Reviews

Okay, bad guys let by Kim Coates invade a water facility and threaten to poison the drinking supply as a front for an even bigger crime perpetrated by Gary Busey, only to be foiled by The Lawnmower Man! (Jeff Fahey in a performance that screams "I'm just collecting a paycheck.") Carrie-Ann Moss is supposed to be the sidekick along for the ride, but she actually fares better than the guy protecting her! The Good: For a B-movie, the set-work IS top-notch. Two real water facilities were used and this was taken advantage of throughout the movie. The heels in the movie obviously knew this was a crap gig and hammed it up all the way through. Kim Coates in particular was on a role as the dick-head leader Montessi, with one-liners galore.

The Bad: This was supposed to be a Die Hard clone, but there were maybe six bad guys at most. Any police force could have eaten these guys before dinner, but we get David Chase (Jeff Fahey), so the baddies have a chance. Instead of brute force, Fahey should have used his wooden, monotone delivery to subdue the criminals, as it would have been more effective. Carrie-Ann Moss puts a feather in her cap long before Fahey gets his stuff in gear and even is the deciding factor in Fahey's survival - and we're not even halfway through the movie! The bad guys, while funny, are equally inept. In fact, the enemy met their demise largely due to internal backstabbing and their own errors, not due to Chase! There were several times where Montessi could have ended the threat of Chase but instead gave him An Easily Escapable Scenario as Austin Powers would put it.

The Ugly: The "Sass Jordan-esquire" song at the end of the movie, which is also the lone song on the "soundtrack." This would have rated higher for camp reasons if the "action" scenes had, you know, action! As it is, a 5/10 for intentional comedy by Kim Coates and crew, followed by unintentional comedy by Jeff Fahey.

Oh man, where to begin: Take a washed-up actor with a generic stock character name accompanying a stereotypical rich-girl.

Add your generic bad-guy crew completely devoid of charisma and acting ability.

Add your unbelievable action scenes, meaning it cannot be believed! A gunfight in a rear of the plane with no stray bullets causing damage to the plane or other passengers! Antonio Sabato, Jr. escaping gunfire by hiding behind an aluminum container! (Note the hull is damaged by same gunfire.) A struggle in which a person shot in the chest no-sells the injury and fatally wounds his attacker! A decompression which doesn't suck anyone out of the plane! An Army Corps Engineering Unit able to "create a 100 foot runway extension" in 20 minutes! A Boeing 747-100 (or is it a 767-300?) not needing reverse thrust to land on a narrow atoll! The subdued hijacker, who manages to free himself after capture, not bouncing around like a pinball during the "crash landing!" All of which leads to a climax that is truly award-worthy... a Razzie award! Oh, and screw the injured and dead flight crew, there's steak on the BBQ! Best. Movie. Ever. 9 out of 10 for sheer camp value.

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD! THOU HATH BEEN WARNED!*

I know it's habit for Hollywood big-wigs to get into the recycling business. After all, it helps the environment, and gives said big-wigs great public rep for Doing Their Part. However, I cannot fail to notice how many cliches this allegded movie ripped off from better features out there. (Cowardly young protagonist who achieves success by luck or via the actions of others, said protagonist doesn't want anything to do with former affiliation, bullying opposition who somehow realizes the protagonist is not such a bad guy, tacked-on love interest, etc.)

Even an hour after watching this dreck, I still am debating the worst part of this movie:

(1) The fact that the featured stars (Antonio Banderas and whoever played the mother) were only figured into the plot during the final fifteen minutes;

(2) The story revolved around a whiny pre-teen boy who never gave us a reason to care about his cowardly demeanor - Alexa Vega's character would have been a much better lead considering Carmen Ortega oozes 10x more self-confidence and courage than Juni;

(3) The last fifteen minutes made no sense and was akin to watching a train wreck - various people out of nowhere come to assist the Ortega clan against the chief antagonist;

(4) Said last fifteen minutes came to an abrupt, hokey resolution.

(5) Apparently, even children don't know which part of the movie is "three-dimensional" or not - no, we have to be reminded at the start of and during the movie to have our GLASSES ON or GLASSES OFF. I know movie producers mistake the public for idiots, but I never thought the producers could be THIS condescending.

A few good things about the movie:

(1) Ricardo Montablan and Sylvester Stallone did their best with what was given and gave perfectly acceptable performances in their given role;

(2) Good message about spending too much time in front of a video game versus experiencing real life and being with family - this was the main reason why I did not vote SK3 a 1.

(3) It was only 75 minutes long.

Unfortunately, the crap outweighs the message being sent. There are better movies that could either give the same family-friendly message (Disney's PIXAR movies come to mind) or allow the viewer to vicariously view life inside a machine (TRON).

3 out of 10.