I hate to admit it. My patience for Disney Plus tv show projects are at an all time low. I will never stop supporting Disney Plus because, let's face it, it would cost a fortune to own every single Marvel movie and Star Wars film and Disney Classic. In fact, over the years, I've spent so much on physical media that I have not played on any device for at least 5 years now.
Even before streaming, I was using personal library apps like Plex to access my own media transferred to a digital format. So yeah, I don't think I will go back to physical media or purchasing more and more films. Having streamers with a library of films and tv shows I know I'll be watching or rewatching is very good value.
But back to Star Wars: Ahsoka.
I get no joy from trashing a world I grew up with.
I was there in the theatres as a kid when A New Hope was showing. I was maybe 5 years old. Didn't really always understand what the hell was going on, but the world of Star Wars felt dynamic, alive and imaginative. The plot line was confusing, I probably only understood that last bit of the film where the fighting and the bad guys were getting demolished.
And I understood that this whole Jedi thing was about having a mystic connection to the universe while fighting with bizarre light samurai swords.
Fast forward to someone in his fifties, and my view on Star Wars has changed dramatically.
There is a lot wrong with even the original trilogy. Plot holes. Underdeveloped characters. The lack of a diverse cast. All those aspects dilute my enjoyment of the original films, if I'm totally honest. The stuff that doesn't change for me? The whole feeling of Star Wars. I think John Williams should be given some kind of Sainthood Award; because he has been the single-most winningest part of many a project/film/series.
Just look at the worlds he has created through the genius of film soundtrack? Star Wars. Indiana Jones. E. T. Superman.
Then you combine it with the special effects, character, costume and set designs of films like Star Wars; voila, a mythological universe is born!
Again - I digress.
Back of the Horrible news at hand.
Ahsoka sucks.
It really is as bad as A New Hope (in terms of plot hole stupidity).
Let's take A New Hope's dumb writing; (which I didn't/couldn't realise at the time since I was only 5 years old at the time).
Princess Leia gives R2D2 a secret mission and sends him off to a desert planet to look for Obi Wan Kenobi.
Do you know how unlikely and impossible that would be?
Imagine if someone dropped you off in China, or Russia, or India and asked you to look for Gary Woo. Or Lu Wei Chen. Or Anna Yeo. Or Peter Kominski. Or Prasad Ranganathan.
No picture, no coordinates, no telephone number, no email, no work or residential address, no fingerprints, no DNA, nothing. Zip.
Somehow, this robot who doesn't speak English, actually stumbles into Obi Wan Kenobi. And this somehow turns the course of the rebellion, fighting against incredible odds to defeat the Empire.
And fast forward to Ahsoka - Not to break the formula for dumb plots, this new show, with all the resources and writers and hindsight to fall back on, this all original Ahsoka, needs to be as idiotic as A New Hope.
Here's the gist of the original sin, visited upon by its descendent:
Ahsoka, a wise and experienced Jedi goes to great lengths to find a star map. She almost gets herself killed retrieving this McGuffin.
This invaluable star map will point her in the right direction to thwart a great evil said to be coming.
Yet, when she returns to her home base, Ahsoka simply hands this very precious star map over to young apprentice Sabine so she can "check it out".
The jeopardy that came from retrieving such a much coveted prize is simply ignored. It's like someone gave you a priceless diamond and then when you got into possession of it, you gave it to your puppy to play with resulting in the diamond going missing since she drops it down into a basin drain hole.
Now I realise that people often do stupid things like this.
However, we are NOT watching America's stupidest home videos. We are NOT watching a compilation of morons who put their children into laundry dryers because they can't be bothered to towel them off after a shower. We are NOT watching truck drivers overload their vehicles and skidding all over icy highways causing mayhem and destruction due to their negligence and lack of concern.
We are supposed to be in the presence of a jedi with years of training and mistakes transmogrified into pearls of wisdom after decades of self examination. We are meant to be seeing what it's like to have a jedi work out the complicated mysteries of a warring galaxy.
Instead, we get a master jedi unable to crack the code for a star map, we get a wilfully careless apprentice jedi lose that star map faster than you can lose a quarter into a jackpot machine. You get a host of star witches, star whales, robots who have archives that go back thousands of years. And yet, for all of that, you get master jedi who risks her life for a star map; only to go chasing for this star map for the rest of the series.
Irony? Sure.
Clever? Give me a break!
Ahsoka and the rest of the new Disney Plus shows reveal their lack of insight to the human condition and even to simple common sense. When heroes are nincompoops, what chance to the rest of us humans have?
In my own subjective opinion, the only show that had ever had an ounce of quality was The Mandalorian. Even that show, had its logic flaws that were real head-scratchers too., However, it was wildly successful due to the inclusion of a cute alien baby who beguiled and enchanted us.
The other shows unfortunately remained academic at best.
Wanting a Star Wars universe may be all fine and good in theory. It's been proving difficult to achieve. Especially when the source material itself was peppered with a lot nonsense plot lines and character inconsistencies.
Darth Vader for all his powerful persona, seemed to have endless bouts of petty infighting with his own generals. Did they not work together successfully to reach such a stage of strategic and firepower dominance?
How did they even get this far with all the bickering between high ranking people in the Empire?
Ahsoka, could have easily stopped all these inconsistencies. The team could be privately taken stock of their weaknesses. Developed a character who could honour her origins on an animated show scripted with a lot of exposition in order to cut down on the action shots that costs more money and time to animate.
I would like to have hope but right now, the only properties I am still interested in are The Mandalorian and the MCU. I don't even like the MCU tv shows either. They seem to lack the same direction and logic and emotional connection I have with the films.
Thank you for doing your best. I'm afraid all I have are my childhood memories. A promise for something epic and rewarding.
