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Reviews
The Rift (2012)
Did an 8-Year-Old Write This?
I think the cast and crew are responsible for 9 out of 10 reviews on this movie. Writing has never been worse than that used to create this pile of dung. The dialog was rubbish, the acting was garbage--especially the "secret agent" or whatever the hell he was supposed to be. He looked like a drunk they found on the street and dressed up in the worst suit you've ever seen. I swear they threw a glass of water on his face to make him look like he was crying at one point. The story telling was extremely clumsy and sorely lacking in continuity. The ending was just plain STUPID. There's just no other word that's appropriate.
I've seen plenty of really, really bad movies though most of them were done by people aware of how bad they were. The people involved in this movie seem to be clueless as to how bad it is.
The Neighbors (2012)
Too Good, Too Lighthearted to Last?
I've only seen Lenny Venito once before and I was so impressed with him I knew immediately this show would shine. He's one of those guys who can be funny just standing still. And then there's Jami Gertz who displays perfect comedic timing in this show, not to mention she gets some of the best lines.
There's a lot that would seem to be formulaic on the surface yet grows on you very quickly as the premise just gives a neat context for some zany situations. Just about every male alien seems to be latently gay until you realize they are just innocent alien SUPER NERDS that have no clue how human men are "supposed" to behave. The cultural misunderstandings occur frequently and actually are quite funny, even if you expect the punchline. And the physical comedy displayed by Toks Olagundoye (AKA Jackie Joyner Kersee), being a giant Amazon Woman From the Moon (I'm guessing), have given my roommate and I some great laughs. She's a superb actress (The Real Housewives of New Jersey skit was simply amazing) who obviously truly understands how to be a comedian.
There's a lot more I can say about this show, but it's not necessary as it stands on it's own and doesn't need IMDb reviewers to defend it. I just worry when a show displays real charm that's DIFFERENT from other shows (The Finder immediately comes to mind, WHAT A CRIME!), as those kinds of shows take some time to create a real following. Executive producers don't give a DAMN about whether a show makes viewers happy; they only care about commercial profit--which would come if they only had the damn patience to give these shows enough time to get the notice they deserve. Chuck, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Everybody Loves Raymond, Seinfeld, ER and the list goes on, to name some prime examples. Not to mention a lot of shows are viewed online nowadays (not to mention file sharing) , making TV shows appear to have low ratings when it's quite the opposite. It's the COMMERCIALS that aren't being watched.
Anyway, the actors in this show bring real life to their respective characters and I hope they succeed in making it popular enough to dodge the chopping block. So watch it and enjoy!
The Finder (2012)
VERY funny!
I liked bones, but I hardly ever watched it. My roommates love it and can't miss an episode. So when I heard about a spin off I was mildly curious. After reading about the plot I had to see it. I wasn't just happy that I did but I was ecstatic about it. Geoff Stults especially had my roommate and I rolling on the floor in episode 4. There are so many good shows to watch (none of them are on TNT IMO) and this is a must see for me.
As for the supporting cast I give them all 5 stars but Stults is funny just sitting still. Actually, he has the weirdest-looking head I've ever seen in a TV show. Where did he get that chin???
Superb show that will touch your funny bone in all the right places.
Three Inches (2011)
Lot more style than Alphas
Just want to be brief. This is one of the best Syfy has come up with in a while. The actors are great at delivering their lines, there's a lot of humor that just comes naturally to the characters. Everyone seems at ease with their respective roles.
Saw a few mistakes (I'm hyper-analytical), such as sound effects being added that weren't even there in the beginning of the story! I think sound effects pollute the use of superpowers in most films and shows--it's like using 555 for a phone number to announce, "Hey, we're in a movie!" Sometimes they're appropriate (laser beam eyes would make a crackling sound as the heat burns the surrounding atmosphere, for instance). Saw a couple issues with timing, such as ducking someone coming out of a doorway BEFORE being able to even see into said doorway let alone the person coming out of it. But as a whole the entire show out-shined those very minor flaws.
The characters are quite interesting, especially since some of their powers are quite underwhelming on their own (they're meant to be). Didn't notice any cheesy effects or typical green screen giveaways (I spot them most of the time, even in uber high budget films where the directors are gods in Movieland). Very little in this show requires the use of such special effects and the parts that do are executed quite well.
I lost interest in Alphas because it is too heavy-handed and doesn't bring anything new and, in fact, is over-the-top with a lot of stuff. While Three Inches has a very similar premise, the delivery is exceedingly better than Alphas as well as other shows.
If this isn't green-lighted for more episodes then I'm almost out of shows to watch on Syfy, save for Warehouse 13 (gets funnier every episode, which more than makes up for some ridiculous plots in some episodes, most of which include Fargo from Eureka--not his timeline, not his universe!) :)
Perfect Sense (2011)
The Most Terrifying Film I've seen in Years!
