Change Your Image
llVIU
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Bullet Train Down (2022)
100$ budget on this youtube video?
Okay, a narrative about something something a train, and forgive me if this is a spoiler, but... they die if the train stops. Not ground breaking, kinda boring actually... but what is the deal with the budget in this "movie"? It feels like a cheap group youtube video, the actors are so bad, the props are so bad, everything feels so cheap. Especially the writing. 30 minutes in and I couldn't take it anymore, there wasn't a SINGLE line of dialogue that was funny, interesting or clever in any way at at all, it was just dead text on a paper. And some "WTF" moments that make absolutely no sense at all like rocks randomly flying into the train for no reason at all. How? Why? What? Loud bomb noises in the back of the train "uh what was that noise, was it a bomb?" idiot kid says "BOMB????" why are these people so dumb. Then some other guy says "it's ok, the train would stop if there was something bad" oh you mean apart from a window shattering and a loud bomb explosion and train shaking, or the person in front of you bleeding, yeah everything is perfectly fine. I just want to grab these people and strangle them for being so dumb. And the dialogues are so unnatural too. Even the premise is unnatural, people acting all amazed at a train going 200 mph.... woohoo... who cares. Go in europe or asia if you wanna go on a fast train. Ok maybe not europe. Really, a plane can go way faster and fly but you don't see people being amazed at that (anymore) at least not for the last 50-100 years. It's just a train, calm down.
I will give it credit for a scene where a person gets strangled and they actually struggle instead of just immediately dying without any problems. I can't give it 1 star since i didn't see any blatant sexism/racism/etc... at least not yet, i quit after 30 minutes.
But hey maybe the "movie" works if you wanna get down with your friends and watch a laughingly bad movie and make fun of it. How many bad things can you spot?
Seinfeld (1989)
Comedy about 4 horrible people
The show focuses on 4 people, Jerry Seinfeld, Kramer, George and Ellaine and shows their flaws in many ways, often unrealistic. But the people around them also seem very terrible as well. The place takes place in New York almost entirely, so it portrays a very bad (but rightful) image of that place.
What are their flaws? Here's some that I found:
All 4 of them yell, scream and overreact out of any miniscule thing, and generally act like little immature emotional children. Maybe the writers thought loud=funny? It would explain the generic laughing audience. They endorse bribery, theft, vandalism, list is way too long.
Kramer is EXTREMELY clumsy, filthy, has no situational awareness and is far too blunt, far in the realm of inconsiderate.
Jerry, George and Ellaine are GIGANTIC liars even between themselves despite being very close friends. But stabbing each other in the back/throwing each other under the boss is a daily routine to them. Not lying seems to be rude to them, for example if someone gets criticized (an honest opinion such as not liking a show) people get offended and call it rude. Similar to some english and japanese culture. People talk behind each other backs while getting angry if someone does it to them. Hypocrites.
They also almost always have no backbone to stand up for anything. They usually would rather avoid any sort of confrontation... either that, or make a huge deal out of nothing, even get violent. George and especially Ellaine.
As the show implies, instead of being about a group of 4 backstabbing friends, it revolves about Jerry Seinfeld. Once you scratch the surface, you can clearly see his extreme vanity, almost always showing us how he has so much money, is so giving to others, so funny and charming and most of all, how easily he gets beautiful women... BUT if a woman leaves, it's either because the woman got dumped because of some petty reason "because jerry can just do that" OR the woman is crazy. Because... of course... only a crazy woman would dump the macho alpha chad womanizer jerry seinfeld. This writing seems to be passed on to some extent to george, who is a fat hairy balding man usually without a job, lazy, who screams and overreacts from anything and is generally extremely dumb and entitled. Yet somehow he constantly manages to get beautiful women to throw themselves at him.
The jokes are usually decent, but sometimes pretty terrible. Sometimes you find yourself sitting through the rambling of a person who tells an entire story and think to yourself.... "why not just show the whole story instead of telling it?" This is a tv show not a book, I'm not here to read. Show, don't tell.
