Reviews

The only thing horrifying is the script, and the acting, and the makeup...

Let me start by saying that I am a huge fan of the novel upon which this turd is based. The book? Fantastic.

The movie? Not so much.

Let us start by stating that referring to the acting in this movie as "wooden" would be to over-emphasize any realistic flexibility this cast has. Seriously, ventriloquist dummies have a greater depth of emotion.

Of course, then there is the fact that it seems every other scene is people walking around in the open, at night...you know...when vampires can get them? The vampires themselves? The only way they could look cheaper is if they were merely wearing t-shirts that said "Vampire" on them.

Avoid this stinker.

When I think of "Fan Films" I think of low budget productions put together on a shoelace...that LOOK like it.

This is not a "Fan Film". This is an independent film made by fans. The difference is the quality. Perfectly acted, with breathtaking visuals, this is something that left me wanting more from these folks. I want another film in the Judge Dredd universe.

Seriously, the only disappointment is that Greg Staples has no chin and should NEVER be shot in profile if being used as Dredd.

Judge Minty follows the retirement, and long walk journey into the Cursed Earth. Never has the Cursed Earth looked this good. This 27 minute movie has it right where an entire Hollywood production couldn't even take a single correct step.

This is probably one of the better riffs on H P Lovecraft's "Colour out of Space" that I've seen. It is certainly better than both "The Curse" and "Die Monster, Die!" Like any good suspense film (I'd not call this a horror movie) the Empty Acre relies on slowly suspense as the movie progresses. This isn't a movie for gore fans, or people with the attention span of a 5 year old. One really needs to commit to this film, but it is well worth it.

As the movie progresses and the relationship between the married couple grows more and more estranged, one can actually see the "Acre" responding to the emotional turmoil, feeding off of it and growing in strength.

While certainly not a direct interpretation of Lovecraft's work, the influence is there so strongly that you cannot miss it. This is a MUST for any fan of Lovecraft's work, and I admit that I look forward to seeing what Patrick Rea has done since.

A group of friends go kayaking on the Little Miami River and encounter something strange, and a man who is even stranger. Then the quest begins to uncover whether or not the Frogmen of Loveland are real.

Yes, this isn't a "great" movie. However, when one looks at it for what it is, a movie made by High Schoolers? It is actually pretty impressive. The acting isn't perfect, but it is far better than any number of movies that I've seen independently sold on DVD to unsuspecting consumers.

This one? Actually a little fun and I admit to being pleasantly surprised. Well worth watching. Filmed on location in Loveland.

We just saw a pre-release showing of this movie and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor a few times. The movie is simply stunning. While there may be small details to niggle at for the most die-hard Burroughs fans, this is "inspired by" a Princess of Mars, it isn't a straight adaptation. The movie is a whirlwind of amazing visuals, powerful dialog and soul-wrenching storytelling.

I'd had high hopes that this movie would live up to the hype surrounding it. It surpasses it, the hype doesn't even come close. From beginning to end, this movie focuses on story, and expands on a great story with stunning effects as opposed to just using great FX in place of solid storytelling.

It also has one of the strongest pieces of non-verbal storytelling outside of Up.

Do not miss this film. Do see it in the theaters. Do see it in 3D.

You will not be disappointed. I'm certainly chomping at the bit for release day so I can see it again and I'm already hoping for a sequel based on The Gods of Mars.

Seriously, this must be the worst Holmes production ever made. While Terry Wade plays a nice Dr. Watson, he stands heads and shoulders over what can only politely be called the "performances" of the rest of the cast. That these people were even allowed near a camera is a frightening concept indeed.

Arthur Mann overacts his way through his "Mary Sue" portrayal as Holmes, certainly only cast in the role because he's responsible for the film. His rendition of Holmes playing Paganini is to crudely screech his way through scales on a violin...painfully. To say that his acting is often over the top would be to put it mildly. Our introduction to Holmes was almost enough to make us give up right there. If only we had...

Each subsequent performer we are introduced to is horrid, from a Cardinal who wishes to be Emperor Palpatine, to a killer who is trying to channel Alex from a Clockwork Orange. But none are so unforgivably bad as Richard W. Kerr's Inspector Lestrade. Each moment with him on screen is a pain that viewers are forced to endure. Wooden delivery, mixed with a horribly unbelievable accent and crappy dialog makes for an unforgettable mess.

Where the acting is bad, the script is even worse. Typical fanwank such as referencing the Strand Magazine, and name-dropping Basil Rathbone, flit about in the poorly written script. Compounding matters, the film can't even decide if it should be taken seriously. When the killers find a target has already committed suicide their leader exclaims, "Let's go get cake." Honestly, one of the rare, redeeming qualities of the movie (other than that it mercifully has an end) is the music. However, while every extra in the movie is listed in the credits, no information on the source of the music is given.

The concept of the movie is...interesting.Three or four editing passes on the script, and a very different cast (keeping only Terry Wade as Watson) would've made for a MUCH better film.

