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Reviews
La sociedad de la nieve (2023)
Beautifully shot but totally unnecessary retelling of this amazing story
Alive is one of my favourite movies and Society of the Snow retells this tragic and incredible story in almost the same way but with less of the dark humour, poignancy and character development of the original movie.
I went into this open minded. It hits a beat, for sure. It just feels like it was totally pointless making it again. There are some lovely visuals and a few touching scenes but I never quite hits the levels that Alive does, which reduces me to tears every single time I watch it.
Enjoyable and important nonetheless for a new generation to understand what human survival really means.
Another Earth (2011)
Literally no idea why this has an above average rating
I am going to struggle to type enough to explain myself but I will try: I didn't engage with the characters and whilst I watched the whole thing I admit to falling asleep part of the way through because the story wasn't compelling, the characters had little to no chemistry and the pacing was all off.
The first 10 minutes kind of set things up nicely but it very quickly became quite pedestrian and whilst I won't ruin it for the many who may watch and (gulp) 'enjoy' it, I didn't find it was enough to sustain my interest. Disappointing as I wanted and expected more from the movie. Hey ho, they can't all be great, right?
The Babadook (2014)
Creepy and atmospheric, emotionally driven yet lacking
I have been meaning to watch this for years as I know it is hailed as a modern classic Horror movie. Its got its good points which make it slightly above average as a rating: casting and performances are good but it just lacks that extended sense of dread or payoff that would make it a longer lasting memory for me as a movie. There's some good elements in here for sure, and I like the way it is shot. I think there could have been more here and linking it to themes of grief and loss should really help the story more than it does, yet it doesn't have the overall power of some of the films it draws from in the genre that are, frankly, stronger. I am not sure I'll remember this much after viewing and that says a lot.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Just dreadful
I have waited a few weeks and had a few run throughs of this movie to allow it to settle. I am a die hard fan of the Halloween franchisee and all of the movies contribute something to the canon. Even Halloween 3 as a stand-alone story.
HOWEVER this is a mess. I am offering two stars purely for the last 10 mins or so as at least it does END.
I believe there was another rejected script which I already think they've regretted not using.
This is truly awful and diverts from central characters to create an unnecessary and in engaging story arc which ultimately is pointless.
I truly hope Halloween is either left to rest permanently now but I know it will reboot as the industry is apt to do. Just please put it in more capable writing hands as David Gordon Green can direct...just not with an abortion of a script!
Such a shame....
It Follows (2014)
Forget Smile, watch this!
If you're going to build tension the right way with an innovative take on the 'curse' Horror, then It Follows does it.
The film is well shot, brilliantly paced and you feel the struggle of Jay as the main character trying to understand and escape the horror she has had bestowed upon her by a stranger.
The movie has a strong core of characters who as friends try and support Jay through her struggles but also are somewhat distanced from it as it is not their reality. She's living it, and the visual imagery and threat are hers and hers alone, so despite this support she's still truly isolated.
Until the moment of reckoning.
Great film, and what Smile clumsily does this avoids and creates a whole turn of its own without needing gore, jump scares or too many special effects to leave you feeling quite simply disturbed.
Smile (2022)
Above average but only just
I was hoping for a really innovative horror here, especially after a friend had seen it and said it scared the crap outta her.
Aside from one less obvious jump scare I wasn't really frightened at any point. I think the movie does two things right and two wrong.
The two right things are building tension slowly and creating a really nice aesthetic with clever camera work.
The two wrong things were what broke it for me. Firstly, I couldn't get over seeing Kumar from Harold & Kumar / American Pie and take him seriously in a film of this nature. Casting fail.
Secondly, using mental health as the thread for the storyline really diminishes the power of it for me as MH is real and very personal for people. Despite trying to hook the protagonists story into this by virtue of her job and her own struggles, it just felt wrong.
Shame, as parts of this had promise but - as others have said - it dragged a bit in the middle and the ending was also disappointing.
