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kenzokeith
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Reviews
The Orville: All the World Is Birthday Cake (2019)
Driver, this is my stop!
This show had initially defied my high expectations, and has been circling the drain for some time. But congratulations are in order to this episode for commencing the cancellation of the series recording on my DVR.
There are countless flaws with this hot trash script, which was obviously written by a six year old, including everything from a plywood prison to a tiny dot in the sky ex machina. And as much as I would love to list them all, I fear it would take longer than the actual show. So I will just name what I feel was the most important issue that destroyed all suspended disbelief, rendering me unable to do anything but yell at the TV. Astrological signs are based on celestial location. Two people born at the exact same second on two different planets share no astrological similarities. Astrology includes the MOON!
And for the complete list, you can just read the other reviews... and goofs. I mean, how often does the goofs section include major plot holes instead of just tolerable continuity errors? This show is in a major network time slot. How on earth do they not have the budget to do better than this episode? They HAVE to be blowing it all on craft services. This is embarrassing.
I've given up all hope of being engrossed in this show, having found myself spending a full hour each week arguing with a television. It's as though someone has left a flaming paper sack of dogcrap on my doorstep. I am now refusing to stomp it out. I will just be shutting the door.
Narc (2002)
Dark and edgy crime drama
This movie was as good as I expected it to be. It was raw, nasty and just violent enough. Both Patric and Liotta were totally immersed in their characters and it was directed impeccably. The fighting and shootouts were realistic (although the blood looked a little fake) and there wasn't one bad actor to speak of.
The only problem I have is with a hole in the plot. If Oak is so concerned with Calvess' widow receiving his pension, why would he care that Cheevers wanted to pin his death on Eugene Sheps? It would have solved that problem. And he could still get his revenge on Love and Steeds later by killing them, which he came within an inch of anyway. The concept that Oak felt that Love and Steeds were responsible for Calvess' addiction and would only accept their wrongful conviction of his murder as suitable revenge is a little bit of a stretch.
Purgatory (1999)
Disappointing
I found this movie to be an unexpected letdown. The premise and cast seemed promising enough, but the script wasn't able to deliver. It's interesting to point out that although I was initially unaware that it was a made-for-TV movie, halfway through it felt like I was watching Wifetime. The film is littered with clichés, inconsistencies, and unanswered questions. For instance, when the first gang member was killed (presumably by god) for attempting murder, why weren't the rest treated the same way? In fact, with that precedent (that the townspeople were protected by god), there wouldn't have been anywhere for the story to go. So why was that scene even included? And why would being innocently killed by the gang cause the sheriff to go to hell?
But, despite the obvious problem areas, this film should be moderately enjoyable for the Western lover.
Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (2005)
UN-funny
He should be looking for comedy anywhere on earth he can find it, and hopefully learn a thing or two. There was one good joke in the whole movie, and I can't remember what it was because I was bored to tears the rest of the time. But the worst part wasn't the lack of comedy, it was the poor writing. It was one of those films where plot devices were either wasted or completely absent. And it seemed to avoid any type of climax. The entire movie kind of farted around and eventually there's a "blink-and-you-miss-it" ending where it sort of makes a little sense. I found myself longing for the spoon-fed, cookie-cutter, predictable yet efficient Adam Sandler style comedy plot. I only gave this two stars because I sat through it all and didn't have to leave the room. Bad.