Reviews

It's the neck pillow, I just can't deal with it. First off, there's zero sense that any humanoid would evolve such a thing. It apparently serves no function, and it would make the head tremendously top heavy. Further, why would one individual have dark skin with a three-lobed neck pillow, and other green skin with a two? That can't happen, in any galaxy.

What's especially galling is the primitive special effects they use to create the neck pillows, it's quite obviously make of stuffed animal synthetic fur, and you can even see the seams on the side where they sewed it together. Millions per episode, and they can't do better than 1950's era "Invaders from Mars" (where you could see the zippers on the "Martian" costumes)? They didn't want to deal with the transition between skin and neck pillow, so they have the pillow race people wear some kind of stupid head gear to hide it. I mean, does the green skin woman really need some kind of leather head gear with goggles, all the time? Does she sleep in it? Must stink after awhile.

There is some sort of plot, who cares, and it's post empire, so at least there are no clone storm troopers who can't hit the broad side of a barn with their laser pistols. But no matter how much you want to enjoy the somewhat decent effects, every time Dawson appears with that stuffed animal around her neck, you lose any connection. Oh, and let's not forget the muppet-like pet cat thing, which is animated so poorly you can't even see it eat. Unacceptable.

The story doesn't really grab, it's all over the place, but what I can't get past is to suspend belief in the basic setup. Humans with ram's horns on their heads? How would that ever develop? Ridiculous.

But the real issue is the wings. First, when they're not flying, they walk around with pieces of fabric down their backs. There's no use pretending they're wings, they're cloth. The effects department blew it so bad with that, it's impossible to gloss over. But never mind, it's what happens when the wings go in motion that's the real problem. First, they're way too flimsy and way too small to carry the weight of even a small human, that's so obvious. Second, where's the massive musculature required to make them beat? After all, most of the weight of a bird is in the breast muscles that flap the wings, that's where your Chick-Fil-A sandwich comes from. And if those overweight chickens can't even dream of lifting off, what chance does a human have, with no additional muscle at all?

You could say, well, you're being picky, this is fantasy, you're suppose to overlook common sense. But in this case, the violations of physics and biology are so gross, it's just not doable. I just have to laugh when I see some dude with horns. Silly.

This thing is just flat out bizarre, I won't even bother to explain the plot. It's so Dramatic and Important, as the endless exposition assures us, countless subtitles, eye straining to watch. The acting is overblown and unprofessional, and the influence of CCP censoring bewildering. And yet, it is entertaining, if one has the energy to pay attention. I guess I'm glad I've watched (so far), not sure I would recommend anyone else do so. Give episode one a shot, if you turn it off half way through, totally understandable. If you get through that with any kind of curiosity for what follows, okay, I get that too. But in no sense can you say this is a good TV production, that would purely be a fan boy sentiment.

Ed: Now that we're deeper in, I'd also add that while the exposition subtitles have slowed down, so has the plot. There's been long excursions into the Cultural Revolution that could have condensed to about ten minutes, and a video game that somehow is necessary to the "plot", but drags considerably, episodes worth. The last eight or so episodes could have been two just as well. The acting hasn't improved at all, the most natural actor so far has been the lead guy's little daughter.

CCP input is more obvious as well, the current time in the series is apparently 2008, so they could run breathless TV announcers talking about how well the Olympics preparations are going. There's no other reason I can see to set it in the past, aside from state cheerleading. The "combat zone" guys are great, they are obviously intended to be Russian or American, but they never mention countries at all. Naturally China leads this crazy organization, which was apparently formed before they even knew who they were in combat with. As of episode 16, they still don't, and we sure as heck don't know either.

Ed: We're now up to episode 27, and it's devolved into a drawn out history of one of the main characters that could have been done in one episode, and is now into, like, 10? Endless. At least the "combat zone" people know the enemy now, though it may take years for it to appear . . . This is technically only part one! It doesn't help that the actor in question is a piece of wood. Oh, and absolutely ridiculous science has developed in the plot, absurd stuff. Ah well, only three more to go.

I would be derelict not calling attention to the "actor" who plays Mike Evans. In one of the (3?) meeting episodes he's seen from a distance, and even then I noticed that he seemed to be moving and talking in a strange way. Now we get to meet him close up (still on the above biography theme), and my goodness, it's difficult to overstate how awful he is. They also appear to be dubbing in Chinese when he speaks, there are disconnected sequences in the audio. Real douche chills stuff.

