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6/10
Creative but not funny
20 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Sure, funnier than the film although I agree deeply with the fans' claim "so bad it's art". And I'm not too surprised that this wasn't boring for a Worst Picture winner. But while there were some shocked giggles, the sense of humour Tom Green has for this film is incredibly stupid. As over-positive this film is, I'm not kidding. I'll just say what the standouts are: the constantly injured boy and the cartoon segments, also he got the right idea with putting pretty appropriate songs with getting inside animals. Not even thinking about the horse and elephant. More consistently entertaining than other modern comedies, for having a weird universe and visual language, but it's not that funny, or that bad neither.
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2/10
Bright becomes drab.
20 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This is a film that I've seen in a cinema, seen on Disney Cinemagic (!), ITV2 and then I've never heard from again for at least 5 years, yet I know it's the third worst film I've seen in cinemas (before Dragonball Evolution at No. 2 and The Hangover Part II at No. 1, even though there was a humiliating once upon a time when I laughed at transgender women's penises).

The first half is perfect and playful, they could have gone onto a childish but fun adventure and I'd be pretty entertained. But then, Dustin Hoffman, who has had quite a serious career, not very well known for family films at all, admits that he will die! (SURPRISE INDEED!) And all of the toys go berserk and die themselves. Then the film goes incredibly dull, by making the toy shop useless and... GREY! This is not the description of a good family film, not even if it's Wes Anderson quirky, and creepy, as an adult man does end up in a boy's bedroom.
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10/10
Ironic in a good way.
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
What have I learned from the first semester of my course? This type of film by Powell & Pressburger is better for entertainment value than trying to do a film studies essay out of it, especially when concerning Language & Style (never again!), although this film would have been better than Peeping Tom which I chosen as I ended up details as small as pencils dropping from a height which wasn't worth it, and Black Narcissus, which I didn't choose as I felt too confused by the plot, so much so that I didn't use it as research for the final essay. Long sentences was another one of those reasons I failed by the way. Ah well! A nice film for a lazy day, with a brilliant ironically used aesthetic (B&W used in heaven) and charming actors and script. The court scene did drag a bit until the very end but moving it a bit but a lot of the film is pretty much flawless. As much as I could accidentally be considered a communist, as I prefer the Directors Cut ending of Little Shop of Horrors (1986), I'm glad that there was a happy ending, which would have been much needed after the end of the war, also he would have survived in a "miracle", hence why he's alive even though he must got injured, if not found until later. Nicely done, chaps!
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6/10
Sexy yet fluffy
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Pretty interesting dive into the life and career of Bettie Page. Even though I'm gay myself, I think she is one of my favourite people from the 50s, and I am just as saddened that she has had mental health issues in the past, if not famous for memory, but not now. But religion overshadows any mental health issues in this film. Of course, I understand that she was born again, and I'll admit there are lots of films that focus more on other people's mental health that would be more helpful, (this film does focus on the photo shoots and the controversy surrounding her S&M films) but you CANNOT just end a film without her fame haunting her afterwards. I think it should be impossible to ignore completely, even if brief, but surprisingly, this HBO film doesn't seem to have any acknowledgement of what happened or even the state of her at the time. Somehow charming and sexy in showcasing her beauty and the range of the work she was in, but way way too fluffy to appreciate as a successful adaptation. Deary me!
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9/10
Very sexually powered nuclear war tragicomedy
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
The side wanting peace and the side wanting war meets. Not really something we're not used to, but when it comes to attention to little details, such as two conflictingly subjected songs on the plane, it's quite clever of Stanley Kubrick. It might be the most sexual situations dropped into a war film, without becoming a Carry On film that was filmed at the same studio. I doubt Carry On has ever planned a film about nuclear bombs compared to space travel. Thank Peter Sellers for his experience from Goon Show? Overall, this film has some huge giggles, mainly involving some absurd situations. But even with the iconic and absurd shot of a pilot falling on a nuclear bomb, the drama therefore overshadows in a good way. Maybe the pie fight would have cheered up the drama, but that wasn't needed anyway.

Oh and how appropriate to include "We'll Meet Again" to stock footage of nuclear bombings.

This review is not dedicated to those funding Trident. Stuff you!
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10/10
Better than a recent film.
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Originally reviewed on Letterboxd on 14th August 2016.

AT LONG LAST. WATCHING THE DIRECTOR'S CUT AS EVERYBODY SHOULD AS WELL.

