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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
A rushed mess
Stories that make no sense, horrific headache pervasive use of shaky-cam (this filming technique should be banned, frankly) including during basic conversations with still actors, a rushed narrative, characters that had nowhere near enough time to build, characters that were written just to lionize existing franchise names, ridiculous action scenes, utterly nonsensical plot beats, this show had potential and flushed it down the toilet.
There's a point at which 2 main characters openly discuss betrayal in front of an audience, at that point I knew the show runners simply didn't give 2 flying effs about trying to create a competent narrative. They were just moving as quickly as possible to the inevitable Vader Obi-Wan fight.
There's a chase scene involving a child and it'd look bad in a B-movie. It served no purpose either but "oh look it's Leia, she has to be amazing at EVERYTHING" despite being a 10yo child.
All of Vader's dialogue sucked and came across as corny.
And Ewan McGregor's Obi-Wan accent has outstayed it's welcome. He doesn't sound like Alec Guiness. It's just annoying.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Sets a new standard for TV shows in general
I've never played the game. I did not expect to be blown away by Arcane like I was, even after the trailers which are stunning in their own right.
There's a lot of reviews highlighting the awesome things about this series so I'll counter by looking at what's not quite right. It isn't perfect.
I felt some important steps in the story were completely glossed over or skipped out (a particular character spends some years in prison & this is just brushed aside; a whole episode could/should have been dedicated to the ordeal). I really feel it should have been 3x 4 episode acts but I guess budget & scope limitations were in play.
Some of the action/fights scenes are incredible but more than one is undermined by plot armour as seemingly lethal opponents become rather tame once they turn their attentions from fodder to main characters.
These are perhaps minor quibbles. It's certainly one of the best TV shows ever produced - animated or otherwise - and sets a new bar.
Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn (2020)
I feared the worst but it was OK
Watched out of boredom and lack of options due to COVID-19, from the trailer and early reviews I expected to really dislike this film (we watched it because my partner wanted to).
It was actually quite close to being a decent film. Without going into spoilers, some of the isses that went against it:
1) Varying level of quality when it came to the action sequences. Some of the stunt and fight choreography was actually surprisingly good, and certainly I was surprised by Margaret Robbie's capabilities. However, for every "wow" moment there is multiple poor ones, with stunt men passively waiting on being attacked or being knocked out and defeating by moves that clearly were not hurtful (being thrown to the floor seemed to be a fatal blow in this film). The fact that some of the fight sequences were actually very good means this came down to just laziness on the director's part in terms of pushing his crew to get it right.
2) A lot of the script didn't work outside of Harlequinn. In particular, Huntress was awkward and her dialog hard to sit through.
3) There were just some rather dense moments that were puzzling. At one point whilst confronted by an overwhelming force, the female team take a break from fighting to just casually walk out of a building and get shot at. Or another moment when Harlequinn is ambushed at home, and then the people attacking her just seem to disappear for the convenience of the rather thin plot.
It is a fun, wild ride with some laughs and some surprisingly good action. It just came dangerously close to being a good film with a bit more love and attention to detail.
Joker (2019)
Absolutely incredible
This is a masterpiece and will be looked up as such in times to come. Phoenix will rightly get an award for his performance, but it's not just down to him. Everything about the film just oozes class. It is one of those rare films that you leave the theatre content that the producers did everything they could to make the best possible version of the film.
The trailers, for once, didn't give much away. I was on the edge of my seat in the climatic moment of the film as it built up and left you very uncertain in which direction it might turn. I even found some moments bizarrely amusing, laughing so loud that I was glared at - I very, very rarely laugh at films since I became an adult.
For me personally, this is the best film of the decade. I have rarely been through the rollercoaster of thought, emotion, anticipation, and excitement that I experienced during Joker. You almost root for him at points, coming dangerously close to empathising with his plight as he steps over those uncomfortable lines that differentiate the psychopaths from the everyday folk. DC could do much worse than to use this as an opportunity to reboot their current disastrous brand of their comic book universe.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
The Breaking Bad film you never knew you didn't need
Where to begin with this overrated nonsense.
