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Reviews
Scream VI (2023)
Bring back Jason or Freddy...
How is this franchise on the 6th installment, and why do I keep thinking a new sequel will be an improvement on the last.
I miss the supernatural slashers, the ones with some imagination. Scream 6 once again rehashes the same meta movie tropes, watching their friends get butchered before turning into a jokey debate about where the are in a movie scenario.
Ghostface (Serial Killer 14?) is once again a Wile E Coyote fool, skidding and falling around like he's in a scooby doo cartoon.
I think it should have ended with Scream 3 if I'm being generous but I suppose it keeps Courtney Cox employed.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
What is this? Entertainment for Ants?
Black Panther 2, Thor 3, Ant Man 3, all have excelled in the bad guys role and fumbled everywhere else.
Some might say it's superhero fatigue but I'm pretty sure the movies are getting awful. In Any Man 3 and Black Panther 2, you have kids engineering things that Tony Stark could only dream of.
Ant Man 3 is another forgettable entry in Marvel's recent output. The only saving grace was the bad guy and with his future casting now in doubt I'm not sure what you're left with.
There's also something sad about watching the great Michael Douglas reduced to sticking his hands inside two worms to fly a spaceship.
28 Days Haunted (2022)
Nice idea...
But it needed better investigators to be honest and less drama.
The only one I liked was the tech/audio guy who called it straight...
"There's noises happening all over the house and you want to go outside to the cemetery?"
Then we cut to the other investigator crying because he was made to look stupid.
If everyone was no nonsense and straight to the point like him it would have been a better show
Instead we get "psychics" who straight up say it's hard to psychically get a last name and another one who doesn't want to do anything because its dangerous. And yeah I'm pretty convinced that bloke wrote on the mirror, so kudos for him to calling that out.
Just let that next guy do the next series.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
Great practical effects...
Yeah this movie is definitely not going to be for most people but I really enjoy old school practical effects. There's a skill to be seen in these that are sadly missing from most of today's movies.
I agree the running time detracted from the movie overall and it's amazing how in all the extreme gore on display they cleary draw the line at showing any nudity, god forbid.
At the end of the day though, horror fans should relish what's delivered here because movies like this don't come along very often these days and it's a bonus that it was even made in the first place.
I'd welcome another, just trim that runtime.
Hellraiser (2022)
Well done.
I've been waiting a long time for a decent sequel, I don't think I've enjoyed any since Hellseeker, which itself was just a different version of Inferno.
Some minor issues, at times it strays a bit into slasher territory for my liking and pinhead didn't really have any of the quotable lines about pain and suffering but I can't ingore the fact that they've gone and replaced Doug Bradley and I didn't hate it.
So yeah, easily the most effort that's been put into a Hellraiser movie since Bloodline and I hope they get a chance to deliver another installment because I'll be watching it on day one.
Samaritan (2022)
It would be easy if only bad people did bad things...
You know this was so close to being a good movie.
It needed more Rambo level violence, basically all the action scenes lacked a punch, I don't think I seen one person get cut. Stallones character was bottling up so much rage so to just resort to mainly pushing people was a bit of a letdown.
My main issue was with the bad guy though, I had no idea what his plan was, or why he was motivated to do it.
I'd pretty much given up on him as soon as regular people on the street start clapping him and following him into some kind of cult, who wrote that nonsense.
Anyway I'll end on the positives, it was a good idea for a movie and Stallone was great as a haunted has been hero.
Prey (2022)
Finally.
A Predator movie that can stand alongside the first two movies.
I walked out of the last Predator movie at the cinema, so this came as a complete suprise that it was actually good.
Sometimes the way forwards is to simply go back to basics.
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Dissapointed.
I think Ragnorak might be my favourite Marvel movie, so it's a shame how poor this movie was.
Most of the comedy landed flat, and it's like watching two different movies when Thor can go from a complete idiot to giving a serious cancer prep talk. The balance was all over the place.
So, good points, Bale was great but wasted with minimal screen time and Russel Crowe was fun as Zeus.
Maybe they need to slowdown on the Marvel releases because the quality is starting to diminish.
Men (2022)
Rare misfire for Garland.
To be fair when I seen it was an A24 movie I should have expected it to be a weird, arty movie that made zero sense.
I usually enjoy Alex Garland though so I put my doubts aside. Waste of 2 hours.
Interceptor (2022)
Girl doesn't look like she could fight a cold.
Bad acting but the action could have given it a pass if it wasn't for the amount of disbelief you need to suspend watching the girl win fights.
