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Reviews
The Unseen (1980)
Unlikeable protagonist/lovable monster!
OK, maybe lovable was a stretch but much more lovable than the main character Jennifer. The Unseen was a very strange viewing experience, it went from one extreme to the other. I loved the settings and backdrops, the house had a cozy antique feel to it. Sydney Lassick was absolutely perfect as Ernest, both in his portrayal of the character and in his appearance. Lelia Goldoni as Lassick's wife was also fantastic. The pacing in the movie was not great, it had its boring stretches especially near the end right before all the action kicked off, but when it takes off it goes full speed and really does a great job of keeping you engaged. I really didn't like Jennifer though, they didn't give you any reason to like her, in fact they gave you the opposite! Sorry but being pretty isn't quite enough. The backstory behind Ernest was disturbing and the monster's time on screen was at most times hilarious. I found myself laughing most of the time which was very unexpected and probably not the intention of the filmmakers, nevertheless the last portion of the film made up for the slow and seemingly pointless parts preceding it. Had they cut out the filler I would have given this film a 7 or 8. I'd still recommend it for Ernest alone, even though "The Unseen" eventually steals the show.
Malatesta's Carnival of Blood (1973)
Should have been an hour shorter.
This movie felt like an awful fever dream. I was looking forward to seeing it because it's set in a carnival and it's from the 70s, two things I love! I thought it would be an instant hit for me but it wasn't. I found it to be quite boring, it really could have been cut down to a 30 minute short film without sacrificing anything at all from the viewing experience. The movie had a lot of potential but they didn't make the most of the carnival grounds as a backdrop. The movie didn't offer me any reason to give it a second viewing. It had a couple scenes I thought looked neat but the visuals didn't ooze into other areas of the film. Most of the time you're staring at a plain black background. The movie doesn't look good and wasn't filmed in a way that made me feel engaged, it was amateurish and left me thinking what could have been if it were handled with more care. The characters are stiff as a board and I didn't really care what happened I just wanted the movie to end. The few death scenes that were in the movie were a bit comical in their corniness, they at the least deserve to be shared to friends as standalone clips.
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018)
Can already say this won't receive the rating it deserves
I went in getting exactly what I thought I would get. I wasn't going in expecting some movie about the human condition and the trials of every day life and overcoming adversity in dramatic fashion, nope I wasn't expecting that at all.
I expected to see some awesome fight sequences, great looking creatures (took a while to get to the real meaty stuff though) and fantastic cgi.
I'll admit that most of the humor didn't really work in the film's favor, it just wasn't very clever and at some points seemed extremely forced (the ending might just make you cringe).
But what was the purpose of the film? What was the intention behind it?
I think it accomplished what it set out to do, and bashing it for being something it never tried to be in the first place is just silly.
It would have been nice if there were more kaijus scattered throughout the film, but the climax of the film did boast one of the most awesome giant monster battles to hit the screen.
One thing I wasn't a big fan of was parts of Cailee Spaeny's portrayal of Amara, I salute her for giving it her all (I'm assuming), but there were scenes where she just didn't have enough grit, enough fight in her, parts where the actors around her were looking fierce and she just looked out of place.
Also the film could have done without all the Chinese dialogue and subtitles, we get it, they are Chinese and in China, speaking it doesn't sell it any more, it's 2018, we get it. Definitely a fun film, though some parts dragged on a little bit, it was still a worthwhile experience. I don't regret watching it.
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
Satisfying for most kids, but not a laugh riot.
I went to watch this with my child and 2 other adults, we could not wait for the film to be over (in fact one of the adults nearby fell asleep during the film). I never read any of the books but had seen the covers in the past and always chuckled at the concept of this hero in his underwear. After seeing the trailer I was looking forward to watching captain underpants fight crime, but he doesn't do very much of that in this movie. Instead of sending him off to thwart various possible crimes, the only thing he really does is try to stop a very boring villain from ridding the world of laughter. Truth be told, Captain Underpants doesn't really do anything at all for the first half of the film, unless you count yelling out "tra-la-laaaa" every few minutes as doing something. The villain Prof Poopypants (just saying his name is the punchline to almost every joke in this film, no build up, no absurdity or irony) is so one-dimensional and predictable. The story lacks the depth of other great animated films. I really expected this to be hilarious, the possibilities were endless, they could have put Captain Underpants in so many different hilarious situations but failed to do so. Some might say this movie wasn't supposed to appeal to adults, but that's what separates it from being a good animated film, the memorable ones can be enjoyed by both adults and children without having to dumb it down to this level. Toy Story/Ratatouille/Lego Batman/The Lego Movie, all examples of great films that were not dumbed down and yet still loved by children everywhere.
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Not bad, but not as great as expected. Deceiving trailer.
Firstly I have to say it, have we been watching the same movie? Emma Watson just wasn't able to pull off Belle, she did her best but I didn't buy it. Her smile never feels sincere or have much warmth in it, her default expression always seems angry, which is also out of her control but not the right fit for Belle. As others have stated she isn't at the peak of her craft yet. Some of the humour takes away from the mystique of the film. The other actors did well and the CGI was incredible. The commercial sort of made the movie out to be less of a musical but that wasn't the case. There is tons of singing in the film, which I felt was deceiving as I thought there would only be maybe 2 songs in it, it wasn't overdone but I just anticipated a big change. The last 15 minutes of the film is very entertaining but as a whole the film won't be among the top Disney films ever made. Still a decent film and easy on the eyes. The visuals are the biggest winner and main reason to watch more than once.
Strange Magic (2015)
Horrible. I expected so much more from George Lucas.
What went through Lucas' mind when he concocted the script for this film? I expected so much more originality from him than what was delivered. This film so desperately wants to be an old school Disney movie. I hated hearing all the radio pop songs redone, it would have been a bit less torturous if the soundtrack was more original. The main characters in this "film" look grotesque, I mean a real eyesore! I could not stand all the singing. It was overkill. I needed some more dialogue in-between but they didn't give the viewers enough room to breathe, it was an onslaught of melodic torture that seemed endless. You cannot create something this bad by mistake. It must be carried out with great precision and intent. Avoid this abomination at all costs!
V/H/S/2 (2013)
Watch it for Safe Haven at the very least
If you've seen the first VHS film then you know exactly what to expect from VHS 2. Unfortunately VHS 2 has too many terrible traits to pick at. The acting in general is pretty awful. Some of these actors have no sense of urgency whatsoever, it destroys the credibility of the stories. They seemed to use the best actors for the "Safe Haven" segment of the movie which was by far the best story in the film and the most atmospheric. "Phase I Clinical Trials" was extremely cliché (The Eye, anyone?) and had no plot twists or surprises, everything was painfully predictable from start to finish. "A Ride in the Park" was decent, "Slumber Party Alien Abduction" was a blatant rehashing of "Alien Abduction: Incident in Lake County" that aired on FOX in 1998. The dialogue and course of events that take place were so insulting to the viewers intelligence. Seriously, is a DOG worth that much to ANYBODY, ANYWHERE? Safe Haven should have just been the entire movie since it's leagues above the other stories. If there is a VHS 3 I won't be watching it.