There's been better but there sure as hell has been worse. That's Horror for you!
Monster (2022)
Well acted, insightful and scary...but LONG!!!
I loved Evan Peters' phenomenal portrayal of Geoff Dahmer. So menacing and sad in many ways.
The sets and feel of the show was beat perfect, from the aesthetics to the lighting and cinematography which was suitably bleak as a portrayal of Dahmer's life and environment, both growing up and as an adult.
However - and this is a BIG however - the series could have easily been condensed into 5-6 episodes and I really felt it dragged. I lost interest and considering he's a very compelling person this was disappointing. Sorry, but these stories need to be approached with a better Editors eye on them to be successful in the Netflix format.
Trainwreck: Woodstock '99 (2022)
What did they expect?!!
I don't understand how the organisers didn't see this coming a mile off.
Booking bands like Korn, Limp Bizkit, Marilyn Manson et al to insight the anger and rage already brewing within, allowing 200,000+ kids on site in the searing heat without adequate water or sanitation, over-charging on food and low-balling security and drug controls?!!
Welcome to every 90's and 00's festival I attended. This isn't special. All it proves is that it needs better organisers, less corporate greed and customer-centric approaches to be taken.
I experienced similar 'meltdowns' every year at Reading Festival with the customary 'angry mob' on Sunday night burning tents and vandalising everything in sight.
Security couldn't handle it or didn't give enough of a crap as they were underpaid.
Kids are d*cks. I can say that cos I was one. This isn't new news.
It is hilarious to think they thought they could pull this off without a hitch.
It's the multiple rapes that always upset me, and many will have never been reported.
We HAVE to make festivals better, more affordable and safer for organisers, customers and performers as this doesn't feel like it'll be an isolated documentary if we don't.
Resident Evil (2022)
Oh no...
Got bored very quickly, watched until end EP2 just to try and see if it would get better. It didn't. Clumsy reboot. Avoid, and if you're a fan just watch the original movies.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
If you want a carbon copy of the first film....
...together with slightly better aerobatics, no real character development, parallel plot lines, no real love story or anything of substance other than the TC show, then it's fine.
It's mostly fine for nostalgia and that's it.
As a stand-alone film it's nothing more than okay.
It gets a 6 just cos it has enough wow factor but I am being generous. I probably won't watch it again.
The Batman (2022)
Oh dear....
I will keep this brief. This is an absolute bin fire of a movie for many reasons, some of which I'll state below:
1. Not a patch on Nolan trilogy. In fact, a good million miles off it. I personally think they should show kids the Nolan films and NEVER try and reboot Batman again. Ever. Move on.
2. The Riddler was neither compelling nor menacing as a villain.
3. Alfred and Commissioner Gordon were awfully miscast and wildly underused.
4. I didn't care about or engage with Selina Kyle/Catwoman and her backstory.
5. Robert Pattinson was a passable Batman....but that's reaching.
6. Some of the set pieces were cool.
7. I got bored. And I didn't even get bored watching Batman and Robin, and we all know what that was like....
The overall ratings are very, VERY flattering to this acrid pile of toss.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
A fitting tribute
If most people who love music were asked the question "which band do you wished you had seen live?" it would be Queen in their pomp.
This film perfectly encapsulates the origins, rise, troubles and end of Queen as an original 4-piece blockbuster rock act.
There will never be another Freddy Mercury. But we will always have the music.
Queen, we salute you!
Stranger Things (2016)
There's literally NOTHING you can hate on here
Stranger Things is simply one of the best things to have ever been created. Part 4 is a continuation of the Duffer Brothers incredible writing and imagination and the story, characters and events all knit together wonderfully.
I'm a nostalgia kid and the 80s styling and music plays to my sensibilities and makes my soul ache.
What a wonderful addition to the story so far.
If you don't get it, I'm so sorry for you because it is such a good programme!