This is an hour of your life you will not get back. You have been warned.

So, after being subjected to the OTHER movie on this tape (Humanoids from Atlantis) I didn't have much hope for this movie. I was actually pleasantly surprised.

Sure, it has no budget and the pinnacle of its special effects is a hand puppet but the movie actually is quite charming. This is a movie that KNOWS it is a bad movie and doesn't take itself seriously. The humor is hit or miss, but when it hits you can actually get a genuine laugh out of it.

This is definitely independent video at its cheapest (obviously shot during the camcorder boom), but the director actually takes pains to set up some shots and put a little style into this.

This isn't fine cinema, but it is certainly better than 90% of the films released by Troma, and is certainly worth a watch.

While I enjoyed this series, I was saddened to see them lift a story from This American Life and drop it whole into the show and pass it off as "original." Check out http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/115/first-day Squirrel Cop Really, sad and insulting.

The series itself was a fun series, despite jarring mid-season cast changes, and the recasting of a supporting character.

Still, this episode sticks out as a disappointment. The original material that was stolen for this episode was funnier than what the show's writer's delivered.

This movie goes beyond bad, it has no redeeming qualities.

Special Effects? Awful, even for a "B" movie. Plot? Crap. Acting? Non-existent. Music? Embarrassingly bad? Dialog? Idiotic? Humor? None.

There is nothing redeeming about this film. If you like crappy films? Then you'll love this one. If you want a movie with a plot, continuity, or anything of the sort? Pass. It doesn't even have cheesy special effects as the quality of the special effects in this movie come nowhere high enough to even approach cheesy. I don't know who told these people that they should make a movie, but this movie is bad, even for a Troma film.

Save yourself the time. I wish I had.

Reviewing this one is a bit tough, because the film is in French and has no subtitles. Fortunately as this is an adaptation of Lovecraft's the "Very Old Folk" , the story is fairly easy to follow.

The film begins at an Archaeological site with the discovery of a Roman era manuscript. From there we go back to the time of the manuscripts writing and follow a group of Roman Legionnaires. From there we drop into the actual Lovecraft tale.

The locations used for this film are wonderful. The scenic vistas that the Romans travel through are wholly unlike anything in an American Lovecraft film, and the film succeeds, in part, because of that. The acting, while in a language I do not speak, was solid and believable. If you want to know if someone is a good actor? See if they can convey emotion through the language barrier...

The film doesn't need much in the way of effects, as the story itself deals with strange cultists in the hills as opposed to monsters of otherworldly terror. Even so, the film take a very minimalist approach to the cultists, keeping them in shadow when seen. This heightens the overall effect and makes them even more creepy.

Let me start by saying that this film is visually stunning. The camera work evokes stark, black and white images with a very dream-like world. The props provided by Catalyst Studios are, as one would suspect, top notch (for those unaware and living in a cave hiding from the Great Old Ones, Catalyst Studios is responsible for the cover of the d20 Cthulhu book). Make up? Wonderful. The look of the mail character, Ezekiel Sutter? Top notch.

Sadly, the soundtrack for this film was recorded separately. Given the strange feel of the film, I actually didn't mind the dialog not matching up to the screen. What I did mind was the lackluster performance given by many of the actors while doing their voicework. An example would be Sebastian DeLaOsa's abominable performance as the Marshal. With no real emotion or passion to what he is saying, the viewer gets the feeling that he is simply reading lines from a script. Of course, there are exceptions and I would be remiss in pointing out the wonderful performance of Michael Graves in the title role.

The story itself is an original tale set in " A west that never was, and will be again". While the movie is well-paced it never manages to get beyond eerie, though I suspect it was trying desperately hard to do so. While there are some odd things about the movie (why does the main character walk everywhere?) overall it is entertaining. Clocking in at just over 30 minutes, the story seems a bit rushed, and the tale could have done with a longer treatment.

As for Lovecraftian references? They are fairly subtle. Indeed the most obvious is on the DVD case, a mention of the "Tattered King". That is okay though, this film seeks to evoke atmosphere rather than screams, and in that it does fairly well.

There are some interesting extras on the DVD. Oddly enough, the interviews are the most disappointing. Obviously done in one take, there are times where it is almost impossible to hear what is being said due to planes flying over head. Those sequences should have been reshot, but never were. However, as extras go, the collections of photos are by far my favorite and there are some really great pictures included on the DVD.

Another uncredited adaptation of Lovecraft's "Lurking Fear". I admit, that even with the low quality packaging, I had a bit of hope for this one. The fact that I'd never heard of it until is surfaced on DVD, 14 years after being filmed didn't exactly help matters.

The first thing I noticed about this no-frills DVD is that the title of the film is presented as "Drak Heritage" on the menu. This didn't exactly fill me with confidence as people who give a damn about their release would never let such an obvious and glaring error slip past them. The sound quality fluctuates horribly during the film and some of the soundtrack overwhelms the system and obviously went far beyond the redline during mixing. The film quality is iffy, at best, and lighting seems to be a problem in numerous scenes. Of course, we've all scene bad, low-budget Lovecraft films before.

