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Reviews
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Why are sequels rarely as good as the original?
I was contemplating that question after watching remakes of The Time Machine and Planet of the Apes. The answer of course is that people always do remakes of good movies. They really should be doing remakes of bad movies, they are ones that need it.
And there is no better example of the above then The Planet of the Apes, a movie that is such a pale imitation of the original that I was angry at myself for paying $4 to see it.
Tim Burton is a very good director, I'm usually a fan of his work. But, with this movie he seems to have gotten so caught up with turning actors into monkeys that he lost sight everything else. The movie has great makeup, but no soul. It just reeks of being a directors vanity project. This movie far surpasses the original in it presentation of the monkey planet, i.e. make-up, effects, acting, yet is less believeable.
Burton also seems to have been so consumed with his monkey cast, he forgot his humans. It can not go unmentioned how insipid Mark Wahlberg is movie. A potted plant would have held my attention as much as he did.
And finally, nothing illustrates the futility of trying to remake this movie then the "surprise ending". Obviously, he couldn't do the same ending as the original, it wouldn't be a surprise. So it became necessary to come up with something totally different, but would still have the power and impact of the original. Well, I guess they couldn't think anything so they decided to go with nonsensical instead. Yes folks, the big surprise is that the movie's ending MAKE NO SENSE!!! None, zero, zippo.
Matthew Blackheart: Monster Smasher (2002)
Second rate Bruce Campbell
There is a line between tongue-in-cheek parody and "Hey, look at me" ham acting. This film is so far on the wrong side of that line,you can't even see it from there.
It's a shame, because this could have been a good movie. I like everything about, except for the HORRIBLE over-acting of its star. Bruce Campbell is the undisputed master at this style of acting, and Rob Bogue tries so hard to imitate him, you have to wonder why they didn't just get the real thing.
Call this one a missed opportunity. 4 out of 10.