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Bullet Train (2022)
Bland Train
I was so excited for this but I'm very disappointed. This feels incredibly unoriginal, the humour falls flat, there's two of the most annoying characters and it just feels overly cringy with what it does. The only good things are the fight scenes the cinematography is great there and there's a good amount of gore.
It just really didn't need to be 2 hours long because at times it drags. The writing seems to think that if you just write a few jokes and just keep repeating them that, that will be hilarious. It just gets very irritating. I honestly thought I was going to love this but just really didn't find myself finding anything that was truly enjoyable.
Lightyear (2022)
Fun enough
Beautiful animation, a fun little story, moments that are actually tense and Chris Evans works very well as Buzz Lightyear as the voice acting does sound very like Buzz. Also SOX the robot cat was perfect and my favourite thing about this. It may not be Pixar's best and it does slow down at times where I felt some bits could've been cut, however this is still a very enjoyable time. It was really interesting to see Pixar pretty much do a Sci-Fi Action movie.
Charli XCX: Alone Together (2021)
A documentary with a real rawness
Charli XCX is one of my favourite artists and it's amazing to see behind the scenes of her making her album "How I'm Feeling Now" during lockdown. It's also a documentary that shows she really cares about her fans. Instead of having this filmed with a big camera crew, it's just Charli and two other people filming on handy cams. It gives a real rawness to it and I think that's what made this work so well.
Malignant (2021)
Wish the rest of the movie had been as good as the finale
I'm not completely sure how to review this, it's not bad, it's not great, it's just average really but still there's a lot I like about it but there's also a lot that I thought was really bad.
First off there are too many very laughable moments that took me out, some weird music choices and some dodgy acting. But the horror elements there's some great moments, especially with its homage to Giallo with what's going around, down to the coat and gloves this thing wears. What's annoying though is that it sort of loses steam at one point. Completely slows down and almost feels parody with something it does. It then pulls the carpet out from under us and gives a ridiculous over the top finale that is incredibly gory and made me understand exactly why it's an 18. But this also had me wondering why couldn't the rest of the film have been this fun?! There is a reveal that completely surprised me though and I didn't see coming.
James Wan is a director I've always really enjoyed, I feel this is his weakest though and it's a mash together of three of his films, Saw, Insidious and The Conjuring. Saw because of the music it does at points (One song that keeps playing throughout even sounds like a remix of the Saw theme) , the detective side of the story and some of the places it chooses to film in along with the cinematography. Insidious because it does the whole shot of house with fog around it and has a scene where someone is put in a trance to go to another place. And The Conjuring for its haunted house element.
It does feel like quite a lot of the film is random scenes meshed together, but I can't deny that I did have fun with the finale and it sort of made the wait for it worth it! I just wish the rest of the film had been as good as that finale.
Ku bei (2021)
Over the top and brilliant
The Sadness is one of the most over the top, ridiculous films I have ever seen. I couldn't believe how gory this got. It's absolutely wild and I loved it so much. It's utterly disturbing too with some of the things it does. Just when you think it can't get anymore disturbing it ups that completely. It's fast paced, as soon as everything hits it just gets outrageous and it is brilliant. With it being full pedal to the metal and being incredibly stressful and tense. There's a moment it slows down and it's good to have this moment so you can have a breather before we get pulled back in and punched straight in the face with the extreme scenes and buckets of blood. The Sadness does have many horrific scenes and it's some of the most shocking stuff I've seen in some time. It is though one of the most brilliant Horrors I've seen recently, it's so well made, never holds back with how far it will go and keeps you on the edge throughout. I can't wait to watch this again!
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
So very bland
Wonder Woman 1984 is so bland. I honestly didn't expect it to be one of the worst films I've seen this year and I've seen some utter crap.
The whole story is one we've seen before. It's a film that doesn't actually really focus on Wonder Woman. An hour in hardly anything had happened and then when we do finally get a big fight it's just so rushed and isn't exciting in the slightest.
After loving the first film I expected this to be amazing and bring the excitement of the first film again. It's up there with DC's worst films sadly. There's also quite a few questionable moments in here. A messy script, all over the place acting, a villain who isn't really a villain, dodgy CGI and an ending that left me wondering if I really want to see another Wonder Woman film or another DC film.
Dangerous to Know (2020)
There is nothing redeeming about this
Right from the start the sound design is horrible, a loud score stops you from hearing the characters, there's some horrendous dubbing that took me right out of the film, there's a scene where two guys are driving around and there's no sound of the car driving just the dubbed talking of these two guys.
I felt like I was watching this years The Room when watching this. Everyone feels like they are looking at their script when talking, there's too much cringy acting and to add all that into the runtime makes it painful to watch.