The show is also filled with first world problems. And one baffling thing is how do george and kramer manage to live in new york city while being unemployed.
You have to overlook the incredibly low intelligence of people and the extremely immature attitude, otherwise you probably won't be able to enjoy it. 3 good jokes and 2 bad ones... ignore the bad ones, enjoy the good ones.
Kateo (2022)
Action packed
This is the very definition of "action packed" and with the next generation of special effects and camerawork, it really puts hollywood to shame. There's enough of it to fill 10 action movies. Story on the other hand... eh, I didn't care much, typical guy who kills hundreds of bad guys and never dies no matter what, muh family, muh children, whatever. It does have some plot twists though and makes you wonder who's the bad guy and who's the good guy. Still better than hollywood.
Prey (2022)
decent
I started watching this movie without seeing any of the trailer, poster, etc. And I am so glad because it really took me by surprised when I was wondering mid-way if it's a predator movie. These idiots should really stop spoiling movies. If I said something about the first 5 minutes, that's not a spoiler. If I say something mysterious that happens mid-way and is the whole deal of the movie, that's a spoiler.
Anyway... it happens on native american land so... not my personal cup of cake, but still a decent predator movie. The problem is... it's *just* a predator movie, it doesn't try to be anything more or go outside the comfort zone. It's ok, doesn't disappoint but doesn't impress either.
Hitsuji to ôkami no koi to satsujin (2019)
simp ultralord vs crazy woman
I would mark this as containing spoilers but the trailer and imdb synopsis says this sort of info...
Story is about an ultra loser simp lord who falls in """""love"""" hint: his teenage penis says that a lady is attractive and he gave him some little attention. Now, since he is a loser without a job, friends, family, anyone, even the smallest gesture of friendliness makes him fall in love. This might sound crazy but it's actually EXTREMELY common among boys and men.
As for the girl/woman, she has mental problems, just like most women. Real problems... huge problems... she is a serial killer.
The guy falls in "love" with her... for her looks or per personality? Well he implies her personality... but what IS her personality? We only get 2 traits about her: she is friendly to him, she is pretty, a loner like him, she threatens to kill him and she is a serial killer.
It's pretty obvious. He is a loser who doesn't care about dying, in fact he tried to kill himself at the start of the movie. And he absolutely does NOT accept the fact that she is a serial killer... this narrows it down.
So do you think that a pretty lady who is a loner and is friendly to a guy would have a hard time finding a guy? What if you added the "serial killer" part? She would've wanted a guy who accepts her, not who wants to change her. He SAYS (lies) that he loves her for who she is but doesn't accept her main passion. He's just desperate, he knows he can't get another girl because he's a loser.
This situation, as shown in the movie, sounds absurd, but if you take the serial killer part, it's extremely common. The guy wouldn't "love" her, he's just desperate and would "put up" with her passion. The girl knows she'll never find someone who accepts her for who she is, so she "settles" for this guy who "puts up" with her.
This kind of relationship is doomed. Absolutely toxic and they're not truly happy with each other, but they're teenage loners who refuse to grow up and learn anything. In fact this is the main reason I give it 3/10. The plot is pretty original... but the characters act like such absolute cringy idiots. Then again, there wouldn't be a plot at all if they had a double digit IQ. It makes it look remarkably similar to some weeb fantasy, despite not being an anime.
Game of Thrones (2011)
so much talking
95% of this tv show is talking, the rest is sword fighting or archery. If you don't pay attention, remember the characters or the story, you won't understand or care. There is a lot of superficial eyecandy, but that's not the heart of the show. It's the talking.
It also tries to needlessly be super edgy by showing you a lot of very explicit needless nudity and gore. Comes across as a cheap shock factor after the 10th time and especially the 100th. Makes it awkward to watch with the family. Some of these scenes are dragged on for too long but fortunately they are somewhat few and far in-between.
