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The Summer of Massacre (2012)
Possibly The Worst Film I Have Ever Seen
Without exaggeration, this is quite possibly the WORST film I have EVER seen in my entire life. I want whomever may be reading this to take a moment to let that really sink in. I have easily seen thousands,(if not hundreds of thousands) of films in my life, and this one actually manages to be the worst. First of all, there is no plot to speak of, just a bunch of random murder going on... and these murders - again no exaggeration - are done with the absolute worst CGI I have ever had the displeasure of seeing. I have seriously seen children who did better CGI effects on free software for zero-budget Star Trek fan films. Hell, a child could do better than this on Windows 95 with Paintbrush.
The simple fact that this film holds a world record for anything other than biggest waste of my time as a viewer is frankly disgusting. I know there are some movies out there that you'll read a bad review for and be like "oh, I bet this is so bad it's good or at least kind of funny", but I assure you, it's not. It's a miracle in that it has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
Honeyspider (2014)
Official Review from Nerd Nation Magazine
Saturday, October 18th marked the official world premiere of something that had been on my radar for some time. HONEYSPIDER, the first full-length horror feature by North Carolina filmmaker/writer Kenny Caperton alongside director Josh Hasty, held its first official showing at the historic Gem Theatre in Kannapolis, NC. Built in 1936, destroyed by fire in 1942, and fully restored in 1948, The Gem Theatre is one of the most iconic theatres in the Carolinas, as well as one of the oldest continuously running theatres in the United States today. Needless to say, The Gem has a certain "Old World" charm and arguable level of beautiful creepiness that was so appropriate for a horror film's premiere in the spookiest of seasons.
Over the past several years, Caperton has become something of a fixture in the horror community, gaining much-deserved notoriety for building The Myers House: NC – a life-size scale replica of the infamous Michael Myers house from John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN franchise, which is not only his personal love-letter to his favorite genre/film, but also his own private residence. While the house has been featured in several films already, including Caperton's own Halloween-inspired fan-film prequel: 2010's JUDITH: THE NIGHT SHE STAYED HOME, this was Caperton's first attempt at writing an original feature-length horror.
Set in the late 1980s, HONEYSPIDER tells the story of Jackie Blue (Mariah Brown), a college student about to celebrate her 21st birthday, which just so happens to also be Halloween. Trying to keep her grades up, struggling with divorced and rather disconnected parents, and a rather creepy professor, Professor Lynch (played by Frank Aard) who seems to have more than a little personal interest, Jackie seems intent on just keeping her head down and trying to get by, holding a job at the local movie theatre (the location of which provided by The Gem itself) where she takes time to study between customers.
As Halloween (and of course, her birthday) approaches, Jackie begins to hallucinate, seeing tarantulas nearly everywhere she goes, and receives a mysterious ring as a birthday gift. When Jackie goes to work at the theatre for the big Halloween spookshow of "Sleepover Slaughterhouse Part III" (a film within the film) we're treated to some good old-fashioned slasher action, courtesy of a mysterious masked killer, who of course has his sights set on Jackie, culminating in a bizarre cult ritual.
Who is the mysterious killer? Why are he and the cult targeting Jackie? Will she survive? What happens next? At least some of these questions will be answered, but certainly not all, and that's part of why I enjoyed this film so much. While the cult gives the audience just enough to get the gist of things, they never actually explain anything, focusing instead on their own reasons. This was so important to me because too many films these days tend to just give everything away. I mean, why would they explain anything? They know why they do what they do, but what kind of cult and/or killer would really, actually bother to explain why? I found this to be quite pleasing story-wise.
Another thing I particularly appreciated was the authenticity of "Sleepover Slaughterhouse Part III" – the little film within the film, which not only captured the look, feel, and overall campiness of your typical 80s slasher flick, but also featured actual 80s title/credit fonts (that may or may not have been obviously inspired by another certain Part III of a slasher franchise), sound, and presentation of such a film that if I didn't know better, I'd be sure I could go find on VHS rotting away on some old video store shelf somewhere.
About my only real gripe with the film, come with the sound department, whose audio came off as a bit uneven throughout the film, which could be easily fixed with a quick trip back to the mixing boards, but likely will stay as the one shining flaw in the production. I could argue that the final sequence was a bit drawn out, and could use a slight (and I do mean slight) runtime cut, but that's such a minor thing, that even as I write this review, I don't really see that as something that actually needs fixing that bad.
