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Reviews
Family Reunion: The Movie (2003)
I'm probably the only person who owns this DVD
Today at we were looking for a number of films.. namely Charlie Chaplin movies and Yojimbo, but what did we walk away from the store with? Family Reunion: The movie! It wasn't intentional.. we just saw the poster for this movie. Seeing the poster for this movie.. how could you not want to see it? We laughed for thirty straight minutes.. but then we decided we'd rather die with our money than waste it on Family Reunion: The movie, and went to eat dinner.
It was at the restaurant where we started talking about the movie again, and looked at a picture on my camera phone that I had taken of the movie cover. This is when we decided that we must own this movie.. just for the heck of it, so we busted our butts to get back to the store before it closed -- because where the hell else are you going to find this movie?-- and had our fingers crossed that no one else had bought it since we'd been there. But, we did buy it, and we watched it.
On the way home from the mall we spent about an hour talking about how this movie could be. From the back we knew that a character's name was "Pimpie" and that a main character probably grilled in the movie.. We were right.
This film is amazing!
Twentynine Palms (2003)
A small analogy...
Here's a little heads up for those who want to see this film.. You've probably seen it before, many, many times in your life.
That's right.. every time you wipe after you relieve yourself and look at the soiled paper in your hands.. you've seen this film.
Anytime someone close to you has died and you've gone to the wake and seen their dead body, you've seen this movie.
Every time you've popped a zit and had it bleed for four hours.. you've seen this film.
That's about it.. it's late and I'm tired of trying to think of ways to say this movie sucks. It just does. Trust me. You Don't want to see this thing. I'd rather sit and watch Soul Man fourteen consecutive times without a bathroom break while a four hundred pound gorilla stands on my right foot than watch six seconds of this movie every again.
Watching this film is the worst time I've ever had in my entire life. I'm serious. After you see this you'll want to rip out your eyes Oedipus style and set the severed eyes on fire and then eat them while they're on fire. This movie was horrible. Oh my God I can't even put into words how much I hated this film.
DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE! NEVER RENT THIS MOVIE! WHITE CHICKS IS PROBABLY BETTER THAN THIS GARBAGE AND WE ALL KNOW HOW GOOD WHITE CHICKS WAS! I MEAN.. IF THIS DUMONT GUY AND THE WAYANS BROTHERS WERE THE ONLY FILMMAKERS IN THE WORLD, THE WAYANS BROTHER WOULD BE THE BEST FILM MAKERS IN THE WORLD.