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Dangerous Seductress (1992)
I love these Indonesian beauts.
I love these Indonesian beauts. During a time when film-making was somewhat at it's peak. These Indo's found it in their little itty bitty hearts to make films for the masses. What they had to do to sell their product was to give the North American viewing audience all the trash and sleaze they could. A perfect example would be this movie in my hands.
A fatal car accident happens when some jewel thieves run into the law. Their car flips and smashes down hard. Body parts literally fly all over and here, a little decapitated finger crawls on the ground at mach 1 speed and finds the burial ground of which a Dangerous seductress was once dug in. Close by, blond bombshell Suzy (Tonya Offer) flies in from L.A. to South Asia for a little vacation but little does she know that a present her sister received at her birthday contains demonic passages and resurrection spells. She frivolously opens the book and begins a few chants. Little does her sister know what is going on since she is at a photo shoot for bikini clad hotties. As soon as she is finished up with her voodoo talk, the dangerous one rises and finds Suzy as her body to desecrate and fornicate for blood. Suzy walks the streets for blood from oblivious men around the city clubs. I would be putty in her hands also if she picked me up but the men, being idiots that we are fall into her trap and get their life's blood sucked out in the bucketfuls. The sister returns and soon she is brought into this tangled web Suzy wove. A climax of epic proportions ensues and what happens? I guess you'll have to find out yourself. This movie is for the serious good times of sexy babes, gore and cheese CGI effects. I would totally recommend these types of films for those who need a illogical boot to the head. Made in 92 (seems like they were a little behind in times for 92), this exploitation fest leans sorely towards those who need to get away from those serious scare fests and get back into what makes cinema fun in the first place. Prime example folks.
The Christmas Season Massacre (2001)
This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with
This is a type of movie you'd have to have fun with. Christmas Season Massacre, can't get anymore cliché than that eh! It leans itself on referential displays of homage. But a blast at that also.
The boys from the Rosa roster are included in this happy go lucky slash fest. Freaking hilarious people, 80's fried stalk n slash.
Tommy "one shoe" was, or is a loser and soon became the apitmy of himself. A blood thirsty maniac. The team of bully's unite to stop his reign of terror once and for all. In the meantime, they are all getting dispensed quite quickly one by one by ole' pirate boy himself. Guts a flyin" and jokes a plenty is what I have to say. Surely a mix of Eric Stanze's (www.wickedpixel.com ) flavor amongst this Wallace special.
Tons of heaping bucket loads of red and sauce. DJ Vivona gets taken out in a nice Toolbox fashion.
Good times, it's dynamite!
Crazy Love (1987)
Crazy love is all about the other walks of life.
I can assure you that Mondo Macabro is truly the wild side of cinema. The flicks these guys dish out are of all levels of genre's. Drama, horror, exploitation, euro, thriller, cult, etc.. Nice tot see someone hand out films that are of quality from all walks of life. Crazy love is all about the other walks of life.
O.K., I can understand growing up in a town way out in Belgium somewhere in 55, attending local cinema and becoming enthralled amongst the gleaming screen of persuasion. I'm talking on a male perspective, sorry ladies. You come running home with the thoughts of kissing, petting and other boner reacting thoughts. You hang out with a next door pal which is a little older and tosses you into the whole scheme of things, of supposed love making. You both fail miserably but on you must go. That I can understand. What I can't understand is how someone could freely talk masturbation when you where such a pre teen, then have your buddy whip it out and throw one back in front of you? I don't think so. The director had that happen, and it was his brother. So maybe it could happen but look where he is from. Well, On to 1962, a few years older and a complexion only a mother could love. You feel really bad, you understand what he going through and he still can't land that lady he most certainly loves.
On to the 70's and by now, you would think he would at least have found Mrs. right? Wrong, still no luck and no a drunken loser. He hooks back up with old time budd and for old times sake. Lets steal a corpse and see what he does. You have to see what true love would do to you.