The show follows several narratives of many characters and their lives. Most of them are quite hateful, you'd love to seem them die in horrible deaths. And most do. There's some who don't deserve death but die, some who deserve death but don't die, and anything in-between... the plot-armor seems minimized but it's still there. People act a lot more realistic and actually have a risk of death. And it has little to no "good guys always win" cliche.
It certainly strays out of the comfort zone of cliche stories. But tries too much to be edgy. How many times are we gonna see the same gore and nudity?
Nightcrawler (2014)
Breath of fresh air
I don't think this counts as a spoiler since it's clearly, indirectly shown from the start, but you're watching a movie about a sociopath/psychopath, trying to see/understand him, and it's a very good story with very good spins. There's no good guy/bad guy/good guys win in the end etc nonsense, no cliche stuff like that. Pretty standard movie, feels a bit short but shouldn't have been a minute longer either, I wouldn't change it.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
hard to rate...
Tl;dr only watch after you freshly binged all breaking bad episodes OR if you're a big fan of the show. Otherwise you'll be very confused.
Well it certainly isn't written the same as breaking bad... you can tell there's a different director/writer here, I don't have to check. It's more like a nostalgic after thought movie, it feels a bit forced and tries to cram as many nostalgic characters as possible. People who used to be in breaking bad. Feels a tiny bit forced but still completely ok. It keeps going back and forth in time with no indication so you have to be a hardcore fan to be able to understand what's going on, or at least someone who just freshly binged all the breaking bad episodes recently, which is quite a lot to ask for. This movie is for the big fans who wanted "just one more hit bruh..." It's decent, but not the same as the series.
The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)
trashy
-typical holywood sound editing... one second people whisper, can't hear anything, next second they scream like typical americans and I have to turn the volume down. Irritating.
-full of unlikable people. Gold diggers, objectifies women prostitutes, violent loud dumb greedy men, it just shows typical negative sexist stereotypes. I'm surprised it's not racist as well. Even includes the typical scene with the guy raping his wife, wife having the typical privilege of being able to initiate the divorce simply because she feels like it AND take the kids, while the guy throws a childish tantrum, imidiatly screams, hits her multiple times, does drugs and... I don't even know how to describe the rest
-overall trashy movie. Sometimes it's supposed to be a comedy movie I think? But it fails. It's just sad.
-fbi not being corrupt, what? Fbi doing their job and tracking down some brooker bad guys... WHAT? Mate... the government bailed out banks using tax payer money, what planet do these idiots live on? Banks can print out money out of thin air, brookers and banks are like twin sisters. FBI protect these guys, they don't go after them. Common knowledge
-if you wanna lose friends, you can start arguments over this movie. You have to have less than 80 IQ to be able to enjoy this movie. Or maybe half as drunk as the alcoholics in it.
-hurr durr naked women. Am I supposed to be impressed? Porn is free. And the movie does this multiple times. Awkward when you watch it with the wrong people.
John Wick (2014)
bland
As bland as any other action movie with people shooting at each other
Justice League vs. Teen Titans (2016)
Unbelievably uninspired
What a cliche movie! For the 10000th time:
-superman goes bad and immediately gets defeated with kryptonite. TWICE in this movie
-lame excuse to have justice league fight the teen titans, and the movie isn't even about this fight at all!!! It's about...
-yet another generic demon trying to take over/destroy the world, yawn...
-same old ''oh no the world is getting destroyed'' but ''everything works out in the end with a happy ending!''
-an extremely cringy out of place montage of americans going to an american fare, with the lamest uninspired repetitive song ''u make me crazy'' (repeated 100000x times, no other lyrics in the song) and don't worry, it's long as hell
-damian being the edgelord uptight rude unlikable dumbass as usual
Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay (2018)
masterpiece compared to other dc/marvel stuff
Other movies/cartoons from dc/marvel... what do they all have in common? Super strong main heroes, same old overpowered villain, they defeat him, everything ends well, all the heroes survive, and the villains get defeated. Same old.
