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Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Good, but not quite PULP FICTION (SPOILERS)
KILL BILL: VOLUME 1 (2003) *** (D: Quentin Tarantino) - Uma Thurman is great in her role as a vengeful femme fatale in a film that's good, if not great. PULP FICTION was better, but KILL BILL VOL. 1 still has much of the vintage Tarantino style that fans devour. It's fun, but uneven and disjointed. I'd just like to take a moment to praise the opening scene of the film; it's positively brilliant and compelling.
The action sequences deliver the goods but perhaps push the credibility factor somewhat (I had a tough time accepting that Thurman alone could so easily defeat an army of sword-wielding Asians!), and I could have done without the cartoon segment. Other than that, the fight scenes were entertaining if bordering on overkill at times. In fact, as for the controversy surrounding Miramax's decision to split the film into two parts... while I did have a good time for 90 plus minutes or so, I'm ultimately glad they did it; I for one was ready for Intermission Time by the end of the picture.
Panic Room (2002)
Holds your interest
PANIC ROOM (2002) *** (D: David Fincher) - Jodie Foster and her daughter (for a long time you think she might be a boy) take refuge in a secured "panic room" when intruders break into their ritzy new apartment. At first it's easy to be put off by the foul-mouthed kid and typical modern movie nonsense (like needing to show mom taking a p***). Though the film is too long (of course) it ultimately holds your interest and is suspenseful. Forest Whitaker makes a positive impression as one of the thugs with a soft heart.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Descends into silliness
DRACULA 2000 (2000) ** (D:Patrick Lussier) - The film starts off with some interesting elements, including a still-living Van Helsing (played nicely by Christopher Plummer) who manages to keep Dracula locked in the deep cellars of a building, inside a vault. A nice feeling of old-time continuity gradually descends into stupid dialogue and jokey teens, unfortunately. It's also sinful how endless blatant plugs for "Virgin Records" pop up everywhere. A new origin is attempted for Dracula but it's a dumb one if admirable for effort. And of course, Dracula today must look like a modern long-haired sexy hunk, which is yet another mistake.
Blade II (2002)
The epitome of what's wrong with today's horror films
BLADE II (2002) (BAD) (D: Guillermo del Toro) - Everything is wrong with this mess, and typical of recent films in the horror genre: All action and SFX, nothing else. And this time the computer effects are insultingly bad...the characters do nothing but fight each other with what resembles artificial Computer Game People plugged in every so often, looking fake and cartoonish. This film is very long and very mind-numbing and boring, despite the nonstop action pounding all around you. Ugly, dark and dingy, with uninteresting characters everywhere and lousy rap "music" thrown in regularly for extra bad measure. This crap is the epitome of all I despise in motion pictures today.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Who needs SFX and big budgets?
BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, THE (1999) **1/2 (D: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez) - Made cheaply for around $60,000, this succeeds as a novelty using a camcorder and a noble return to "suggestive old time horror". Proves you don't necessarily need a large budget and special effects to make an effective little horror flick. Tries to scare its audience rather than dazzle them, and pretty much accomplishes that.
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Pass (Spoilers)
DEEP BLUE SEA (1999) *1/2 (D: Renny Harlin) - "JAWS meets THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE," with none of those films' talent. Experimental lab sharks go berserk undersea. Some decent attacks, including the surprise early death of one of the main characters - but LL Cool J gets in the way with his comical antics.
Lake Placid (1999)
Decent attack scenes amidst intrusive comedy
LAKE PLACID (1999) ** (D: Steve Miner) Lame... it's "comedy vs. horror" in this combo of JAWS and GRIZZLY. Bridget Fonda is whiny and miscast as a crocodile expert. Oliver Platt is an obnoxious croc worshipper who cracks jokes every hundred frames or so. Betty White plays the local town screwball. Worth a look for a few decent crocodile attack scenes, but the ever-intrusive comedy is always lurking around the corner to smooth out all the potentially rough edges.
Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)
Another contender for Worst Film of All Time
PHANTASM IV: OBLIVION (1998) (BAD) (D: Don Coscarelli) - It's hard to be sure, but this is probably the worst of this series. Totally illogical and confusing, and even the beloved metal sphere provides nothing. Outtakes and un-used footage from the original PHANTASM are incorporated into what amounts to a nonsensical mess. One of the worst films I have ever seen, period.
The Astronaut's Wife (1999)
Mediocre ending blemishes an otherwise good picture
ASTRONAUT'S WIFE, THE (1999) *** (D: Rand Ravich) - Fine acting and camerawork; Johnny Depp is outstanding as a would-be alien husband, impregnating beautiful wife Charlize Theron with twins. A typically mediocre ending blemishes an otherwise good movie.
Disturbing Behavior (1998)
Good idea; bad execution
DISTURBING BEHAVIOR (1998) *1/2 (D: David Nutter) - Good idea, bad execution. Scientist tries to turn 1990's teens into model kids from the good ol' 1950's. Would be great if they could succeed one day. The premise fails here because the 90s kids are supposed to be the "good guys" we root for, yet the truth is they're scarier than their transformed 50s friends!
The Faculty (1998)
Surprisingly good
FACULTY, THE (1998) *** (D: Robert Rodriguez) Surprisingly effective update of the BODY SNATCHERS theme, set in a high school where alien parasites take control over teachers and other authority figures. Not a new idea by any means, but seems fresh and interesting with a good cast and minimal 90s silliness to make the difference - and no setup for a sequel!