Firstly, if you are going to make this an immediate continuation of the series then at least make the actors make an attempt to be in a similar shape to when they had the role. The worst offender was Todd (Jesse Plemons) who was overweight and looked middle aged, Badger (Matt Jones) could have done with a few workouts as well. Everyone else - aside from the ageless Brian Cranston - looked more wrinkled and had less hair.
Several of the actors sounded like bad impersonations of their original roles, as if they'd just been given the script and asked to do a single take. Badger especially sounded awkward delivering his 'Yo' lines as a middle aged man.
OK, the aging actors playing their younger selves aside, this story added nothing of note that made it a worthwhile addition to the Breaking Bad universe. The series had ended well with Jesse's riding into the proverbial sunset and all it did was add a few wrinkles (excuse the pun) to that other than, arguably, without giving away spoilers, makes his character more ruthless.
A lot of the scenes are drawn out and boring, and they really stretched out the content to fill the running time. This may have just about been worth making had it been done a year or two after the series had finished with the actors still young and fresh enough to reprise their roles properly, but as it is only Aaron Paul does a decent job among the returning actors and that alone is not enough to carry a film that doesn't add anything new to the story other than a few extra details to Jesse's escape.
Spider-Man: Far from Home (2019)
Promising but ultimately flawed
I enjoyed it for what it was. I wouldn't go back to it.
It has a flaw that I just can't overlook. The entire premise of the film is based on Mysterio and the monsters he fights being projections that are backed up by drones.
Yeah, scratch that, unless they have a giant water drone that can punch and drench Peter Parker on a bridge whilst smashing the bricks around him. In order to make a twist believable, they completely undermined the premise of the twist.
I mean, you have to overlook that the projections can cancel out sunlight. Wait, what? That's not how projections work! However to get Spiderman into a world in which he can't trust his own shadow, that's how it is done.
Also the idiotic behaviour of the teachers and classmates was unappealing. This immature approach to comedy that has been foisted into the Marvel universe is getting beyond stale.
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Good but should have been a classic
Let's start off with what it gets right. Alita is amazing. The sets (or CGI scenes) and world in which the film takes place is spectacular. The story is intriguing and drip teases the history behind it to the point that you want to know more. There's plenty to like about Alita: Battle Angel, and it's unlikely you'll come out disappointed with the experience.
However, it's a long way from perfect and that's where the frustrations lie. To start with, the film feels like a lot was left on the cutting room floor and a director's cut will flesh out some of the characters to make them seem more rational. In particular, Chiren (Jennifer Connolly) seemed relegated to being a plot device and her actions never quite made sense because her motivations were not really delved into.
As amazing as Alita was, the other cyborgs failed to escape the uncanny valley feel with the superimposed actors faces never quite seemingly moving with the fluidity that Alita does - in a way her success makes their issues stand out more.
There was just something missing from the narrative. Grewishka is little more than a cartoon villain, and his relationship with Cherin and Vector is barely touched upon yet he seems to have no problem smashing through their windows. It doesn't click at all. There seemed to be 3 parallel storylines (Grewishka, the motorball, and the Hunter Warriors) and the division of labor between the Hunter Warriors and Grewishka meant that neither were adequately developed nor understood. Sometimes less is more and perhaps focusing on a narrower storyline would have helped.
At the centre of the story is Alita's developing relationship with Hugo. It works well until right at the very end, where yet again the character does something that, albeit set up by an earlier statement by the Hugo that he would try to ascend to Zalem, seems completely irrational. His original intention was set out before he falls in love with Alita and they agree to go together, yet he goes on his own without any warning. Again it seems that perhaps some scenes setting up his statement of mind (perhaps some kind of struggles with his new cyborg body) were left on the cutting room floor. It's moments like this that confused me and left me feeling frustrated once the credits rolled.
As it is, I will certainly watch a sequel and hope they make it. It is still a very good experience just not a masterpiece.
Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019)
Imperfect but delivers on the main requirement - monsters
I have balanced my rating between what I, as a skeptical adult with high standards, and my son aged 7 would have given it. He gives it a 10/10 and absolutely adored it. I give it a 6/10 because, whilst the monsters were pretty spectacular and certain moments in the film fairly wonderous, it was a bit messy and had some aspects that I felt really let it down.
