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MrCaine
Reviews
The Funhouse (1981)
The Dullhouse
Not enough personality or quality craftsmanship in this snoozefest. It takes forever for something to happen and even when it does you're still stuck with completely throwaway characters and plot. ChatGPT could've written this dialogue and characters under prompt:"generic 80's horror,with no personality though"
About 45 minutes into the damn thing (that's only 96minutes long) with very little atmosphere or build up before that too,as if things weren't bad enough it finally FINALLY turns into a slasher film. Too bad I'm nearly falling asleep by that point to care even if it suddenly became the greatest slasher film ever.
But it doesn't as kills are underwhelming and there's little tension or fun to be had.
I think a 3/10 is extremely generous for this pile of nothing,nowadays there's probably better slashers made every month of the year.
Deathgasm (2015)
Audiences will gasm
The constraints of low budget are felt and the acting is a bit stiff too but there's clearly passion at play here. The awesome gore and very Evil Dead-esque camework doesn't get tiring and the humor is pretty on point. Pure stupid fun.
Blood Machines (2019)
Should have been a music video
Appallingly bad dialogue,cookie cutter tropes and some overdirected performances all played dead straight for 50minutes. As a piece of storytelling it's simply terrible,but the effects look cool and well made and Carpenter Brut's music slaps. It'll give it a 5 for those as a pity score cause otherwise this is really dull and pathetic to watch.
Space Cop (2016)
An exercise in ironic detachment and money embezzlement
You can't make a 'so bad it's good' movie on purpose and have it be good. Jay Bauman and Mike Stoklassa said that but I guess they both forgot about it.
Space Cop is a comedy that manages to not land 99% of it's jokes. Pure non-medy as Rich Evans would put it. This movie is utterly miserable to watch. An exercise at ironic detachment,too afraid to have even a single moment showcasing genuine vision or ambition or at least effort and passion.
With this excrement of a movie,RLM joins the ranks of countless other youtuber movie critics who can criticize other people's genuine attempts at entertainment/art but are too afraid themselfs to make anything other then an overlong&unfunny youtube skit,masquerading as something cinematic.
Where did all that money earned from Patreon go? To fund their alcoholism probably. But hey you too can pay 25$ for a Blu-Ray copy of this movie and watch a testament of contempt these losers have towards the audience that allowed them be youtube celebs for a living!
STAYFARAWAY/10