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3/10
Not Much Here
28 November 2010
The thing that is difficult for most straight people to understand is not gay sex, but gay romance. I had hoped to learn something from this movie, since I knew my feelings were culturally biased and unfair.

All this movie did was reinforce the stereotypes that straight people already believe. The plot and the dialog were uninspired, the acting was wooden, and the characters were completely unsympathetic. I have never had a very high opinion of the acting skills of Julianne Moore or Mark Ruffalo, but Annette Bening is one of our finer actresses. She stinks along with everyone else. Even the kids are dull.

I will have to find another source to gain some insight into gay committed relationships/marriage.
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Nine (2009)
3/10
How About a Minus Nine
12 May 2010
How does this much acting talent end up in such a rotten movie? How is it possible that the appearance of so many beautiful women couldn't even save it? How could the same man who directed "Chicago" be responsible for this mindless crap? "Chicago" was just about the most fun I have ever had in a movie. Memorable songs, award worthy acting, and perfectly edited. Nine was totally disconnected, meandering all over the place, and with no sympathetic characters, with the possible exception of Guido's wife. I gave it a three only because I have a sentimental fondness for Sophia Loren, it truly was a minus nine. The entire Italian nation should be offended.
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10/10
Brilliant
8 September 2009
This is why we go to the movies. This film is a once-in-ten-year phenomenon. Nothing that happens in this movie can be anticipated and, as a result, is non-stop entertainment. Many of the actors are European born (Germany, France, Spain) and their ability to move easily between languages is extraordinary. Brad Pitt's character's clumsy attempt to speak Italian shows how language ignorant Americans are. History is completely rewritten in a most entertaining and satisfying way. The violence is extreme (typical Tarantino) and not for everyone, but it is about violent people in a violent time. This movie deserves awards all around. Picture, actors, director.
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The Happening (2008)
1/10
Shyamalan needs to stop!
10 November 2008
Warning: Spoilers
M. Night Shyamalan needs to stop. NOW! Every movie he makes is worse than the previous one. "The Sixth Sense" was classic and is in my, and many movie lover's, top twenty. "Unbreakable" was good, not as good, but entertaining and interesting and with a good surprise at the end. "Signs" was OK, at best. "The Village" was overlong and incredibly boring and I had the ending figured out after fifteen minutes. "Lady In The Water" was so bad that I never finished watching it, and wanted the hour of my life back that I had wasted.

"The Happening" is actually worse, if only because I was forced to watch the entire thing. The premise was interesting, plants are getting even with the humans that are destroying the planet, but the script, the acting, the direction, and the characters are so bad that I rooted for the plants. This film was not worth the dollar I paid to rent it!
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9/10
Easy To Like Difficult To Understand
30 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This movie will grab your attention immediately and will keep you, not only interested, but on the edge of your seat for the entire movie. It is a true action-thriller. It has a villain so incredibly evil that you are never able to look away. He has an internal honor code that he adheres to, but with no moral or ethical basis. The characters Llewelyn (Josh Brolin), Carson (Woody Harrelson), and a corporate executive with ties to drugs (Steven Root), who believe that they are capable of challenging him, find out, to their misfortune, that no one is. He kills without hesitation or remorse and even kills a truly innocent person simply because he had promised he would.

But this story is really about Sheriff Bell (Tommy Lee Jones). It begins with him and ends with him. He is an aging west Texas sheriff who has realized that he has lost his edge as an lawman. He is unable, no matter how much he wants or tries, to save anyone. He has the wisdom, but no longer the ability to be effective.

Some people will find the end disappointing or call it a non-ending. It ended perfectly!
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Brick (2005)
1/10
Why?
23 September 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Why does everyone feel they must rave about a movie simply because it was not made by a major studio? This isn't just a movie about teenagers and starring teenagers, it looks as if teenagers wrote, produced, directed, filmed and edited it. Kids with a video camera could have made a film that looked better. There are way too many holes and credibility gaps in the story and far too many unsympathetic characters. They finally show Brendan in some pain, although he probably should have died from his untended to internal injuries a third of the way into the film, and the "profoundly moving" and carefully kept secret revealed at the end was hardly a secret, and not very meaningful. The use of a single key word as a title has become rather annoying, but there is a common street term for excrement used in the movie that would have served just as well.
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Elizabethtown (2005)
3/10
Don't Waste Your Time
11 February 2006
This movie is exactly what many critics said it was. Trite, overlong, boring, meandering, self-indulgent, and nowhere near believable.

There are no likable characters or truly meaningful moments, with the possible exception of Susan Sarandon's on-stage attempt to pay tribute to her late husband and his hometown.

