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Burn Notice: The Fall of Sam Axe (2011)
The Relatively Comfortable Non-Fall of Sam Axe
The Fall of Sam Axe was quite disappointing. In its best episodes, Burn Notice is tightly written, entertaining, and has a chemistry between the actors. Little of that was present in this two-hour prequel. The story goes two years before the Burn Notice timeline, but what surprised me was how little it added to the overall narrative.
The movie follows Sam Axe, a supporting character in the show who supplies many of the laughs. As played by b-movie icon Bruce Campbell, he's a laid-back Lothario who knows a thing or two about combat. Here, we see Sam before a military tribunal, explaining what went wrong in his final Navy SEALS mission.
The mission into Colombia involves all the usual intrigue of corrupt military officials and freedom fighters that herd goats. As Sam defies orders to save the rebels, he's joined by two doctors, played by Kiele Sanches and RonReaco Lee. Both are chronic whiners throughout the movie and offer no real substance to the plot. In fact, the only passionate performance comes from Ilza Rosario, playing the young rebel Beatriz in a debut role.
Bruce Campbell has always been one of the great pleasures to watching Burn Notice. Here, as usual, he plays on the cult films of his past, at one point hurling a chainsaw in a nod to the Evil Dead trilogy. His appeal on the show was his devilish charm, a guy who doesn't mind name-dropping his connections. Ultimately, though, he's a Miami retiree with a good heart, and by setting this film before that, much of this is lost. Seeing him as an overweight soldier just feels off, and I wanted the Sam Axe we're familiar with.
The movie was directed by Jeffery Donovan, who plays the protagonist Michael Westen on the show proper. This makes his feature-film directing debut, and in the end the debut is weak. It feels too much like an episode stretched out over two hours, with no added urgency to justify the extra running time. The high mountains of Colombia (or an adequate fake) are cloudy and gray, a far cry from the colorful, populated streets of Miami. But even Donovan doesn't deserve all the blame: series creator Matt Nix wrote the screenplay and co-wrote the story. His pilot for the show won awards, deservedly so, for creating a fast-paced and fun atmosphere for his spies and rogue agents to play in. All of that is lacking here.
The best scene comes early on with a cameo by Donovan. His character Westen was still the CIA's top agent at this point, and the camaraderie between the him and Axe was sorely missed as the film progressed. Burn Notice is most at home with its leads and pushing them into ever-tighter corners, so The Fall of Sam Axe lacks all the advantages while making poor use of the show's breakout character. Bruce Campbell is an eminent crowd-pleaser, but the movie here is certainly not.
Kung Fu Panda (2008)
Light Entertainment
Kung Fu Panda is better than most Dreamworks animated films, using a screenplay with quite a few clever moments to tell the simple story of a panda who becomes an unlikely kung-fu hero.
Po serves as a fairly standard main character, longing to escape his dull life at a noodle restaurant and train as a martial artist. Unfortunately, he's a panda, rotund and uncoordinated, so he's stuck where he is. This changes when a prophecy reveals him as a Dragon Warrior, and he's taken to train with the kung-fu masters he's idolized: the Furious Five.
The movie is light on character and plot, we've seen these movies many times before: the underdog who perseveres to victory, and we have the montage sequence and menacing villains, colorful supporting characters. Jack Black gives a good performance as the voice of Po, same for Dustin Hoffman as a diminutive kung-fu sage. The Furious Five voice talent boasts some impressive names behind it, a shame since they're mostly relegated to shouts and grunts.
Character design was interesting, I was especially taken with the turtle and the glowing eyes of the tigers, and the background paintings were exquisite. Perhaps it's sad, then, that the actual martial arts sequences were often disappointing, they move so fast and feature so much camera-work that they become hard to follow.
All in all, Kung Fu Panda takes a familiar story and does it well, not much substance, but mostly fun, with a good dash of wit, charm, and nice presentation. They really went all-out on the color in this movie, itself a visual feast. The opening scene and end credits feature a hand-drawn style, and is certainly worth a few more points towards Dreamworks.
Those seeking light entertainment should check it out, and I think kids may enjoy it, though some of the battle scenes might be a bit scary for them. I report that it left a smile on my face; not beaming, like How to Train Your Dragon, but smiling nonetheless.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)
A Truly Unique Experience
Seeing the Aqua Teens movie at the local art-house theater, with a crowd of rowdy college students, was one of the top movie-going experiences of my life. The movie has been criticized for being nothing but a 90-minute episode. This is true, but that's exactly what I wanted. The Aqua Teens defy analysis, theirs is a world of the bizarre and the macabre, and to see their crazy world in feature-length, on the silver screen, was all you could hope for.
The movie's plot, and I use the term lightly, follows the Aqua Teens as they try to discover their secret past. It proposes answers to many of the series' lingering questions: why was Abe Lincoln sending the Teens to the Moon? How is Dr. Weird connected to the Teens? How did they come into being, and why? I didn't believe any of the answers they gave, and I'm fine with that.
It's wall-to-wall with humor of the most non-sequitur kind, there's no rhyme or reasons behind any of it, which is exactly what makes it so damn hilarious. The villain uses a giant exercise machine in his evil plans. Neil Peart, esteemed rock drummer, joins a miniature watermelon on the adventure. Meatwad's concert involves exploding kittens. Bruce Campell lends his voice as a talking Chicken McNugget. To have seen it in the theater was to go on something of a magic ride. The best line must be a tie between "We know you're invisible" and "Oh my god... where did you get that lollipop?"
To any fan of the cult television series, it's worth a look, for anyone else, maybe avoid it, start with a Season One DVD and work your way down the spiral staircase slowly.
The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! (2010)
A Fine Conclusion
Drawn Together was full-throttle crudity and crassness, and this concluding movie makes for a satisfying ending. Although very much made on the cheap, with many segments of filler, the movie stays on par with the series, not adding much more or taking much away.
I laughed. In fact, I laughed quite a bit. It makes a nice little argument that "gross for gross' sake" is alright, and takes its time to critique South Park, the show that took its time slot. For the makers of Drawn Together, it seems absurd that a show can only be crude if its making some sort of commentary, crudeness by itself can be just as funny and not so pretentious as South Park. Many of those laughs were "bad laughs", the kind where you feel ashamed afterward. I find those good for my health now and then.
Technically, the movie lacks some of the hand-drawn aesthetic of the show, but the bar wasn't too high to begin with. This was never a serious show, great for when you just wanted to switch your brain off for a half-hour, and the movie provided the same dumb humor, and after three seasons I came to expect occasional lapses in the writing quality. Worth a look for a fan of the show.