acts in 'Schizopolis'. 1/8
-Genre: This tries to be a comedy. 3/4
-->Overall: 37/100
This is sort of interesting to watch once, I guess, perhaps just because it is so odd. But I seriously doubt whether one would like to watch it again. From Swordlord, 1 sword down!
Ali G Indahouse (2002)
Je m'appelle Ali. J'habite in Staines.
IMDb mark: 7
What a fun film this is! Especially the beginning... 'Ali g Indahouse' has got to have one of the greatest, funniest intros ever! Even the opening credits are hilarious. But you have to be open-minded. This movie certainly isn't for the people who move their heads disapprovingly when they see you purchasing prophylactic wrappers. Getting back to the movie, this film is likely to offend not only older people but women, too. So, it is fairly obvious that the movie is intended for a restricted audience.
-Humour: There is more than a fair share of swearing in this movie. There are more than a few sexist remarks in this film. And yes, they are extremely funny. But there are even a few very funny lines that aren't sexist or obscene. 25/25
-Physical Comedy: Sacha Baron Cohen is the one who provides nearly all of the funny stuff in this film, but he does it really well. He finds himself in predicaments and tense moments throughout the whole film, and some of his reactions are priceless. 17/20
-Plot: The plot is very far-fetched. One of Britain's party leaders decides to use a stupid young man he sees outside making a fool of himself in his plot to overthrow the Prime Minister. But that young man isn't just anyone, he is street tough Ali g, who is one bad dude. 6/15
-Ending: I didn't think the ending was too great. Of course, taste varies. 4/10
-Theme: Not all people can be judged by their exterior. 9/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film, although there are a couple of nude pictures of some unknown women briefly shown late in the film. 0/8
-Cast: I hadn't heard of Sacha Baron Cohen before seeing this film, but apparently he is better-known in the United Kingdom, having his own series, 'Da Ali G Show'. Other somewhat famous actors in this movie are Rhona Mitra and Charles Dance, and there is a cameo appearance by Naomi Campbell. 2/8
-Genre: This is a comedy. 4/4
-->Overall: 67/100
It's so nice and refreshing to see a good sexist, lewd comedy among this bland sea of chick comedies. Since 'Married... with Children', I haven't laughed this hard while seeing a new comedy. From Swordlord, 2 swords up!
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?
IMDb mark: 6
I don't understand why people like the Austin Powers movies so much. I don't understand why I like them. They are very silly, they are vulgar and they are rude. Or maybe that is exactly why I like them... 'Austin Powers in Goldmember' follows in the footsteps of the previous two incarnations and yet it still is appealing to the public. But I don't know whether the makers of the film are still mocking James Bond movies, or if they just saw that the series is a success and are trying to squeeze as much as they can out of it.
-Humour: There are some great jokes in this movie. Many of them are just updates from the previous films, but there are some new ones, too, and the new ones are the best, in my opinion. The lines are still racy, of course. Look for the line I chose as the title of this review. 21/25
-Physical Comedy: Not too many moments of physical comedy can be seen, given that the Austin Powers movies have always been about funny expressions with double meaning, which is why they are surely not as popular among people who don't speak English. Mike Myers and Verne Troyer, who plays Mini-Me, provide basically all of the physical comedy. They still couldn't find a funny female character, even though Beyonce Knowles is a bit better than the totally unfunny Elizabeth Hurley and Heather Graham. 7/20
-Plot: By the way they advertised the movie, the plot was supposed to be that Austin goes back in time to save his father. But that really is a small part of the whole film, the rest being a sequence of events quite hard to follow logically. 4/15
-Ending: I liked the ending a lot. Of course, taste varies. 9/10
-Theme: A spy who has everything tries to get a little more and to save the world, while he's at it. But it's not a bad idea for a parody and, as long as it's funny, it's all good. 9/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/8
-Cast: This is very impressive. Mike Myers in multiple roles, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green and Michael Caine are all fairly well-known stars. But there are also great cameos, by Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, Steven Spielberg, Britney Spears, and more. 8/8
-Genre: This is a comedy. 4/4
-->Overall: 62/100
It's a good continuation of the previous two parts. I'm sure it won't disappoint the fans of the series. But the type of humour might not please everybody and, just for the record, my personal favourite is still part two, The Spy Who Shagged Me. From Swordlord, 1 sword up!
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
Yo, cousin Vinny! Is there anything that you could do for me?
IMDb mark: 8
I like the song. And I like the movie even more. It's very interesting when you see it for the first time, and it's still lots of fun when you see it again. This is a funny, witty, oftentimes sarcastic film that makes you really like the main characters. It entices you to wait and see exactly how the movie is going to end, even though the outcome seems fairly obvious from the get-go. But in the case of this movie, it's not about the finish line, but about the path which leads there.
-Humour: The dialogue in 'My Cousin Vinny' contains a lot of swearing, but the swearing is so funny and so well mixed in with the action, that the film invariably seems dull if you try to see the syndicated TV version. Some lines are so smart and full of clever irony that you will laugh even if you've seen the scene before. It's not all funny, like the Naked Gun movies, though. 20/25
-Physical Comedy: There are a few funny bits of physical comedy; most from Joe Pesci, naturally. And it is quite entertaining to see Marisa Tomei in a backless, one-piece, flower body-suit arguing with Mr. Pesci about her biological clock. 12/20
-Plot: This film has a very interesting plot, that keeps the viewer's attention until the end. A couple of innocent-looking boys from New York are being trialed for murder in a town in Alabama, and they call Vinny, one of the boys' cousin, who is a lawyer, to help them for free. 15/15
-Ending: I liked the ending very much. Of course, taste varies. 10/10
-Theme: What can happen to strangers in a small town in the countryside, and the conflict between two completely different types of people. It's very interesting to see sparks fly due to this conflict. Of course, if you want to see this theme taken to the extreme, there's always 'Nothing But Trouble' ('Valkenvania'). 8/10
-Nudity: There is no nudity in this film. 0/8
-Cast: Joe Pesci, Ralph Macchio and, of course, Marisa Tomei are not only well-known actors, but they are also awesome in this movie. Fred Gwynne, as the judge, and Bruce McGill, as the sheriff, are great, too, and practically all the actors are very believable. 7/8
-Genre: This is a comedy. 4/4
-->Overall: 76/100
To sum it up, this is a very good movie to watch whenever you can, because it's very hard to get bored of it. For some people, it might seem even better the second time. From Swordlord, 3 swords up!