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Harry Brown (2009)
4/10
Michael Caine takes to the streets in another example of fear-mongering moral bankruptcy
10 February 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I can't deny the highly authentic and strong performances in this film, particularly that of Michael Caine. But I have to vouch against some of the reviews written for this film.

Its typical how some have praised this film with anger and vitriol, venting furious rage at the 'declining state of our society' and the 'ever growing youth crime' in this country. Well maybe that's what the film wanted, to want people to feel angry. The papers of course are spilling stories of rampant violent youth crime day after day. Even to the point where the Sun labelled England "worse than New York in the 80's". Only in the Sun eh? Wrong, you can thank the Daily Mail, The Mirror, News of the World and any other cheap tabloid to make us all believe in the sensationalistic viewpoint that with live in a country overrun with murderous chavs. Well I don't. And I bet other reviewers are just repeating what they see when they turn on Sky news each morning.

There is crime always present, I am not naive. Violent crime has been around in Britain for decades stretching way back, gangs have always been around, apathetic youth have always been around, it just comes with a different face and attitude with each decade that passes that's all. The way I see it, violent youths aren't getting worse, the papers are being more dramatic with it. Treating its viewers and readers like saps and unable to report the stories without trying to tapping into either our greatest fears or our moral outrage, or worse, inflaming it. With so many people watching Harry Brown and other vigilante films alike, I'm finding it hard to see a positive review without someone going off about how they believe that this film truly represents the Britain of today as a whole or how they got off watching the evil hoodies get their comeuppance or ranting how the police are utterly useless. There are so much complications regarding the incessant bureaucracy within the police force and the courts, and so many complications regarding disillusioned youths, their families and upbringings and surroundings to turn them into the feral thugs they are.... but hey, why bother trying to think why its like this when we can watch a film that simply encourages and directs our hate on them by watching a lonely, desperate old pensioner pump bullets in these kids? You might think I'm going off into a futile rant while thinking "its just a film, made for entertainment and nothing else". Well, it didn't entertain me as so much as leave a sour taste on my mouth by the time I left the cinema by showing some of the nastiest character ever seen on screen. Screenwriter Gary Young has really pulled off making these lowlife scum about as contemptible as you can get. Each scene is colour drained and murky enough to give that real sense of bleak hopelessness to flood over the audience. It doesn't so much give a sense of gritty realism as so much as realism perceived by Prozac addicts. And as for the whole "just a film" aspect, Harry Brown tries to be social commentary and is none too subtle about it either, making several negative characterisations at the police with their ambivalent behaviour and blatant incompetence towards each situation portrayed in the film - Emily Mortimer gives a truly flat, wet performance and Charles Creed Miles gives his copper such a common, vacant-minded role that even cynics of the law would be hardly convinced they're playing accurate police officers.

The plot structure of Harry Brown isn't original either. It really is a case of been-there-done-that that was seen in Death Wish and The Brave One. You know, it starts with the innocent, quiet civilian who's friend/loved one is savagely murdered, mourns their loss, purchases a weapon for self defence, has their first kill an accidental act of said self-defence, feels sickened/shocked by what they've done but discover they have an act for that sort of violence and continue to hunt and murder thugs each night. You'd think that 35 years after Death Wish came out these filmmakers might have wanted to think of something a little more original? Although Harry Brown is different in that light which Harry's mission is to personally hunt down the thugs who killed his friend for revenge, the conclusion is inevitable, if not also unbelievable. By throwing in a seemingly random, plot twist involving the relationship of the head thug Noel (Ben Drew) but also climaxing the film in an enormous riot where the police face off against what seems over a hundred psychotic hoodies (in ONE small council estate) the film by then is now just going way over the top in trying to convince us that we are in a living hell. It also ends with a voice-over narrative of how the actions that happened in this film led to a decrease in violent crime overall in the town as the camera follows Harry Brown down in the underpass. Now it may not glorify violence in general due to the ugly way its portrayed here, but it does however, not only glorify vigilantism and violent retribution but also tries to justify it too. It is just completely morally bankrupt.

But hey, at least its not as head-smackingly awful as the 2007 film Outlaw, which is at least some small relief.

One day hopefully we'll see a vigilante/revenge based film that accurately portrays the REAL society we live in without the extreme perceptions created by sensationalist media (or better yet, make an example of them and their clear influence on people across the nation) and actually nail down the roots of why some of the youths of today are vicious and heartless in the first place. Rather than resorting to our inner fascist fantasies of just wanting to see them die.
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2/10
And yet another comedy for 2009's trash pile
10 August 2009
This is a review of the test screening of this film I saw on 12th May and I can almost believe nothing has changed since then. But thank god this film was free, because plain and simply, this film is atrocious!

