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kevin_haddow
Reviews
Sucker Punch (2011)
Stylish, but overblown and makes little sense
The trailers made this look fantastic, like a cross between Kill Bill and Dungeons & Dragons.
Unfortunately it doesn't really live up to the hype. We have an (admittedly very cute) young girl marched into a mental institution/brothel and forced to dance for punters. When she dances she escapes into a fantasy world that helps her and her friends figure out how to escape. Cue one CGI battle scene after another, and they are actually pretty well done. The problem is they aren't that coherent and don't string together very well. There's no continuity between the set pieces. They are stylish, well done and overblown but, as seems to be a trait of some modern films, you once again feel like you are watching someone playing a video game.
The main characters aren't even that likable, and you end up not really caring whether our sexy heroine escapes or not. Once the film has finished you tend to sit for a few second thinking "OK, but just what the hell was that film actually about?".
Darfur (2009)
It's OK, but still suffers having Uwe at the helm.
An excellent premise, with some decent actors so really this should have been far, far better. It has some good moments, and is basically a decent storyline looking at the horror of what went on in Darfur. Unfortunately Uwe Boll's continuing use of the very, very shaky hand held cam really, really spoils this film. Rage was pretty decent, the type of film where the shaky cam actually works quite well but in this it just completely distracts from what is going on. I ended up paying much less attention to what was going on because the shaky cam was just far too distracting and far too annoying. For some reason Uwe also manages to take some decent actors and extract a mediocre performance from them.
At least he is nowhere near as bad a director as Rob Zombie.
Rent this, but don't buy it as the flaws far outweighs the good points.
Devil's Playground (2010)
Danny Dyer's career continues it's slide into the toilet.
Oh dear oh dear. Yet another low budget zombie type movie that fails to hit any kind of spot.
Danny Dyer can be likable enough in some films, but he always plays the same part, no matter what the movie, and in this that trend continues. Unfortunately his limited talent and acting abilities shine through here more than in many of his other films. In fact, the only person who is more wooden and a worse actor is Craig Farbrass, a very poor man's Jason Statham. The director and screenwriter have nicked bits from other films, most noticeably 28 Days Later with fast moving and agile baddies. But this film has none of the style or substance of 28 Days Later. None of the characters are in any way likable, in the end you just do not care one iota if everyone dies, in fact, you end up wishing they would all be killed just so the dross can end.
If you want to see how good a low budget Zombie type horror can be, rent the French film La Horde instead.
Interplanetary (2008)
Oh dear.
Where to start with this?.
I really wanted to like this, I love sci-fi films, even the ultra low budget ones, I love horror films, even low budget ones, but this, oh my God.
The special effects were straight out of the 1970s Doctor Who school of sci-fi. Cheap looking sets, plastic guns, boiler suits for spacesuits. Hard to believe this was made in the 21st Century, it would have been rubbish even back in the 70s. As for the acting, good God, where did they get these people?. The acting is worse than even that in any adult movie, it is that bad. Luckily I was given the DVD from a friend, I am so glad I never paid for it. It says something for how bad this is though, that my friend had bought it for £1 from a Pound Shop less than three years after it was made. It isn't even worth the pound he paid to be honest.
Another for the "Avoid" list I am afraid.
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Better than I expected, but leave your brain at home.
OK let's start by saying this could have been a lot worse, but then again, given the huge budget it should have been a lot better. It probably would have been with a better director.
It's a bit clichéd in places, and steals a lot from other films, but I suppose with alien invasion films that is to be expected somewhat. The special effects and battle scenes were pretty good, but I cannot help feeling I was watching someone playing Halo or Killzone for two hours.
Some parts of the plot are a but daft, why did a bunch of marines hot wire a bus?. There were only a few of them left and only a few survivors, yet they hot wire something as slow as and conspicuous as a bus. Surely they'd have had a better chance with a pickup or maybe a Humvee left behind by the retreating troops. The dialogue is cheesy in places, but then again so was the dialogue in Starship Troopers and that was great fun. The main difference seems to be that this took itself seriously, whereas the cast and crew of Starship Troopers didn't from the start.
If you ignore the plot holes, and leave your brain at home, it's an enjoyable enough two hours though. Once the action starts it doesn't really let up, which does save the film from mediocrity.
And once on BluRay it should be a good way to show off a big TV and surround sound system.
Zombie Driftwood (2010)
Very poor, a waste of nearly an hour and a half.
I can only think those reviews giving this film good marks were written by the production staff. This film is really not very good, and I love zombie movies, even many low budget ones. The acting is absolute rubbish, and probably spoils the film more than anything else. The special effects are the kind pretty much any college film students can surpass.
Do yourself a favour and avoid this, there are much funnier, better acted and scarier low budget zombie movies out there, such as Fido and Dario Argento's Demons 1&2 from way back in the 80s. It kind of says something about how bad this is, that it is far worse than low budget zombie films that are approaching 30 years old. Half of the audience at the horror film festival went for something to eat, or catch up on some sleep, rather than watch this appalling film and I can't say I blame them, I wish I had too.
Seriously, avoid.