As a father, I was disappointed with the inclusion of rude language. Hollywood seems to have long since decided that sh-- is not a bad word when it is not something most parents want in the ears of their kids. The when the f--- word was dropped I was pretty annoyed. It added absolutely nothing to the film, it was completely unnecessary and the film makers surely had to know this film would appeal to kids. It's a film about giant monsters! There was little to no blood in the film too.
That aside, most of the humour fell completely flat. I don't know anybody who thought the Gonorrhea joke was funny so was baffled that they included it. Just cut that line out the scene and the film is better for it. I can only think that it was a pet idea of the director so was kept in the final cut.
There were several tropes that just weren't required and served as annoyances. At one point they exit a plane with the first couple of soldiers being vapourized instantly. I guess it is intended to inject DDay-like battle anxiety in the viewer but it doesn't work at all - firstly there's not enough build up of the emotions the soldiers are experiencing as they arrive at the scene facing almost inevitable doom, in fact they completely gloss over the absolute fear everybody should be experiencing, and secondly because those vapourized soldiers are green screened into the shot we have no reactions at all from the protagonists.
The monsters frankly moved too quickly at times, especially during fight scenes. It detracted from the sense of scale. It was a problem not present in the 2014 Godzilla where the movement was very well judged. There's also a moment in the film where something happens to one of the monsters that is passed off as 'not part of the natural order' but, again, the speed at which it transpires was just far too quick.
There were also several bizarre time and space jumps. Often location changes seemed to involve traveling ridiculous distances in nonsensical times. There's a certain moment in the film when several monsters show up that would have required them to travel half way around the globe in just a few hours.
What they really nailed right in this film, which they got badly wrong in the 2014 film, was the perspective changes during the monster battles. In the 2014 film it was almost entirely from the perspective of people on the ground, which meant you rarely understood what was going on in the fights between the monsters. In King of Monsters the perspective is shared between a proper action camera and the perspective of the protagonists on the ground.
By far the most interesting point of the film was when they go in search of Godzilla, leading to the only really adventurous period of the film, culminating in a moment that should have been quite emotional as a character volunteers for a suicide mission, but I found myself not caring due to the failure to properly build the characters in the film, which was a shame.
Why do I write all these criticisms? Probably because I felt this film could have been a classic. Instead it is a competent monster action film with a better story than the 2014 film but a sub par script and characters (no fault of the actors IMHO).
Mortal Engines (2018)
Pretty bad despite the high production values
If I could sum up this film, I'd say a B movie with AAA production values. The acting is hammy, the plot is thin, the twists are obvious aside from the green eyed monster (arguably the best part of the film since there seemed to be some actual story in it) and very little of it makes sense.
They have massive transforming cities that are ridiculously automated yet don't understand basic electronics? OK then. Characters thrown on screen that we are expected to care about within 10s or so before their death? OK then. It just seems like Peter Jackson had a sandpit and tried to create everything in it rather than one good thing.
I found the musical score to be particularly irritating. This rather average simple tune gets repeated over and over and over again, as if to signal drama or action or something, and it was giving me a headache towards the end of the film such was how frequently it was played. I nearly turned it off at that point and would have done so had I been viewing it alone.
Polar (2019)
A messy, confused, frustrating experience
I struggled to finish watching this film. The casting varies from excellent to absurd. None of the bad guys worked aside from Katheryn Winnick (of Vikings fame). Especially unfunny and terribly cast is Matt Lucas who just detracts from every scene he appears in, there was nothing humourous about his character or his grotesqueness and his believability as some criminal mastermind never gets off the floor.
I know the film is striving to have a comedic tone but the subtler humour offered by Mads Mikkelsen set against his rather dark and serious character is much more effective than the buffoonery that the other side of the story generally offer up.
Mikkelsen and Vanessa Hudgens put in strong performances and when the film focuses on them their story and characters are compelling. Winnick lights up the rather trashy counterpiece scenes, and the transitions between the scenes are as jarring as they are in your face so that further disrupts the enjoyment.