I thoroughly enjoyed the film, other then the jerk of class I was drenched in emotion. Kind of like an after school special if you will. The director talks a little about the flick and his reasoning. Sure, he knows what he's talking about but when he fessed up to the brother showing brother, or brother watching brother part of his life. I sort of turned the rest off and couldn't get that vision out of my head. A disturbing touch to an already disturbing story. An off the beaten path for this label to come out with but cult is cult and the wild side of cinema needs a home somewhere.
The Clonus Horror (1979)
A straight forward serious dive into Sci-Fi terror,
A kind of different approach in movies then the usual fair of Mondo releases. A straight forward serious dive into Sci-Fi terror, and I mean quite real if you ask me. Something so crazy that it could actually happen.
Peter Graves (Mission Impossible, Airplane) is running for president. A crooked man he is. Runs this complex entitled operation Clonus. I'm not getting into that right now, all I can say it houses a form of human clone? Which seems totally distanced from the rest of the world. Trapped if you will. Readying for what? They become curious, just like anybody would. The subjects I mean. The operation throw's parties for those of them that become 30. A party to finally let tem into America, or so they say. One lad becomes curious and runs off. Finding out exactly what it was all about because no one ever hears back from their friends who get sent out to America. Things become justified and answers are too much to handle. It's exactly what you read, just not knowing where it goes. The plot to the movie I mean.
A serious take on the human issue and what the government could be doing, or handling things. Well, you kind of already have a clue, just dig a little deeper. Soilent Green type emotion. How could they be doing this? WHY? I really liked this film. The darkness it throws upon the selected storyline. The subtle unsettling behavior the people have amongst the human kind, and the rest of the world. I really really liked this flick. Really.
The Bonesetter (2003)
1 out of 10 on the gore-o-meter
The first thing I have to get off my chest is the fact that this is one the Splatter Rampage part of Tempe Video. Usually, the category should involve savage blood spilling. Midnight Skater went overboard, Mulva and Filthy McNasty yes yes, but this has to be the most bloodless of the pile seeing that maybe it's a 1 out of 10 on the gore-o-meter.
A very ambitious project with a few flaws. I'll get to that in a bit.
The Bonesetter, a century old practitioner of bones. You needed adjustment or a set back, then the Bonesetter was the man until a bad rap began his illustrious career of slaughtering the weak. Now in present time, he has somehow found his way back to the land of the living to find what he was set out to do before his untimely death. Kill, kill, kill. Children become missing and for some strange reason, the evidence points to the Bonesetter's patterns which are being studied out by the local book worm who gets pushed around. Which in turn meets a woman who had her child kidnapped who happened to be looking for the book on him the legend also. Small world isn't it? The 2 hook up, smash ideas of each other and make things happen. More children go missing and the closer they get, the deadlier the game becomes. A cat and mouse if you will. The deeper the story gets, the more action takes place. Reminds me of a C.S.I. Episode other than a straight out horror flick. Not to dis, just a mere opinion on the story and style. It has it's potential but doesn't quite deliver the full punch. The kills don't live up to the Splatter Rampage credential, a sheer miss of interpretation.
All in all, still not a bad feature but if brought to a 45 minute short than probably a hell of a wallop this would give.
Bloodletting (1997)
A veritable smorgasbord of b-movie cameo's.
A veritable smorgasbord of b-movie cameo's. You wouldn't believe what this guy pulled in for this one. Mike Gingold (Fangoria Magazine editor), Ariauna Albright the main star (WITCHHOUSE 2, URBAN LEGEND, CURSE OF THE PUPPET MASTER, and so on), James L Edwards (THER DEAD NEXT DOOR, OZONE, POLYMORPH), Sasha Graham (RAGE OF THE WEREWOLF, PSYCHO SISTERS), Tina Krause (NIKOS THE IMPALER, WITCHHOUSE 3, and so on) plus many many more directors, writers and industry people in general. I can see why also just for the fact that this is not just another typical horror film. More of a NATURAL BORN KILLERS of love and massive murder.
