Reviews

Martin Brody is the new police chief of Amity, an island resort town Somewhere in New England. He has a wife named Ellen, and two sons named Michael and Sean. On a summer morning, Brody is called to the beach, where the mangled body of Summer vacationer Chrissie Watkins has washed ashore. The medical examiner tells Brody that it could have been a shark that killed Watkins.

Mayor Larry Vaughn, who is desperate to not lose the money that, will be brought in by 4th of July tourists, wants Brody to say Watkins's death was caused by a motorboat propeller instead of a shark, because the thought of a shark in Amity's waters would drive tourists away from Amity. It looks like Vaughn is a mayor who puts money ahead of people's lives. Shark expert Matt Hooper believes Watkins was killed by a shark. Hooper is proved right a few days later, when Alex Kintner is killed by the shark that killed Watkins.

Looking for the quickest solution, Vaughn tells the entire local fishermen to let him know if they see the shark. A shark hunter named Quint offers to find the shark and kill it, but Vaughn thinks Quint's price of $10,000 is too high. When a tiger shark is killed and hauled in by a couple of boaters, Vaughn hastily says that the shark crisis is over, but Hooper says the shark that's been killing people a huge great white shark is still in Amity's waters, but Vaughn leaves the beaches opened because all he cares about is the 4th of July tourist money.

On the 4th of July, Vaughn encourages people to swim at the beach, and Hooper is proved right again when the shark kills a man, biting the man's leg off. Michael, who was in the water at the time of the attack, is taken to the hospital, where he's treated for shock after watching the shark kill the guy. Brody asks Vaughn to hire Quint to find the shark. Because his own kids were at that beach too, Vaughn agrees to hire Quint to find the shark. Quint, Hooper, and Brody are sent out to sea in Quint's boat, the Orca, ready to do whatever it takes to find the shark.

Ever since I was, at least five years old, Jaws has, and will always be my all time favorite movie. Going on 30 years old, there has yet to be a film that has the amount of intensity and brilliance that Jaws has throughout the picture. Jaws more or less invented the "Summer Blockbuster" by becoming the highest grossing film of all time. There's has yet to be a shark film that even comes close to Jaws. They all suck basically compared to Jaws.

What can be said about Jaws that you don't already know? It's the original "summer" movie. It was the first to raise the roof with screams and then subsequently bring it down with applause. The legacy of Jaws isn't just that of a great summer movie, but of a great movie period.

The popcorn flick formula, one that has been imitated for decades, was begun with this malfunctioning mechanical shark. However, unlike most of its successors, Jaws filled the pit of your stomach with more than just popcorn; you got a nice helping of fear as well. For many, even after thirty years, it's still the ultimate event movie.

While it was Hitchcock who was first dubbed the "master of suspense," and it was Coppola whose Godfather first shattered records, no film up until Jaws' release in the summer of 1975 had so successfully combined movie-making, mass-audience appeal, and box-office magic. A perfect movie -- a cinematic machine that is a miracle of craftsmanship.

In addition to bringing a fear of the water into public consciousness, it also catapulted twenty-eight year-old director, Steven Spielberg, into super-stardom. While Spielberg's earlier independent, film, and television work was impressive, it was Jaws that made him a big name.

It wasn't only Spielberg's contribution that made Jaws what it is, it was the efforts of several people, all hoping against hope that they could turn what was becoming a disaster-ridden film into something worthwhile. From the film's major screenwriter Carl Gottlieb to the ad-libs of the actors to John Williams' perfect score. Somehow everything came together to produce a movie that was greater than the sum of its parts.

Perhaps the first thing that went right, other than the decision to give Spielberg the job, was the casting. The three principle actors all gave career-defining performances. Roy Scheider (playing everyman Police Chief Martin Brody) has just the right amount of heroism and cowardice for the audience to identify with.On the opposite end of the spectrum you've got Robert Shaw (as sea-hardened Quint) captaining the Orca and giving the movie a character that'll drag viewers towards the shark when all they want to do is turn back. Finally there's the bearded Richard Dreyfuss (scientist Matt Hooper) who is the brains to Quint's brawn, the reason to his madness.

