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ramspott
Reviews
Cool as Ice (1991)
WOW!!!
This movie is so freaking funny. People reading these reviews might think that the reviewers are trying to be funny because its so bad of a flick. Well, it is a really bad flick, but its sooooo bad, that its hilarious. It really is a rare gift. If you were too old or too young to have appreciated just how ridiculus Vanilla Ice is/was, then skip it. If you are in the 22-32 age range, this movie is a must see. The easiest way I can explain why this movie is enjoyable, is...well....Remember those old Atari football games and stuff when the other dude gets past you so bad, that you can just wrap around the screen to the left and tackle the dude, thus saving the day? Its kinda like that. So bad, that its off the charts, and comes back atcha from the other direction, and slaps you upside the head with laughter. That doesn't do it justice, but at least I tried. Trust me, its funny.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
garbage
This movie is really, really bad. It is horrible in comparison to the other "T" movies. I don't know how this thing is up to a 7.0 out of 10. Where do they get these actors. The only one who is even remotely convincing (and she was indeed remotely convincing) was the Claire Danes chick. What a horribly scripted film. Arnie's lines remind me of that Vanilla Ice movie; bad one liner after bad one liner. The T-X girl doesn't even have a line. And why was she supposed to be more impressive than the T-1000? Because she can hotwire a car? And did they really kill her off the same way they killed Arnold off in the first Terminator? You have GOT to be kidding me. The only potential saving grace is the fact that this movie is so bad, that there is a lot of unintentionally funny moments, such as the T-101's "moral dilemma", and a lot of the plot is comically bad. Talk about corny. Can Arnold even act? I have seen a lot of his movies, and he tends to play the wooden meathead with limited vocabulary very well. I believe we saw it in T1, T2, T3, Kindergarten Cop, Twins, Commando, and every other movie I've ever seen him in. "She'll be back", "I'm back", "Talk to the hand": If these phrases are what you want to hear over and over, then by all means, go see this terrible movie. I believe I've heard them enough from 9 year olds imitating this movie, that I can't believe I wasted my time watching it. At least I didn't pay for it. I give it 2 out of 10, and that's only for the unintentionally comedic plot points.
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
Wow.
This movie is good. It is now my all time favorite movie. I had extremely high expectations for these films. I like to read, and LOTR is my favorite book, so I didn't want them to F it up in movie form.
I thought FOTR was good, but not quite as good as I was hoping. TTT was awesome, and a little better than I was hoping. ROTK is incredible, and is obviously the best movie of the three. The only thing that might make it not the highest selling movie ever is if people didn't like FOTR, or didn't see one of the other two, because you kind of need to see those to get what's going on. Ya know? Anyway, if I was going to die right now, and someone gave me the option of watching one movie before I sail into the West, it would most definitely be the Return of the King. This movie is 3 hours and 20 minutes of brilliance. The whole entire thing.
IF, and I mean IF, I had to pick a scene or confrontation that I thought was the least well done, I would have to say the whole part with the dead army. I would have liked to see a bit more hopelessness with that part. But I guess when I read the book, I didn't feel hopeless there, either. I'd say the best part for me was the Crack of Doom, and the cathartic moments between Frodo and Sam before Gwaihir comes, and any time the Nazgul are cruising. Amazing.
SEE THIS MOVIE. 10/10, and then some. Makes the Godfather look like the Grandfather. Makes The Empire Strikes Back look like the Phantom Menace. You get the point.
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
Wow.
Are you kidding me? 10/10. Actually, I would probably give this a 9.5 or 9.6 out of ten, with the Two Towers getting a 9.8 or 9.9 out of ten. If you have seen the ROTK, you would probably give that a 10, too, as I have. If you consider each of these movies separately, they are all fantastic. If you take these movies to be one 12 hour movie (extended editions people: see them), as is the intent, it is EASILY the greatest achievement in film history. I am so freaking glad I have seen the word "sequel" appear so infrequently in these comments. LOTR is the seqeul (to The Hobbit). If you haven't seen thi(e)s(e) movie(s), you are only robbing yourselves.
A word on the extended editions to people who haven't seen them. They don't add in the stupid outtakes and stuff like they do on some movies, they add the stuff right in the middle, and after viewing it once, you will never watch the theatrical release again. There will be no desire. The new scenes are edited and finished and flow seamlessly with the rest of the movie. I can't even tell you which parts were added anymore. Nor do I even think about it while watching the movies. Well worth the investment if you enjoyed the theatrical release. I think everyone would agree it only improves the movie.
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
Where is Return of the King, my Precioussss?
Any movie that can do justice to what I consider the best book of all time gets a 10/10. Possible bad things Faramir's character is changed substantially, from one of my personal favorite characters to what amounts to another Boromir. I hope they attempt to rectify that in ROTK. I have a feeling they will. Also, having Frodo and Sam go to see Denethor was uncalled for, and I am not sure what that accomplished. Definite good things--Gollum/Smeagol is the most complex, (bizzarre?) character I can think of in literature, and PJackson got it dead on. Try watching the Phantom Menace, and how crappy of a job they did with Jar Jar, among other things, and then watch this, and tell me the effects aren't better. Or Attack of the Clones, or the Hulk, or pretty much any other movie ever made, with exceptions I cannot think of. Holy cow. Smeagol might have every psychological disease known to man. The dialogue/confrontation between Smeagol, Sam, and Frodo was superb. Aragorn was awesome. Pretty much everything was awesome. People complain about the Ent sequences being slow, but if you read the book, it seems to drag on there, too. I mean seriously, don't be so hasty. I thought FOTR was also excellent, but that this one was better. Not sure why, but I think it's because I just like the last two thirds of the book better than the exposition (FOTR). Anyway, this is the best movie I have ever seen, and I expect it to remain that way for about 4 more months until ROTK comes out. And for crying out loud people, READ THE BOOK TOO! (First, if you have a brain.)
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
nice
This movie is funny as heck for anyone who enjoys irreverent comedy. Everytime I am forced to sit through one of my girlfriends teen movies, I see a scene that this movie makes fun of that I never "got" before. 10/10 from me, this one rocks.