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Immature and confusing; then again, I'm no STAR WARS fan
STAR WARS EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM MENACE (1999) *1/2 (D:George Lucas) - Immature and confusing, but then again I'm not a fan of the STAR WARS franchise anyway. Jar Jar Binks gets on my nerves; the new kid actor displays little flair for the craft and is unconvincing as a youthful Darth Vader; Liam Neeson and his partner make for a good team; the villain is good albeit too short-lived. But the good points are lost in a maze of whirling SFX and muppet-like creatures, with minimal attention paid to a storyline. At the time of its release even diehard fans were disappointed.
Blade (1998)
Not too bad
BLADE (1998) **1/2 (D:Stephen Norrington) - Wesley Snipes plays it fairly straight. Kris Kristofferson is well-used as the mentor of the half-vampire Blade. Stephen Dorff makes for a good villain, and Udo Kier is even on hand as a member of the Undead. A dark, solid action film (like BATMAN '89). Its liabilities include too many vampire obscenities and those typically awful CGI effects.
Apocalypse domani (1980)
No cannibals, really
CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE (1980) * (D: Antonio Margheriti) - Poor film... no cannibals, really - just John Saxon and Vietnam ex-POW's gaining an uncontrollable urge to bite people in Atlanta. Lots of blood, good effects, but unsatisfying. Doesn't clue us in as to how these people develop their "illness," except that they were POW's. Also, when people get bit they develop the same systems; and we don't feel sorry for these victims because now they're also predators.
Victor Frankenstein (1977)
Zzzzzzzz
TERROR OF FRANKENSTEIN (1975) * (D: Calvin Floyd) - aka VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN; a faithful adaption of the original novel which defies you to stay awake. The monster is decidedly quite non-monstrous. Excruciatingly boring.
Theatre of Blood (1973)
One of Price's all time Best
THEATER OF BLOOD (1973) ***1/2 (D: Douglas Hickox) - A perfect blend of comedy and graphic horror, deliciously served up my horror master Vincent Price. He portrays a vengeful actor who's out to murder his critics, and it's a delight to see Diana Rigg as his daughter/assistant. One of Price's best Ever.
La noche de Walpurgis (1971)
Sluggish but interesting
WEREWOLF SHADOW (aka THE WEREWOLF VS THE VAMPIRE WOMAN) (1970) **1/2 (D: Leon Klimovsky) - Most fans consider this the best of Paul Naschy's werewolf films. It's slow and dull much of the time, although there are many nice scenes with the werewolf and decent effects, too. It has a beautiful atmosphere and mood in some sequences, particularly the vampire ones. Nice ingredients amidst a sluggish pace.
Strait-Jacket (1964)
No Surprises Here
STRAIT-JACKET (1964) ** (D: William Castle) Robert (PSYCHO) Bloch must have phoned in this dull script which makes no effort at surprising us. It's totally predictable. Joan Crawford gives a good performance and is a striking figure in black wig and flowery dress, swinging her axe - but that's all.
Homicidal (1961)
Good shock opening, anyway (SPOILERS)
HOMICIDAL (1961) **1/2 (D: William Castle) - The surprise opening sequence is an effective shocker. One of the most powerful I've ever seen, actually. Too bad it doesn't pay off as significant for the rest of the film, though. Made by director Castle as a tribute to PSYCHO but feels more like a cash-in. Generally pretty predictable, but there are a few frightening/shocking bits here and there (such as the decapitation shadow).
Circus of Horrors (1960)
Well-done Horror
CIRCUS OF HORRORS (1960) *** (D: Sidney Hayers) - Good, solid British horror about plastic surgeon Anton Diffring facially altering murderers and prostitutes and then using them as his circus performers. When they try to leave, he kills them via various circus "accidents". Diffring is very good and although nothing exceptional, it's a good, straight horror film and well done.
The Curse of the Cat People (1944)
Pretty, but what's the point?
CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE, THE (1944) ** (D:Robert Wise, Gunther Von Fritsch) Not a horror film, but a fantasy about the child of the couple from the original CAT PEOPLE and her imagined invisible friends. Nice shots and effects and pretty to look at ... but what's the point?
Pardon My Sarong (1942)
So-So A & C
PARDON MY SARONG (1942) ** (D: Erle C. Kenton) - So-so Abbott and Costello which suffers badly from too many musical numbers once more that have a tendency to pull you right out of the movie. Highlights include William Demarest as a frustrated cop hot on the duo's trail and some very gorgeous island girls.
Vampyr (1932)
A Bronzed Bore
VAMPYR (1931) *1/2 (D: Carl Theodor Dreyer) - Beautifully atmospheric, drawing the viewer into a ghostly, dream-like world. Unfortunately it's a classic case of "all style but no substance", with a tendency to be incoherent and in search of true meaning... a young man "seems" to be involved with two sisters, one of whom seems to be the victim of a vampire. A Bronzed Bore.
Mondo Keyhole (1966)
Ultimately Unsatisfying
MONDO KEYHOLE (1966) * (D: Jack Hill, John Lamb) Black and white sleaze film about a husband who ignores his wife and winds up a rapist. Cheap, but contains some artsy dream sequences; ultimately unsatisfying - and no skin - for what it's worth.
Confessions of a Psycho Cat (1968)
Enjoyable-Enough take on THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
CONFESSIONS OF A PSYCHO CAT (1968) ** (D: Herb Stanley) Enjoyable-enough take on "The Most Dangerous Game" has an insane woman inviting three men to her NYC apartment and offering each $100,000 if they survive 24 hours in Manhattan with her hunting them down. Wild sex and orgy scenes are utilized to pad things out. Interesting to see shots of NYC, spotting familiar landmarks like the Dakota building.