The idea was simple, the execution was anything but. Despite the difficulties surrounding the production, intentionally or accidentally -- but probably both -- Spielberg and company hit exactly the right beats and pushed exactly the right buttons. The result is Jaws, a movie that, to this day, is still making people scared to go in the water. Da-dummm...

*****/*****

Based on three of Frank Miller's Sin City graphic novels, Robert Rodriguez has co-directed the film with Miller himself to create the most loyal comic adaptation ever seen on screen. The film opens with the first portion of the story, That Yellow Bastard, which stars Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba and Nick Stahl. Willis is a detective named Hardigan tracking down a pervert who has kidnapped a little girl named Nancy (Alba plays the older Nancy).

One of the things I was really looking forward to was Powers Boothe and Michael Madsen. Two of my favorite actors, and I haven't seen them in role that fit them for a while. And I was not disappointed. Boothe owned the role of the slimy Governor Rourk. He fits the role. He gives a real darkness to the character. As for Madsen, he IS his role as Willis's "partner" Bob. He also gives a mysterious part to the role I can't quite put my finger on. But it's there.

He rescues her from the deranged son of Sin City's senator, Roark, Jr. (Nick Stahl). The story continues at the end with Nancy all grown up and sexy and the senator's son a little more yellow. The second story is The Hard Goodbye and follows the adventures of Marv, appropriately played by Mickey Rourke. Marv is a tough street fighter who's just had the night of his life with a beautiful woman named Goldie (Jaime King). He wakes up the next day to find her lying dead next to him. Marv unleashes a brutal quest for revenge, killing or reassembling anyone who gets in his way. Co-starring is Elijah Wood, Rutger Hauer and Powers Boothe.

Finally, The Big Fat Kill stars Clive Owen as Dwight, a P.I. trying to keep things clean in a dirty city. The cops are corrupt and have a deal with the hookers who live in Old Town – basically don't cause trouble and we'll turn a blind eye to what you do. When a cop winds up dead at the hands of the ladies of the night, the "something" is about to hit the fan. Co-starring are Rosario Dawson, Benicio Del Toro, Brittany Murphy and Michael Clarke Duncan. That's about as much info as I can give about these stories without spoiling the fun.

I absolutely love how the film opens. That one scene and all it's brilliant dialog more or less spells out what is yet to come. The film is 18A for a reason. It is incredibly brutal. For example, I'd never once thought I'd describe killings in a movie being more than one castration. You can expect blood to fly, heads to roll, limbs to be severed and pretty much everything else you can expect.

Mickey Rourke gives a brilliant performance as Marv. His whole scene I felt uncomfortable. It was an incredibly brutal scene, that involves an equally creepy Elijah Wood. I'll get to that later. Throughout the scene you can really understand why Marv is seeking revenge for his one night stand. He really was in love. He never had that before. Rourke really hit the nail on the head with this one. Elijah Wood gives his best performance ever, which is a non-speaking role, as the cannibalistic Kevin. A deeply disturbed man.

Bruce Willis gives yet another great performance. But who steals the show in the Willis saga is Jessica Alba just because, well you know. She's too sexy. But anywho. The reason why the movie is the greatest comic book movie ever made is because it looks and acts exactly like the comic book. The characters look and act exactly the way they were in the books. I imagine if you look at the comics and watched the movie, I wouldn't know the difference. It's just as brutal as the books, and it's brilliant use of colors and lack there of is even better.

I don't care what anyone says, this IS the best comic book movie ever. I respect their opinions of course, but it'll be difficult to find one that has the look and feel of the actually comic. That's what a comic book movie is supposed to be. And Sin City is all that, and so much more. Any fan of the comic, as I am, will NOT be disappointed. And it'll make fans out of it. As with many of my friends. This movie is a movie I will not soon forget.

*****/*****

Imagine Midnight Express, only with chicks. That pretty much sums up the premise of Brokedown Palace. The story revolves around two girls who have been best friends their entire lives. Alice (Claire Danes) is kind of a troublemaker and Darlene (Kate Beckinsale) is more of the naïve, goody goody type. Right after graduating from High School they decide they need to cut loose, so they go to exotic Thailand (of all places).

