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jason_duron
Reviews
Tony (2009)
English answer to Henry; Portrait of a Serial Killer
In Tony, the title character (played very convincingly by Peter Ferdinando) is a soft-spoken, middle-aged nerd who enjoys old action movies. He's severely withdrawn from the world, unable to speak or relate to others, and has never worked a job in his life. One other important fact about Tony is his penchant for murder. In fact, Tony murders on a regular basis, whether it's druggies, men he picks up at gay bars, etc. At a mere 75 minutes, Tony never strives to be complex or hard to follow, but instead a simple portrayal of a simple killer who inability to connect with the world causes him to outburst so easily on those who confuse or anger him. When a young boy goes missing in town, the father immediately assumes it's Tony's doing and we watch as everything in Tony's life comes dangerously close to unfolding. Like I said, the film is simple yet sophisticated enough to be enjoyed mostly by the smarter movie watcher. Those looking for quick release won't get it here at all, despite the film's overly short runtime. A lot have compared it to the English answer to American classic Henry; Portrait of a Serial Killer and I couldn't agree more. It's dark, gritty, and covered in gloom, yet you somehow feel for this monstrous character. Overall, Tony is an excellent watch, one of the better "horror" films I've seen this year. Good film.
Shudder (2007)
Ghosts and a Texas Chainsaw Massacre Reuinion
In Shudder, we focus on a dysfunctional family out on a farm with past secrets both in and out of their control that result in the haunting of their house, their lives, and even their psyche. As mother Tricia Cast tries to get a grip on the reality around her, she loses touch and finds herself viciously assaulting her daughter and spending time at a local psychiatric ward where she gets shock treatment. This is all while brothers Gunnar Hansen and Edwin Neal look on, but not without experiencing their own ghostly visions of things to come. Intermittently spliced throughout the film are flashbacks of the past when soldiers happen upon ancestors of the family with natives (one of which is the lovely Tiffany Shepis who DOES get a little naked in this...yay) who the family takes in and uses alongside their black slaves. As we come to learn, Edwin Neal's ancestor from the past gets a little too violent (and deadly) with the slaves, leading to many of the future family's problems. Genre icons Jim O'Rear and John Dugan show up as American soldiers. With the inclusion of Dugan, Hansen, and Neal, Shudder winds up being a bona-fide Texas Chainsaw Massacre reunion which delighted me a bit, especially when seeing all three of these characters on screen together. Total nerd out on my part. The film is fairly lo-budget of course, but it packs a surprisingly nice punch, especially coming from debut writer/director Ben Dixon, whose one of the nicest guys around to boot. Definitely a surprise chiller ghost story that I enjoyed watching, especially for it's great cast.
Texas Frightmare Massacre (2010)
Whimsical Dark Comedy, Bewbs, and a Horse Head Killer = Food for the Soul
The Texas Frightmare Massacre is an ingenious mixture of slasher horror, fart & wiener joke comedy set to the backdrop of a genuine and popular horror convention (the MOST popular, I'd venture to say) in the United States. While one story of TFM concerns two idiot friends (director Joe Francis and Chad Pallett) becoming security guards and training for their first gig doing security at the infamous convention, the main story has nerdy guy Allen Reed heading out to TFM with his rude step sister (the incredibly nude and hot Melanie Smith) and her boyfriend Dave Ayers. The couple, Reed's hero Parrish Randall (playing a hilarious version of himself), and others take Reed to a Carrie-esquire breaking point that has him donning a head horse mask and going on a killing spree throughout the hotel. As the bodies pile up, security loafs Francis and Pallett wonder about aimlessly. Writer/Director Joe Francis has two sure-win elements to this film: 1.) the incorporation of an actual convention in progress just melts my horror loving heart to a happy goo, and 2.) the presence of consistently naked Melanie Smith, whose seriously naked a lot...and getting boned a lot...and seriously looking hot as hell....seriously. I had the great opportunity of meeting some of these folks, all of whom are nice as hell and who really understand what it's like to be a horror nerd. Texas Frightmare Massacre may look like a bad internet video to the untrained eye and about 90% of the mass moronic movie-going audience, but the folks behind this threw caution to the wind and made a small movie that would appeal to a very small group of hardcore fans. The end result...I loved it! Rarely do I ever mutter these blasphemous words, but I hope there's a sequel.
Black Devil Doll (2007)
Black Devil Doll = Hilarious Hot Mess
On the night of murderous black militant Mubia Abul-Jama's execution, ditsy chunky (but decently hot) chick Heather Murphy resurrects Abul-Jama's soul via her Ouija board which transports into a nearby ventriloquist doll. It doesn't take long before jive-talking, badly stereotyped Black Devil Doll whips his Black Devil Dick out and proceeds to tap that Heather booty several times over before he convinces her to call all of her hot, slutty, cracker friends over so he can get further satisfaction. Sure enough, her hot, slutty, cracker friends (Christine Svendsen, Erika Branich, Precious Cox, and Natasha Talonz) come over and engage in ALL kinds of dirty, sexual shenanigans and tomfoolery that has BDD getting all kinds of horny. When Heather leaves, the rape and murder fest beings as BDD systematically kills and rapes (or rapes and kills) each women, while Heather's out eating a bunch of big macs. Black Devil Doll has only one goal in mind, which is to offend and titillate everyone and anyone who watches this. This film is so over-the-top racist and sexist that it's bound to upset anyone who offends easily and is completely dumbass enough to watch this movie. As a fan of offensive material, I could not get enough of this movie. I laughed almost the whole way through it. Let's not forget the 5 beautiful women (especially Branich, Cox and Talonz) who are pretty much consistently naked throughout the entire movie. Talonz sex scene with BDD easily rivals the marionette sex scene of Team American in its over-the-top, almost hardcore (almost) pornographic intentions. Black Devil Doll is what independent cinema wet dreams are made of. I absolutely loved this hot mess!