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Gone Girl (2014)
Reality TV meets the Junior CSI
'Spoiler alert'- the ending of this movie sucked harder than a Dyson! Many of us watch movies for entertainment and some of us in the audience also crave escape from reality. If you want to suspend your normal/intelligent life, this movie (notice I did not say film) might be for you. Early on, I caught myself thinking of Ben Afleck as the new Richard Gere, a guy who made good in one film and has now gone on to star in B-grade flicks thanks to his looks, but that is a slam to Ben, who likely just needs a better agent or help managing his cash. The acting from Ben and Carrie Coon (plays his sis in movie) is good and the staging of a tired (TV drama) plot is decent enough. Sadly, as the action escalates towards a climax, it becomes far too obvious that the intended audience is the somewhat brain addled bunch who enjoys daytime TV 'talk' shows and hyped-up news shows which hype up crime stories. If you can suspend reality and forget that cops (especially detectives following up on a possible murder/kidnapping and rape) check for fingerprints, dig through computer/cellular records, and follow up on even small leads, you might yet give this 'roll of celluloid' a five or more of ten. But that ain't me: I give it a 3!
Ted (2012)
Now, this is some funny xykz!
Yeah, I admit it, I'm into Family Guy. On top of that, I admired Marky-Mark's upper bod in "Feel the Vibration" and I've been following his rise as an average joe character on the big screen over the last ten or so years. "Rock Star, Invincible, The Departed, The Fighter," are all some of my fave films and Marky sure did a fine job in 'em. Admittedly, I've done my best to keep from watching the "loser" movies Mr. Wahlberg has done to "pay the rent/dues/favors," but have watched "Four Brothers" and "The Other Guys" (hey, a guys gotta watch some crap to get some, know what I'm sayin?"). In those crap movies, it wasn't Marky's acting that was at fault, I'll leave it at that. Back to Ted, it's a nice mix of Msr. Wahlberg playing straight man to the voice of Seth McFarlane in the body of a Teddybear-come to life as-X-mas Miracle-turned drunken loud mouth perv with a heart. (and if that's saying a mouthful, just wait 'til you hear the bear go on and on, it'll make you want to get him a paci, or at least a personal-sized melon!) If your girl ain't into crass, do yourself a favor and beg for a "boy's night," otherwise you might not get any for a while!
The Avengers (2012)
you ain't missing much (except 2 hours of Living)
Seriously, unless you are the stereotypical fanboy/testosterone/drunken-viewer type, this will be 85% a waste of your time. The other 15%? A few funny lines throughout, the talk between Thor & Loki (right before Ironman interferes), the ensuing battle between "shellhead" and the Thunder God, and Hulk wiping the floor with Loki. So, if you are too stoned/drunk/tranquilized-by-Marlin-Perkins, this campy cinema won't kill you. (unless you sober up quick and live near a high precipice!) And really, it could be worse, like if they'd used Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan (drunk/drugged) to play The Black Widow. Or maybe if they'd gotten George Costanza to get into it with Doc Banner over eating the last muffin top...
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)
fast paced and entertaining
It has it's moments, but they don't come from the animation. For those used to fare along the lines of Wallace & Gromit, your normal levels of visual appreciation are unlikely to be reached. Some good comedy (and yes, some of it is visual), Clooney makes for a great funny-man and some of his lines here are hilarious! This film is fast paced, sometimes too much, and the viewer can easily miss dialogue as well as some action. That same fast pace can really keep an audience engrossed, there is a lot to see and much going on. Story is very creative and, again, colorful to both the mind and the eye. Much to like here, I just expected much more.
There Be Dragons (2011)
In need of new director
This could have been so much better...The story is a good one, but the acting is off the stage, as in overdone and it comes across as a bit wooden on screen. When practicing for a stage part which included use of a fencing foil, I remember being taught to exaggerate my swings for the benefit of the audience. Over-working something on film might work for slap-stick comedy, but it's out of place in this drama. Speaking of heavy-handing, the end of the movie reminds me of something done by Spielberg: a point is driven hard and openly upon the audience, but it doesn't go well with the final scene! Something seemed to have fallen out of the script, or been plugged in at the last, very detrimental! I felt the movie had a lot to say, but there seemed only about fifteen minutes of drag. Lots of emotion was generated, and this in a person who is not into traditional religion. A serious film that is seriously flawed by bad directing! (actors are better when you ask it of them; script seemed worthy, which meant major flaw at end was one of interpretation, not writing) Vote: the 6 which could have been at least an 8.5!
Laurel Canyon (2002)
A Wednesday night TV movie
Just something to keep the audience watching, I found this movie lacking in the True to Life column. Bale- as the academically successful son of a mother who may have not been the best rolemodel for someone aspiring to be very detail oriented and on schedule. Bale- who can intervene when another parent is being too harsh/uncaring about their child, but cannot help but attack his mother for her faults. Bekinsale- who her life behind to follow her fiancée in his quest for a better education, yet allows drugs/bad-boy image to draw her away from her love and career a bit too easily. Bunk! Saving grace: the mom played very true to life. (singing by bad boy band lead is not worth a jukebox dime)
Shallow Hal (2001)
About as entertaining as watching kittens play with yarn
The Bad: sticks to the stereotype of fat people eating a lot of food; makes fun of fat people in general by making fun of the size clothing they wear; makes fun of fat people's weight; the DVD I rented had an image of a scale with the weight set at 250, female lead was shown as being well over 350, if not 400- insult to both fat women and audience intelligence; insensitive to fat peeps in general; makes fun of peeps who spray on hair to cover bald spots (admittedly, the job done by "George" on his barren scalp did look awful) The Good: hugely overshadowed by the above- the message that there is more to people than looks I gave it a 6 because of the laughs/fun factor and feel good sense, but the story truly rates less for discerning adults; seems built for someone around twelve years of age.