The next problem with the film is the cast. Cardboard like at best, just plain awful at their worst, the cast seems wholly unbelievable. The flat delivery of dialog casts one more horrible shadow on this film.

Still, there are some bright points. First, the locations. The plantation home used for the Dansen manor was wonderful. It evoked an almost "Blair Witch" feel, the cracked plaster, and vacant halls. Of course, someplace that has been abandoned for 150 years shouldn't have light switches by the door, and a fairly well manicured lawn, but I was actually willing to overlook that.

Secondly, bad as this film is (and make no mistake, it is pretty awful), Dark Heritage does manage to create a bit of atmospheric tension during a few of the more eerie moments of the movie. In fact, had this been done as a silent film, it would have most likely enhanced the overall production by not allowing bad acting to spoil the few solid atmospheric shots.

Still, this adaptation is weak, leaving a few unanswered questions, but perhaps they are best left unanswered. Interestingly enough though, the only actor from this movie who has gone on to continue his career to any note, Eddie Moore (Mr. Daniels), went on to play bit parts in two Brendan Fraser movies ("Blast from the Past" and "Dudley Do-Right"). Nice to see that he managed to overcome that little problem of being incapable of acting his way out of a wet paper sack.

Overall the film comes off like someone's college project and, viewed in that light, it isn't too terribly bad. Of the three Lurking Fear adaptations available (Bleeders/Hemoglobin, the Lurking Fear, and Dark Heritage) this is by far the most faithful adaptation. Certainly, the setting has been moved to Louisiana and the name Martense has been changed to Dansen, but much of the film is actually quite faithful to the original story. This alone makes it an interesting find

This movie is so terrible it is difficult to find words to describe it, but I shall make an attempt. There is a severe lack of production values, including shots filmed at dusk, blatantly dropped into scenes taking place in the dead of night. Seeing people walk around with searchlights, where the light around them is brighter than that of the searchlight, is pretty darn silly.

There are a few nightmare sequences in the movie, all of them terrible. It seems that Producer Roger Corman paid a few aging hippies to run around mostly naked and covered in body paint. Filmed with a vaseline smeared lens, the nightmare scenes would have best been filmed with the lenscap on. The same could be said for all of the oddly colored negative shots that are so indicative of a late 60's early 70's occult horror film.

There is a fantastic cast to this film, but they are horribly wasted. Sandra Dee spends half of her screen time writhing about like a bashful pornstar (no wonder this was her last film) and Dean Stockwell seems almost ashamed of the horrible dialog that he is forced to spew forth. Oscar winning Ed Begley sleepwalks through this movie, uncovering the entirety of the truth with an ease that only a horrible script could provide.

This is it, the holy grail of Lovecraftian adaptations, a good film. The Shunned House is an Italian film that is actually comprised of three stories; the Music of Eric Zann, Dreams in the Witch House, and the Shunned House. Unlike other anthology films, the Shunned House does not tell the stories one at a time, instead allowing them all to unfold together with the house as a major character in its own right. While this can make things a bit confusing from time to time, overall the tactic works quite well.

Another plus is that the film is visually stunning, capturing mood and evoking that darkness that Lovecraft is so famed for. Certainly these are not literal translations of Lovecraft's stories to film, but the additions made are eerie and continue to call on the darkness that the filmmaker has conjured forth.

Yes, there are things that seem a bit out of place, and there is one scene in particular that seems to have been heavily influenced by the Blair Witch Project, but none of this matters. This is a great film. My only concerns are raised by a few technical hiccups in the DVD. As mine was new and fresh out of the wrap I can not help but wonder if these imperfections are found in all copies of the film, or merely mine. In any case they were easy to overlook and caused no severe problems.

An uncredited adaptation of the Lurking Fear, Hemoglobin (as it is titled in the current US DVD release) stars Rutger Hauer as a drunken doctor recently moved to a small New England fishing community. The arrival of John Strauss (played in near-albino fashion by Roy Dupuis) raises some interesting questions.

The basic theme of Lovecraft's story remains unchanged. A family of incest-deformed monsters live beneath the town, feeding on the dead. Of course, Lovecraft provided a description of the horror in the Lurking Fear and yet, to my knowledge, there is no adaptation that has bothered to be true to this fairly simple detail.

The movie is fairly fast paced, though the insertion of a sex scene comes off as forced and staged, interrupting the film's progression for the purpose of a few quick breast shots. The creature effects aren't that great, indeed, they are probably one of the poorer portions of the film. The footage of the underground catacombs though? That is just wonderful.

The film tries to play with atmosphere, and does us the courtesy of not waving badly made up monsters in our face. Indeed, one of the more tense scenes plays out mostly in shadow as the creatures storm the local lighthouse.