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SandmanX82
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The Mountain Men (1980)
HAHAHA...etc
HAHAHAHAHAHHA...and so forth. That is the primary reaction watching this spoof of a movie that wasn't intended to spoof anything at all. The biggest challenge in this film isn't finding beaver to trap and sell, it's watching the first forty five minutes without busting your guts all over the floor laughing! This movie was not intended to be comedical, (I don't think...) however, it proves to be funnier than any actual comedy.
Ok ok enough of the silliness, I will now try and explain and summarize this hahahaha movhahahie. The film starts out with Mr. Bill Tyler (Charlton Heston) meeting up with old friend Henry Frapp (Brian Keith) by way of Frapp knocking Tyler down into the water along with his horses...HAHAHAHA...oh ok sorry I lost it for a second there. They are both men of the mountain or "Mountain Men" trapping and selling their Ploos of Beaver to the highest bidder for cash money!!!! Obscenities fly through the air almost as much as random bodies and there is even a brief appearance by george of the jungle himself Brendan Frasier as the evil Indian. You need to see this guy he looks JUST like Brendan Frasier. The movie is filled to the max with memorable one liners, characters, and donkeys running off in random directions for NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!! HAHAHAHA!!! One theory about that part that I have is that there wasn't enough money to re-shoot the scene, the donkey wasn't supposed to run away but the budget was too tight to stop production so they captured it and worked it in thinking people would be all captivated!! It hooked me I'll tell you that much!! There are many memorable things that happen in this movie that I really can't give away. But please watch this movie, and when I say watch I really mean purchase and I'll give you two reasons. One, this movie is too funny to just rent, you will want to relive the experience over and over with all your friends and that will cost you a fortune. Two, I'm sure the creators of this movie aren't really pullin in too much moola for this heavyweight box office smash, help them pay rent, buy this flick.
Slam (1998)
Slam is excrement in the form of film and needs to be properly wiped and flushed FOREVER!!!
I cannot believe that all the people on this comment section are actually praising this grotesque piece of horrid cinema! Where do I start? What the hell was the plot of this movie? The main character, Raymond Joshua, is an amateur poet and drug dealer who gets sent to prail(prison and jail, which I'll talk about later) after making the moronic mistake of attempting to jump a fence instead of running away from the fifty year old "doo-wop" cops. He then gets in the patty wagon with arguably the best character of the movie, an unknown convict named Jimmy Huang or some sort of phallic name like that. He screams, yells, gets beaten, and earns the third credit in the film for his three seconds of brilliance. Mr. Joshua then meets with his la la la lawyer who is obviously smoking some of the drugs that our "star" was caught with. Comprehending what the hell the lawyer was saying is like "trying to throw a snowball into an elephants mouth at a hundred feet..." Now he is sent to jail, which for some reason is made out to be like a prison, "you might make it out of here...you might not." Dying for a quarter pound of weed seems a little excessive for a jail, however, if only that had happened the suffering could have turned to slight laughter with mild nausea. He meets another street pharmacist in "jail," the for some reason free roaming Hopha, who is aloud to have his cell door open, maybe he has appointments with some of the bigger prisoners for conjugal visits or something, they don't really explain that. Raymond then meets a disgusting woman teaching poetry (go figure) to the troubled murderers and rapists with artsy souls dying to get out. I'm not going to say any more, I wouldn't want to spoil the filth for you entirely. Let's just say this movie is wonderful. In the way that having a catheter and an enema at the exact same time your limbs are being sawed off one at a time with a piece of looseleaf paper is pleasant. Do yourself a favor and watch Breakin 2: Electric Boogaloo, the Mountain Men, and Slam, and then try not to kill yourself, I dare you.