I honestly feel you could remove the footage of bad guys except for Winnick up until they collide with the protagonist (Mikkelsen) and the film would have been better for it. The goofiness and stupidity, the bright colours and bad acting offered nothing than an annoyance.
Outlaw King (2018)
Unfulfilled potential, needed to be a series
The pace of the film is so fast, so much ground is covered, but the characters are largely undeveloped outside of Robert de Bruce.
For all its historical accuracy, it needed to spend less time on making historical subnotes and more time on having us get to know the characters. I think ideally it needed to be turned into a series, so each character could be given the proper development time and we therefore appreciate their importance to the story.
I doubt any viewer could name more than 1 of his brothers, despite there being 5 of them. I could name more of the English than the Scots because the English characters were kept to a minimum (well, 3 really unless you count de Bruce's wife to make it 4).
There's a giant flaw at the end as well. The historical inaccuracy, and common sense with it, is thrown out the window for the finale which undermines the entire film. (Historically, Edward II was not involved in the final battle.)
Narcos (2015)
Not the 8.8/10 series I expected
Narcos has several problems.
The first is that it is overly reliant on narration. Major events are glossed over with narration in the same time it takes 2 lovers to have a pillow talk in a subsequent scene. The pacing therefore is all over the place as sometimes we are going through months of violence in just a few minutes before drawn out discussions typically in Spanish.
The second is that it tries to interweave old footage with the actors. If ever you need reminding that you are watching a recreation, then Narcos is great at throwing the real faces onto the screen to make sure you don't get drawn into the characters on set. Most docu-dramas get around this by recreating the images/scenes then showing their real life counter parts in the credits, and this was defintely a mistake by the producers not to take this approach.
The third, somewhat related to the first, is the pacing. They really missed the chance to make this a proper multiseason drama by covering so much in the 1st season. The first 15 years of Escobar's ascension is in season 1, so season 2 is the final 18 months or so of his life.
The fourth, a direct consequence of the third, is that it's never clear why his men are so loyal. Some obviously are driven by fear, but if anything he doesn't seem particularly threatening in the early episodes and only really alludes to it (by suggesting he knows all about certain policemen's families etc). The series completely fails to address how Escobar became so famously violent. He just "is" from the beginning.
In terms of production, there's nothing you can fault. I just feel it's missed a good opportunity to address the major stages in the evolution and demise of Escobar by trying to cover too much ground in the 1st season. It's like the producers were short sighted when writing the scripts.
The Predator (2018)
Great until it's not so great
This film pleasantly surprised me. I went along with a group of friends more for the company than the end trip to the cinema, and was expecting very little having seen the trailers.
Instead I was treated to laughs, some great action, and a surprisingly half decent story. Unfortunately it starts to fall apart at the end, which is why I had to deduct a couple of stars - the final act starts jumping the shark and has special effects that seem somewhat less polished than in the rest of the film.
If the final act had been better, it would have been a solid 8/10 film that I might revisit. As it is, I'll probably never watch it again.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Falls short of the myths and comics it portrays
Planet Hulk is a good individual film. Yes, it is a cartoon, but despite this it is a much deeper film than Thor Ragnorak, which takes elements of Planet Hulk and stitches them into the Thor movie franchise whilst dispensing with all the bits that made sense.
For example, Jeff Goldblum portrays a dictator who acts like an awkard idiot in a bar. They try to show how ruthless he is by having him melt somebody with a 'melty stick' (a term he actually uses) but even that exchange itself is goofy. More or less the entire film makes as much sense, because more or less everything in the film is used for comedic purposes. They've seen the success of Deadpool and Guardians of the Galaxy and tried to turn Chris Hemsworth's Thor into a similar joke laden jack the lad hero... except he's supposed to be the God of Thunder. He literally cries over his hair being cut FFS.
There's a point at which you see a topless Thor / Chris Hemsworth getting off the floor. He's got a lot of muscle. However, anybody who knows anything about actual practical strength - anybody that watches or trains MMA for example - will see something off in his proportions. Giant pecks, thin neck, for example. It's all show muscle, stuff done with reps in the gym and not stuff done for a purpose other than to look good. That's what Thor Ragnorok is. Instead of doing things in proportion, and doing things for a purpose such as developing the plot and characters, the whole film is geared towards childish humour or CGI action or a combination of both.
