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stuthorr
Reviews
Senior Year (2022)
Painfully Unfunny
Rebel was acting comedic for a very n long time in this film and I didn't laugh once.
I gave it enough time and many chances. Nothing hit.
Would suggest giving it a miss.
Secrets in the Ice (2020)
"experts" read lines blankly while Jeff Teravainen over-exaggerates every word
I mean... The foundation of the content is interesting stuff. I can't knock it, but the cuts to the experts are just ridiculous. So blank and lacking any enthusiasm for the subject. It's so obvious they're just reading from a script to the side of the camera, it detracts from the quality of the program.
Somebody needs to stop hurting Jeff for these narration roles too. He just isn't appealing or pleasant to listen to.
Sorry, Jeff.
Candyman (2021)
Is it finished yet?
Feel like I've been watching it for around 5 hours.
Not much has happened, no compelling characters, no intriguing happenings. Utterly dull, overstretched pointlessness.
Wouldn't advise viewing.
I can't stop sighing. The other people in the room asked me if I was okay.
What an utterly miserable experience.
Cannibal Troll (2021)
Misleading
I wanted to see a troll devouring other trolls.
A title like 'Cannibal Troll' would suggest that.... It isn't that.
Very disappointing. I do not recommend.
The Harry Hill Movie (2013)
Huh... That's actually hilarious.
Don't go into this expecting a life changing experience. It's Harry having a laugh. It's actually hilarious. I'm not joking.
And the giant hamster... Terrifying. Also not joking.
Quite enjoying it.
Ozark: Sanctified (2022)
Whoahh!!!
I was blown away....
I feel as though I just survived a catastrophic event by the skin of my teeth
I'm in shock. It was THAT good.
Breathe.... breathe.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Absolutely Glorious
I quite like the first attempt to be honest but this one just Blows that right out of the water.
Must see.
Utopia (2020)
It doesn't work.
An absolute shame.
It's got Teen Movie vibes from the get go, and that isn't a positive. It's trying to be quirky, but it's actually cringey.
The way it starts is meaningless. Unlike the original which immediately grabs you and pulls you in. The soundtrack By Cristobel Tapia de Veer created that atmosphere, the cinematography kept you transfixed.
In the American version R.B is a clean cut OCD type and it just doesn't seem right. He'd probably fit better next to Sheldon Cooper. In fact, everybody in this is clean and covered in makeup. It lacks grit and presence.
The artwork from the comic doesn't mess with your head like the original did. It clearly shows that the artist was struggling in their mind. The new one looks like some Alice In Wonderland stuff.
The "txting" sequences where the text shows in its separate window is obnoxiously done.
Ughhh, I'm watching it right now as I type this and it's just gross.
Dragon's Dogma (2020)
Yeah, nah.
Episode 1 was reasonable but it soon fell into empty fan service moments, spells and places. The story line was rushed, the monsters were actually worse than even the PS3 version of the game. They were flat and texture-less, a total disappointment.
There were characters in it like the pawn "Hannah" who was a magik archer? That wasn't possible for pawns. Also she's clearly aesthetically based on Ser Mercedes but with blonde hair. Guess they didn't want to plagiarise Caska from Berserk by going down the Mercedes road.
Then fake Madeline, basically Madeline but not a trader, just a large breasted blonde woman with an idiotic husband... and fake Julien, except he's not a devious, plotting, bully.
I never had much hope for this but after episode 1, the Arisen really has no positive or redeeming personality traits. His eyes keep going red when he gets angry and the story doesn't make sense. There no time spent getting to know any characters or any places. We never meet the Duke or find out the the things we do in the game.
I've probably finished the game on PS3, PS4 and PC more than 30 times and this anime adaption with its weird half drawn half virtually rendered visuals and leapfrogging story just makes me ashamed.
Maybe people who haven't played the game will think it's good though, who knows? I sure as hell don't.