Ariauna and James are the leads in this exploitive little serial fest. She wants to learn the tricks of the killing trade from James and away she goes and tracks him down. "Teach me everything you know" cries Ariauna and slickly he explains the do's and don'ts of not getting caught, how blood sprays, and other finer points. A few sprees of bloodshed and she catches on. A little more than he hoped for. She gets into it on a psychotic level (like this movie isn't already eh!) and begins a careless ride of splattering proportions. He can't control her new love for the shedding and a few twists arise amongst the ultra exploitive fest. A baby is blown away with a shotgun, an excessively light bloody ass of James is nicely shot, and tons of spraying becomes immensely entertaining. A few slow spots and sometimes just plain boring dialogue conjures up a few zzzzzz's or 2 but overall, a very entertaining flick.
Well lite, flashy camera shots (I like the short better which started this off entitled I'VE KILLED BEFORE) and pretty descent acting. I wouldn't say like the quote on the box insists, "This is NATURAL BORN KILLERS done right" is accurate, but for this micro shoestring budget I was immensely enthralled with the drama styled action horror thriller.
The coolest things about Tempe Video's releases are the extras involved are usually massive, commentary, first short film which lead to this full length also with a commentary from Sub Rosa Studios Ron Bonk, deleted scene's , making of featurette with the whole cast, and trailers. For an enthusiast to tread new grounds in the indie scene, this is a must. No stupid monsters, bad acting, shitty editing, just great killer fun.
Blazing Stewardesses (1975)
Are good ole boy Al Adamson.
Are good ole boy Al Adamson. Quite a cheap man and laid to waste some of the most sought after genre's. Such classics as Dr. Dracula, Black Heat, I Spit On Your Corpse, Blood Of Ghastly Horror, Cinderella 2000, and on and on. He made a crap load of movies lets put it that way. This double dose of Adamson exploitation is served up in one juicy booby platter.
Lets get this started with The Blazing one, a Mel Brooks wanna be after his success with Blazing Saddles. One thing you have to keep in mind when watching a flick like this one. Don't expect much to happen. There is so much filler in this movie that it doesn't even really go anywhere. It painfully hurts to watch the whole thing without putting on the fast forward. The best thing is the usual Yvonne De Carlo as the titular star of this, and Naughty. She hobbles around in scenery meant for a vacation promo video. On and on the scenes drag of horses, her walking up and down the streets to find cute knick knacks at local vendor shops in the islands of whatever. Sure the woman are hot, put nothing happens. I think the music holds the entire movie with its swinging' jazz, 70's style baby. Loads of old school actors that unfortunately, ended up in a film like this. The Ritz Brothers (Old time slap stick favorites), just not in this. Very weak and could not stand the test of time. Back in the 30's, yes. Now, tits and Spike Jones comedy just don't mix. Just leave it up to Adamson to mix the genre's appeals and not make it work.
Naughty on the other hand has a little more action and not too much dragging filler. A little more in the nudity department to boot. Yvonne is back and trying to find the right guy. While on her travels, she holds the love pocket back while every one else she encounters on her new job (which happens to be a stewardess) lays out the red carpet and gives it all they got. A little more soft core action to keep your pants off. Just stinks when Yvonne hooks up with an old school fart, ruins the look of her when she becomes a little intimate.
Anyways, this DVD is jam packed with goodies to appeal to the drive -in crowd. DVD 1 Feature film: BLAZING STEWARDESSES (1975) English audio Interview: MARILYN JOI (a.k.a. T.A. KING) Rare Combo Trailer Commentary: Producer SAM SHERMAN / historian ED HULSE Full Color Booklet featuring Liner Notes .DVD 2 Feature film: NAUGHTY STEWARDESSES (1974) English audio Never-Before-Seen Outtakes Commentary: Producer SAM SHERMAN Original Trailer / TV Spots Retro-Seduction Cinema Trailer Vault. So you can expect a crap load of juicy info from Al himself . You pretty much expect nice looking ladies. Just not a whole lot of meat.