Someone needed to tell Simpson to cut 2 hours off this film because nobody wants to sit through how long this is.
Death of a Vlogger (2019)
Potential but becomes laughable
This starts really well, it's effective and creepy but then completely loses it. It's found footage but we get some of the most unnatural acting, it's almost as if people are reading straight from the script at points. Everything becomes way too obvious in the end, just the way shots are set up to leave a gap where you know something is going to appear. There's also a point where what's ever haunting this guy runs at him and they are wearing the most obvious wig.
This does so much of what we've already seen before and borrows from a lot of other films. I really wish it had just stuck to how the opening was and didn't turn into what it did. It had potential but ruined it with the things it did, especially it's abrupt ending where it felt like they didn't know how to end this so just rushed wrote an ending.
House Shark (2017)
An hour and 52 minutes long!
Who thought this should be an hour and 52 minutes long?!?
Ghostland (2018)
Bland...
What starts out as what could've been a great home invasion movie, turns into something bland and basic that we've seen already many times before. Sadly I don't think Pascal Laugier is going to make anything as brilliant as Martyrs again.
Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1 (2013)
Distasteful, horrible film, this is not what Troma use to be.
Tonight I saw this film. A film I was excited for. I thought Class of Nuke 'Em Hight was a fun film. And them revisiting this I thought would be really great. Right now I'm going to say it straight, I'm not going to just bullshit and say I thought this film was good. It's not good, it's horrible, it's so very bad. And people are going to say "Oh Troma films are meant to be bad" Yes I know that, but this film is offensive and again don't say "Troma films are meant to be offensive, you just got too offended" No. I know these films are meant to be that way, but this film pushed it way too far and was just horrible and disgusting.
Here's why:
This film does jokes that it may think itself are funny, but they are not.
Farts are the one thing that was just not funny about this film. You hear one in the first five minutes, and then throughout the whole film, stupid annoying fart noises are thrown in and I'm thinking to myself "What are we ten years old?" Do the makers really think that an audience will seriously think fart noises every ten minutes or so will make the audience laugh loads? No it's just childish and stupid and was so annoying. But that is the least of the offensive things about this film.
A school shooting joke
Yeah that is right, the writers thought they were so funny by putting in a school shooting joke. No. Here's how the scene goes, all the students are in the cafeteria and then you hear a load of guns shooting, and one student stands up and goes "Don't worry it's just a school shooting, happens all the time! CNN don't even report them anymore" This joke was disgusting and wasn't needed and these type of jokes are never funny.
Movie Theatre Shooting joke
The gang in the film first beat up a woman, and then the leader of the gang then goes "Lets go and shoot up a movie theatre" Writers what the hell were you thinking? Why did you think it was alright to write this in? This is a horrible and disgusting joke, and another one that was not needed. I've lost a lot of respect for the writers and director over this.
Race jokes
There's one scene where a character walks on scene and he's a black character. His name comes up on the screen and underneath him it says "He's black" all the other characters do actually have something written about them and the writers chose to write this. Another race joke is where it stereotypes black people and one character goes "You can't even walk about this neighbourhood in a hoody and eating skittles without getting shot" and another character replies with "You're talking about black people" No this was distasteful and unfunny.
Rape Jokes
There's three in this film. One where such a thing as "Duck rape" happens. A woman has a duck stabbed into her mouth, this wasn't funny and was just stupid. Another scene where a woman with a giant penis says the line "This isn't duck rape, this is dick rape" and then slaps a guy round the face with her giant dick. Yeah that happens and once again is not funny. And another scene at a party where a guy goes "Maybe if I find a girl drunk enough here, she'll sleep with me" I know this scene doesn't say the word rape in here, but it was putting that across and it was disgusting.
This film is just disgusting, distasteful and tries too hard to be shocking. It's a shame when I had respect for Troma for being a great independent studio that have survived and been around for so long. I just feel that this shouldn't have been made, and this is only Volume 1. Volume 2 is out next year, set straight after the end of this. Lets just hope that isn't as disgusting and disrespectful as this!
The Being (1981)
The Being is one of the worst 80's horror films.
The only reason I checked out this film and bought it on VHS is because I saw a poster for it in The Monster Squad. I thought that it was going to be really good, but no was I highly wrong. One of the worst 80's horrors I have ever seen. You don't see the monster enough, and when you do all your pretty much see is it's mouth or arms. The acting was very weak, the people didn't even seem like they were trying. Some of the gore was alright in this, but this was just a big let-down of a monster horror film. I found myself getting very bored when the same monster attack kept happening over and over again, and the victim always had the same reaction. There's some strange dream sequence at one point, that was so pointless and stupid and really didn't need to be in the film. A very bad disappointing 80's horror, that I really thought was going to be good. If you're ever thinking about watching this film don't bother!