In spite of a very interesting story, this is just another one of those crime investigation teasers. As usual there's the reporter (with really white teeth), the ex detective (with really splashy ties) and the poor family, their interview snippets repeated over and over and over and . . .

The problem is first, nothing happens, of course. If they had actually found anything out, it would be on the news. It's like a bigfoot series, of course they didn't find bigfoot, you think wouldn't have leaked out before the show aired? Come on.

Still, one could live with that if the show was properly constructed, but it's not. They waste huge amounts of time with stock footage and bits of interviews hashed over endlessly. This could have been done in two hours, easy. The other four are pure filler. And of course, there's the usual red herrings that go nowhere - is that blood in her trunk? No. Have they found her remains? No. You know the drill, those are not spoilers!

That's too bad, a more talented crew might have done this story more justice. I feel bad for the family being used as infotainment.

So far, the only versions of the second season I can find are dubbed, horribly. If you can find a version with the original language it might be watchable, season one was a decent time passer. But I refuse to put up with dubbing, the heck with banning guns, ban dubbing first.

Mermaids? I mean, you can ignore the obvious idiocy of the entire concept in a comedy film, or a kiddy animated movie, but in a dramatic series? How can you possibly suspend disbelief once a mermaid is introduced?

I suppose you could say, well, what about "The Shape of Water", that had a mer . . . uh . . . man. But that movie was a fantasy, like "Pans Labyrinth", the actual existence of such an impossible creature was not critical or even important. Here it's everything, the central premise of the whole series. That's insane.

And of course, it doesn't help that the acting is high school drama class stuff. There's no one in the show I've even heard of, much less recognize, aside from a few minor league TV professionals like Anthony Harrison, no offense. For that matter, I don't even know what "Freeform" is (I got my copy of the pilot from . . . fight club). But they must be desperate for scripts, this wouldn't have made it out of the slushpile from the shop that did "Sharknado". Awful.

All the victims are young high school girls with great hair, and the "twitching" allows them to toss it around in a most fetching manner. The brave young female attorney returning to her roots to fight big business blah blah blah, also has great hair.

That's about it, and it gets old about episode four. The acting is horrible, the story glacial and completely ridiculous. If anything like this really happened, the press would descend on this town like a storm. There would be federals all over the place, commissions, investigations. But why I am wasting your time explaining why it's so stupid? Ten minutes of this drek will convince you of that, great hair aside.

After episode one, it might have gone in different directions, although there were mystical hints. But episode two definitely establishes (I think) where this piece of junk is going until it's canceled, "Final Destination". Yup, you can't cheat death. But they try, and I assume they'll keep on trying until they figure out the clue from the fortune teller lady. Anyway, don't waste your time waiting for that, this is terrible. I hate the kid. I hate everyone in this.

The first season seemed like a done deal, but here we are, back with the main character in her old digs, being a cop again. This is a straight procedural with the usual personal side plots, and the really tall woman from Game of Thrones tossed in (don't you want to climb her?).

Ignoring season one, and how this has absolutely nothing to do with it (where's the lake??), this is pretty good. The cast is great, and it's a decent coincidence plot, where all the relationships are going to collide (not a spoiler, it's obvious). As a time passer, fine. But it doesn't have the mystery and weirdness of the first season, they may as well just started over with new characters.

The main problem is, I suppose, that it's just another of a long string of these things, mainly out of England, mainly with women cops. They're okay, but one after another gets a little stale.

You can certainly feel sympathy for the people working on this case, but the simple fact is that too much time has passed to learn anything new. Almost everyone involved with the murder is either dead or a fossil. It's rather sad at the end where they express their faith that it will be solved. No, it won't, it can't, no more than a murder that happened in 1850 could be resolved.

The biggest problem is that this story could have been told in two hours. It's stretched out to seven by complete filler, the camera watching someone make tea, dogs cavorting on a couch, a cat walking across the floor, and endless repetition of stills. It's just draining, nothing happens, no great insights are revealed.

If this documentary was made fifteen years ago, well, maybe you'd have a shot, but in 2017? It's just too late, this is no longer living history.

Yeah, I couldn't get into it either. The first hour was okay, but as the second dragged on I really lost interest when they started to invent plot details surrounding Manson, like blackmailing that (Congressman? State Senator? I forgot) and holding his daughter for leverage. By the time it got close for Louie I was lost anyway, and while carefully waiting to make sure "The Comedians" was over, so as not one glimpse of Billy Crystal soiled my eyes, I changed over and I don't think I'll ever come back.

