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The Intruder (I) (2019)
4/10
Same format again and again and again...
19 August 2022
The Intruder is not a bad movie, my first problem though is with the musical interludes which seem to have been imported from low-rent docu-dramas. They're pointless fillers and I only hope that filmmakers drop them immediately.

One could argue this is a poor remake of Unlawful Entry (1992). Remakes are not my issue, my issue is that a potentially good movie follows the same format of countless others. Why do we have to endure this cookie-cutter plot-writing? Where is the writing originality? Clearly there is none.
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2/10
A new dimension in pointlessnesses
14 July 2022
This has to go down as one of the most pointless movies made.

Here we have Dahmer the teen, geeky, awkward and not one of the cool kids. Nothing unusual then, which is why there is no story here.

He does things to get attention, again no big deal, he's not unlike countless other teenagers. The only factor of interest is his slight obsession with biology and cutting up animals.

Somehow we're supposed to get an insight in Dahmer, but this is just an insight into a teenager coming from a problematic home.

It's pointless, watching it is pointless so save your time.
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Another Earth (2011)
9/10
Simply brilliant, a true must-see
12 July 2022
Of all the movies I have seen recently this one has really stuck with me, enough to make me see it a few more times.

The plot is superb, from the outset I was hooked, this is powerful stuff indeed. This though is not a sci-fi movie which may disappoint some, fans of that genre need to look elsewhere.

I don't know Brit Marling, never seen her before, but I can only congratulate her on an incredible performance. She is either an amazing actress or she suits this part perfectly. Her character is depressed, jumpy, tentative, reclusive, shy, quiet, reserved, quirky, geeky, inquisitive, thoughtful, intelligent, ambitious and much more.

You're aware this is a low budget movie, some of the camera work is shaky and definitely on the amateur side, that doesn't detract from the enjoyment though.

There are a few voiceovers which add further depth. Experts in the field are cast from the radio and TV into short narrations which works perfectly as the lead walks in solitude with only her thoughts.

It would be a perfect 10, however I found some of the last few minutes to be a little obvious as she rushes back to him. Aside from that Another Earth is a true gem - outstanding!
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Enemy (2013)
2/10
Very poor for Gyllenhall
12 July 2022
I admire Jake Gyllenhall and his work, but this is the worst movie I have seen him in - by some way.

Enemy is slow, staggeringly slow, glacially slow, then when the plot takes a twist, it's so ridiculously unbelievable I wanted to switch off there and then. I kept going to see what happens and I'm not particularly pleased I did.

The movie tries to be psychological to ask us the "what if" question but it misses the mark by a country mile. It could have been so much better as the idea is good, but this is a bland yawnfest throughout.

I'm trying to find a positive, but there isn't one.
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In Montauk (2012)
2/10
Like watching paint dry
7 July 2022
I had high hopes for In Montauk but this is a total non-event. First off the good; the scenery is stunning and it's well shot throughout. There's nothing else going for this title though, the main issue being the lack of any plot as such. The viewer is shown nice scenes of New York (both the state and the city), we watch a couple of subway trains pass, that is the whole train passing. You get the feeling they were playing for time from the start.

I don't know what the makers were thinking, but I would hesitate to even call this a movie, it's more of a dreamscape of a photographer. The pictures though are as pointless as everything else here, although of course her 'exhibition' leaves the crowd gasping

They got the location right but everything else, and I mean everything is wrong.
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Hesperia (2019)
3/10
Bad In Every Way
29 June 2022
Hesperia misses the mark on almost every point.

First we have to endure an annoying opening soundtrack which goes on for far too long, it's followed by some staggeringly weak acting. Didn't anyone else notice the lack of continuity? The scene switches back and forth from bright and sunny to sunset.

The drug users are unconvincing with poor acting throughout. I'll leave the spoilers out but the home invasion is nonsensical.

At the end it's all supposed to go around and the point is made. No, Hesperia falls way, way short.

