Reviews

Just rented this from Hollywood video today and i have to say I'm semi-impressed. The opening trailers on the DVD had me worried. They were TERRIBLE. But i can honestly say had this film been on TV i would have watched it. Sadly i payed money for it... not sure if it's worth that. I REALLY wanted to smack the creators of the DVD cover (although i should shake their hands they were doing their jobs) I fell for the PROJECT GREENLIGHT tag attached to the film. That's what i get for not doing my homework before renting this. I thought THIS was the horror film which project green-light was working on and thus the reason why i rented it. Only later did i realize that it was just running off Kyle Rankin and Efram Potelle's "Battle of Shaker Heights" (a MUCH better movie). Silly girl. I should have known not to take it when the title "A Cult CLASSIC" was proudly displayed. And had I taken a moment to USE my college degree and actually decipher the coded quote from ABC News on the back i might have put the film back completely. "... makes silence of the lambs seem like breakfast at tiffany's". First off, and ellipses at the beginning of ANY quote only means that the writer had something else to say, but the editor decided it would either a)not be important or b)not work for their purpose. My guess after watching this, the ABC News reviewer was saying that this film made Silence of the Lambs look like a classic (which it is, so really that's redundant). I'm really not trying to bash this film, it was a great first effort and there are things about it which are great. Kyle's performance as Alec Clark is quite good. Mary Skinner is great, even if she did sorta come off like a cross between Charlize Theron and Ashley Judd, but hey what's wrong with that? It was just some of the lines and the overall feeling of boredom which kinda made me wish i had just stumbled onto this on cable one lonely night.

My only question....

Why is Hollywood Video renting this as a film called The Girl in the Basement? No one owns a title of a film. I can call my film Casablanca if i want, so why change the name from Reindeer Games to that, unless you're worried about it getting mixed up with that horrible Charlize Theron, Ben Affleck piece of junk. (hmmm Kyle looks a lot like Affleck, and Mary looks a hell of a lot like CHarlize... crazy). If I were them i would have left it, or at least contacted IMDb some how and let the know that the film has a new title.

To wrap up, not a bad film, not a good film. I give it a solid 4 out of 10

Vampire films need to take a break. Everything has been done, just put it on a shelf for a while and come back in about 10 years. That sounds good to me.

ANYWAY, Blade Trinity isn't the worst film ever made. With that said, it's not up to the brilliance of the first Blade film either. In the long honored tradition of Triologies, this film is decent. Just as Crusade was hundreds of times better than Temple of Doom, but nowhere near as good as Raiders of the Lost ark and Matrix Revolutions made up for the crap that Reloaded tried to feed us, but still failed to impress us like the original did; Blade Trinity puts up a good fight but in the end just isn't as great as the first.

First boo boo, they brought in the kid idea. What is it with producers in Hollywood... you get a actor who is too old to hold his own in the film, i know... we'll give them a child! They can take up the action slack. Enter Jessica Biel. Whistler's compound bow toting daughter. (yeah i know in the first film he said the vampires had killed his family, don't worry they clear this up) Anyway she can fight with the best of them.... a little too good. Honestly she was too good at taking on the vampires, um excuse me but with people like her, why do we need blade? Van Helsing would give his right...um well you know what appendage... to be as good as her.

Then there is Ryan Reynolds. A funny, funny (and HOT...whew eee!! Ladies, if your boyfriend forces you to watch this, you'll still have something to look at) man. But he's a little too funny. Meaning he seems to try too hard for the gag. I hope he's not acting like this in Amityville horror, that would be sad. In Blade they seem to have him around only to make stupid jokes. At least his fighting wasn't up to par with Biels, this making him a bit more believable when fighting with the vampires. His connection to Parker Posey and how he became a vampire is amusing if nothing else. Would have liked to seen a more romantic element between him and biel, but eh... it's guy film, not Jane Austen.

Anyway, Dracula was probably the weakest character in the film, he had no connection to the vampires and really i didn't see him as much of a threat. Stephen Dorf was way cooler and far more in charge (and surprisingly much SMALLER size wise) than this guy and he was just a half-breed. (not much mention of the hatred between the pure breds and half breeds in this film, which is sad. I thought that was one of the most inventive and interesting things about the first film.

The second worst character was Parker Posey. Bad hair, bad clothes and teeth so big she couldn't even talk right. She sounded like they had jabbed a wad of cotton in her mouth. Stupid, stupid, it's a film you HAVE to understand what the actress is saying, not try to guess and be forced to turn on the subtitles only to find out she's not saying anything really interesting anyway. Her one liner, "HANNIBAL KING!" when Reynolds (Reynold's character is named Hannibal King) crashes into a room is ridiculous. Um... great thanks for letting us know honey. We really needed to know RIGHT NOW what his name is, thanks for that. Why don't you go stand in the corner and watch the men fight... *rolling eyes*

Finally there is Triple H....what the.... just like Edge in Highlander Endgame, he's only there for star appeal. So many young adults ages 16-35 know who he is and thus they'll come just to see him. His character was very 2 dimensional, heck, i'm not even sure if they gave him a name... i missed it that's for sure. His dog was cool, but that was about it. And his climatic fight was like watching Monday Night Raw, other than that... ugh.

So what am i saying here? Did i hate it? No, not really. I know it sounds that way, but like i said there was something about it, something that made it okay-ish. The compound bow was awesome (but then again I'm and archer myself, so that's that) and a few of the gadgets were cool. But i just couldn't get behind any of the characters. The first blade made me feel bad for him, made me really like Whistler, made me LOVE Stephan Dorf and even take a liking to his nearly non-speaking girlfriend played by Traci Lords. Trinity kept making me wish for more and finding myself increasingly unsurprised when it wasn't given to me.

scale 1-10 action: 9 plot - 4 dialogue - 3 OVERALL : a weak 6. Sorry the action just barely saved it.

This film is a crime! This bbc production is probably the worst thing ever created by the BBC. Forget about wooden, these actors are set in cement! Although it does follow austen's novel, the camera work is lousey, its as if you are watching a play, close ups are rare and when done, you find yourself half way up the actor's nose. Marianne is far to irritating, she rivals the character of lydia from Pride and Prejudice in the biggest pain in the butt factor. the character of Margaret is completely cut out of the film, which one would think would not be a huge deal, since she's not that important of a character. However, the family dynamic just seems wrong without a little sister to liven things up now and then. Edward is scary! In fact looks wise (which ordinarly i would never mention), all of the characters are a bit freakish. And the worst part is that Willoughby is dressed like a demented evil lephercan (sp?) the majority of the movie. He's nothing to pine over, that's for sure. All in all, this movie is terrible and if you're trying to get a friend to fall in love with Austen DO NOT SHOW THEM THIS! This movie will make even a hardcore lover of Austen to think twice about her work. It's slow, and boring. Her spirit is NOT with this film. I give it a -5. and a big "UCK!"