Bite Me! (2004)
The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest.
The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of a Brett Piper film is that we are going to divulge the next hour or so into a stop motion monster fest. You like what Ray Harryhausen did for the genre back in the KONG KONG and CLASH OF THE TITAN days? Then I think you might like what the ole Piper boy can do himself. If you don't mind the gratuitous violence and sex appeal. I'm pretty sure you don't.
Some crazy killer weed is being shipped to a strip club where it will soon be distributed amongst the drug induced culture. But before it gets to the club, the first of the carriers get into a little trouble with some sort of spider attack. They seemed to have crept there way out of the crates containing the weed and onto the unsuspecting victims. The next pick up grabs the weed from the now deceased delivery guys and off to the strip club it goes which now a corrupt little weasel gets his hands into it to soon make a quick buck, not knowing what he really is getting his greasy little paws into. Before we get into the bug problem, the strippers Crystal (Misty Mundae), Amber (Caitlin ross), and Teresa (Julian Wells) are over over worked. To the point that Amber passes out while doing a cute and tiresome routine. Teresa is a bumbling goof ball that trips over her own 2 feet. The bar is a little in the slow. The ladies are tired and now the show needs a little pizazz. Well, lets bring in the shipment and now the fun begins. The critters are escaping and chaos ensues. The DEA gets involved since the owner is such a crook, but what he gets himself into is a whole other story. Well, not really but what happens to him is a surprise also. Bugs, boobs, jokes and laughs and a little bit of the goopy red sauce for the extra goodness.
I like to say that this would be another viewing for sure. Funny, gory and just plain cool with Brett's stop motion goofiness. The cast does a pretty good job strippin and having there way with the bugs. The only thing I found kind of a rip was the exterminator (Rob Monkiewicz of ARACHNIA and SCREAMING DEAD) playing a direct rip off of the UPS guy on Mad TV. Total rip, a little to obvious but still funny none the less. Usually he plays the serious, good call. It looks pretty flawless this time around with the stop motion. In ARACHNIA, it seemed way to cheap. Almost can't see the seems most of the time in this. Great job on that one.
A documentary, How to crash a car in 2 hours featurette, rue Morgue's Festival of Fear world premier screening (I was looking for myself in it but to no avail), Making movies with Misty, CKY video, CKY mini documentary, Booklet and more. This is surely a great bang for your buck if you are weary of cheap films. Kind of cheap but not on a Sub Rosa Studios cheapness. This is great compared to those. Long live the bugs!!!!
The Beast of Bray Road (2005)
You can see a very good direction that this team is heading in.
You can see a very good direction that this team is heading in. With this movie especially. A great flick all the way through. A monster film to keep your pants on. A fantastic time waster, and I mean that in a good way.
A new Sheriff is in town, not familiar with the back woods. The locals per say. Then strange things begin to happen, people are missing and there are no clues. Nothing but blood and parts. A Cryptozoologist comes to town after a string of rumors pops up on the internet. Rumors of a Werewolf devouring savage. Here to seek and destroy. People keep turning up dead, in grizzly fashion. The deputies band together to fight this deadly menace. They'll do whatever it takes to finish this nuance once and for all. The finale ends ??????????? I never give the ending away, what would be the point of you even renting it then when you know what is going to happen. Well, it doesn't really matter. Just know that it's kind of weak and not as surprising as you might think. Or not.
This movie followed the supposed accounts of an actual Beast on Bray road, Wisconsin style. Like the 13th Child based on flick also, the Jersey Devil type deal. There is a lot of bloodshed in this here film. Bodies are ripped apart, heads split open, arms, legs, you name it. No CGI effects here either. Good old fashion make up. I always buy that for a dollar. The usual actors and actresses are beginning to make appearances in each film as they go. A common bond, Hammer style baby. You need the brotherhood to maintain a tight production and team overall. Just like a band, you can only get better, well you'd hope so.
A behind the scenes featurette, commentary, Bloopers, Trailers and so on. They can only get better, and this is prime example.