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Reviews
Super 8 (2011)
This is almost like a send up of Spielberg films, a ridiculous waste of time
Shame I couldn't give this zero stars. It's almost a comedy, a black comedy really, watch it and see how many Spielberg clichés you can spot.
1) Anamorphic lens flare, what is that you say, well it's a special lens that causes a flash of usually blue light to run across the screen when there is a bright light source. You'll know it when you see and you'll see ALL OVER this film. It's like the director, J.J. Abrams felt he had to do homage to Spielberg ( who was the producer of this rubbish ).
2) The monster, difficult to see at first of course, finally turns out to be a mistreated alien just trying to get home - yes you score an extra two points for naming two other Spielberg films like that.
3) Crash, bang, shake, destroy - Watch as the monster shakes the various vehicles which frighten people inside - think Jurassic Park.
4) Meaningless redemption story, usually it's a divorced Dad reconciled with ex wife while proving he is really a superhero. This time is a Dad of a girl who is reconciled with the Dad of a boy, the boy and girl being best friends.
5) Alien returns home - no points for that one
6) Military who "know" what the problem is but won't tell the locals - honestly they just keep coming.
This film is truly awful and is literally made up of Spielberg building blocks. I have no idea how much involvement he had but his clichés are all over this in abundance.
The original premise, which is almost forgotten like it never really mattered in the first place, was promising but it seems to have got too boring to continue faced with the chance to blow a few things up and shake a few cars.
I have never understood Spielberg, a few good and original films, Close Encounters, Saving Private Ryan, Back to the Future ( although not the director ) and just a load of formulaic nonsense of no value IMO.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Rami Malek's performance is totally mesmerizing
In common with most of the world I am a Queen fan and of course their ultra charismatic lead singer, Freddie Mercury. I was looking forward to a history lesson and got a movie that blew me and my wife away. I can not begin to tell you how wonderful Rami Malek's performance is, I have no words. People might think it's because he looks like Freddie, sings like Freddie or even talks like Freddie -but it's none of those - it's because he acts this part with so much feeling you begin to think he is Freddie. If Rami Malek's doesn't win the Oscar I will be shocked.
The Predator (2018)
Shame I can't give it a minus number of stars so bad
Having seen many Predator films and enjoying most this is simply shocking. So bad that even after forcing ourselves to watch it and only 30 minutes from the end we moved on fast forward to the conclusion. That anyone claimed to have written the script is amazing. I'd have hung my head in shame before putting my name to this. Beyond a joke. A ten year old would have done a better job. The plot is not even worth commenting on. There is none. I want the time this film took from my life back. How this got made I just don't know. I assume the word "Predator" generates enough revenue to allow funding to be raised. It may not it will again after this. What a shame. The Predator in this film won't be back in the future. I doubt any "Predator" film will be made for a long time, when people have forgotten this film. Non-stop swearing, macho crap, no plot, characters that make you laugh out loud. What a shame for Predator fans.
Baby Driver (2017)
A wonderful 2 hours of fun, excitement and style
OK i can see where those that didn't like this film are coming from but I loved it. Style is key here 100% style from the first frame to the last. Excitement, fun , laughs and a good story. Great cast, well acted and just 2 hours of pure entertainment. Loved it.
The Mummy (2017)
So bad, so very bad
Imagine two people with scripts bumping into each other, the scripts fall to floor, get mixed up and the pages are all out of order.
Then one person walks off with a pile pages and makes a film based on it.
Being a fan of Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins I was happy to see Russell Crowe attempt a homage as Dr Jekyll , yes I know it's called "The Mummy" but remember those scripts were mixed up.
So bad.
This film is beyond a joke.
I don't think I ever seen a film that appears to have no director.
It's like a bunch of kids got together, dressed up and had a laugh.
A laugh that cost me money to watch.
Anyone expecting a loveable all action romp with a strong narritive can forget this film.
If you want to see everything that is wrong with Hollywood today here it is all in one place.
Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Don't waste your time
The number one reason to watch any film is the story, then how that story is made to come to life.
In this movie there is almost no story it's just special effect after special effect.