If you can switch off completely then you'll probably enjoy it. If you watch more than a moderate number of films then you'll find yourself rolling your eyes more than smiling at the rather forced humour.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
A very good modern interpretation of the Star Trek universe
I really enjoyed the first 3 episodes of Discovery (where the series is up to at time of writing this review).
The visuals are stunning. Absolutely 10/10 for how Discovery looks. I really enjoyed the initial character development of the antagonist, Michael Burnham, to this point. She is conflicted but principled, driven but withdrawn. She is a fascinating character as is how she fits in with the people around her.
Without going into spoilers, she disobeys her captain by landing on an alien device instead of just doing the fly by she was ordered to do, and this is the beginning of a chain of events that sets up the show.
There were a couple of details that didn't make sense which knocked me out of my escapism. Something shining with the light of 1000 suns? No thanks, that's preposterous. There were occasional lines and dialogues that didn't work, and I don't think they did the best job with some of the Klingon scenes despite the brilliant set design and interesting re-imagining of the Klingons.
Overall very enjoyable, and it seemed a lot more grounded and generally balanced than the recent Star Trek films which I thought were vacuous populist action films with little regard for ever making sense or character development.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Falls short of the standards set by the first film
It's hard to go into the details without spoilers but these are the primary reasons I didn't enjoy it as much: - it lost its sense of adventure. GotG was a giant space adventure with a varied and fascinating variety of backdrops. Much of the film is spent on a colourful planet that looks ridiculous rather than interesting.
- in GotG the villain was very villainous and his purpose clear. The villain in Vol 2 is just not that interesting, a bit ridiculous (WTF is that brain thing about?) and heavily CGI reliant.
- the main characters seem to have become these overpowered super heroes capable of hand to hand combat with immense creatures; it lost its sense of scale in this regard and through it any sense of danger.
- the humour is nowhere close to the original; all the funny bits are in the trailer.
It's still not bad. I just felt the original was a great film and this just a half-decent one.
Zoolander 2 (2016)
Avoid - if you want your Zoolander fix, watch the original
Zoolander was a parody of the fashion industry. It was original, well written, packed with jokes and witty moments and flowed brilliantly from one scene to the next. Whilst things were often a bit silly, it always kept it within the bounds of reason which really gave the comedy some grounding.
Zoolander 2 is more like a parody of Zoolander. The jokes that were iconic in the original are recycled repeatedly. Derek's signature look is now done by everybody. The settings, story, or events rarely make any sense. Whereas the original mocked models and showed them being killed, violent events simply pass the characters by in the 2nd film. It is a total mess and rarely funny.
Every time I caught myself starting to enjoy the film, moments later it would pluck me back out of my happy place with something awkward. I am just glad I didn't fork out to see it at the cinema. What a waste of time and effort.
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Hugely disappointing
Yet another film made for the trailer. A crying shame given the material they had to draw from and the incredible production values - which are nothing short of spectacular. If you can totally switch off your brain, you'll enjoy it. If you can't... oh boy...
Let's start with what happens once Finn and Rey escape on the Millennium Falcon. Once they leave the planet, where the First Order star destroyer inexplicably can not or does not track them, they are immediately captured/boarded by Hans Solo and Chewie (plot convenience much?). At the same time, Hans Solo's ship is boarded by not 1 but 2 parties of creditors for a ridiculous corridor stand off. Instead of these creditors being interesting aliens, they are caricature Scottish and Chinese people. Who the hell thought any of this was a good idea? WTF is wrong with the writers? Then some giant alien (released by a clichéd 'oops, wrong button') starts eating everybody... until it grabs Finn, at which point it drags him round the ship until he can be freed because, y'know, who cares about consistency?