It more or less has the same kind of moronic humour as Anchorman, Talladega Nights... in fact most of the crap Will Farrell stars in. Only this time its Jeremy Piven who has the lead role as Don Ready, a car salesman who, with his team of entourages (pun blatantly intended) help a car company from going under, and possibly grab the love of his life. Yeah the same old crap seen a hundred times before, only its got endless amounts of juvenile sex humour coming from every corner.

This film has sod all going for it. For starters, they're car salesmen. Sure you could look at it as taking a very basic profession, going overboard with it and laughing at the ludicrousness of it, but you don't. Its a crap, empty concept from the very start.

What I hated more though was the awful material given to each of the main stars. > David Koechner (Brent) plays the SAME character he played in Anchorman, Talladega Nights...and almost every comedy he recently starred in - as a cocky motor-mouth redneck. Only this time his comedy angle in this includes cheap homophobic gags. > Kathryn Hahn (Babs) running gag through this involves trying to make sexual advances towards a 10 year-old boy with the body of a 40 year-old man. Its creepy beyond belief and its stretched to the point of tedium! > Ving Rhames (Jibby) has NO material to go for. He mentions about wanting to 'make love' rather than just screw women. This is the only attribute this character actually has and when he finally does make love to a woman - what does he say? "You know what, this is boring!" And d'know what? The feeling's mutual.

Jeremy Piven was really the only half-decent thing about this film. I say half-decent because he's playing an overconfident egoist not already seen in nearly all of Will Farrell's back catalogue. It may help that he's nowhere near as annoying as Will Farrell, but his character is still as bland as you can imagine. Speaking of Farrell, he has an uncredited cameo in this. Clad in Abraham Lincoln gear parachuting out of a plane with only sex toys to shield his fall. Doesn't stop him from performing his trademark humour > shouting endlessly, for a solid five minutes. You would've wished his scene was cut out completely.

Its just tripe from start to finish. It isn't just because of its cheap, dumb cruddy humour, its that it lazy. It follows exactly the same plot formula that films like Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Dodgeball, Semi-Pro, Blades of Glory etc have all done before. No thought went into this film at all. In fact its not a film, its product. Merely here to get some box-office receipts and please cheap minds until someone actually bothers to green-light something with an actual script!
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RocknRolla (2008)
4/10
Another major miss-fire from Guy Ritchie
10 September 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Early previews has called this a return to form. Hardly. This was for me, a major disappointment.

The moment the film begins, its as if it intentionally tries to confuse us as to what the hell this film's all about. Describing the plot is close to pointless. After all, Guy Ritchie isn't adept in the old art of storytelling, his films ran along the lines of sitcoms - a series of events instead of an actual story. Which wasn't a bad thing in the case of Lock, Stock & Snatch because emotional resonance with the audience was irrelevant. The goal there was to generate laughter. But RocknRolla is only funny in minor - and I DO mean minor - spots. What's more, it also doesn't help as it begins: of how it mentions that Britain is on the up in the property market. Seeing as of now the country is currently enduring credit-crunch problems, inflation rises and a major decrease in property value. You'd be surprised how automatically dated this makes the film.

Its unfair to judge a new film based on the director's previous efforts, but when its Guy Ritchie - who's been running on the same formula for the past 10 years - you can't help but do so. This film was advertised and touted as a return to form ala Lock, Stock and Snatch, but after the first time I watched those two, I loved them. Not looked at them with total scorn. The moments of humour and wit is few and far between, and some lines of dialogue and monologues try to add a little swagger but come off as pretentious and are inches away from falling into self-parody and returning to Revolver territory. And when the best laughs this film can generate involves around a character's homosexuality, you know this film is headed for the pits.

The performances here are strong, but it still doesn't account for the dialogue which just goes nowhere. The entire persona of Tom Wilkinson's cockney villain is almost entirely derived from Bob Hoskins in the Long Good Friday and Tony Kebbell's "Johnny Quid" (the RocknRolla of the film's title) is pretty much a totally pointless character - honestly, did this guy have any purpose in this film other than that he stole the painting? > No. In the end it doesn't help when the film's excuse for a plot is merely a bunch of distractions to hide what is really - a completely mediocre film. Its so convoluted anyway, its virtually nonsense.

Unlike Lock, Stock and Snatch, where all the characters and their situations are established, in this film they're not and it finishes with too many loose ends and plot holes, and contrivances. - What actually happened to Thandie Newton and the Russian with that painting? - Where did the whole Lenny's frame up of the characters come from then? - Will all this be revealed in Ricthie's intended sequel? Who knows? And who cares? Because if that were the case, the best described feeling that this would generate would be that you were cheated.

