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If you can find the MST3K version, you're in for a treat
16 April 2003
Blah, blah, blah - everyone's a critic these days. Admittedly, this film is laughably bad in every way, yes, but if you can find the MST3K version you'll have a great time. They rip it too shreds and the Adam West "..I'm Batman..." gags are worth the tape price alone.

As a standalone movie your time is better spent watching cheese curdle, but with Joel and the gang, it's not at all bad...
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Scott Speigel - The guy who talked Sam Raimi into putting topless slave girls in Army of Darkness
13 March 2003
If you've read the 'Evil Dead companion' or 'If Chins could kill' you'll know what kind of guy Scott Speigel is. I watched Army of Darkness the other day, the bootleg edition, with the commentary on and was belly laughing when two topless slave girls wander on to the screen and Bruce recounts the story of how they got into the movie.

Apparently it was all Scott's idea; he steamrollered the idea past them when they weren't paying attention. Next day when Bruce arrived at the office he was stunned to find hundreds of girls lined up waiting to show Scott their boobs for the chance to get on the screen topless for maybe 2 or 3 seconds. That's the kind of guy Scott Speigel is and I like him.

And, let's face it, that's how come Bruce Campbell's in this movie - they go way back.

Oh yeah - the film - well, it's good in a Scott Speigel kind of way. Not as much fun as the Intruder (which is well worth getting if you're a Deadite fan, oh yeah) but still a good laugh a using loads of Spiegel's trade mark POV shots.

Alot of people are going to disagree though - the people i was watching this with, for example, all thought it sucked. Fair enough, but sometimes people take movies too seriously. If you like trashy B-movies, you'll like this.

If you don't you won't. Oh, and don't expect anything like the first one, it's a totally different kettle of fish. Much cheaper, much cheesier, muchos muchos muchos.

I think you already know whether you'll like this flick or not...
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28 Days Later (2002)
9/10
I went to a press screening and was lucky enough to meet Danny Boyle, Alex Garland and Andrew McDonald
8 November 2002
Warning: Spoilers
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** They answered alot of questions from the floor, most of which have answered the questions on the message boards about this film.

Firstly, the film is good, in a low-budget post-apocalyptic kind of way. It's filmed entirely on a Canon LX (about £1500) and has a low budget (reportedly $15 million, although i get the picture alot of that was spent in post production, market research and advertising). It's not a zombie movie as such, although it does have remarkable similarities to that genre.

Basically the plot revolves around Jim, a bike courier who wakes up in a hospital several weeks after being hit by a truck, only to find he is alone. He's in a locked room, naked, and his call for help are ignored. Searching around, he finds the key to the door on the floor, as if someone locked him in and slid the key under to him (weird...) so he lets himself out and tries to find someone, anyone. There's noone around, noone at all. So, he does what anyone who's been out for weeks would do; he gorges himself on chocolate and sugary soft drinks. That over he wanders out into town.

Strangely, London is deserted. London. Yes, London. DESERTED.

Anyone who lives in london will no how weird that is. Noone ever tries to do a London deserted, it never looks the part. this time it does...

Anyway, Jim eventually stumbles into a church and finds it full of bodies. When he calls out to them, a good dozen or so leap up and charge him. Before you know it, he's on the run, and that's where it all really kicks off.

oh, and i forgot to mention the prelude with the animal rights activists letting the crazed monkeys out...

The rest of the film chronicles a story of survival, how Jim and the few survivors he meets try to make sense of the tragedy while staying alive. This is why i like the movie, the fact that it's more about the characters and how they can cope with their situation, than the situation they are in. This, i think, is why comparisons to literary classics like 'The day of the Triffids' or films like 'Dawn of the Dead' are justified; they really do stand out amongst their contemporaries since they tackle the issue of human survival head on. The Triffids had those walking plants, Dawn had the zombies, but unlike most of their kind, the zombies/plants/whatever were the problem, not the stars of the show. And, like in 28 Days later, the cast don't make stupid mistakes, they try to survive, at all costs. In this movie, look out for how Selena deals with the bite Mark gets in Jim's house. Wow...

Now, i live in Greenwich, a stones throw from where Jim lives in the film, plus my name is Jim too, so when i introduced myself to Boyle & Garland in that way, i got a laugh out of them and hit them with the following questions, which they answered fairly truthfully. so let's round up a few things.