Maybe it's generational, but this movie portrays young adults as the way most of us who are older see them. Self-focused, disconnected from reality, preoccupied with success and possessions, and lacking faith in anything outside of themselves.

Orlando Bloom is an OK actor, but should stick to fantasies and epics. Kirsten Dunst is shallow and she and Bloom lack any kind of chemistry. The supporting cast is simply annoying.

A difficult-to-believe premise, characters you never really care about, and interminable scenes of driving, phone conversations, and feigned anguish.

Would a major airline fly a jet across country with just one passenger?
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Elephant Walk (1954)
7/10
Impressions of a Nine-Year-Old
21 January 2006
My parents took me to this movie when I was nine years old. I have never forgotten it. I had never before seen anything as beautiful as Elizabeth Taylor. (She was twenty-two when she made Elephant Walk) Remember, I'm nine, so the feelings aren't sexual, I just couldn't see anything else on the screen. I just wanted to sit at her feet like a puppy and stare up at her. She has begun to show her age, (She's almost seventy-four) but I still believe her to be one of the most beautiful and breathtaking women to ever have lived.

I have seen the movie several times since, and it is a sappy melodrama. What saves it is, of course, Miss Taylor's beauty, magnificent scenery, the very impressive elephant stampede, and a well-made point on human arrogance in the face of nature.

All in all, a well-spent couple of hours watching the movie channel or a rented video.
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2/10
This Guy Had Followers?
4 July 2005
After meaning to see this film for years, I finally sat through this clunker. So very little of Jesus' life was recorded that speculation on who he might have been is reasonable and fair.

This Jesus, however, goes from being a whiny psychotic to being an "in-your-face" televangelist. Then he is fooled by Satan into wanting the kind of life that every decent, normal human being wants. The kind of life that Christians and everyone are taught is proper and pleasing to God.

I like seeing Jesus portrayed as truly human. Seeing him struggle with doubt and fear as we all must. Having a wife or a girlfriend does not diminish him, it makes him seem more human.

The Jesus in this film, at least as portrayed by Willem Dafoe, repels rather than attracts people.

The most influential person in human history need not always be depicted solely as he is in the New Testament, but this interpretation is poorly thought out and poorly acted.
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1/10
Are You Kidding?
20 March 2005
This is one of those movies where some coke-head writer gets sick, throws-up, looks at the pile of vomit and says, "I think we have an intellectual off-beat comedy here." "Let's get some well-known stars, who certainly should have known better, and see if we can confuse and depress the movie-going public by convincing them that they just don't get it."

Guess what? Most of us do get it! Look at how well this enormous mountain of crap did at the theaters. Thank God that I had a free rental coming at the video store or I would be demanding a refund.

Is it possible that Hollywood is really this contemptuous of movie-goers?
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Troy (2004)
8/10
Genuine Epic
10 March 2005
Warning: Spoilers
I have always loved the Greek myths. I also love the epic movies that deal with Greek, Roman, or biblical history. "Troy" is classic! It is well-acted by Brad Pitt as the self-serving but caring Achilles and by Eric Bana as the noble but ill-fated Hector. (After "The Hulk" I had a really low opinion of Eric Bana's talent, but he is really good in this.) Diane Kruger and Orlando Bloom are good as the two beautiful young lovers whose love and lust destroy thousands of lives and an entire city. Brian Cox and Brendan Gleeson are excellent villains. Peter O'Toole may well be our finest living actor.

"Troy" is well-photographed, well-acted, and thoroughly entertaining.
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9/10
Charming
31 May 2004
This movie has two possible effects. You will be bored or charmed. I was charmed by the simple beauty of watching aged movie stars in their final film roles. Ann Sothern is truly the high point in the movie and still has her "Maisie-like" (the character she made famous in the 30's and 40's) wit and sarcasm. Bette Davis, Lillian Gish and Vincent Price, as well as Ann Sothern, are all veterans of the great "Hollywood Era" and it shows. One can only hope that Dustin Hoffman, Elizabeth Taylor, Meryl Streep and Brad Pitt age as well as these legends. Beautiful scenery and seascapes and a chance to see people who make aging appear elegant. Sadly, all are gone now. Rest peacefully!
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The Hours (2002)
1/10
So much talent wasted!
10 March 2003
This film begins with Virginia Woolf (Nicole Kidman) walking down to a river, filling her pockets with rocks, wading in and drowning. This will be the only lighthearted moment in the film. After that it gets really depressing. It should have been titled "Frustrated, Suicidal Lesbians" but I doubt it would attract an audience. It wallows in misery and self-pity and celebrates suicide and abandonment as legitimate solutions. It also suggests that true genius can only come from neuroses.

It is an unbelievable misuse of acting talent. "The Hours" is how much of your life you will waste watching it.
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