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Never Back Down: Revolt (2021)
Painful (to watch for more than 5 minutes)...
The best part of this film that I could bare was the first minute when the lead character asked if her bird was hungry. After that, I could not stomach more than that. Somehow I decided to give it a chance and watched another 7 minutes. The dialogue was horrible, the acting bad and the fight scene in the first 12 minutes was awful, choreography = bad, phony punches = obvious & weak, injuries = think raspberry jam smeared all over a toddlers face, lastly, there was not an ounce of tension or suspense. I'm sure sure why they bothered with How, no, wait... WHY was this move made?! I can't get that 12 minutes back, but at least I could tell that I'd saved myself another hour, 16 minutes and 49 seconds of time to use for something other than this movie. I don't feel bad missing any of it and can't imagine it will improve. After reading other reviews, I think I made the right decision. Do your self a favor... Just say NO! To watching this film. There are so many better, more productive things to do, like cleaning a cat litter box, removing hair and gunk from a clogged sink drain, or taking out the garbage.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
How did this movie ever come to be?
The question that came to mind after the first 5 minutes of this. I admit. Bruce Willis was the only reason I considered watching this. But with a number of actors I did not recognize, and had all the markers of being a low budget looking film. Hmm... Bruce must have been bored and needed something to do and was paid a big chunk of change to do this or was doing a favor for someone trying to get their foot in the door of the film industry.
As others stated, the advancement of humans and technology nowhere matched what one would expect for the time period set for this movie. This looks like it is set in say... the year 1994 with the exception of the space crafts.
I've seen more futuristic characters, imaginative set designs, makeup, wardrobe and creativity in 22+ year old films like "the 5th Element","the Matrix", "Alien"; a 42 year old movie which STILL holds its own and let us not forget "2001: A Space Odyssey" released in 1968 - a now 53 year old film.
All this film delivered were a multitude of recognizable rip-offs from dozens of 90's sci-fi films and TV shows with a script sounding like it was written by a teenager and a forgettable story.
Poor direction combined with horrible dialogue and poor acting make for a tedious film watching experience.
Any moments that should be suspenseful fall flat and there's no chemistry between any of the actors. It almost feels as if they are all doing a dry run of the script while being filmed and in costume. Deaths and "shoot-em-up" scenes somehow lack any emotion, tension, or gravity; for me they evoked the same emotions as if I were watching a group of people standing in line waiting to check out at the grocery store. I was actually just distracted from the film just now by a number of birds that just flew past our office window and into a bush in the neighbor's yard - "What's going on!" I exclaimed. "8 sparrows just flew into a bush across the street into the same spot!" - "I wonder what's in there and what's going on?". Sorry, now back to my review - which I'm doing while sort of watching the film, but not really, anymore... as I've lost complete interest in it.
Is there truly no imagination left in the film industry? This isn't the only piece of waste out there that somehow made it from script to screen instead of going to the scrap heap where it belongs. I'm sorry for being so harsh, but I just don't know how this movie ever came to be.
This is definitely one of those films where one would say "That's 43 minutes of my life that I can't get back." *I started doing other things due to how bad this film was, so all told, I saw about 43 minutes of the film.
Sorry guys, I'm going to give this a HUGE thumbs down.
Save yourself the time and invest your time doing anything other than watching this. You've been warned!
Sausage Party (2016)
If only it were possible to give this film a negative 10 rating.
This was quite possibly the worst film I have ever wasted 15 minutes on. I can't believe I even lasted that long, but for review purposes, I left it running (so I heard the dialog while I was doing other things useful with my time).
I picked this up at the local library, not completely sure what to expect, but I knew of the origins of its writers and so I expected some crude sexual humor, a few laughs or maybe at least lightly amusing, mindless entertainment.
I even thought that I might count how many times the "F" word was used in the first 5 minutes. It seemed like every single sentence. Hmm, couldn't think of any actual comical dialogue, so I guess they thought that by using the "F" word at least twice in ever sentence would add value to their pile of doodie ~ WRONG.
There were so many opportunities for humor, but instead it was an animated waste infested with so much cursing, crudeness and so little thought and creativity that I am ashamed to continue play of this waste that included a cartoon rapist, drug pusher and racists as basis for laughs - not funny?
I am mostly disturbed to see that over 130,000 individuals believed that not only did they think this was worthy of existing, but thought it was very good! What horror! The best part of the movie was the ending - because it was great music. Three Dog Night? How did such a good song end up in such a repulsive piece of garbage film?
Did I mention I got this for free at the library? Remember, if you watch this it is not only an hour and a half of your life that can never get back, but a greatly regretful one. I'd rather have had someone smash my fingers in a car door and spent an hour at the emergency room than have watched this. At least while in pain waiting for care, I'd be entertained by the crackheads or meth-heads that wander into the ER for medical care. That would be far more interesting and entertaining than this heap of garbage.
The D Train (2015)
Comedy, Drama? This is not.
I keep trying to think of anything that might be considered amusing in this movie and I fail to understand how this could remotely be considered a comedy-drama, or even a dark-comedy drama.
Drama - yes. Comedy - absolutely no way. The film follows the main character played by Jack Black as he goes to dangerous lengths in order to secure an RSVP from the "hometown celebrity" to their class reunion. The story continues to become darker and more dramatic with each passing event in the film.
I kept wondering when the comedy would kick in, but it never did, or did I just missing something?
The acting was good, the script was decent and the movie itself was well done, but I'd have never seen this film had I known that it was going to be such a depressing and dark, downer of a film. If you are looking for a moody, serious drama with dark undertones, this film is for you.
Otherwise, stick to a good classic comedy, drama like Little Miss Sunshine or When Harry Met Sally.
Bluff (2013)
Real show, or a Bluff?
For whatever reason, I forced myself through the entire first series (a single DVD). The story was just intriguing enough for me to give each following episode another chance. Sometimes in a new series it takes a while for the actor's chemistries and character building to really pull together... not the case here.The directing, editing and dialogue all seemed to be amateur at best and felt more like a "mock show". The characters dialogue and personalities were overly simple, predictable, and each one written as simple personality clichés. Underdeveloped would be the best way to describe the writing here.
I realized after a while that I was leaving the show running while I left to do other things; there was just nothing to hold me there, no connection to the story or to the characters. Overall watching this was time regrettably spent that I'll never back.
I would not recommend.