Nothing against women in action movies but she was the wrong choice here.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Dropped a star for the last 10 minutes.
The incompetence in the last 10 minutes was borderline comical and it just frustrated me.
Putting that aside it was a better movie than I expected and quite enjoyable.
Scream (2022)
Just kill it already...
Is it normal to have a single patient in a hospital and nobody else? Maybe if they stopped building hospitals for individual patients then the US could lower healthcare prices.
Why is Screamface the most useless killer in slasher movies? Every attempt to fend him off with the weakest force results in him doing a comical back flip. Don't get this amatuer hijinx with Jason or Freddy.
So anyway I didn't enjoy it because it was so dumb.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
Wow.
Awful, really bad.
The good? Some nice gore.
The bad? Literally everything else, whoever wrote this script should never write a script again. The bar for Chainsaw sequels was already low, so I guess it's some kind of achievement to lower it further.
WandaVision (2021)
Enjoyable
It's refreshing to have something different, although I felt the first two episodes dragged the gimmick on a bit too long.
The chemistry between the Wanda and Vision was great, you can see why they got the first TV series.
At the end of it all, my biggest surprise was Russia having DVD box sets over 20 years ago.
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Almost redeemed itself.
So in my opinion the series peaked at S4, but I can always find some fun in any Dexter series and this one was probably the best since 4.
That ending though was bad. I'm not against that being how it ends for Dexter but the setup and timing was poorly managed.
For a start, I don't know why he needed to escape prison when they had nothing solid on him, he would have been out in no time.
Secondly his son went from loving his dad, to doing what he did in the blink of an eye.
The series has limped away leaving a bad taste for a second time.
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Script by way of marketing department...
Why do they need to dumb everything down?
As someone rightly pointed out, in the original it took 3 men to take down Slimer. In this it takes one little kid who has just found a proton pack to take down a more dangerous ghost.
I loved Ghostbusters 1 and 2 as a child, they didn't need to dumb things down back then to appeal to me.
Honestly it just left me depressed at the lack of creativity these days, everything feels like a cash grab first and a script second.
Pretty much all the characters could have been dropped from the movie apart from the young girl and it wouldn't have made a difference.
There's massive plotholes, it's just a sad affair all round.
I wish Dan Akroyd would have got a good 3rd movie, sadly this isn't it.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Badly written characters...
So I researched this after giving it 2/10 15 years ago.
The original is one of my favourite movies and this started well, and it's gained a bit of a cult reputation since its release so I was wondering why I gave it a low score.
It takes about 20 minutes before you realise most of the characters are idiots who insist on doing the dumbest things and just leave you frustrated.
So yeah, my original score still stands.
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
Better than the last but dissapointing...
They really need to drop the cult nonsense.
Just go back to the creepy haunted house idea from the first three movies and keep it simple.
The series started going downhill after the 3rd for a reason.
V/H/S/94 (2021)
I enjoyed the Robot one.
I could take or leave the others but the Robot segment was enjoyable. The segment connecting them all together was pretty useless, overkill on the VHS effect too.
Creepshow (2019)
Awful yet I've watch 3 series of it.
I don't understand how this manages to be worse on every level than the horror compendiums of the 80s. Effects, script, acting, all terrible.
I also don't understand why I continue to watch it. I guess it comes with being a horror fan and taking whatever scraps are available.
Candyman (2021)
Not a patch on the original.
I like that they continued the story from the original and yeah I guess it was better than the sequels but it just fell apart towards the end.
Plus it never really had Candyman in it, just some generic uncharasmatic creep.
Do better.
Don't Breathe 2 (2021)
Loved it.
Blind Rambo.
I actually think I preferred it to the first one which I also thought was a great movie.
Does it need a 3rd? No. But it didn't really need a second and this suprised me so I'll happily watch another after this.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (2021)
Has this been cut?
I've literally just watched charge 20 people who where running at him, he hit 2 of them and then turned to his mate and asked if he's done.
Then they go.
What is this mess?
The Green Knight (2021)
Why do I watch A24 movies?
They all sound great, the trailers all look great.
Yet everyone I find a chore to watch. Not much happening, drags on too long, so many long lingering shots of nothing.
It's an arty thing I guess. There's a certain type of audience that these are made for and I need to accept it's not me, no matter how good their next trailer looks.
F9 (2021)
Ouch, easily the worst.
They need to tone down the comical near misses and get a better action director.
"How in hell are you not dead?"
That was pretty much a question I was asking all the way through this Loony Tunes movie.