There they meet a mysterious Australian. Both girls fall for the guy and Darlene talks Alice into flying to Hong Kong to meet him. But vacation plans can really change when Customs finds two kilos in your backpack. Now sentenced to over 30 years in a Thai prison, they must rely on a shady American lawyer (Bill Pullman) to prove their innocence. But, in Thailand, being innocent may not be enough.

To be honest, I didn't think I was going to like this movie. I mean, yeah, the idea of two girls in a Thai prison sounds intriguing, but I was pretty sure it wasn't that kind of movie. It does start out slow, but once they get busted the movie really holds your attention. These two young American girls are in a totally messed up situation and there?s nothing they can do about it. As a viewer, I could actually feel their frustration. There are also a few exciting, edge of your seat scenes. I don?t want to give too much away, but let me just say that trying to escape can be punishable by death.

The only complaint I have is that they made the prison too nice. I wouldn't want to spend my vacation there, but compared to other film prisons, this one?s pretty tame. One of the highlights of Brokedown Palace is the acting. Claire Danes and Bill Pullman are excellent and Lou Diamond Phillips (it?s good to see him working again) is great as a slimy DEA agent. Overall, with great acting and a compelling storyline, Brokedown Palace definitely deserves at least one viewing.

***/*****

On the surface, Tim is a seemingly normal, twenty-something guy. He's got a decent job and is moving fast in his relationship with his girlfriend Jessica. But an intense, paralyzing fear that has been terrifying him since childhood is tearing him apart. And it's getting worse every day. When Tim was eight, something devastating happened. Each night his dad would put him to sleep with a bedtime story.

Tim and his father made sure his bedroom was safe when the lights finally went out. Until that one fateful night. As Tim watched from his bed, paralyzed with fear, his father was violently sucked into the closet, and was never seen or heard from again. Tim is terrified that the Boogeyman will someday return and take him as he has taken so many before.

Until now he has coped by eliminating opportunities for the Boogeyman to get to him. He has removed every dark corner in his apartment; there are no closets, and his bed is on the floor so the evil force has nowhere to hide. The thought of getting a jacket out of a closet sends him spiraling into terror. When Tim is forced to move outside his comfort zone on a Thanksgiving trip to Jessica's parents, he leaves this protected world and things begin to fall apart.

After a disturbing dream about his estranged mother, Tim awakens in a cold sweat, hunched over on the floor of the guest room. Jessica tries to comfort him, but it only makes things worse. His cell phone rings. His mother has died. Forced to return to his childhood home, a looming and run-down Victorian Gothic house in the countryside, Tim must tie up family matters with his Uncle Mike and face the source of all his fears. After the funeral, Tim visits the children's psychiatric hospital where he spent many years after the disappearance of his father.

His former counselor reiterates what she has known all along - that in order to get over his fears, he must spend a night alone in the old house and confront things head on. Tim tries to relax and enjoy a reunion with his childhood best friend, Kate (Emily Deschanel) and for a brief moment feels everything is under control. But as Tim relives the past, drifting through the dark and empty house and rummaging through old photographs, memories take over and his crippling fear returns. He is sure he is being watched by the same evil being that has terrorized him his entire life.

Tim becomes irrational and delusional to everyone around him, but no one can save him; or themselves. His loved ones start disappearing around him and his life is shattered all over again. He knows that the only way to stop the nightmare is to confront the evil presence once and for all. Tim turns to the only other person who understands and shares his fear, Franny, a precocious and mysterious young girl who first appeared at his mother's funeral.

It turns out that Tim and the little girl have something in common. She is the only one who sees what he sees......and Tim draws on Franny's courage and advice to face the Boogeyman once and for all. But when he discovers that Franny was abducted years ago and has been missing ever since, he realizes that the line separating what is real and what is not has vanished. Now Tim must fight to put the evil force and the demons to rest in a final battle to save his life. But how can he know what is real and what is imagined?

The problem with so many Hollywood films nowadays is that scary movies are no longer made to be scary. Their made to make money. As was the case with last years laughably bad "The Grudge". The film had problems, but it's greatest problem in my opinion was that it had far too many "jumping" scenes. Like for example, a black cat jumps out from underneath then you discover it's only a black. I mean, if I saw an Asian kid meowing at me in my room I'd shyte myself. All of the "scary" parts in the film are just things that happen, just really loudly. And the parts that are supposed to scare do not scare.