Some movies or shows can be carried by the lead actor, they're so interesting to watch that you can forgive some lapses, but Duchovny doesn't have that kind of personal power, he walks through his scenes as if he was as disinterested in what was going on as I ended up being. The remainder of the cast were forgettable, I didn't see anyone emerging that would hold my attention. Sorry, but it's second rate network TV fodder, nothing about it I feel compelled to return to.

Well, first, how there could be that many murders in Gotland, but never mind. What confuses me is what exactly was made. According to IMDb, we got a four part series in 2008, and four separate episodes in 2010 (plus the feature movie in 2012). I have four English subtitle files for the 2008 series, but not the vids, and I've watched six episodes from 2010, not four (five of the English sub files needed to be re-synched). I have the movie vid, but there are no English subs (yet).

As far as the show goes, well, nothing special. The Maria Wern character is a pretty ordinary cop, she seems to have no special gifts, no unusual personality quirks. Aside from the actress being pleasant to watch, I don't really get why this needed to be made. I enjoyed it well enough, but am I jonesing over the 2008 and 2012 material I haven't seen? Not really.

The same exact plot, and a character with the same mannerisms (she even changes tops in the police bull room, that's as far as I got before erasing it). For the third time?? There was some justification for a US version, after all, we're subtitle challenged over here, or illiterate, depending on your view of the US TV audience. But anyone using the internet has seen Bron if they wanted to (I did), so I found the US version vaguely insulting to the intelligence, the way the main plot copied Bron right to the final scene on the bridge. But the Brits? I mean, they actually broadcast the original on British TV! Unbelievable, and I don't care how good the production and acting is . . . unwatchable.

Ed: Yeah, they remade Shakespeare a hundred times, but not in the same year!! The US version just ended a couple weeks ago.

OK, Malcolm McDowell is just here as a "name", he's merely the narrator. Moreover, his comments are not particularly welcome, particularly after the second scenario.

That aside, this is a very good horror movie, a trilogy of tales in classic fashion. The cast is fine, the photography is excellent, the soundtrack lush and properly climatic. It's as good as any other horror/macabre movie out there right now, certainly on a par with "The Purge" for example, but fewer than five votes here? Zero critical reviews on R/T or linked here? I don't understand that at all, my first instinct was that this must be some crapola indie film, and I'd expect maybe two 9 or 10 star reviews comparing it to the best of Hitchcock (by people who had never posted any other reviews until they were hired to work on the film). But it's not, it's a well made, mainstream film with real actors and professional craftsmanship. By all means check it out.

I don't understand what the first reviewer was talking about, this is a killer thriller that moves like lightning, once you get past the (very good) setup.

Is there a deep mystery to be resolved that's real interesting? Not particularly, but I believe Hitchcock had a term for that, the "mcguffin", the thing the crooks want but the audience doesn't care. This movie is about nonstop action, and it's very well done, one of the best foot chases I've ever seen, with amazing camera work. For them to have accomplished that in 35 days with two cameramen, it's just . . . astounding. By all means check it out.

Ignored for many years, this exciting film of the attack of the tiger men from Mars was enormously influential on future science fiction films. Noted director of early 1950's films, Theodore Sheckler (working under aliases due to his communist party membership), credited the film as "inspirational" and "brilliant beyond belief". The directors of special effects for "Star Wars" claimed to seen the film every day during production. Speaking off the record, one of them said "our goal was to somehow improve on the spaceship models used in the film, but a high bar was set." Effects director Dr. Harlan Tarbell, the noted magician, is still remembered today with the Harlan Tarbell award for special effects given out at the Oscars. Reportedly Tarbell's work was a constant reference in designing prosthetic skullcap makeup for the recent worldwide hit "Avatar", and he is particularly known for his novel use of partially hidden strings to suspend spaceships from studio ceilings.

The film was produced by the father and son team of John F. Dille and John Dille, Jr., whose budding acting career was stopped short of star potential by a fatal accident involving marmalade and a hat. His bereaved father was not able to work again, and spent his later years in seclusion, dedicating himself to invent safer marmalade in his garage workshop. His work is responsible for several patents that guide the industry today, without which tasty marmalade would probably not be in such abundance.

It's kind of a plain story, this kind of thing has been done many times. As much as I admire King, I never even read the book after learning of the plot, the first book of his I missed.