Messes like the above plague the film throughout. The scenes rush from one to the next, with action valued above character development or plot flow. Got a plot problem? Throw in some action, hope the audience misses it. This goes right back to the early scenes. Rey and Finn steal the aforementioned Millennium Falcon, to escape First Order troops. With no prior precedent, Rey is suddenly a crack pilot capable of the most ridiculous manoeuvres. Is she a sand rat who struggles to get enough food to eat or is she amazing at everything? Luke Skywalker, the best Jedi of all, was like a fish out of water at the start of the original trilogy and a lot of the first film was devoted to his training. Not here, Rey is amazing from the get go, and learns the force as and when it suits the plot.
The force... this ancient mystical power that can be yielded by certain individuals. It was used sparingly in the original films. Not so here, practically every encounter with Kylo Ren involves it. He can suspend lasers with it! He can read minds. In fact, his abilities basically trample the entire history of the franchise, making a mockery of Darth Vader's pathetic powers.
The First Order were a corny rehash of the Nazis. The speech was so cringe-worthy. The weapon was so over the top that I struggled to comprehend that it could even have been in the books - now a planet sized death star that doesn't just blow up one planet, but an entire solar system _through hyperspace_ i.e. anywhere. Oh, and it eats suns. (Which made it seem a bit of a one shot deal.) Of course, when it blows up a system, it leaves the one planet that our heroes and the rebel base happen to be on (a plot hole so big you couldn't fill it with a death star). Oh, and all science went out the window for the effects - you could see the laser and planets being blown up from the rebel base, the universe's smallest solar system perhaps? I mean, can you see ANY planets with the naked eye in our solar system in broad daylight, let alone ALL of them?
The entire attack on this super weapon planet is just an eye rolling level of awful. I don't think there was a single redeemable moment aside from the critical one - as Ren murders his father - which was rescued by the actors amid the disaster of a script and plot.
Then there's the terribly written scenes on Takodana, or the giant Smeagol 'Snoke' (fittingly voiced by Gollum voice actor Andy Serkis), or the hundreds of other issues that sent my eyes back up into my brain.
By the end of the film, I was so disillusioned with the popular trash that I'd been sprayed with that I was even bothered by the way Luke Skywalker dramatically slowly removed his hood and Rey stood there with the light sabre in her outstretched arm, with that emotional look on her face that the actress can do on demand.
The actors did well with their very limited roles. I was rooting for Rey as portrayed by Daisy Ridley, and John Boyega did a good job with his dreadful lines which got worse and worse to the point of cheesy comedy - a shame given the intrigue of the opening character development, a conflicted storm trooper that escapes then hides his origins. Adam Driver is menacing as Kylo Ren whenever he has the mask on, but he just doesn't have a bad guy face. He needed some scars, something to make him look more than just a cutesy kid who had inexplicable daddy issues. Harrison Ford does as well as can be expected, and even makes you believe a few of his lines towards his demise.
The one exception was Carrie Fisher, who was was dreadful. Leia should have been recast. Whatever charisma she once had is now long gone. In its place is a plastic wooden old woman unable to move her face enough to display any kind of emotion, and who just stood around regurgitating whatever lines she was fed as if she were reading the news.
All in all, it was a gross disappointment. I think one scene summed it up the most - when C3PO (inexplicably with a red arm) and BB-8 look at a dormant R2D2 and C3PO says, "Oh, there's no way Master Luke could have hidden the map in R2D2. He put him in hibernation before he left." Thanks for treating the audience like absolute idiots, and making a film for absolute idiots too. I'll have to read the books. I simply can't believe half the stuff in the film came from them.
Judge Dredd (1995)
An underrated fun film but not for Dredd purists
If you are wedded to the comic books, then you will probably hate this film. That does not make it a bad film - taken in isolation or as a twist on the classic Judge Dredd character, it holds its own. A comic book character that never reveals his face and a film where said character spends 90% of the film with his helmet off will never be compatible.
For everybody else, it is entertaining as long as you don't take it too seriously, and a good enough story to flesh out in a feature length film. There are some seriously fun moments and it belongs to an era of films where special effects did not constitute the majority of the film but rather punctuated the narrative. Without giving spoilers, there's a war robot that is especially fun.
It is by no means perfect. Some of the early scenes are a bit cringe-worthy, sometimes the comic relief is too goofy, and some of the characters are ill conceived and contradict the world they are in. Despite its flaws, it has a charm and personality that seems to have been lost in modern comic book adaptations which seem to be either very serious or slaves to special effects.