Hollywood is taking advantage of loudness. Of course people are going to jump when something ordinary, or out of the ordinary happens. Just with a lot more volume. Like a crow hitting a wind shield. "Boogeyman" just has so many times when your supposed to jump, it gets to the point of being ridiculous, laughable and funny rather than terrifying. Whatever happened to good old fashion scares, with the likes of "The Exorcist" or "The Omen". We didn't need to be scared by jumping, we need to be scared by being down right disturbed. 2004's "Saw" pulled that off better than any film in the past 10 years. "Boogeyman" is not an improvement over "The Grudge". But rather, it's much worse. At least "The Grudge" was semi scary and disturbing. Some parts were a little strange.

But Boogeyman offers nothing that we haven't seen before. The film is downright boring. What this film doesn't have is any bit of the originality that make Sam Raimi's work so original. Raimi has said in interviews that he doesn't like to interfere with directors on the films he produces, but Boogeyman is another clear case where Raimi's touch could have only helped bland direction.It's not that Kay is a poor director. The film is confident and slick. It's well put together and looks good. The music is pretty creepy at times, stirring some relatively cheep scares all on its own. On the flip side, Boogeyman is totally vacant and generic which is what makes it bad.

*/*****

P.S. I could have sworn this movie was about Micheal Jackson

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS***

The movie follows three wounded but intelligent orphans who lost their parents in a fire and are forced to ricochet from home to home as their dastardly distant relative Count Olaf schemes to make their lives miserable and steal their inheritance. The story is composed of three books in the series by Daniel Handler, whose pen name is Lemony Snicket.

An ingenious opening animated sequence rushes the audience through a sick-sweet forest of happy little elves, then Jude Law's narration as Snicket kicks in, warning the audience that if they want to see a happy movie they're in the wrong theater. Then he introduces us to the sad orphans: Violet, the eldest, who improvises inventions; Klaus a bookwormish know-it-all; and baby Sunny, who . . . bites things. Hard.

Even though the trio is weak, small and callow, the children work so well as a team you wouldn't want to mess with them. Tell that to Olaf, the first guardian of the kids, who turns them into servants in his rancid mansion while he schemes to have them killed to get his hands on their inheritance.

Olaf, a bundle of sneers, exaggerated facial contortion and gleeful evil, is the type of ham sandwich Carrey loves to chomp and smack. His insidiously comic battles with the orphans provide the movie's greatest joys. Olaf dons a variety of disguises to stalk the kids once they escape to the care of the eccentric, oblivious Uncle Monty and Aunt Josephine. The movie is empowering to kids because of its depiction of comically stoogish adults, who are no match for the heroic, resourceful young'uns.

My expectations of this film were simply another Harry Potter type movie. And during the film's opening credits, I was "very concerned" that I entered the wrong. Thankfully, due to Lemony Snicket's following narration, stating that if you want a nice kiddie flick, your in the wrong theater. Then things got better. The film is very dark and is perfect anyone of any age.

Jim Carrey is effective as the evil Uncle Olaf. The children in the flick are equally great as well as Meryl Streep. The film is a very dark, moody, weird ride. And an entertaining one at that. I was pleasantly surprised by it, and is better than those Harry Potter films. It's nothing that'll blow you away by any means. But it's a very good film, better than I expected.

***/*****

Set around 1250 B.P., King Agamemnon of Mycenae is conquering yet another land. While their armies are massed for battle, he offers to settle the fight with a duel between their best warrior and his. They send out a giant soldier; the Greeks summon Achilles and being the Greatest Warrior of All, he triumphs with a single strike of his sword. Although he serves Agamemnon, Achilles is openly in contempt of his king and is reluctant to put him and his men in service to the King's expansionist goals.

At the celebration, we meet the Spartan leader Menelaus whose wife Helen has been carrying on a brief affair with Paris for no legitimate reason other than he's freaking Orlando Bloom and her husband isn't. When Paris beseeches her to come back to Troy with him, she agrees, but Paris's brother Hector is less than pleased when he finds out what has happened on the trip back.

