Reviews

I like Martin Lawrence, I thought he was funny in "Martin", "Blue Streak" , and the Bad Boys films. In those films, however Lawrence plays a likable character. In National Security he plays a racist dolt. Lawrence is a security guard who tried and failed to be a LA cop. After a cop played by Steve Zahn mistakenly believes he is trying to steal a car, a bee flies by and Zahn tries to swat it away. It is misconstrued as an act of police brutality and Lawrence lies and gets Zahn thrown in jail.

Throughout the movie Lawrence's character is racist, he is also a hypocrite believing that white men shouldn't be with black woman, but if the roles are reversed well, that's just fine. Lawrence's character's actions aren't simply racist against whites but against blacks as well, making whites look racist against blacks and blacks look like race-card playing jerks. If the roles were reversed and Zahn was making stupid quips about blacks this film would be assailed as racist, if it were released at all. Avoid.

Ah, Seinfeld. Where do I begin with my dislike for thee? Well, let's start with the four main characters.

Jerry: The leader of the four and the main character. He is an unfunny rather wimpy character, who somehow earns a living as a stand-up comedian. I have seen funnier comedians at open-mike nights at my college. Mr. Seinfeld seems to think that saying something in a whiny voice will make it funny, but he just comes off as a whiny little punk.

George-A gloomy Gus who seems to take pleasure in complaining about everything in his life. When he lands a soft job with the New York Yankees he moans and groans as if he is be asked to handle live cobras. Perhaps because of this he has an inability to keep a job, yet somehow he gets to go out with gorgeous women. His parents are obnoxious, especially his father,with that kind of home life growing maybe it's no surprise George is the way he is.

Elaine-A woman who can never find the "right guy" , which seems to be a cause for much amusement in the Seinfeld universe. Elaine is steadily employed , and she is the character that grates on my nerves the least.

Kramer- A puffy haired dope who acts like he is on crack. A guy who does absolutely nothing and yet always seems to have money, he lives across the hall from Jerry. Some people find Kramer to be "quirky" i find him to be an obnoxious cad. Kramer is the sort of guy who, if you encountered him, would make you call the police or a mental hospital. Instead when people meet him, Kramer is regarded is royalty or some such thing.He is good friend with the obnoxious Newman a mailman who's only function is to get on everyone's nerves. Well here the writers hit a success, Newman, like all the other characters is annoying as all get out.

This short tells of Nick, a shy guy who has long had a desire to ask sweet Kay out on a date. Jeff his buddy, suggests taking Kay to a "scavenger sale" a kind-of indoor garage sale, and Nick does only after his attempt to take Kay to "Wagon Train" is foiled because Kay has seen the film. They end up having a nice time and Nick sees a schedule of things to do, so he sets another date with Kay to go to a weenie roast.

Overall this short film was sweet and gave some decent advice for dating, (make sure the other person will enjoy the activity, double date, choose dates that aren't too expensive etc) but the acting is wooden and the styling is badly dated. Still you can do worse for education shorts. "Drugs are Like That" for instance.

Are we there yet is a clichéd film about a man named Nick(Ice Cube) who falls in love with a woman played by Nia Long. Ms. Long has two kids who could charitably be called hellions. They cause Nick to wreck his car, get beaten up, and generally show no respect for a guy who is doing a HUGE favor for their mother, although why she would miss these bratty terrors is a mystery. Ice Cube is okay as the put upon nice guy who has to take all the abuse from these monsters. Nia Long is okay too, I guess, however the actors playing the kids are horrific. This movie should be shown to suspected Al Qaeda terrorists, having to watch this dreadful waste of celluloid would make them talk. Avoid this movie at all costs, unless you have some sort of masochist desire to watch one of the worst family films of all time.

This educational short film features two hideously dressed children (girl and boy)who are talking about drugs, I think. The girl had a lady come and talk to her class about drugs. The girl basically recounts the speakers' message to her brother, the message seems to compare drugs to many things including a lake, children's' games, a girl getting cookies and falling, and swinging on a rope into the aforementioned lake. The kids are building something with Legos, which develops into a subplot. Eventually the Lego thing is destroyed after the girl changes the design, the kids speculate that people are like that machine, in that if you change one thing(doing drugs) you can destroy your life.

I hate this movie. It tells the story of a English professor who makes an an impact on his student and challenges them to take on the "man" , in this case their private school. The problem is that the teacher is treated as a angel who can do no wrong, even when he encourages his students to rip out pages of a book because he didn't agree with the author's opinions. "Be open-minded, unless you disagree with a person." seems to be be his message.

The movie is heavy handed. All of the people who dislike the teacher are members of the "oppressive" leadership of the school, with the exception of the turncoat student who, as another reviewer points out, is given lines that make him look like a Neo-Nazi. Everyone who likes the teacher is good everyone who disagrees bad. Sorry the world does not work that way, sometimes bad people support good leaders, and vice versa. There was also the suicide of a student, which was not integral to the plot, and therefore seems like a pointless development, except to make the audience feel for the kid and therefore the teacher. Using a death seems like a manipulative trick on behalf of the filmmakers. Don't fall for the filmmakers' tricks. This movie is not inspirational , it is deceiving, and overbearing with it's supposed message of freedom.

I hate this movie. Ferris is a whiny spoiled little ass who believes himself worthy of having a day off from school, stealing his best buddy's dad's Ferrari and becoming the grand marshal of a parade. All of this might have been forgiven if Ferris were in the least bit likable , but he's not. He is a bullying, snobbish, jerk who uses his parents, hacks on to a computer , destroys Cameron(his buddy)'s dad Ferrari, and escapes with no punishment. Everybody, save the unfortunate principal and his sister loves Ferris and thinks he's a great guy. Sorry, but if I had to choose a friend I would choose his buddy, the likable and put upon Cameron, rather than the egotistical jackass that is Ferris. It has good music though which is the only reason it rises above a "1" for me.

This movie is a story of an elfin Drew Carrey look-a-like who wants a BB gun for Christmas. The kid is a an obnoxious brat but his home-life is less than ideal. The father was a drunken profanity-spewing lout, the mother was a lack-wit, and the child a nine-year old boy, is forced to wear a pink bunny costume sent by his grandmother. This is not even counting the bloody fights the kid getting stuck to the street-lamp, or tour main character getting using profanity and then laying the blame on an innocent classmate. What holiday joy, and now it's on a twenty-four hour loop on TBS, and people wonder why i drink over the holidays.

The movie was shown in my high school before Christmas break, and I always hated to watch it. Honestly I'd rather take mid-term exams than watch this movie. I was good on exams, but instead of taking the exams at the prescribed time, our teacher,who was generally a good guy, had us take our exams early(over a couple of days) so that we could watch this depressing waste of celluloid. All in all though I'd rather take a mid-term, have a root canal or bang my head against a tree than watch this horrid movie.

Caillou is one of the most annoying shows to ever grace American Public Television. I consider it worse than Barney, as horrid as that may seem. It revolves around a bald Canadian brat, his sister Rosie, and his two parents. Caillou acts like a complete spoiled child, and is rarely disciplined for his tantrums. Now I know kids of Caillou's supposed age(4) can throw tantrums, I work in retail and have seen some whoppers. Parents generally try to do something to get their child to calm down. However, Calliou's parents do nothing. Plus there was an episode where he called a black kid "monkey" ,(they were pretending to be animals, but still...) the narrator's voice is cloying, and the animation gave me a headache.