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greasecapade
Reviews
The Cat in the Hat (2003)
Worst. Movie. Ever.
Just not funny.... not without funny moments, per se, but taken as a whole, just not funny.
What's interesting, in retrospect, is it's hard to put your finger on anything specific. It just sucked. Totally unfaithful to the original story(ies), lame plot, gross, and Mike Myers, well, he's the same as always. Fat Bastard + Dr Evil + Wayne + ... you get the idea. Does he even HAVE a personality?
Super Mario Bros. (1993)
To video game nerds: Get a Life! It's a M-O-V-I-E!
I've seen this three or four times, and it's more fun each and every time. The cast is excellent. Dennis Hopper? Who could ask for a better villain? John Leguizamo keeps the idiot factor to a minimum... so on and so forth.
The effects are a lot like the rest of the movie - FUN. It's great to see a film where the effects are not a bunch of CG mumbo jumbo. It's a fun all-ages sort of movie, and anyone who could watch this without a smile is taking the world far too seriously.
It seems many of the reviewers here are complaining about the movie's poor adherenence to the video games. Give me a break. Ooh, let's make a feature film about a 2D sidescrolling platform game. Uh huh, sure.
This movie stands entirely on its own, needing no 8-bit backdrop, bring on the DVD!
Lay It Down (2001)
Saved By The Bell meets ... um ... something lame
Got this off of usenet, so I wasn't prepared for the heavy (and I do mean EXCEPTIONALLY heavy) religious theme. Not that I'm one of Satan's disciples or anything, but it was very heavy handed.
On top of that, the acting stunk. It might be because they had to get good little boys to play bad little boys, but it didn't work.
There was some pretty cool filmmaking involved, so any fan of directorial style might want to check it out, but be ready with the fast forward buttons.
There was some sloppiness to the editing. In particular, a black Mustang (probably a representation of Satan?) squares off against a white 240Z. Wheels spin, camera changes, and whattya know, that white 240Z is transmogrified into a white Civic.
I gave up early on, so I can't vouch for the moral impact of it. But I would like to point out that this sort of film is totally preaching to the choir. If the director/writer/producer was trying to bring religion to the unwashed streetracing masses, they went about it all wrong. I think I'd rather watch an adult diaper commercial than listen to a steely-gazed bible thumper rant about Jesus' dying for us. Yawn.
Scary Movie 2 (2001)
Horrible, absolutely horrible
Dunno if it's because we quit smokin buds, but this movie was nowhere near as funny as the first.
Or maybe it's the fact that the teen-slasher movies lampooned in the first Scary Movie were more interesting targets.
Or maybe a mock-teen-slasher flick mocking teen slasher flicks worked.
A mock-teen-slasher flick mocking serious horror films of the past is both derivative and hopelessly disjointed. I give it a one only because zero is not an option.
Le Cinquième Élément (1997)
Excellent movie in all respects
This movie is one of our all time favorites, watched again and again. The cinematography and production design is stunning, and its production date, before the current fad of CG, lends it an air of credibility in the creature effects department.
If you haven't seen this yet, shut off your PC and go rent it now. 10/10
Men in Black II (2002)
Probably better in the theater
We saw a screener, i think, with pretty horrible quality.. so the ooey gooey details were missing, and occasionally the poor sound covered up some of the lines... or one-liners, as the case may be.
The cast was great, acting and general cinematography as well. But it lacked the spark that made the first film such a success.... plus, Lara Flynn Boyle, though easy on the eyes, and her coverup as an underwear model nothwithstnding, is no Bug-In-An-Edgar-Suit.
They also could (should) have more fully plotted this film, as I understand MIB1 originally was. Please, guys give the moviegoing public a little credit and give us a story, not just sight gags.
That said, it was fun to watch, and we still plan on seeing it on the big screen with a bucket of greasy popcorn. 7/10
The Sum of All Fears (2002)
Right movie for a military crowd
I saw this film a week before opening at the local Coast Guard Training Base... for free;-) So you can believe it was packed with crewcut types who were into every bit of the movie. Even the dry militaristic humor got a reaction that civilians might have groaned, moaned, or more likely, not even caught.
"A new Jack Ryan?! What gives?" was the consensus going into the movie. Watching it brought around a bunch of nitpicking, but hey, that's Hollywood. The actors were all capable and believable, and yippy-hooray, the love interest isn't a 20-year old bimbo.
The action sequences were excellent, and the satellite-view location changes helped the audience keep track of where we were. Tom Clancy got an Exec Producer credit, and it shows. A great adaptation of the novel.... as an aside, it was great fun seeing the shock on the faces of those who hadn't read the book when the inevitable came;-)
All that said, the movie was a bit dry/slow/dramatic, and I suspect that the general public, who I have -zero- faith in, will probably pan it. So catch it while you can! 8/10