1 Zombies. Zombie plagues always have causes relating directly to the current national phobia. In the 60/70s it was radiation, now it's chemical warfare. Let's face it, these days the concept of zombies just don't cut it with popular culture; we just can't take them seriously. many thanks to Michael Jackson for that, eh? Now, though, the world is worried about chemical warfare; anthrax, smallpox, whatever, that's a real worry. That's exactly why these 'zombies' are chemically infected, disease is a very real worry. Mind you, so is rage. Danny Boyle loved the concept of the psychological virus, everyone who lives in London has experienced rage; tube rage, road rage, bus rage, supermarket trolley rage, everything. Rage is good, and Alex Garland said he wanted to get away from the cheap staggering zombies thing, he wanted turbo charged and highly infectious crazies. I added that is was refreshing that head shots weren't the only killer, that got another laugh...

2 Deserted London. You can't stop the traffic in London, you can simply 'ask' them to wait a minute. By filming at 4am, and by getting pretty ladies to do the traffic stopping, Boyle and McDonald managed intervals of at most 2 minutes, over 4 mornings, to shoot as much footage as possible with eight digital cameras. The rest is in the editing. That's one of the reasons why there are no bodies...

3 Where are all the bodies? Well, mainly because of the reason above. The three of them also remembered Kosovo, where bodies were piled up in churchs, and decided to mimic that, hence the big body pile up church scene.

4 Product placement. Take this example; Jim wanders through the hospital, past a popular UK coffee shop chain, to a foyer where he gets soft drinks and chocolates from a vending machine. Thing is, that stuff is there, in London branding is EVERYWHERE, so why hide it?

* SPOILERS *

5 The end. Upbeat hollywood trash? Well, they did film 2 endings; in the alternate ending Jim doesn't make it off the hospital bed at the end. Would that have been better than the supposedly happy ending? Alex Garland said firstly that nearly everyone is dead so that's hardly happy. Secondly, he pointed out that after getting emotionally attached to characters for the last two hours, the audiences that saw the test screening with the downer ending HATED it. He said that audiences often think they want the downbeat arty ending but actually want the happy one.

You know what, he might be right ;)
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2/10
Oh dear...
25 October 2002
Although better than the atrocious zombie holocaust, this one still does stink. Where do you start? Well, the intro is perhaps the best bit of the film with the undead rat climbing inside the guy's radiation suit and starting everything. If only his gigacounter hadn't gone of the scale! Actually, this was the first bit to truly crack me up, the actor's obviously turning the dial with his own hand (in shot, mind, no expense spared). Then there's panic in the control room i.e. the room with people in lab coats and glasses running about pushing buttons on the standard late 70s control panel - as seen in 'The Death Star has cleared the planet!'.

Then it's obviously time to cut to a hostage situation in Italy with the sorriest excuse for a swat team i've ever seen, followed by an inexplicable cut to Papa New Guinea. At this point you realise the swat team are the stars (oh no!), the stock jungle footage starts to creep in and it all gets really cheap. There are highlights though, the gory ending, the reporter who meet the natives by getting her breasts out and painting targets on them,('Follow me!' she cries, then runs off; bouncy, bouncy, bouncy) and the tutu top hat death. But to tell you the truth, this film is bad. It gives low budget horror a bad name. Without the stock footage and random cutting, it might have made the grade, but what starts as a badly acted funny zombie movie (which you love or you wouldn't be reading this) turns into a rip off flick, and unless you really, really want to watch this fiasco, i'd avoid.

Actually, if you've got the beers and the smokes it's fun to rent (in it's uncut form), but you have to be a big zombie fan to see through all the rubbish. Huge, in fact...
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The Beyond (1981)
6/10
In it's uncut form, 'The Beyond' is almost good... almost...
23 October 2002
Before i start i have to admit i really like Zombie movies and so i know my views are going to be soft, but Fulci's works have always confused me. Zombi 2 is a great little picture with a decent plot, this one is just plain nutz. It has bad editing, bad camera work, bad acting and the plot has more holes than a piece of swiss cheese, but i still found it quite charming and i would have to recommend it to hard core zombie horror fans. When i was a teenager i watched the old UK edit of this movie and remember thinking it was bad, but then i was zombie hungry. Unfortunately this only goes zombie crazy near the end, and in a cut form it doesn't seem worth the wait. In it's uncut form, yes, it is. It's all about the cutting, cut 70/80s horrors build up the tension (often badly) and then the scene fizzles out. Uncut versions build up the same and then... YUK!! It often doesn't matter if the effects are poor, they're often simply worth the wait, like a few in this movie. Having said that, alot of this film makes absolutely no sense and to this day i don't get the relevance of the big white cataracts a couple of the girls had in their eyes. Those crazy Italians...
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