IMDB need to take a close look at the reviews for this movie.
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The Dig (2018)
4/10
It was going so well
25 June 2022
I was enjoying this movie immensely, it's gritty and powerful which kept me watching with interest.

Sadly it's all let down by the ridiculous ending. I don't know why there is the need to shock viewers with something so out of the box and far-fetched. For a film which is extremely real it doesn't even make sense, anyone with any detection skills will be left scratching their heads.
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1/10
Staggeringly Poor
7 April 2020
From the outset the acting is simply dreadful, if you can make it to the end you're doing well.
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Contagion (2011)
8/10
Staggeringly Realistic
27 March 2020
The similarities between Contagion and current events are simply uncanny, therefore I have to give this film a huge amount of credit.

I also admired the lack of special effects, egoistic characters and unnecessary twists - just a solid movie which mirrors life in 2020. the end scene is also a gem!
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2/10
Surely We Deserve Better Than This
17 February 2020
I'm not sure what is worse; that this movie exists or that people actually think it's worth watching.

So here we have an escaped convict who seems to outfox the authorities who can't use a spike strip to stop him, or their rear view mirror to see him coming. He can also lose a police helicopter by using that cunning method of pressing the brake pedal - criminals take note!

Come on guys! Yes this is Arnie but let's grow up just a bit.
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Moonlight (I) (2016)
4/10
Barely Average
10 March 2017
I was quite disappointed by this movie, there is nothing special about it whatsoever. I can only think the Oscar nominations were driven by more than a little political correctness as the lead is black and gay.

From the start it's so slow that a few coffees may well be needed to keep you awake. In Part 3 the lead is quite miscast and bears almost no relation to the boy in Part 2.

The only saving grace - it's well shot with beautiful colours, that's not enough though.
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Steak (2007)
9/10
A Different and Original Comedy
9 April 2015
I watched Steak and thought it was pretty stupid, but then I found myself laughing at some of the scenes a couple of days afterwards. I immediately saw the movie again (it's on YouTube) and credit where it's due, this is a funny and original film.

The 'gang' is just too funny, they're bad but in the most clean-cut way. Eric Judor is excellent playing a very convincing simpleton who tries to impress his peers.

Steak is not for everyone, but if Airplane and Caddyshack make you laugh then this movie probably will too. It's not often you can say that a movie is uniquely funny, but Steak is. The French Canadian element makes it a bit different and all those American college movies are parodied brilliantly.

Chivers!
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Algorithm (2014)
2/10
Great Movie - For Nerds
20 July 2014
This is a great example of a movie that will interest a certain type of person. Make a movie about surfing and even though its garbage many surfers will love it. If you're a hardcore nerd, conspiracy theorist or just anti-establishment then Algorithm will probably appeal to you. Everyone else, that is 99% of viewers, should pass.

As a narrated film we have to endure the lead actor's endless rambling thoughts throughout, on top of that we get some 'Hacker's Principles' - oooh they've stumbled upon something big, now they must find out what it is and expose the authorities for the bad guys they are.

As the movie progresses it becomes ridiculously implausible with miscast characters. We're supposed to believe a top-secret agency working for the government has no security with a sole receptionist sitting at a table typing on a laptop. Of course anyone can walk in - or out for that matter.

The only saving grace for this film is the character Decimate who adds some humor (and a second star to my review), otherwise its as bland as you can get. At the end to call it an anti-climax is an understatement, the synopsis says our man is "thrust into a revolution", whoever wrote that should be sued for misinformation.

In fact its hard to think of a movie that accomplishes less than Algorithm, but then again after watching some may beef-up their passwords so all is not lost.
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Rage (I) (2010)
4/10
A Poor Remake Of Duel
18 July 2014
Rage sets out to be a remake of Steven Spielberg's all-time classic Duel, very lofty ambitions indeed.

