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Reviews
River Wild (2023)
It IS a remake. It says it in the credits.
The movie is fine, a little overly dramatic, but altogether a fine watch when there's nothing else to watch. I did wonder if the actors and filmmaker were friends because there are a lot of connections between actors.
But the thing I'm taking umbrage with is the number of people on here trying to say this isn't a remake. It IS a remake in the actual sense. The end credits specifically say: Based on the film "The River Wild" written by Denis O'Niell. So, even though it's been rewritten and all, it's factually a remake.
And AS a remake, it's actually quite good in that they took a story and recreated the dynamics but still deliver on the same dread as with the original. Similar to the 2022 Wrong Turn remake.
I Feel Pretty (2018)
The rating system on this film has been sabotaged
Interesting that 1,400 Men have given this film a 1-Star rating. It's an effort to purposely handicap the film with an incredibly low score by alt-right men's groups who want to sabotage films featuring complex female lead characters. I'm surprised that IMDB has allowed this to happen.
Saw the film last night, and while it wasn't perfect it was still very cute and oddly inspirational for doing better at your job!
Those People (2015)
Very juvenile portrayal of "gay life"
While this film was a good effort, there were just far too many incomprehensible plot points and devices to make this a believable story. I can partially swallow a bunch of immature 26 year old gay boys not really understanding their emotions and as a result, being overly dramatic about EVERYTHING, but when you throw in a 40-year- old successful concert pianist who behaves like a child, that's where you lose me.
Saying "I love you" after two weeks? No.
Inserting yourself and revealing tempestuous details at very inappropriate times, is not only selfish but tactless.
After one month of dating, saying to your boyfriend: "You're always going to choose him over me, aren't you?" when referring to a friendship he has had for more than 15 years, can easily be considered clinically insane.
A valiant effort on the part of the director, but the story needs greater finessing, beyond inserting dramatic plot points and illogical characters for the sake of trying to create tension. It's not just that gay men don't behave this way, adults don't behave this way.
Almost Human (2013)
Aliens and Gore and Bad Actors, oh my!
This film was clearly made by people who overreached their abilities. It boasts some pretty effective special effects, but that's about it. Being indie shouldn't equate to horrible writing and horrendous actors that feel like they're just friends with the director.
A word of advice: details. Focus on the details. It's the subtle details that can elevate a horrible executed film like this above some of the basic indie horror fare. There's more to horror than a killer on the loose and gory deaths. Take the time to hone the dialogue, even if you don't really care about the characters, don't just have people say things like "Something isn't right, I just feel it" for no reason other than you think it adds suspense. Don't have characters ramble on in scenes when they can't act to save their lives. You may be trying to pay homage, but the execution is off--watch those films again, and even though they can be pretty bad there's a charm that your film doesn't possess. If you want to make an 80s film, then go all out and make an 80s film, camera angles, bad acting, and all.
But kudos on the effects.
Apartment 1303 3D (2012)
Avoid it.
This piece of s**t remake feels like someone just decided to barf up the original and smear it all over your screen. It's horrendous. In every single way. The acting is abysmal—whoever told Misha Barton she could act was delusional. The "film" (and I use that term loosely) sees a vile mother/daughter relationship between Barton and DeMorney, eh, just for the hell of it. Rebecca DeMorney is an aging rock star who has these ridiculous scenes where she "sings" (and I use that term loosely) parts of songs that she's written.
Everything in this flip flops all over the place with little to no coherency. There's something about a vengeful spirit that kills the residents on the 13th floor, there's an overbearing little girl and a fat-ass pervy landlord, and the sex scene between the girl who dies at the beginning and her boyfriend are the most awkward in the world. Basically, after all of this my review can boil down to this: avoid it. At all costs.
Fright Night 2 (2013)
And so it begins. Again. Literally.
From the talented mind who brought you White Noise 2: The Light, Mirrors 2, and the forthcoming Leprechaun: Origins and the highly sought after Mexican director of
well, absolutely nothing comes a new vision of a new vision of horror. Fright Night 2, being a remake of a remake, takes the exact same characters as the first film, dumps them in Romania, and instead of continuing the story in any sane fashion, decides it's just easier to start from scratch
again.
Jaime Murray as the new Gerri the vampire is completely wasted in this throw away film that lives more for moments than anything else. Particularly impressive is her little sonar bit in the tunnel of a tunnel of a subway. The rest of the cast is absolutely boring. I don't understand why the filmmakers decided not to continue the story from the 2011 (*ahem) blockbuster. Or why didn't they just create a whole new bunch of characters? Or why not try and remake the original sequel—now, THAT would have been interesting.
And another thing, why is it that all these low budget straight-to-DVD horror sequels have to be so poorly made? There are plenty of great low budget films. All you need is a writer that cares enough about the story, a director that cares about more than getting another title under his belt or paycheck, and a studio that wants to deliver a quality product to its audience. Is that so hard?
Jesus.
Revenant (2012)
Badly acted and poorly written, but still promising
This film epitomizes a couple of guys who really want to make a horror movie but don't have the patience to hone their craft into creating a well written script that is deftly acted. It's distracting how bad the lead guy is in this (not to mention that he's also the writer). In the hands of a better actor this would have been really effective.
The direction is challenging enough and there are some great moments that would have benefited even more with a better camera and a bigger budget.
In the end it's the details that does this film in. The lead guy never changes his clothes once in 90 days! He sleeps in the same t-shirt and jeans throughout the film. The end chase scene starts off really well but due to the low budget and a bad camera turns into a farce really quickly.
I know I'm being cynical in all of this, but this film can be enjoyed as a promising first effort from a couple of guys who want to make a good movie. They just need more education and skill to pull off what they attempt to.