Anatomy of a Scandal (2022)
Miscast and stupid plot ruins it
Rupert Friend is awful. Thank god Sienna Miller balances it out with a brilliant performance which almost saves this drama....
...if it weren't for the fact she doesn't RECOGNISE HER UNI FRIEND WHO HAS CHANGED HER NAME AND IS NOW DEFENDING THE WOMAN WHO ACCUSED HER HUSBAND OF RAPE?!!!
No. No, no, no.
Choose or Die (2022)
Very original. Truly scary.
Thoroughly enjoyable offering from Netflix playing on 80s video game lore.
I'm giving nothing away but it's the most compelling thing I've watched in the Horror genre for a while.
Go see it. ***END TRANSMISSION***
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022)
No no no no NO
What a mess. The characterisation is non-existent, the plot lifeless, and the kills are by the numbers. YES the gore is good (hence my 2 stars) but nothing knits it together. It's an affront to the TCM canon and should never have been green lit.
Holy mother of god...
Doctor Sleep (2019)
I gave it an hour and got bored.
...and I wanted to like it, but the 3 stars are for cinematography only. I just couldn't get into it. I'm not finding the Danny character engaging and I think it was miscast and the cult ...well...whatever. Meh.
The Beatles: Get Back (2021)
Absolutely glorious
The coming together of 4 of the greatest musicians ever and a chance to see them jam, chat, agree, disagree, fall out, make up and make it work. Fundamentally they loved each other and creatively were always stronger together despite their successful solo careers after The Beatles.
I was RIVETED all the way through. Bravo to all the family members for agreeing to let this be made. Bravo Peter Jackson. Bravo Disney Plus. Bravo Apple Corps. But most importantly bravo John, Paul, George and Ringo. You were, are and always will be the best xx.
Cabin Fever (2002)
Thank goodness Eli Roth got better
This is mostly awful. The setup is sort of interesting but it takes over an hour to get even vaguely compelling and then it's just silly. Some of the effects and deaths are okay but that's the best you're getting from me, and I am a Horror genre lover, good and bad. This is bad, nearly from top to bottom.
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)
Knew who the killer was about 5 mins in
So formulaic and derivative. I liked the masks and a few of the kills, but the 'assembled' cast - trying to cover all bases - just felt forced and they were all going through the motions.
I think, given a better vehicle, the female lead may do better movies. She was okay. I'm reaching now though...
Ojing-eo geim (2021)
Boring...
Didn't like the Korean overacting or the premise or the pacing. Got 2/3rds of the way through Ep1 and gave up. Can't see what all the fuss is about and I normally give stuff like this a chance.
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
Dull...
Made it just over half way then turned it off. Boring and formulaic.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
It could have been SO much better
With a cast including Robert Carlyle, Rose Byrne and Idris Elba you'd think this would stand up as a sequel.
Unfortunately it only ranks as slightly above average due to the scattershot writing, set piece camera-jerk action and forgettable sub characters who are just there to be preyed upon and turned.
YES, parts of this were true of the original but it is just a clumsily executed film which could have been a more and wasn't.
Watchable but also disappointing.
Great White (2021)
Pretty dull
Didn't like the characters. Peril wasn't really developed much. Got distracted. Boring. Don't bother...shark was okay...
Split (2016)
Disturbing portrayal of MPD from McAvoy
Quite a phenomenal performance from James McAvoy. Multiple Personality Disorder is real and very misunderstood as a mental illness. It is presented here in a very unsettling way from a number of perspectives.
This film is truly gripping from start to finish and I couldn't look away from the screen.
I can only assume those rating this poorly have no concept of story writing, direction, pacing or even acting, and I'm not sure what they wanted or expected it to be, but I don't really care.
One of the best movies I've watched in a while and I'm only sorry I didn't realise it was around sooner as I think most of M Knight Shyamalan's work is to be lauded and celebrated as original and compelling.
Ignore the haters.