Last Knights (2015)
Lazy writing, lazy production, and a waste of talent
Despite the high production values, this seems to be a lowest-common-denominator attempt at a fantasy epic. It is as if somebody wrote down on paper all the elements needed for a great fantasy film but then handed them out to 20 different people and let them all come back uncoordinated. The end result is a mess that few of the actors seem to truly believe in - notably Clive Owen who often seems to be just reading his lines rather than acting them - and trips over itself in attempts to impress instead of just focusing on telling a story in the best possible way.
The medieval setting is not taken seriously. Morgan Freeman uses his standard American accent, a plethora of obviously-not-English characters talk purely in English, and the melting pot of cultures and ethnicities is rarely given much context. It's like they sampled a modern day London high street then threw all those people into medieval garb.
As an Englishman, many of the shooting locations were obvious ruins despite blatantly meant to be not-ruinous. Ruined walls (and in some shots, just the wall outlines!) in the background of most street shots never match with the glorious castles portrayed in the special effect produced panoramas.
All of this lazy approach means the film never presents a setting that provided any kind of escapism for me. A less fussy viewer may not take issue with that, but if you like the details to be done right then this film is all wrong. I have no objection to creating fictional universes, but you have to establish them and this film never does that. It just throws the viewer into a seemingly-medieval realm that has no historical basis nor is an obvious fantasy universe.
The writing itself is also lazy. The plot ambles from one scene to the next, with very little attention paid to ensuring that subsequent plot and character behaviour makes sense. The best way to describe it would be, if you ever did as a child, folding a piece of paper multiple times and passing it around a table with each person drawing a bit based only on the edge of what the previous person drew. The subsequent drawing may join up at the seams but is generally a big mess.
For example, the paranoia on display by Gezza Mott (Aksel Hennie) is never given a true foundation, despite its necessity for the film - indeed it is arguably the crux of the film as everything revolves around his over-the-top security precautions. No direct threat is made and the film makes it clear he has very little knowledge of Raiden, nor is there any obvious substance abuse involved. Still, Gezza Mott becomes so paranoid that he will build an impenetrable fortress. Aksel Hennie puts in one of the better performances, but his character is so poorly constructed that his efforts are largely wasted.
The frustrating thing is that this film did have all the ingredients to be a good one. The director seems to lack vision. He seems to just tackle each task as it came to him and then move on to the next, and the lack of planning and attention to detail means the film is like a a cloth stitched together by different people. It may have been weaved out of the finest material, but the picture is a mess and the stitching different all over.
Black Angel (1980)
Absolute waste of time
The film is available on Youtube (legally) for free. Just go there and search for Black Angel.
This is one of the worst short movies I've seen. For something 20 minutes long, it manages to include an awful lot of time wasting.
It starts with a 5+ minute "intro" where nothing happens as the film follows some benign horse ride. I found myself skipping ahead trying to work out where the actual story begins, or what little there is of it.
The fight scenes are atrocious. They include repeating footage (and this is a SHORT!) and the kind of hammy choreography that William Shatner would have been proud of back in the day. Whilst Star Trek had a more fun outlook for context, this piece is trying to be serious so it's just cringeworthy.
The story itself is not worth much. It is barely enough for a short film. This has not aged well and I'm amazed anybody can watch it back and say that it is either thought provoking or entertaining or anything.
Don't waste your time.
Godzilla (2014)
Good start, good effects, but shallow and weak story
Godzilla is almost like 2 films in 1. There's this gritty, emotional beginning with very good acting and generally nothing to criticise. Then it moves into phase 2 which is great special effects but the acting and dialogue was left at the door. It's almost like Michael Bay usurped the production crew about 1/3 of the way into the film.
OK, so you probably heard that Brian Cranston is in this film and he is great as you might expect. His character's son, played by some dude who might remind you of Keanu Reeves only with less talent, simply pales in comparison. The problem for the film is that it is the son who is the main character. He was so bad that, on the drive home from the theatre, I was unable to recall a single one of his lines.