Yes, it's a romantic film. There's a lot of light-hearted stuff in the mix. But the concept of what inevitably will happen and the events mapping the way were frightening to me. I had a very present fear that the same thing could happen to me, silly as that sounds. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach at the end.
My roommate and I watched this and Contagion on the same night. Compared to this, Contagion was a let down and almost boring--not denying that it was a really good film, it just wasn't as polished. Perfect Sense had so much STYLE and kept us glued to the screen. It was so entertaining! I think it's my favorite "world might be ending" movie of all time. I've never been so satisfied by a film of this genre before.
The Tunnel (2011)
Made me a fan again of Aussie Horror/Scifi
Acting was so perfect it felt like a real documentary. I've seen a few diamonds in the rough come through Vodo, but this one is a solid gem. The acting was so fluid and natural that I had to keep reminding myself that it was a work of fiction.
The first 40 minutes were about characters rather than the actual plot of the film. It mostly explained how the journalists ended up going into the tunnels, but once they get there it starts getting pretty entertaining. Several funny moments, moments that make you like the characters more and more. Then hell starts to descend on them from within the tunnels, culminating into unrelenting dread from beginning to the end.
Enjoy!
Eugene (2009)
Beautifully Acted--Portrayal of a Painful Life
Why anyone would give this film a low rating is a mystery to me. Just a sign of how dummied down our American public really has become. Such low brow reviewers are probably the kind of people who run with scissors! I mean, they are some real life window lickers! This film is excellent. It's wholly realistic story telling. It's character driven and the dialogue is well crafted. It's as if you are watching a real person live a real life instead of a movie. It has one of the best performances I've ever seen. Stuart Bennett pulled of the role of a lifetime. The supporting cast is superb, as well.
What? You don't recognize the names? One must realize that some of the best talent comes from ordinary people without a giant Hollywood resume. Turn your brains on and enjoy this masterpiece.
Eden Lake (2008)
More than just uncomfortable to watch.
I'll start out by saying that the acting is superb and because of the actors the characters were believable. That is the only good thing I will say about this waste of film.
I found myself forcing myself to watch it to the end in the hopes that something good would triumph over evil. It never happened. The characters were what they were supposed to be and the bad guys made you hate them to the point where you will seethe with anger toward them.
But the film went too far. It's as if the director relishes in homicidal fantasies. Forcing us to watch a child set on fire and burn to death was beyond overkill. The story could have been told without that scene and half a dozen others. This movie is just disgusting.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand (2010)
Cartoonish and Cheap Special Effects and Bad Choreography
The director of this series must have been on a very low budget. The fight scenes are pure CGI; in fact, most of the scenes are CGI and involve no real world settings whatsoever! Whoever handled the fight scenes as well as the special effects obviously has zero knowledge of human anatomy. Blood spurts in buckets even from what should be mere surface wounds. If someone gets sliced and diced their insides bare no resemblance to what the inside of human limbs, necks and torsos actually look like. The blood looks nothing like blood (they couldn't even get the shade of red right!!!) and has the consistency of colored water! The acting is fine, especially when John Hannah lights up the screen with his polished delivery of the lines that they gave him. But most of the dialog seems to have been judicially edited to the point of losing the connection between the beginning of a speech and the end of it. This show appears to be written for teenage boys, not adults (which explains the over use of lesbian scenes that involve full frontal nudity). It's just very, very silly.
I give some of the actors a B+, so for the ones who can act I offer a star or two, otherwise I'd give this series no stars.
Altered (2006)
As good as you can get for an $8 Million budget!
Loved this movie. Imagine a group of hillbillies living through an alien abduction and finally getting the chance to get THEIR turn. When it first starts, it looks like it has the potential to be a cheese-fest, but as it turns out the acting is very well done. The actors play their individual characters almost to perfection. They are what they are: Small town country boys trying to redeem themselves, but unsure of how to finish what they started.
I have no real criticism of this film because it accomplished exactly what it intended. It was very, very fun to watch, although it wasn't scary from the audience's point of view, but the actors showed fear in a way that was true to their respective characters. The casting was just about perfect. Each character behaved exactly as you would expect them to.
I was surprised at the quality of the creature effects and the effectiveness of the makeup artists. A couple things, namely intestines, weren't so impressive, but everything else was well done, especially when one of the characters develops an infection caused by an alien bite. I can't say enough about how well done the effects were.
It's really the same kind of movie as Tremors as it doesn't want any emotional investment from the viewers. It just wants to entertain. Eduardo Sánchez outdid himself with this one!