It's too bad that the Star Wars line is, May the Force be with You.
I fear the truth is closer to this. You've all been lazy and joined the Dark Side. And it's been this way for years.
Even before streaming, I was using personal library apps like Plex to access my own media transferred to a digital format. So yeah, I don't think I will go back to physical media or purchasing more and more films. Having streamers with a library of films and tv shows I know I'll be watching or rewatching is very good value.
But back to Star Wars: Ahsoka.
I get no joy from trashing a world I grew up with.
I was there in the theatres as a kid when A New Hope was showing. I was maybe 5 years old. Didn't really always understand what the hell was going on, but the world of Star Wars felt dynamic, alive and imaginative. The plot line was confusing, I probably only understood that last bit of the film where the fighting and the bad guys were getting demolished.
And I understood that this whole Jedi thing was about having a mystic connection to the universe while fighting with bizarre light samurai swords.
Fast forward to someone in his fifties, and my view on Star Wars has changed dramatically.
There is a lot wrong with even the original trilogy. Plot holes. Underdeveloped characters. The lack of a diverse cast. All those aspects dilute my enjoyment of the original films, if I'm totally honest. The stuff that doesn't change for me? The whole feeling of Star Wars. I think John Williams should be given some kind of Sainthood Award; because he has been the single-most winningest part of many a project/film/series.
Just look at the worlds he has created through the genius of film soundtrack? Star Wars. Indiana Jones. E. T. Superman.
Then you combine it with the special effects, character, costume and set designs of films like Star Wars; voila, a mythological universe is born!
Again - I digress.
Back of the Horrible news at hand.
Ahsoka sucks.
It really is as bad as A New Hope (in terms of plot hole stupidity).
Let's take A New Hope's dumb writing; (which I didn't/couldn't realise at the time since I was only 5 years old at the time).
Princess Leia gives R2D2 a secret mission and sends him off to a desert planet to look for Obi Wan Kenobi.
Do you know how unlikely and impossible that would be?
Imagine if someone dropped you off in China, or Russia, or India and asked you to look for Gary Woo. Or Lu Wei Chen. Or Anna Yeo. Or Peter Kominski. Or Prasad Ranganathan.
No picture, no coordinates, no telephone number, no email, no work or residential address, no fingerprints, no DNA, nothing. Zip.
Somehow, this robot who doesn't speak English, actually stumbles into Obi Wan Kenobi. And this somehow turns the course of the rebellion, fighting against incredible odds to defeat the Empire.
And fast forward to Ahsoka - Not to break the formula for dumb plots, this new show, with all the resources and writers and hindsight to fall back on, this all original Ahsoka, needs to be as idiotic as A New Hope.
Here's the gist of the original sin, visited upon by its descendent:
Ahsoka, a wise and experienced Jedi goes to great lengths to find a star map. She almost gets herself killed retrieving this McGuffin.
This invaluable star map will point her in the right direction to thwart a great evil said to be coming.
Yet, when she returns to her home base, Ahsoka simply hands this very precious star map over to young apprentice Sabine so she can "check it out".
The jeopardy that came from retrieving such a much coveted prize is simply ignored. It's like someone gave you a priceless diamond and then when you got into possession of it, you gave it to your puppy to play with resulting in the diamond going missing since she drops it down into a basin drain hole.
Now I realise that people often do stupid things like this.
However, we are NOT watching America's stupidest home videos. We are NOT watching a compilation of morons who put their children into laundry dryers because they can't be bothered to towel them off after a shower. We are NOT watching truck drivers overload their vehicles and skidding all over icy highways causing mayhem and destruction due to their negligence and lack of concern.
We are supposed to be in the presence of a jedi with years of training and mistakes transmogrified into pearls of wisdom after decades of self examination. We are meant to be seeing what it's like to have a jedi work out the complicated mysteries of a warring galaxy.
Instead, we get a master jedi unable to crack the code for a star map, we get a wilfully careless apprentice jedi lose that star map faster than you can lose a quarter into a jackpot machine. You get a host of star witches, star whales, robots who have archives that go back thousands of years. And yet, for all of that, you get master jedi who risks her life for a star map; only to go chasing for this star map for the rest of the series.
Irony? Sure.
Clever? Give me a break!
Ahsoka and the rest of the new Disney Plus shows reveal their lack of insight to the human condition and even to simple common sense. When heroes are nincompoops, what chance to the rest of us humans have?
In my own subjective opinion, the only show that had ever had an ounce of quality was The Mandalorian. Even that show, had its logic flaws that were real head-scratchers too., However, it was wildly successful due to the inclusion of a cute alien baby who beguiled and enchanted us.
The other shows unfortunately remained academic at best.
Wanting a Star Wars universe may be all fine and good in theory. It's been proving difficult to achieve. Especially when the source material itself was peppered with a lot nonsense plot lines and character inconsistencies.
Darth Vader for all his powerful persona, seemed to have endless bouts of petty infighting with his own generals. Did they not work together successfully to reach such a stage of strategic and firepower dominance?
How did they even get this far with all the bickering between high ranking people in the Empire?
Ahsoka, could have easily stopped all these inconsistencies. The team could be privately taken stock of their weaknesses. Developed a character who could honour her origins on an animated show scripted with a lot of exposition in order to cut down on the action shots that costs more money and time to animate.
I would like to have hope but right now, the only properties I am still interested in are The Mandalorian and the MCU. I don't even like the MCU tv shows either. They seem to lack the same direction and logic and emotional connection I have with the films.
Thank you for doing your best. I'm afraid all I have are my childhood memories. A promise for something epic and rewarding.
It's too bad that the Star Wars line is, May the Force be with You.
I fear the truth is closer to this. You've all been lazy and joined the Dark Side. And it's been this way for years.
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