Anyway, like I said, routine, and pretty good considering who made it, which I'm sure many will echo. But I must say I loved the cop! His one liners really made the first part zing, and it's been pretty flat since he left. In fact, I'm getting bored and may miss the final humans-come-together confrontation with the demon from another dimension (can you say "It"?) in favor of a Monty Python re-run I've seen a thousand times. Hmmm, maybe I rated it too high.

I'll just repeat my Amazon review to save you a few dollars.

Okay, for starters if you're a fan of sexploitation sleaze, you just about have to buy a film named like this, don't you? I mean, you know there are going to be some problems just from the box cover, a drawing (from a website advertised in the flick) of a naked young girl in a middle-east like scene carrying a cross with whipmarks on her bum. Uh, okay, but that can't possibly have anything to do with the film, eh? Another problem might be that it supposedly won the "Tales of Woe" film festival, which so far as I can find doesn't exist.

Well, nevermind, like I said, someone has to buy this and review it solely due to the title, even though there's a strong possibility that it could be some student art flick with the title pasted on later . . . which of course it is. In fact the disk doesn't even bother to disguise the fact that the real name of this wreck is "Into Thy Hands". Apparently they couldn't even bother to edit the video to match the box. After some more drawings, with more in the so-called "bonus feature", the embarrassment begins, which is basically an ultra short and ultra cheap semi-slasher flick with no pay offs. The continuity is laughable, like when the bearded killer wastes 30 seconds getting a rope unsnarled while the camera runs.

There is some nudity and some sleaze scenes that might have been half decent if they weren't filmed in slow motion with no sound. Oh, did I forget? There's a sludgy background music track but no actual sound recording at all. R-rated bondage gets practically no respect at all these days, what with it plastered all over usenet and the web, so that nets this mess the minimum one star. For joke collectors only.

Despite a fabulous cast led by Alan Rudolph regular Keith Carradine, this vacant, flat movie with virtually no plot is easy to classify as a lesser "Nashville" set on the West Coast. I mean, what are the major happenings, Denver Pyle makes Harvey Keitel a partner? Uh . . . that was about it, there's a party.

So, why the heck do I like this so much? I've seen it maybe 30 times, even though it's unavailable on any media, at the moment, at least, and every time I watch it all the way through to the last shot of Carridine looking sideways at the camera. I saw it when it first came out, and it stayed in my mind for decades until it started to show up on the movie channels. I can't explain it, the music is nice (particularly "One Night Stands" and "Welcome to L.A."), but the conversation isn't particularly clever (compare "Choose Me" for example). I can't really defend the film, how could I? There's no message, no plot, no outstanding performances to champion . . . I don't know, I just enjoy watching it. Beats me.

I forgot about this movie until I saw it on tape in a cut-out bin. I don't know why it isn't a well-known film, it's very good. The cast is excellent, and the straight-forward tone is unique. There's no judgement provided by the movie makers on the plotters, who are on one hand presented as earnest men doing what they believed to be in the best interest of the country, and on the other as lunatic facists, discussing eliminating "excess population" as if it were an everyday thing.

The purpose of the movie is to educate, it seems, presenting a lot of facts or what are presented to be facts, about Oswald as a patsy. I've read enough to know that not all of what is presented as factual is true (the phone system being cut out in D.C. is a well-known canard, repeated in "JFK"), but the movie uses this approach to lay out a very logical scenario regarding how it could have been done. The political background, and the details of the lapses of the Secret Service are used to good effect.

Finally, there is the presence of JFK himself as a counterpoint throughout the movie. Films of some of his best lines combined with the haunting musical score lend an air of melancholy appropriate to the subject matter, a feeling that is shared by the plotters. There is a quote from Shakespeare given by Robert Ryan that sums it up; ". . . and nothing can we call our own but death . . . let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings." It's one fine moment of many in a well-crafted film.

. . . so I'll leave it to you. Suffice to say I cringe when I look up at a cloud and it even slightly resembles a spiral . . . brrr, what an image. Anyway, why in the heck didn't they release a region 1 version of the DVD as long as they added English subtitles to the region 3 version?? This film should be seen by any film fanatic, love it or hate it, but it's pretty difficult to do with a copy you can't play, eh? OK, you can buy a DVD player to make it work, but I'm not really up to that for one flick. Dumb choice by the DVD producers.

Oh, by the way, the group that sings the song ("Raven") over the closing credits is called "Do As Infinity", and their stuff is really good, available in overseas versions for normal (non import) prices at YesAsia. This may not be news to you, but it took hours of internet searching to find it out . . . the music credits are in Japanese, right?