Change Your Image
Shopnowandsave
Reviews
Holmes & Watson (2018)
Quite simply the worst film I have ever seen.
Apparently someone called Etan Cohen is credited with writing this dross, along with Arthur Conan Doyle. The latter is innocent and all the blame for foisting this execrable load of unfunny garbage on us must be laid squarely at the feet of said Mr. Cohen. I won't say that he should be hunted down and destroyed for being responsible for this travesty, as I am morally against capital punishment.
But if I wasn't, that is what I would say.
Oh, it is bad. 'Though honestly I can only say that about the first 20 minutes, as I walked out at that mark. I am sure, however that it got no better. Times must be hard in the film industry to have a cast of essentially competent actors, Reilly, Ferrell, and Lord help us Ralph Fiennes putting their names forward to appear in this humorless black hole. Better they had gone on welfare than front up for this embarrassing cluster-wreck.
I at least now have a ready answer for when I am ever asked what is the worst film I have ever seen: "Holmes & Watson".
Troy: Fall of a City (2018)
What went wrong was........
The Gods, at play with we mortals, enjoy displaying their strength and power over us. So it came to pass, as they say in the Classics, that the actors in this classic somehow offended the Gods. And this led to them being cursed. However they were not cursed with being bad actors, as tempting as it is to proffer this. No, being Greek Gods, they cursed the actors with leaving them exactly as they are. Mere mortal human beings with absolutely no charisma whatsoever.
That is a heck of an effective curse.
A scan of the characters, Achilles, Ajax, Agamemnon, Hector, Helen reveals those whose names are the essence of legend and thereby charisma.No actor here is a bad actor, but there was not one great artiste of high art among them. And the Iliad is greatness, and therefore requires, greatness to be brought to it.
Perhaps it was as simple a matter as the present BBC's financial masters restricted them to hiring actors who would save them a few bob in the long run. Maybe it was that bargain basement ratings were brought about by hiring bargain basement actors. Who knows.
Well, actually the Gods know, because it was they who cursed this lackluster telling of one of the world's greatest classic stories. Cursed it to be ordinary, when it needed to be extraordinary.
The Last Remake of Beau Geste (1977)
It out Melbrookses Mel Brooks
I remember Marty Feldman, having first seen him in TV's "At Last the 1948 Show" in the '60's and his eccentric brand of humour has not aged much. I say much because sadly the naughty sexual innuendo and double entendre's do make me wish for a simpler age. A time when the thought of aged Trevor Howard and an absolutely stunning Anne-Margaret heading for the bedroom to do "something creative with a chandelier and a feather duster" brought forth a chortle.
The rest however is top notch improvisational comedy. Constantly watchable if not thigh-slappingly funny. It is a stream of amusement interspersed with runs of out loud laughter.
The horse with the prosthetic leg matching his rider is brilliant. As another poster stated the large range of quality actors appearing is a tribute to Marty Feldman's professional standing. To see Darth Vader, er, I mean James Earl Jones doing a very funny parody of Terry-Thomas who actually appears in the film is wonderful.
I liked Mel Brooks' "Men in Tights" which closely resembles "Last Remakes" style but somehow Marty could skew the humour that one more degree to make it just that little bit more eccentrically funny.
It may seem a bit silly in parts now, but overall it is thoroughly enjoyable. And finding a child look-a-like for Marty Feldman made me push this films rating from a 7 to an 8.