Understandably peeved, Menelaus asks Agamemnon to go to war against the impenetrable fortress city-state that is Troy to get his woman back. Agamemnon agrees because if he conquers Troy, he'll have control of all the useful world, so in this case, Helen is the excuse for war, not the reason.

Assembling the legendary fleet of a thousand ships in what appears to be a few days the Greeks sail for Troy. In a Bronze Age version of Saving Private Ryan the Greeks get their butts rightly whooped on the beach until Achilles and his band of brothers are able to storm the beach and defile the Temple of Apollo, where Achilles captures and then woos Briseis a cousin of Hector and Paris who'd joined the order of virgins in service to Apollo.

It's decided that Menelaus and Paris should battle to settle who gets the girl. Paris proves he is no match and he's about to be cut down when Hector steps up, killing Menelaus and guaranteeing there's not going to be peace anytime soon.

Everybody was ragging on Troy for not being true to Homer's The Illiad. Well, that is always important to be true to the story, but I'm not too familiar with the story, so I don't care. The film is very entertaining. Pitt is surprisingly amazing as the great warrior. Bana is equally talented playing Hector. The acting in the film all around is top notch. The film is very underrated and to me, the best film of the year. It was so much more than I expected, thanks to the negative reviews. One of my favorite movies.

****/*****

Jake Vig, a charming presence even in the worst of times, makes a perfectly beguiling grifter; as Jake Vig he displays both the smarts to spot big money and the ruthlessness to go after it. Early on in Confidence, he sets his sights on a big target -- The King, a pint-sized crime boss with an eye for strippers and a bad case of ADD. In other hands, the King might have just been a collection of quirks, but Hoffman has the effortless ability to make him both fascinating and complete. Together, he and Burns form a strong pair of tentpoles under which Confidence can develop its complicated scheme.

Naturally, it's not as simple as Vig picking the King out of a crowd. He and his crew unknowingly fleece an important underling, stealing a substantial chunk of the King's money. Before they realize their error, one of their number has a bullet in his head and the rest are ready to cut and run, leaving Vig to do some fast thinking. So he approaches the King directly, offering to pay back the funds by pulling an even bigger scam on the crime lord's hated rival. Unfortunately, the plan requires an additional player, and Vig settles on a pickpocket femme fatale named Lily who may not have the group's best interests at heart. He also neglects to mention the federal marshal on his trail, who could land the entire lot of them in prison.

Like he did in Glengarry Glen Ross, Foley demonstrates considerable skill working with an ensemble, aptly balancing the characters with the needs of the story. As a technical exercise Confidence is well-tuned, and the 98 minute running time feels just about right. The script brims with terrific dialogue, which the cast takes great relish in delivering, and the uniformly excellent performances never become forced or mannered .Dustin Hoffman gives a fresh and original performance that should have landed him at the very least an Oscar nomination. Like the length of the film is just about perfect. It's incredibly fast paced. This one movie that has re-watch-ability written all over it and an excellent flick that should not be missed.

****/*****

****MAJOR SPOILERS WARNING****

A young man named Adam wakes to find himself chained to a rusty pipe inside a decrepit subterranean chamber. Chained to the opposite side of the room is another bewildered captive, Dr. Lawrence Gordon Between them is a dead man lying in a pool of blood, holding a .38 in his hand. Neither man knows why he has been abducted; but instructions left on a micro cassette order Dr. Gordon to kill Adam within eight hours. If he fails to do so, then both men will die, and Dr. Gordon's wife, Alison, and his daughter will be killed.

Recalling a recent murder investigation by a police detective named Tapp, Dr. Gordon realizes he and Adam are the next victims of a psychopathic genius known only as "Jigsaw." With only a few hours left to spare, they must unravel the elaborate puzzle of their fate in the midst of mounting terror. The killer has provided them with only a few clues and two handsaws - too weak to break their steel shackles, but strong enough to cut through flesh and bone.

Lawrence realizes that the person responsible for putting himself and Adam in this room is an all too familiar person. He was a suspect in a series of murders that were committed by a killer known only as, the jigsaw killer. A police detective named Detective David Tapp and his partner Detective Steven Sing are committed to bring Lawrence Gordon, whom they believe to be the killer. Now Lawrence is a victim in a crime that he himself was accused of. He was not found guilty, that's not to say he is innocent.