Overall, HONEYSPIDER is a wonderful homage to 80s horror cinema, never taking itself too seriously, while refusing to dip into that dreaded (and quite frankly lazy) slippery slope of "horror-comedy" that so many independent horror films fall back on way too often. Hasty does a superb job of directing and bringing Caperton's story to life with excellent camera work, and the cast does an excellent job of delivering a natural, believable performance that is only strengthened by the fact that they all look like actual, real people as opposed to "Hollywood" types. There are obvious nods to Rob Zombie's THE LORDS OF SALEM with the symbolism and perhaps even some of the styling, and of course The Smashing Pumpkins with the title, but not nearly enough to be any sort of rip-off.
This is an original, innovative, and refreshing take on the horror genre that pays its respects to the past while ambitiously looking forward to the future. Not bad for a debut effort, and we can only hope this is a sign of many more great things to come.
A Beginner's Guide to Endings (2010)
Its like Quentin Tarantino directed a pitch-dark comedy!
As with any good film, it's always important to start things off the right way in order to spark your viewer's interest. How funny that a film entitled "A Beginner's Guide To Endings" absolutely mastered the art of an opening scene. The striking image of Oscar-Nominee Harvey Keitel walking through a brightly lit carnival at night with a noose around his neck immediately hooked my interest in this movie. When Harvey Keitel started speaking, his voice over setting the movie's tone, it just pulled me in even further. "The events leading up to my death were a lot like the rest of my life," Keitel says. "Things didn't go exactly as planned."
Keitel, playing Duke White, sets up the scene quickly, talking about all of the regrets in his life and introducing the few things he doesn't regret: bringing his five great boys into the world. Three of the boys are now adults and are introduced along with the rest of Duke's family via a nicely crafted "family scrapbook" sequence. Between Keitel's opening sequences and the animated credit sequence that immediately followed, I fell in love with this movie about five minutes in.
The main storyline begins in a local church, where his brother (J.K. Simmons of "Spiderman" and "Juno" fame) is the priest residing over Duke's funeral. But in traditional Duke fashion, there is no body since it appears Duke went over Niagara Falls. Simmons plays the character superbly, and builds up the films offbeat humor. He explains that Duke was never much for the Bible, so he instead reads the lyrics to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird." The dysfunctional funeral continues in great fashion when one of Duke's sons (Scott Caan of the "Oceans Eleven" film series) shows up late, just in time to get in a brawl with his brothers in front of their father's casket. The fight is so bad that Simmons has to break out his first aid kit, which the family has used so many times the kit has been given the nickname, "Old Rusty." It is just a tiny detail that makes this oddball family feel real and made me like them more and more.
That is why the news they get at the reading of Duke's will hit me like a sucker punch. It's the crux of the plot and even the synopsis for the movie, so I don't feel bad revealing this, but writer/director Jonathan Sobol turns up the heat, revealing that Duke had the three oldest boys involved in an experimental drug treatment program that has now cut their life expectancy down to nothing and they'll be dead in a brief matter of time. While many of them find this rather hard to believe, one of the boys, Jacob (Paulo Costanzo of "Road Trip" and "Royal Pains") goes to his doctor in an attempt to find out the truth. The doctor tells him about the drug tested on them and is blunt when he asks if there is ever anything he wanted to do, followed by suggesting that he goes and does them.
Before long we see each brother handle their mortality in different ways. Scott Caan is a womanizer who is afraid of being like his dad who had a bunch of boys from different mothers, so he goes on a quest to find the one woman who got his motor going and who he feels he can commit to, a total psychopath named Miranda. His brother "Nuts" (a former boxer) is just trying to wrap things up with training his younger brother "Juicebox" for a boxing match, before realizing he's gotten his brother involved in something he has no business being a part of. And Jacob creates a bucket list of things he wants to do, taking his youngest brother along for the ride, as they go from one insane item on the checklist to the next.
Their three stories build into a glorious crescendo, and the editing pulls their stories together with some wonderful cuts that tighten the tension and milk the humor. What is fantastic is this could have been a dreary movie about regret and people facing their mortality, but Sobol injects a little dark humor in every scene and keeps the viewer wanting more.
Overall, "A Beginners Guide To Endings" is a beautifully paced movie that unfolds the plot quickly, and makes excellent use of the Niagara Falls setting. For a film that could have easily been too morbid or morose, it really makes for an entertaining and uplifting story in general. Definitely one of the best narrative movies I have seen in quite a while, and one I will be recommending to everyone I know.
Incest Death Squad 2 (2010)
A very fun film- but not for the faint of heart, or the serious of temperament!
Director Cory J. Udler returns with "Incest Death Squad 2", the second installment in the IDS Trilogy (with the final installment currently in pre-production) currently available on DVD via ShaLenn Productions.