A pointless film that is too boring to even describe and too long to watch.
There is clearly a market for this type of film. Maybe people just like bright lights and loud noises but it's not for me.
As a Star Trek fan of old I think they should forget about making another one until they actually have a story that:
a) Justifies 90 to 100 minutes - anything longer is just padding b) Is something we haven't been told 100 times before c) Has real tense moments and real "I didn't expect that" twists.
This movie is dreadful, not sure why I have given it 2 stars ( I expect because I have seen even worse films )
Meet Joe Black (1998)
A great film , a modern classic, 3 hours will go in minutes
I seldom watch films over 2.30 hours these days. Most are just full of filler, but I have watched Meet Joe Black at least 10 times over the years, it never drags and I'd watch it again tomorrow.
The story is beautiful, the people are beautiful and the message is beautiful.
You can't love someone and want them for yourself if you know their best interests are served by being with someone else.
A sad story in many ways but also an uplifting one.
If you see Joe Black you won't forget him or the film.
You won't regret the almost 3 hours and you will feel you know more about what makes life important by the end.
I think it's a modern classic.
Fortitude (2015)
I want a refund of my life
I rarely invest hours of my life in watching series as they seldom deliver anything more than viewing stats for the networks/advertisers.
... but having watched the best TV I have seen in almost 50 years, House of Cards, I thought maybe I was missing out.
Fortitude came along with stunning views of one of my favourite countries, Iceland - If nothing else at least I would enjoy the scenery.
Well after putting up with 5 tedious, dull, uninteresting and pretentious episodes I want a refund of my life.
You know those games where everyone writes a sentence and then the group have to make them into a story ? It usually results in lots of laughter - it seems the people behind Fortitude had the same idea but forgot the laughter.
I have decided to wait until the end of series one and someone writes the plot on the back of cigarette packet, no a stamp. It will mean that I can at least recover a little from the wasted hours watching this nonsense.
Having great scenery, cinematography and actors ( they maybe able to act but you'd never know it from this ) is not enough.
Creating a pool of 1000 strange things just to get the response, "That's strange" is not a substitute for a plot, a narrative and a good twist.
This is TV by checklist:
1) Location - tick 2) Scenery - tick 3) Actors - tick 4) Odd things - tick 5) Story - ?
Someone wrote a review here saying ignore the negative reviews on Fortitude as it might be too clever for them - I expect they are the clever ones.
The line in Fortitude that says "no one can die here" doesn't relate to the viewers.
I'm out. Very poor Sky thought you could do better than this.
The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)
I can't believe it, a Matthew McConaughey film that is worth an Oscar
Like many I have found myself at a loose end and watched, without actually wanting to, the odd Matthew McConaughey film.
The end result is always the same, boredom and wanting the time back as a refund to my life.
So when my wife wanted to watch the Lincoln Lawler and I saw the name Matthew McConaughey my heart sank.
But..
I can not say how good this film is. It is now in my top 10 of all time and to my complete amazement Matthew McConaughey makes this film.
The story is first class, the cast first class, the filming first class and Matthew McConaughey is first class.
This film never drops, you won't notice the clock and you'll be sad when it ends.
I am watching it again for the second time only the day after watching it for the first - and enjoying it even more.
An Idiot Abroad (2010)
1,000,000 of travel documentaries, only 1 worth watching, Karl you are a star!
Karl is me. Karl likes travelling in style. Karl loves to be clean.
I love this.
Karl is forced to experience the "real" world of gap year travel adventures. The horror is "real" and I felt for Karl at every point in this simply wonderful program. This is not about Ricky or Steve, this is about the power they have to make a man desperate for fame and money do anything they want to. It is a power we all wished we had at sometime in our lives.
Karl becomes their victim, their toy, their muse. Karl shows how a man with simple thoughts and simple requirements finds the pain of earning success almost breaks him. The romance of travel is well and truly removed by this show yet at the same time the super high definition video is more breathtaking than any travel show I have ever seen.
You will laugh to you cry at poor Karl, the best thing Sky have ever made. I am ordering my Bluray after only seeing the first two programs and I know it will be money well spent.