An wonderful musical with a wonderful cast. And it feels so much more emotional and complete with the original ending. There's need to be pain in this musical and the alternate ending feels so much forced. Proves the general public is scared and is also scared of real emotion in films like Suicide Squad although we don't know for certain if deleted scenes will make that stupid film better. Thing is though, the filmmakers were so lucky that there got very positive reviews from critics (90% on RT) even though there was always the risk of huge audiences watching the original musical and saying that the original ending was better. But the thing with either the original ending or the alternative, it was funny and emotional, the cast was great, no matter which version you've watched although the original ending will always stand superior in its lengthy finale and its creativity. Ellen Greene, I'll only love your Audrey.
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Finding Dory (2016)
9/10
So so much better.
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Let me tell you a story about Finding Nemo. It's pretty overrated, even to the point when I hated it after multiple plays of the film, because I couldn't stay repeating the film again and again. I wrote an angry IMDb review, rating it 1/10 (0.5/5), saying that the film was more boring than Plan 9 from Outer Space. I deleted it about a year or two ago. I've now given it 3 1/2 stars, as I appreciate it a bit more.

But this film is way way way better than Finding Nemo, which doesn't surprise as Dory was the standout of Finding Dory. What felt like a slow journey in the sea and an endless scene set in a fish tank was what made me think was overrated. Dory finding Dory was slightly obvious but the story is well presented and told. The fast paced scenes gives the film an extra sense of humour. Fish jumping from one tank to another might be very unrealistic but it sure is fun. Although the actor for Nemo wasn't changed from an child to an adult, the chemistry between Marlin and Nemo is bloody brilliant and was at times unexpectedly funny.

While I didn't break into tears, like I did with Inside Out, it would be no surprise if the emotion hits other people. Both happy and sad.

The ending though. How have they survived a year?!?
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Suicide Squad (2016)
2/10
Not enough comedy, not enough action, plenty of sappy scenes.
17 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Oh god! What a total mess. Excuse me if I'm a comic book expert but my boyfriend is, and he noticed way more flaws I have although I've noticed just as many. The editing was a mess. I kept reading that quote over and over in other people's reviews and it's messy enough for me to compare to Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance.

But it's not just the editing. The film is a rubbish tip. The plot, the number of characters and the amount of time given to those characters. Feels like basically everything. Not even Will Smith's Deadshot or Margot Robbie's Harley Quinn gets enough screen time, with not much acknowledgement at all for Jared Leto's Joker, who I felt was a mishmosh of all of the past Jokers, Heath Ledger being the (way too) closest to influencing Jared. Shame. But the main issue is that with no proper back stories, they just throw in a lot of these characters and even then, we don't see enough comedy, we don't see enough action, instead most of the time the film is sappy. Even a Batman Begins reference is included. Sappier than The Notorious Bettie Page.

The finale and the villains' villains are lacklustre. Mind you they would have been better as the ghosts of Ghostbusters. I believed it might have been the ghosts that the Ghostbusters would actually catch. The villain are easy to kill anyway and I could easily photoshop this finale for the Ghostbusters to be in Suicide Squad's place. Would have been higher than the 3 1/2 stars that I gave it. All it needs now is more actual jokes like Mike and Dave Needs Wedding Dates does, a proper script like any 80s comedy and the original Ghostbusters.

This review might as uneven as the film itself, but the last target I want to attack is: the music!!! Queen!!! Suicide Squad trailer!!! That was fantastic. What we did get? Gun scene??? Kanye West??? AGAIN!?! Nope. This soundtrack feels like the 2010s version of Blue Brothers 2000. You know. Random scenes happen then people stay singing. Not quite the same with this but with the random songs and Bohemian Rhapsody saved for the end, I'm still very disappointed.

The few good things: Even with Margot Robbie's Harley, her lines aren't perfect. We need more fecking comedian-writers if you want to beat Deadpool or even Tank Girl. Dare I say Lori Petty's current project OINTB? If that does ever happen, Mr Warner, I would want a spin-off of Harley Quinn, with proper back story, good justice and the most familiar character traits. My boyfriend disagrees with the fact that she is forced to eat in the prison. But I agree with Killer Croc that he is beautiful. EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL!

Mais encore, le film est un désordre total.

And another thing, well, it's more like a wish. But thanks to Mike and Jay from RedLetterMedia as per usual for pointing out things I haven't noticed before, in order to write this update. They've done a update coincidentally. But indeed, the first ten minutes is basically a whole other film. I could easily enjoy whole flashbacks, even in a separate film. So I conclude that this film can't just be fixed by a Director's Cut, there will need to be a Part 1 and Part 2. And while you're at it, remove those disgraceful, random uses of pop songs.

