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Breeders (1997)
"You look like one of the new students"
An alien comes to planet earth to do a bit of breeding with female students at a college in Boston, Mass, (not Boston, England) where by some chance he lands in a meteor exactly outside the front door. Which was lucky. The plot of the film limps along in a tedious way with nothing original or arresting. Not a lot made sense, particularly the behaviour of the characters. Nobody stood out in the cast but I did like the look of the rubbery monstrous alien. He seemed to have a roguish smile sometimes but that may have been my misreading of the alien not having seen many aliens in my life. The basement under the college seemed to stretch for miles and included a sewer and a pit full of fire and water where the monster met his doom! Real estate in Boston, Mass must be pretty awesome.
The Fifth Floor (1978)
"Nobody believes a psycho"
A disco hostess Kelly McIntyre is incarcerated in a mental heath unit when she actually sane, being wrongly suspected of attempting suicide. Things go badly for her. It's a mixture of exploitation and genuine drama and doesn't quite work as either but it is held together by some good performances, particularly the actresses Dianne Hull, Patti D'Arbanville, Sharon Farrell and Julie Adams. Top billed Bo Hopkins goes over the top as the sleazy warder Carl. There is a good music score by Alan Silvestri and a catchy song called 'Fly Away' warbled by Pattie Brooks. The dancing in the disco is... well, of its time. The film claims it is based on a true story. It was better than I expected.
No Orchids for Miss Blandish (1948)
"I'm pretty fussy about who I take up a dark alley"
One can understand why the film was controversial in 1948 but looking at it now if you accept it as British film makers trying to be more American in content and atmosphere it is a pretty good movie. There is an air of fatalism which doesn't presage a happy ending. It is violent for the time but looks tame now. I enjoyed the performances most; imported actor Jack La Rue as the gangster tamed by love, Walter Crisham as the slimy Eddie, Lilli Molnar as tough Ma Grissom, MacDonald Parke as the wise Doc, not to mention welcome character actors like Danny Green, Michael Balfour (excellent) and Sydney James. And of course Linden Travers as Miss Blandish, who is riveting. Ms. Travers was woefully underused by the British film industry of the time even though she always gave a vivid performance. Cinema's loss.
Assignment K (1968)
"We can start an avalanche that way"
The movie looked good in 'Techniscope' and 'Technicolor' and the outdoor locations In Germany, Austria and England were attractive but the narrative was rather dull and too much time is given to the romance between the Stephen Boyd and Camilla Sparv characters. Their scenes needed fast forwarding. Am not sure anyway what the story was about and the two plot twists at the end could be seen a country mile away. I did enjoy some of the acting; Leo McKern as the spy master, Jane Merrow as his comely assistant, Geoffrey Bayldon as the boffin and a disappointingly hardly seen Michael Redgrave as Harris of Department K. At no point did the film become exciting or gripping.
Angel on the Amazon (1948)
"How can I thank you if I don't know who you are?"
The opening scenes in the jungle with the plane crash (great model work from the Lydecker Brothers) and the mysterious woman and the drumming that stops suddenly are good but when the film leaves the jungle for the city it becomes a strange if not absurd romantic plot about a woman who doesn't age due to a traumatic encounter with a panther. (!) With stronger casting it might have worked but main leads Vera Ralston and George Brent are their usual acting selves, that is boring. They have no spark between them. Constance Bennett as Dr. Karen Lawrence was much more interesting as was Brian Aherne as the forsaken husband though he isn't in it much. Odd but forgettable.
Psychotic (2012)
"What are you trying to escape?"
This took a bit of endurance to get through. The story got more preposterous as it went along with people falling into a medical machine of some kind and their eyes turning black (!) and a child who seems to be living in the basement of an asylum with no one ever noticing and many lines of psychological blather that didn't make sense. The characters range from dull to being hilariously over the top and their motivations were opaque. The actors weren't served well by the unfocused script, though the actors themselves were not convincing in any way. The ending of the film was left open suggesting a sequel but the movie didn't deserve one.
Assault on VA-33 (2021)
"Nothing ever happens in sleepy Oakside"
'Die Hard' in a veteran's hospital. And that's the plot in a nutshell. There are several poor things about this movie but mainly I was peeved at the waste of Michael Jai White and Mark Dacascos, who had insultingly thin roles. It would have been much better if they played hero and villain respectively. The fighting would have been more plausible and a face-off between them would have been awesome. Instead we have a bland main lead in Sean Patrick Flanery and an unthreatening chief villain in Weston Cage with a beard. Rob Van Dam stayed in a van ineffectively. There was plenty of shooting but mostly accompanied by unrealistic CGI blood. A low budget film with no frills and no thrills.
Dressed to Kill (1941)
"After I catch the murderer you can have a nervous breakdown if you like"
Private eye Michael Shayne is about to get married but instead gets side tracked by a double murder in an hotel next to a theatre. A lively and solid entry in the Michael Shayne series with Lloyd Nolan in good form as Shayne. The plot makes sense and it is enhanced by some cracking dialogue. The supporting actors include Henry Daniell as an actor under suspicion, Erwin Kalser as the hard of hearing theatre porter, Milton Parsons as the lugubrious red herring and William Demarest as the excitable police inspector; all of whom add to the entertainment. Director Eugene Forde keeps the momentum going nicely to make the 74 minutes most enjoyable.