The first problem is the makers of Rage did not have the money or skills to make a road movie. So we have a guy on a bike and a guy in a car navigating the roads of Portland. Then the camera shakes as the bike 'hits' the car, just one example of many laughably poor scenes.

As a road movie is out then Rage becomes a low-budget and pretty pointless horror movie, as a remake of Duel it falls way, way short of the mark.

If you want to see a great revenge style movie then watch Duel, if you want to watch something nowhere near as good with less style and pointless killing then watch this.
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Senna (2010)
6/10
A Missed Opportunity
8 November 2011
I followed most of Ayrton Senna's career intently as he was a brilliant driver with incredible charisma which arguably made him bigger than even F1.

I was though quite disappointed with this movie as I feel there were too many omissions. First of all a large part of the film is not in English, I am assuming Portuguese? I am not sure if some copies are in different languages as F1 is a global sport but one language or the other would make sense.

Moving on though, any Senna documentary would surely require input from the most influential names. Fangio, Murray Walker, Jackie Stewart and Michael Schumacher are/were the most influential names in motor racing to such a degree that you can almost forget most other observers. They have all publicly spoken of Senna's genius yet not a single comment from any of these names was included.

The film does not even make an attempt to set the scene properly. For those that don't know this was a unique time in Formula 1. We had Senna, probably the best driver of all time against Prost, another of the best drivers of all time.

Now lets see what else was missing:

Any mention of qualifying, his qualifying routine involved perfect timing and execution, which was the reason for his staggering number of pole positions throughout his career.

His ability in the rain and on street circuits.

His unique driving style - blipping the throttle through corners and so on. This has been analyzed by other broadcasters in depth.

The very close relationship with Honda, the man and the company. Honda engines were supreme at the time and Honda stipulated that Senna be a McLaren driver due to his immense popularity in Japan. He also provided a lot of input into the NSX.

The Senna line of products such as clothing, watches and bicycles.

The failed early marriage.

Punching Eddie Irvine and being punched by Mansell during the drivers' briefing.

The film was always going to be a stitching together of archive footage yet it follows the various F1 seasons with no real purpose. 1988 is rightly shown in detail as it was his first championship yet the film completely misses the elephant in the room that the McLaren of that year was so dominant that the car won 15 out of the 16 races – a feat still unmatched in the history of the sport. In fact it would have been all 16 if Senna had not been taken-out by a back-marker late in the race.

With no narration we are left to work things out ourselves. The 1993 season was one of Senna's finest even though he did not win the title, but virtually none of it was shown. Also in that year the European GP at Donnington is, many feel Senna's best race ever but not one second of that race was in the film.

There was also a complete lack of statistics which could have gone some way to summarize Senna's career. Finally the period of silence observed at the race after Senna's death was not even shown.

Instead of the above there was an obsession with Prost, of course he was Senna's direct competition for some years but there was just too much of him and Balestre.

I did see a lot of non-racing footage I have never seen before which was interesting however it seems to me that the makers of Senna either ran out of money or just did not have access to some of the better on-track action.

At the end of 1994 Michael Schumacher said he would give his world title to Senna if he could as Senna would have won it. If ever there was a quote that needed to be in this movie it was this one.

I have to say this film goes down as a missed opportunity to tell the story of the greatest driver ever.
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1/10
I Cannot Describe How Bad It Is
3 January 2011
Warning: Spoilers
My partner watched this film and I had the misfortune of being in the same room at the time. The film is so immature and ridiculously egotistical it is unbelievable, it makes a film like Commando seem a masterpiece.

The fight scenes are incredibly badly staged and unrealistic, Stallone and his cronies jump into dozens of enemies yet never even take a hit - wow! Then it happens again, and again, and again, and again. Am I boring you? If so then you're getting the film exactly.

When they are not killing hundreds of 'baddies' they do oh so macho activities like ride big bikes, get tattoos and throw knives around.

My real score would be -68 but as 1 is the lowest I can go to that will have to do.
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