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dillon_ktm_06
Reviews
V/H/S (2012)
A skeleton popped out
First off, thank god I didn't pay for this movie. It is the biggest steaming pile of disjointed crap that I've ever been unfortunate to watch. The 'movie' is basically a few disjointed segments with no creative glue holding them together. A group of thieves break into an old man's house to find him dead watching static, they were supposed to steal a VHS tape. The thieves are clearly intelligent enough to take a video recording of all their crimes and this is the main plot in most of the movie. Long story short they find a bunch of tapes and each of them documents people dying in different paranormal circumstances, the characters of the main plot don't even react to what they're watching, they just stick on tape after tape while chilling out beside the dead guy as people from their group disappear. I'd disappear if I had to watch this again. After the 'main characters' (who barely deserve the term as there was no plot development or revelation amongst them) cop it it cuts to more shoddily filmed crap of a group of kids who end up in a real haunted house for Halloween then get accidentally by a train. I have no idea how people could possibly enjoy this, it's a series of uninventive shorts with no solid connection put together by a weak and predictable plot line. The camera-work is so shaky that I thought the producers must have filmed in Haiti during earthquake season and the acting is horribly substandard. The only good thing about the film was the gore and special effects.
21 Jump Street (2012)
Oh wow look another generic comedy
It seems like screen writers have been following the same set of rules for every comedy they churn out these days:
Awkward main character is awkward.// Awkward main character decides to do something to make himself not so awkward (become a pig).// Awkward character makes a close friend Awkward character becomes cool.// Awkward character develops a love interest.// Plot moves on.// Awkward main character and best friend's relationship becomes strained.// This causes repercussions generating an alltime 'low' in the movie, usually things are strained with love interest too.// Somehow magically it isn't the end of the line.// Cue music.// The duo redeem themselves High fives all round
Oh and there's some gags throughout
Copy this down people, follow this template and you could oneday be a millionaire.
I gave it 4 stars because it genuinely made me laugh at parts, the enrire film is cookie cutter though, though if a comedy makes you laugh it deserves stars.
Sorry for making this a pain in the backside to read, it wouldn't linebreak when I wanted it to.
-RP