The two police detectives peruse the killer to where they believe to be his place of business. They find one of his victims who are tied to a chair with a drill bit on both sides of his head slowly moving towards his head. The victim's name is Jeff. Soon, he will be dead if the two detectives do not act soon enough. Sing shoots off the two drills and the killer arrives, and they think they have him. But the killer brings out a knife and slashes Tapp's throat and Sing chases the killer.

Sing corners the killer and fires at him. He thinks the killer is dead. But Sing triggers a trip wire, which is tied to several shotguns, which fire at Sing killing him. Tapp is not dead, and finds Sing dead, and the killer is nowhere to be found. Tapp survives the attack only to be fired from the police force, becomes insane on his quest to bring the man responsible for his partner's death. His aim towards the killer has become much more personal.

The killer makes his way into Lawrence's house and keeps his family hostage. The supposed "killer" is one of Lawrence co worker's named Zep Hindle. Hindle threatens to kill his family. Lawrence knows who he is because of a photograph taken from a window onto his apartment. Here is where the film really takes off. Lawrence gives Adam his wallet to look at a picture of his family. Adam see's a picture of Lawrence's daughter. "She's beautiful" he states. Lawrence tells him to look at the picture behind, the one with all of them on it. But there's nothing but a picture with his wife and child tied together gagged.

The film's finally scene begins with Cary Elwes completely losing it. After a while Adam finally shows Lawrence he picture of his family tied to a bed. Thinking his family is in danger, then he takes one of the saws that were in the package Adam found, and saws his right foot off. This scene is very brutal, graphic and disturbing. He then grabs the gun that the supposed "dead guy" has near his hand, and shoots Adam. But only in the shoulder, wounding, but not killing Adam. Lawrence does this because he wants to be sure his family is indeed alive.

Zep Hindle, one of the nurses for Dr. Lawrence Gordon is the supposed "killer" and enters the bathroom where Adam and Lawrence are chained and Lawrence demands to see his family because he believes he has completed the killers "game". But he is too late, and Zep Hindle raises his gun, as if to kill Lawrence. Adam grabs Zep Hindle from behind and grabs a piece of the toilet seat and bashes Hindle's head in until he is dead. This is also a very brutal scene.

Lawrence than leaves the room to find help for himself and Adam. Adam then searched the body of Hindle to find the keys for his chains. He doesn't find a key, but rather a tap recording similar to that of the one that he found on the dead body in the room to play his and Lawrence's tape. A tape is in the player and Adam listens to it. Adam now learns that Hindle was also a part of the game. He was set up by the real jigsaw killer to convince Lawrence to kill Adam, saw his foot off, (which was the only way they'd leave) and within a certain amount of time.

The challenge to Hindle was that if he does convince Lawrence to kill Adam, he would have to kill Lawrence's wife and child to keep his own life. He must kill two people to keep his own life. Or he would die himself. Another possible challenge is that if Hindle did not convince Lawrence to kill Adam, he would die. All of the killer's victim's either don't value their life, or have committed a crime, or have cause anger, or just are not a good person. He challenges them to game. He wants to know how much do they value their life. Enough to kill another?

But anyways, after listening to tape, Adam is in shock. Now comes the REAL shocker of the flick, and the single greatest movie ending, or twist rather, ever. The dead body in the middle of the room rises and removes a semi-mask, the gunshot wound. The dead body has been the killer all along. He tells Adam that the key to unlock his chains is in the bathtub. Adam remembers waking up, and something falling in the drain of the bathtub. It was the key. The killer leaves the room, and leaves Adam to die in the room alone. And that is where the greatest movie of all time, SAW, ends.

Prepare yourself for a gut-wrenching trip into the heart of terror with SAW. Gritty, terrifying and gruesome, SAW is a taut, squirm-inducing film packed with moments of indelible horror. Director James Wan expertly spins this intricate tale, creating a chilling landscape of dread where nothing is quite as it seems. An edge-of-your-seat ride bristling with emotional intensity, SAW will keep you guessing until the very end. Keep the lights on, you won't sleep easily tonight.