Whereas the first part all make sense - and even threatens to be intelligent as we get various concepts and scientific notions tossed our way - whilst at the same time endears Joe Brody (Brian Cranston) to the compassionate viewer, the second part of the film abandons all logic and reason as we track Ford Brody (some dude) and the army as they make bad decision after bad decision along the way in a series of forgettable and clichéd scenes until we finally get Godzilla in all his glory.
Godzilla truly, though, is glorious. The special effects are excellent with only the occasional iffy moment. If you are watching the film for Godzilla, then you will not be disappointed.
Unfortunately for the rest of us, it does appear that this was scripted just when the writers went on strike? Sorry, I'm just speculating as to why 1/3 of the film is very well written and the latter 2/3s of the story/script is appalling.
Tom yum goong 2 (2013)
Just dreadful; content yourself with its predecessors
There are few redeeming qualities to this film. The action sequences are a pale imitation of the crisp and fluid scenes we have come to expect since Ong Bak and the original Tom Yum Goong. Some of it verges on slap stick and the spectacular stunts we associate with Tony Jaa are replaced by B-movie special effects.
This is compounded by a script/story that barely makes sense. Events just occur randomly - the entire bike fight for one - whilst the bad guys are pathetic caricatures. RZA's street pimp style performance is just plain ridiculous.
There are only 2 things of any value in this film. The occasional witty interjection by Mark (Petchtai Wongkamlao) with his funny one liners and the beauty of Yayaying Rhatha Phongam. Beyond that, even the most die hard Tony Jaa fan will find it very tough to sit through this one.
With an ever increasing global library of action films from which to select, this one should be considered scraping the bottom of the barrel. You are better off watching or re-watching almost anything else - especially one of Tony Jaa's other films. Tom Yum Goong 2 makes Ong Bak 3 look like a master piece by comparison.
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
A Science Fiction Epic
Like many others, I went in to this film experience expecting another Pitch Black. Like I imagine almost all viewers were at the end, I came out thoroughly entertained by a science fiction epic that is about as good as it gets.
As the title suggests, the plot follows the adventures of Riddick. After escaping the world in Pitch Black, we learn he has isolated himself on a desolate planet as he feels he is too dangerous. When he is forced to fend off mercenaries who have located him, he decides to hunt down the only people who knew his location in order to find out why they sold him out. His arrival on an inhabited planet coincides with the invasion by a nomadic army that is on a Holy conquest of destruction across the galaxy.
The plot traverses a variety of environments and sub-adventures and none of it disappoints. The presentation is flawless for the budget, and the characters and actors are all superb in their roles. The film is full of memorable scenes and lines as Riddick's character is brilliantly expanded upon. This is the way sequels should be made - taking the best characters of the original in a new direction. It is very hard to think of any criticism of Chronicles of Riddick that doesn't come down to it's very nature; it essentially is as good as it ever could have been without making it an entirely different film.
The cast is superb. Vin Diesel expertly reprises his role as Riddick, while Colm Feore and Thandie Newton steal the scenes they are in. With the likes of Judi Dench and Karl Urban also in major roles, the performances of all the major characters are very strong and I was easily absorbed for the majority of the film.
I can see why it may not be to everybody's tastes, as I imagine you have to be partial to your sci-fi to really get lost in Chronicles of Riddick, but if you do then you'll have a very fun time.
Riddick (2013)
The weakest of the trilogy
It's OK. It's not bad, but it's not very good. At times it is slow, at others it is predictable, but never exhilarating like Pitch Black or epic like Chronicles of Riddick.
This is basically Pitch Black 2, but it lacks the consistency, pacing, and character development that made the original so appealing. You don't end up caring about the fates of any of the mercenaries. They are just a bunch of people who show up and die.
The creatures, who appear very early on in the movie, just don't make sense. So there's millions of them on this desolate landscape, but they don't eat each other or seem to come from any obvious location. They just all spring up when it starts raining.
The lines are corny and uncomfortable. All in all it just wasn't a very good concept, and was made purely to cash in on the cult of Riddick, which is a shame. I just have a hard time believing it is a plot/script that the producers - Vin Diesel included - picked up and though, "That is great!" Still, my 13 year old son enjoyed it.