But this is totally different:
-nobody is overpowered, they're far weaker than even batman (not taking into account batman's intellect or money), in fact they're even dirt poor but they still try to stick together
-not a 2 sided battle. It's a 3 sided battle, a complex one with internal struggles. There's no ''good vs bad''. It's all relative, it makes you think
-characters have depth, some more than others, all in just 1 hour.
-there's no ''ohhh it's batman/superman so you KNOW they'll survive by the end of the movie''. No, anyone can die here. Who knows?
-there's no ''need strong power, need strong punch, need strong kick, me kick bad guy, me win'' mentality here (I'm looking at you, superman). And even the main goal is a bit vague, maybe the ''card'' works, maybe not, who knows.
-I personally like to think that the whole movie never actually happened. What if it was all a figment of zoom's (yellow bad flash guy) imagination? He imagined it all in a split second before he died. The one thing that flashed before his eyes... he regretted his life, he wanted to go to heaven.
-there's no main character here. Anything goes. There's no superman to do absolutely everything for everyone and everyone around here is just for the main character. Did I mention I hate bland cliche braindead superman stuff?
-doesn't shy away from violence or people getting killed. Meanwhile in the normal justice league cartoons, superman gets crushed by a 10x10 meter sphere (the one on daily planet), you see the whole building explode floor by floor from top to bottom and I'll be damned, nobody ever dies. WTF? Ridiculous.
Feels like a breath of fresh air.
Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox (2013)
Finally a breath of fresh air (at least for me)
I haven't seen all the comics/cartoons, which I'm sure there's some that are as mature as this movie (people dying etc) but compared to most marvel/dc stuff out there, this is finally a breath of fresh air. Characters appearing, some surviving, some not, some make a difference, some don't. You won't know what happens next and it kinda does end with ''everything ends well'' but for the most part, that's not what it felt like.
And the characters, at least some, had some depth, and we didn't get the ''the good guys are always good no matter what''... I don't wanna spoil too much but it's totally worth watching. And there's another similar one, suicide squad or something. It's related to this one, go check it out.
Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987)
Really had the impression that the characters were smart. Turns out they aren't
How many episodes are there, where the entire crew nearly dies because they do not have a proper contamination procedure. They go out, catch a virus and spread it. Even Data (the android) got it once, affected his ''brain'', and was never explained how he had it. People generally aren't too bright and don't catch onto strange behaviours. The prime directive is idiotic. And sometimes they come up with nice alien costumes... sometimes they put ZERO effort. ''Oh look, an alien species, they look 100% identical to us and even speak perfect american english. Even their culture is nearly identical... except for this ONE single quirk that makes no sense and every single one of them has''. Yes because us white people are the same, us black people all love watermelon, us asians are all good at math etc.
Sometimes good... sometimes just outright boring. It's ''ok''. And they did well considering the number of episodes they put out. It certainly beats ANY regular tv show with ZERO effort that just shows the regular life of regular people... well, ALMOST any of them (seinfeld...)
Meikyû monogatari (1987)
if it's 3 separate stories, why not divide them?
I guess the writers knew from the start that any one story cannot hold on its own, so they thought that putting them together would help... it doesn't. It makes it seem so out of place and irrelevant. Makes no sense.
The English Patient (1996)
terrible
-full nudity scenes, 100% not needed. Realy, what the hell was the director thinking?
-makes cheating look ok. It's not ok
-Another english propaganda story. This time they give the false idea that english people don't discriminate. Oh, they do.
-worst make-up I have ever seen (on the patient)
The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2011)
yet another english propaganda film
This time they attempt to insult indians in india. Quite disgusting and pathetic.
