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Swing Low (2019)
Clever
Surprised by the low ratings-thought is was very clever. Lead is bad ass. Watch the entire end credits.
M.I.A. A Greater Evil (2018)
You're better off MIA than watching this movie
Watch Rambo instead. This bad infomercial for the Vietnam war is 100% missing all action. Seriously horrible.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)
Metrosexual Kung fu Jesus defends the Lesbians
That about sums it up. Gratuitous Jesus ninja fight montages. Quite a few quoteable lines. For example:
"You're gettin' all the Koolaid and you don't even know the flava."
Also, Jesus' mom is a dollar tree nightlight. Watch it.
Freaky (2020)
If Hallmark and Lionsgate had a baby.
If Hallmark and Lionsgate had a baby it would be this movie. It creates a new genre--"feel-good horror". Teenage girl Vince Vaughn puts Lindsey Lohan to shame. Excellent musical score.
Llamageddon (2015)
Llamageddon you 10 stars.
"Alpaca bowl and watch this movie over and over again. "-MZ
If you don't watch this movie, you're missing out on a life experience. It has everything you could ever wish for.
A Killer Rising (2020)
Zero Stars.
Unwatchable. 20 minute of my life I can never get back.
The Lake on Clinton Road (2015)
That one scene
Legend says that Jimmy actually holds world record for fastest Olympic dive. Nah, but he's actually a naked man-frog. Watch this movie only for the one scene. All my two stars go straight to Jimbo.
-M&J