The story follows the incestious siblings, and homicidal religious-fanatics Jeb and Amber Wayne- who have embarked on a ravenous cross-country road trip in search of "the one who got away"-newspaper journalist Aaron Burg. Much like IDS1, this one starts off with a bang and proceeds to take the viewer on a wild ride through the dark underbelly of backwoods Middle America- filled with gratuitous amounts of violent, brutal, and at times even downright revolting displays of human depravity.
Never once taking itself too seriously, "Incest Death Squad 2" also features plenty of comic relief and bizarre antics one would expect from such a title, including a few hilarious cameos by the always-entertaining Troma President Lloyd Kaufman. A little comedy mixed in really helps this film as well, as the extremely graphic subject matter could very well be rather hard to swallow (no pun intended) without a proverbial spoon full of sugar.
Also of note is the acting, cinematography, and production values, which are actually much better than one would expect from a (truly) independent, low-budget film. While this is admittedly far from a cinematic masterpiece, for what it is, it's very well done and really makes the most out of its limited resources.
Overall, Incest Death Squad 2 is an great example of why one should never underestimate the power of shock-value and the gratuitous use of the few taboos left in the 21st century. It's disturbing, gruesome, and all-around offensive. Everything a great exploitation film should be! Highly recommended for hardcore horror fans and old-school exploitation videophiles alike... though I'd have to suggest casual viewers and the easily-offended stay away... this one's definitely not for the faint of heart, or the serious of temperament!
SubUrbia (1996)
Quite possibly the best film to never see a DVD release
Without a doubt, this is one of (if not the) best films to never see a DVD release. It's honestly nothing short of a travesty that, even in 2011, one cannot even purchase this excellent work on any modern format.
Mind you, thanks to streaming sites like Netflix, one can still get their hands on this one, even if they've long since put-away their old VHS player, but that doesn't do much for those of us who pride ourselves on our film collections.
Overall, this is a truly exceptional film with a fantastic cast, great soundtrack, and plenty of the amazing dialogue that Linklater's films are known for. If you haven't seen it- please do yourself a favor and give it a look... if you're anything like me, you won't be disappointed!
Kiss the Abyss (2012)
Official review from Stiff Magazine: Issue #5 (January 2010)
When it comes to indie horror movies, each one has a different draw to it. Some are cheesy and over-top while others are more suspenseful. "Kiss The Abyss" is a suspense horror by Risen Pictures. This film is a tragic tale leading to a dubious ending, written and directed by Ken Winkler, starring an emotional cast of players, and featuring impressive make-up F/X that draw you in till the very end.
We start out with a young married couple, Leslie and Mark. They struggle with money and do not live in a very safe neighborhood which results in Leslie's unexpected death. A mysterious man in the middle of the desert is able to bring her back to life but with dire consequences. She begins to thirst for blood and transforms into something, but it's not what you think.
Also co-written by Eric Rucker, "Kiss The Abyss" is the first major effort from both men and it's a decent one, even earning high praise at the 2010 FreakShow Film Fest (which is where we first saw this film) in Orlando, Florida. Together, they create a mixed-bag of emotional characters. While some characters were excellent, their development was not. They receive little explanation as to their relationships to each other, and it takes some time for us to learn names which is exacerbated by the rather choppy opening. The film opens in the middle of the time-line and flashes back frequently to before and to the point of Leslie's death but never explains what happened during the three day gap. The 2nd act is when the plot really gets going.
Leslie and Mark were played by Nicole Moore and Scott W. Wilson respectively. Their performance was very heartfelt and tender. They were clearly the best choice for this picture. While Moore and Wilson were the heart of the film, Douglas Bennett stole the show as the back woods necromancer, Gus. Bennett's scenes were often humorous in creepy way. His performance did not over blow the character's "redneck" nature and he seemed to be more intelligent than your average horror movie hillbilly. James Mathers plays Leslie's corrupt rich father, Harold. Mathers tended to overact his part, seemed devoid of any emotion, and overall was just not believable.
Finally, we come to the make-up. The blood and the injury effects were professional grade which has become standard for indie horror movies these days. What really makes the film stand out is the effects of Leslie's transformation, progressing with each new scene. This really makes the film more suspenseful as you wonder how she will change next and what she will become. This theme is reminiscent of "The Fly" (1986) as the audience watched Brundle's transformation.
This film has a hidden theme which reiterates the age old question "what makes a monster?" Was it the literal and physical monster of what Leslie was becoming or the metaphorical monster of Gus and Leslie's selfish father? It may be a story told before, but this film tells it in a unique way.
Overall, not too bad of a film, and an excellent first effort. If you like "Cat People" or "The Fly", you'll love "Kiss The Abyss". Definitely an indie gem well-worth checking out!
Reviewed by: Dave Mongeni www.stiffmag.com