You know, Little Shop of Horrors wasn't always rated 5/5, especially before the Director's Cut came in.
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Maleficent (2014)
3/10
Complete lack of darkness
31 May 2014
Warning: Spoilers
I am very mixed about this film. Firstly, as many critics have singled out, I must praise Angelica's acting, mainly as the first good, then evil Maleficent. Now, while I could feel a little sorry for her being unable to bring this curse off Aurora, having to see, one of my best villains, Maleficent turn back into good is just unnatural. It ends up looking like a beloved Disney film that has been changed for the sake of young girls, who is only a little part of the audience, avoiding simple but effective scares and risks, basically throwing out what many Disney fans remember about Sleeping Beauty. Parts of the film echoes parts of Wicked and Frozen. Of course, most people don't rush into romantic relationships but seeing Disney seemingly apologise for making traditional relationships in past films happen, even though this is what happened in the era the film is set, is just horrid. I mean no offence to Frozen at all, since it is one of my most favourite Disney films of all time. But stealing the concept of real "true love" from Frozen is pathetic. If it wasn't for Disney with its stupid audience research, it could have easily looked even further into the darkness of Maleficent, which is almost no such thing in this film.
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1/10
Not bad, but not very detailed at all, history-wise
11 March 2012
I first saw this on a late night showing on 4Music in the UK and it's not bad but it's not very detailed.

I think the film should have more about the history of his show, as nowadays this history is very hidden and overshadowed by the latest album, although it did show a long-time employee (Chris Willis). However, there were mentions of the gay club he worked at, what music was there, but just mentions. Perhaps this should have been almost like ABBA: The Movie with parts of the tour, a script, a historical part to the movie. But no, it was a cut-down preview to the album that should have a lot more detail. We want to be fascinated by his history. Listening to the current music is another thing we can do later. The film might as well cover other DJs. Perhaps there should be another film about the history of DJs rather than a cut-down film about just one. Plus, a whole hour is not enough, probably the director's hard drive isn't large enough. Hopefully, there will be a film about DJs I will be very interested in. You are recommended to watch it but is more of a promo than a biography so be careful.
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ZZZap! (1993–2001)
10/10
And the most addictive series from your childhood you watch on YouTube goes to...
10 March 2012
Warning: Spoilers
... ZZZap! It's obviously a good reminder that children's television was better than nowadays.

In this show, ZZZap! is not based around talking but silent sketches with sound effects and voices done mostly by Neil Buchanan, later done by the actors themselves when Smarty Arty (same person) left.

The characters: Cuthbert Lilly, the main character played by Richard Waites. He is Mr. Bean-like but goes into sillier situations such as destroying antiques, trying to get some, (literally) frozen ice cream out and posting flowers (complete with the flower pot) for a birthday.

Smarty Arty, as I said played by Neil Buchanan. An artist who draws things that come to life. Similar to Penny Crayon but like Cuthbert Lilly with sillier situations.

Minnie the Mini Magician, the replacement played by Doctor Who alumni Sophie Aldred. Unfortunately, the most disliked of all of the characters. A magician in training who practises with stuff and try to solve her mistakes.

The Handymen, a pair of blue and yellow hands who appear in an educational segment with recipes, magic tricks and arts and crafts.

Tricky Dicky, also played by Richard Waites. A man in a disguise who investigates if a group of kids (as well as adults) who win a challenge which is harder compared to a smaller version. If they win, he holds a sign Mission Possible, if they don't, Mission Impossible

Daisy Dares, played by Deborah McCallum, later by Claire Macaulay. A replacement for Tricky Dicky but in a female form and has a tantrum or a laugh instead of holding a sign.

Now, about the final few series. The first 5 series are perfect. But I have other reasons why I didn't like the final 5 as much. The sound effects started to go downhill. I think the voices changed too much, particularly to Daisy Dares. And the splodges sounded less like gunge and more like well, you don't want to know. Minnie wasn't bad at all! But the worst thing on the final 3 series was the animation. Where did the remote go? The loss of the sparks in the animation to be replaced with a explosion made the word ZZZap! a little more difficult to understand.

But other than that, it was a fantastic show overall and now I'm addicted to it on YouTube. Feels great watching it on YouTube, usually when I'm bored to pieces with TV one night. So, to any kids out there, don't go to the current Kids' TV! It's just full of American imports set in talent schools (see Victorious), features overacting, auto-tuned guys who work with a real idiot who only supports commercial music (see Big Time Rush) and people just jump into music, even if they don't want to (see The Entire Disney Channel). The British stuff hasn't been the same without gunge and more recently creamy muck muck with Dick and Dom. 90s/00s kids TV rules and will always rule!
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