I'm not going to beat around the bush. Saw is the single greatest thriller I have ever seen. Saw is simply everything a thriller should be. The thrills are not based on relentless blood spurts; these are wink-at-the-audience scares of modern day horror. There's no villain spouting cheesy catch phrases. These are legitimate scares brought on by a story, which cleverly draws you into the twisted world of Jigsaw.

The situations he puts his victims in are scary in themselves with some of the most disturbing scenes in cinema history. Saw throws many many many thrills at you for good measure. As soon as you think you have the figured out, it throws another twist and thrill at you that WILL keep you guessing until the very end, with it's shocking and utterly brilliant conclusion.

Take whatever expectations you had of this film, and throw them out the window. Weather they were good or bad, this film will shock and amaze you. It is not what you will expect. Even if it's good, or if it's bad, you'll be surprised. There is not one single moment in this movie where you will not be saying to your self, "What the hell is going now", "Did that just happen?' "Whoa!". You will loose yourself in the insane amount of twist and scares in this movie.

You just can't help but wonder, who could think of something like this? Saw is best viewed when you know little or nothing about it going into the theater. The less you know, the more shocked you'll be. That's not to say that knowing anything about it will ruin it. Far from it. The film is extremely original and a taut and sense movie. The acting from the three main leads is excellent. Why is it independent low budget films seem to almost always be better than Hollywood pictures?

Saw accomplishes the kind of gritty, edge of the seat thriller that the studios rarely accomplish with budgets 20 times larger and months of shooting. It gives so called "scary" Hollywood horror flicks like "The Ring" and "The Grudge" a total run for their money. It shows you how to make a horror flick. Saw is more than just an impressive accomplishment for two young filmmakers, it's one of 2004's standout films and the scariest film in years.

*****/****

Bob and Walt Tenor are small-town legends who excel at sports, and who are the proud owners of a fast-food restaurant where their four hands work the grill at lightning speed. When the acting bug bites Walt, he convinces Bob to honor their childhood pact to never hold back the other, and the brothers head west for the bright lights of Hollywood.

Bob and Walt make fast friends with their sexy neighbor, who helps Walt land a grizzled agent whose idea of a prime gig for Walt is a porn film. Things finally begin to look up for Walt when the boys encounter legendary diva and Academy Award winning actress Cher. Looking to sabotage her new television series, of which she wants no part, Cher casts Walt as her co-star.

Instead of dooming the show, Walt propels it to the top of the ratings, and the brothers became instant celebrities. But their real adventure is only beginning, as Bob finds romance with a longtime cyber-pal, and the brothers make a decision that will forever change their lives. Whatever happens to the boys, one thing is certain: nothing will ever come between them.

For some reason I seem to love buddy movies. So of course I wanted to see Stuck On You. Also because it's a Farrelly Brothers movie, you can expect many laughs. And trust me, there are many laughs in this movie. The two leads, Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear are excellent as the two brothers. Both have some hilarious one liners. Mostly Kinnear.

Damon plays a more down to earth character while Kinnear plays the outrageous burger flipper turned actor. He gives the best performance in the film in my opinion. Cher gives a rather unconvincing, yet very funny performance as, well, herself. Eva Mendes plays the "blonde" type character in the movie. Giving dumb, hilarious and sometimes dimwitted comments.

The film has many funny moments. Stuck On You wasn't a surprise since I always love these buddy type flicks. Starksy & Hutch, Stuck On You, Dumb And Dumber, Tango and Cash. All these movies are great. This is my favorite Farrelly movie so far. They always seem to able to bring big laughs to the screen and sometimes keep things serious.

***/*****

**SPOILERS WARNING**

On Friday, Shaun is in a rut. At 29, he's coasted through life--and still hasn't gotten very far, usually winding up at the local pub, the Winchester. His roommate Ed looks up to him--when he can take his eyes off the TV, that is. Liz is re-evaluating their relationship, particularly after Shaun fails to do something special for their anniversary on Saturday. Living with a roommate named Pete that is a little more demanding than Ed's liking.

That day, there are train delays, people fainting in the streets, TV news reporters on unexplained calamities. It would that everyone single citizen in London are suffering from a hangover. While Shaun goes into his usual early morning routine, he doesn't even notice that the city is pretty much in a post-apocalypse state. When Ed finds a woman in their backyard, they examine the person only find that she is drunk.