Guy Ritchie's flashy hyper-kinetic style is what keeps this film from being a total bore, but now's the time where he should stop writing scripts.
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4/10
An action film that offers a visual experience and nothing else
23 January 2005
OK, let me get straight to the point and start off by saying that this film is functioned by one simple pro and one massive con. The pro being the near endless action that occurs in RE:A, (even though the majority of it lacks any realism or sense) and the con being that the dialogue in this film has got to be some of the worst in any film that I have seen in 2004 - even though I've avoided such proverbial stinkers like Catwoman and House of the Dead. The film's plot is as basic as ever. Following the events that occurred from the first film, Alice (Milla Jovovich) awakes from the Umbrella hospital to a desolate Raccoon city which has succumbed to the T-Virus that once infected the Hive, here she roams the zombie-plagues streets in a bid to find survivors. Among them she finds S.T.A.R.S member Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) and a batch of RPD officers, and together they unite to escape the city. However, their problems are increased when they are pursued by a colossal hulking monster called the Nemesis which is being controlled by Umbrella. What follows (after the plot literally falls apart in front of your eyes) is the most unbelievable, non-sensical action you'll probably see, ever, in an action film. Hollywood cinematographer veteran Alexander Witt makes his directional debut with this film under the screenplay of Paul W.S Anderson, and it blatantly seems that Anderson had spend more time focusing on his Alien Vs. Predator project more than the work on this film. Because RE:A really does seemed rushed due to the fact that there is absolutely no character development whatsoever, enormous plot holes that would require an uneducated deaf-blind monkey to not acknowledge. But, if its any consolation, this film pays more homage to the video games than the previous film did, including several references and shot-by-shot scenes which are taken straight from the series. And because of the bigger budget, the visual effects have vastly improved from that of the original, but that doesn't excuse the fact that it still comes of as a failed attempt to create a wholesome action film. Its a good thing I'm such a fan of the Resident Evil game series, because if I wasn't - or if this film wasn't Resident Evil - the following score would've been a lot lower.

Score 5.5/10
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Mortal Kombat (1995)
6/10
A guilty pleasure
28 November 2004
Every hundred years a tournament takes place on a secret desolate island where skilled fighters are to put their wits together against warriors of another realm known as Outworld in Mortal Kombat. 3 of these warriors who were lured by chance are Liu Kang (Robin Shou) a gifted martial artist who joins purely for the purpose of seeking his brother's killer Shang Tsung (Cary Tawaga) who is also the leader of the opposing outworld side, Johnny Cage (Linden Ashbey) a highly criticized Hollywood actor who thinks this is the chance to finally prove himself, and Sonya Blade (Bridgette Wilson) a tough cop who joins the tournament to seek out her nemesis Kano (Trevor Goddard). And assisting the Earthrealm warriors is the Thunder God Raiden, giving them guidance throughout the tournament. I have been an avid fan of the Mortal Kombat video game series since 1994 to this day, and back in 1995 when news of the film was coming out, I was in eager anticipation. I didn't see it in the cinema, but rather when it came out on video, and I adored every second of it (being a fan). However, nearly 10 years have passed, and my tastes and opinions have slightly changed (I'm now 20: then 11), but not entirely for the worse. Today I can now see the flaws in the film. The script is simplistic and lacks depth, but the film's grace comes from the incredible martial arts fight scenes that we're witness to throughout the picture. This film is basic entertainment and doesn't pretend to be more than that. A decent film.

Score 7/10
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8/10
Very enjoyable black comedy horror flick
28 November 2004
Michael J. Fox plays Frank Bannister, a man who parades himself around his local town as a exorcist, dispersing ghosts in neighborhood homes. However, he's a conman, ripping people off so that he can maintain his already crummy lifestyle. But he can see ghosts though, and he has 3 of of them whom he has befriended and uses them for the cons he uses on people.

Its only when he starts seeing numbers appear on the heads of certain people that disturbing events begin to occur, as these particular people meet their demise at the hands of a ghost that's assuming the form of the Grim Reaper. And as Bannister is the only one who can see, hear and also predict who's next on the killer's list, its up to him and his spiritual friends to try and thwart this insane entity. Peter Jackson's 6th film was another one of his steps towards Hollywood fame and showcases what an exceptional Director he really is. Michael J. Fox gives a very credible performance as Frank Bannister, a man trying to cope with everyday normal life with the fact that he has a sixth sense no-one knows about. This film has many delights and laughs come in high numbers. ( especially from Jeffrey Combs as the mega-weirdo FBI agent Dammers) It will appeal to people outside of the horror genre and gain enough appeal to watch over and over again.

Score: 8/10
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