Aala Kaf Ifrit (2017)
good ''horror'' film, realistic, about woman being abused
I saw most of it on TV. It's about the struggles of a woman who was abused one night and tries to get justice, but shows how corrupt the system is. And how frightening it is, especially in a poor 3rd world country. It lacks the feminist propaganda nonsense, and it's quite realistic in my opinion. Definitely a must watch for young girls who don't value their own safety and go alone during the night, thinking that nothing can happen to them. And there's TONS of such girls.
I hope I didn't give out too much spoiler/information about the movie
American horror movies are 1/10 crap compared to this. They're worthless.
Mission: Impossible (1996)
Cliche and insults my intelligence
Cliche plot about secret agent double crossed then comes back to catch him, but movie was made in 1996 so maybe it wasn't as cliche back then? Well it is 2019 and it is today.
The really lame part was near the end they actually had a helicopter fly through a tunnel while chasing a high speed train. Please don't insult our intelligence. Such sci-fi things don't fit in this movie.
I'm having trouble trying to find anything good that stood out in this movie... I guess the music that we all are familiar with?
Risen (2016)
We do not need this kind of movie
We really do not need this kind of movie. Religion propaganda that claims to be true, peaceful, helps people but conveniently leaves out the mountains of bad deeds that it has done. Completely biased and one sided. It even tries to paint the romans as being evil. Are you kidding me? They did bad things just like everyone else but they were the founders of European civilisation. Can't say the same for Christianity.
The Contract (2006)
50/50
Pros:
-potentially good plot and twists
-morgan freeman's acting is good but not great
-the annoying characters kinda get their ass kicked. And also they're not that annoying (i.e. mothers with screaming children, getting all emotional but leaning a little bit towards there)
cons:
-they had a problem with the sound so they overlayed a LOT of the voice acting/sound. So it just sounds like bad quality and unnatural/out of place
-mediocre acting
-TONS of plot holes/bad decisions
I'm 50/50 on this...
Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000)
Yet another braindead action movies
It can be a bland stupid movie cliche OR a good action movie depending on your own preference.
Includes awkward needless sex scene, men with huge egos, overrated angelina jolie. Horrible values shown, the protagonist is a huge criminal car thief. Cop chases... whatever.
This movie is perfect for either young teenage boys or fathers who just want to come home from work and watch a relaxing braindead movie.
Nothing out of the ordinary
Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show (2009)
Yet another disappointing movie adaptation
This is yet another example that a company wanted to make a movie, and the big bosses thought that they need to throw lots of money in order to make it good. Overblown action sequences, over the top, everyone is shouting in my ears 24/7, moving around, having way too much energy, being violent and destroying anything that they touch (they put superman/hulk to shame with their superpowers) stuff moving around everywhere and it completely lacks the humor, originality, clever things and subliminal messages. It appeals to a very young audience of little kids with no brains and too much energy, unlike the original show that was more for middle age kids but could also be enjoyed by older audience. To give you numbers, 8-16 year olds for the tv show, but 4-10 year olds for the movie adaptation.
Prisoners (2013)
A movie about finding kidnapped children...
I think the movie is OK at showing how desperate the situation gets, when parents and the police just search and search and search... and search... and search some more, and still cannot find any useful clues to the wereabouts of the missing kids. It gives the sense of hopelessness, of being lost and not knowing what to do. Shows how frustrated people can get. I don't want to spoil it too much, my rating says it clearly... it's an OK movie.
The Filthy Frank Show (2011)
Uncle Frank is a genius
He doesn't ask for your money like the rest of the scumbag directors. He makes content for free. He's original and funny, he broke new boundries in comedy that makes jim carrey look like a tryhard ant. Oh, and jim carrey didn't write his own stuff. Uncle Frank did. Jackass have their limits, you know what to expect, it's mainly violence... just people getting hit. But uncle Frank brakes even THOSE boundries... you really don't know what to expect. And if that's not enough, he even has some good insightful topics that he talks about, and makes good points.
Unfortunately, last time I heard... he had brain cancer. Hope he's alright.