Or so it appears. When the woman is impaled with a pipe, and survives, both Ed and Shaun begin to wonder just what the f*ck is going on. Yet another "drunk" citizen arrives, and now it's clear something isn't right. Can it be? No, it can't be. But it is--the dead have risen! Saturday's isolated incidents mushroom into a full-on zombie assault and, once daylight breaks, it's Sunday bloody Sunday.

As manners and flesh take a beating, it's time to separate men from meat, humans from zombies, and living from undead. Shaun and Ed grab whatever is at hand to repel the attacking zombies, a cricket paddle and a shovel. Now summoning reserves of strength they didn't know they possessed and straining muscles they forgot they had. Now it's time to start rounding up friends and family.

Shaun ventures to his ex-girlfriend, Liz's house. Along with her roommates, the ever so pricky David and his girlfriend Diane. Making their way through the streets of London, the crew make towards Shaun's mothers, Barbara, place. His mother is fine, but his step dad, Phillip, has been bitten and is pretty much already dead. Still, they bring both and all together must fight off armies of zombies.

Shaun comes up with a plan to bring the rest of the living to his favorite local spot, The Winchester. A local bar and both Ed's and Shaun's favorite hideout. Now it has become a sanctuary that may save the survivors. Holding the zombies off with nothing but a rifle and a few nitnacks, there's not much hope.

After all, all that stands in their way are a hundred hordes of the flesh eating undead that have straight from the fiery pits of hell craving the flesh of the living and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Like that'll stop them a drunk, a loser, and a couple regular old' citizens.... right?

The tagline for the film is "A romantic comedy. With zombies." That seems to pretty much spell out this film. It's the best film I've seen in theaters all year. The movie is a riot. Apart from Bad Santa, it's the funniest movie I've ever seen. And I wouldn't even call it a comedy. I don't know what to call it.

The movie is also the bloodiest, most goriest zombie flick I've seen since "Day of the Dead". Which is my favorite zombie flick. Well, next to Shaun of the Dead of course. There is one particular scene when a character is literally torn to pieces. And my mouth was literally wide open. I was in disbelief at what I was seeing. Myself, and a friend caught an advanced screening of Shaun of the Dead and we both loved it.

This is best movie I've all year. A pleasant surprise that it didn't suck. It at first appears to a spoof, but it is definitely not. It works as a zombie movie, a comedy, and a romantic comedy. To me it's basically Love Actually meets Dawn of the Dead meets Dumb and Dumber. It's a perfect blend of horror and comedy. A good portion of scenes made me jump. Some horror movies don't manage to do that.

I am a huge fan of zombie movies, this one takes the cake. I loved the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Awesome suspense, even some scary parts. But this just rules over any other zombie movie. The original Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombi, Day of the Dead, they are all classics. And I know that Shaun of the Dead will soon become as popularly and as respected as those.

I feel lucky that my teacher, yes a teacher, gave me two tickets to an advance screening to see this movie, because it doesn't looks like it's going to be put into very many theaters. And I don't think it'll do too well at the box office. Being a huge movie fanatic, this was a rare treat to see an advance screening. This was my first, and even better. The movie rules. This is now of the all time favorite movies.

I thought that zombie movies were dead. Boy was I wrong. Dawn of the Dead, Resident Evil, 28 Days Later (which I did not enjoy), and now Shaun of the Dead. These movies are just as alive as they were back in the days of The Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead. I can't wait till the next zombie movie arrives. Hopefully a remake of Day of the Dead is in order. Or another George Romero gorefest.

Either way, it just goes to show that zombie flicks are anything but dead. I've never met a zombie I didn't like. By that I mean zombie movies seem to always rule. Return of the Living Dead was quite entertaining. Not too bloody though. The remake of Night of the Living Dead was another excellent zombie flick. However, the Return of the Living Dead sequels aren't as good as the original or any other zombie movie for that matter.

I certainly didn't expect this to suck, it just was a whole lot better than I could have imagined. It was incredibly gory, bloody, so much swearing, (When English people swear it's funny), hilarious zombie movie with a lot of heart and soul. You don't need to be a fan of zombie flicks to enjoy this movie.

****/****