Someone at the Door (1936)
"We are not trained to think in the police force, sir"
Narracott Manor is the location where a brother and sister try to organise a journalistic scam to make money and also where hidden loot from a robbery is sought by a group of villains. It has comedy that's not amusing and mystery that's not difficult to fathom. The title 'Someone At The Door' is apt as the poor door knocker bangs constantly. You can see it work as the stage play it derives from and by mainly taking place in one location but as a film it is just mediocre. Of the cast I liked bulky Noah Beery as the ambiguous Harry Capel, Edward Chapman as the unfriendly butler Price and Hermione Gingold in a brief but hilarious cameo as the gloomy Lizzy. Unfortunately Billy Milton as the brother Ronnie is exceedingly irritating. The movie was remade in 1950.
The Getaway (1994)
"I didn't think you could handle the truth"
A generally OK version of the 1972 original but it is too long and after the excitingly staged heist at the dog track and the early demise of the James Wood slimy villain character (Benyon) the film for me got less interesting and rather unbelievable. Baldwin (Doc) and Basinger (Carol) were not sympathetic characters and Michael Madsen's Rudy was way over the top to the point of undue hilarity. (The chicken and fries scene!) I appreciated more the side characters played by Jennifer Tilly, David Morse, Burton Gilliam and Philip Seymour Hoffman, the latter whom sadly had too little screen time. Mention should be made of Mark Isham's thrilling film score. And the cute kitten that shamefully didn't get an acting credit. The movie was OK.
Creature with the Atom Brain (1955)
"This will attract him like a magnet"
With a title like 'Creature With The Atom Brain' one presumed this would be a typical 1950's low budget affair which in some ways it is but I did find it surprisingly enjoyable. A gangster named Buchanan teams up with renegade scientist Stegg to use corpses with atomically animated brains to take revenge though it is more like a police procedural movie than a horror one. In the lead is Richard Denning as Dr. Chet Walker of the police laboratory and he is adequate. Much better is S. John Launer as Police Capt. Dave Harris, who is engaging and interesting. Am not sure how accurate the science is but that's not important really as the narrative is clear enough. Definitely worth a watch.
The Crazies (1973)
"The people of this town are my worry"
A biological weapon called 'Trixie' gets loose in an American town. The military try to contain the virus by quarantining the town. Things don't turn out well. The film could have done with a larger budget but it is still a fascinating film. The first half particularly is gripping as the chaos and panic grow. The fast editing helped the tension. You get a real sense as the movie progresses of things getting out of hand and not just the virus but society itself. On the acting side I especially liked Lloyd Hollar as Colonel Peckham and Richard France as Dr. Watts though the other cast members quitted themselves well. My only criticism is that perhaps the film is too long and the ending too drawn out. Otherwise a thoughtful and compelling movie.
Una Magnum Special per Tony Saitta (1976)
"Don't ask him. He's got a busy love life of his own."
Capt. Tony Saitta of the Ottawa police goes to Montreal to investigate the death of his young sister Louise. The story of the film winds this way and that but I was gripped all the way. The characters are interesting, even the minor ones' all played very well by a talented cast. The outdoor locations are excellent and effectively filmed in 'Panavision' The highlight of the movie is the stupendous car chase but there are other dramatic moments too as Saitta barges through obstacles on his way to uncover the murderer. Mention should also be made of the perfect music score by the prolific Armando Trovajoli. The element of the story where Saitta learns the truth about his sister and his growing disillusion is well handled. Good film.
Fire Twister (2015)
"Weasels don't get sucked into a jet engine"
A group of unlikeable people drive around in a car. They are pursued by another group of unlikeable people driving around in a van, led by a woman who likes to shoot cell phones. There is also a 'fire twister' going around Los Angeles eating energy. This is a very silly film. None of it makes sense, dramatically or scientifically. My main reaction was, this was written by a ten year old. Nobody stood out in the cast, some of whom could do with acting lessons. Being a low budget film one could forgive the poor CGI I suppose but the 'fire twister' never seemed threatening or awesome. In fact I began rooting for it by the end and rather regretted its demise. The film is a complete misfire.
Flashman (1967)
"I'm madly mod and you're old fashioned"
Superhero Flashman (aka Lord Alex Burman who seems to be a pal of Her Majesty The Queen) deals with counterfeiters, a wealthy Maharajah and villains who have stolen a serum that will make themselves invisible. Which hardly covers everything that happens. The story wanders around to little effect. Paolo Gozlino as Flashman runs around in a fancy dress costume which looks sillier every time he dons it. In support are a bland cast and Jack Ary as the comic Scotland Yard inspector Baxter is really annoying. He has the same burst of music when he always appears which is also annoying. In the film's favour it has colourful exterior locations and looks decent in 'Cromoscope' and 'Tecnostampa'. It's colourful but not that thrilling.
La guerra di Troia (1961)
"Your trickery and courage I envy most of all"
The city of Troy falls with the aid of some subterfuge and a wooden horse and Menelaus recovers his wife Helen from the selfish Paris, their elopement ten years earlier having caused the Trojan war to start. It is a well mounted film with great battle scenes and excellent interior and exterior sets all looking vivid in 'Eastmancolor' and 'Techniscope'. The cast are well chosen with not one unsuitable for their role. Stalwart Steve Reeves as Aeneas is the main star and does well. John Drew Barrymore as the wily Ulysses is fine too. The wooden horse itself is beautifully designed and looks quite plausible. The fall of Troy to flames is capably done and the ending where Aeneas leads his people from the doomed city holding his newly born son in his arms is most affecting. An entertaining spectacle.
Ercole al centro della Terra (1961)
"You will be as thin as the ropes that bind you!"
Hercules, Theseus and unfunny comic relief Telemachus go into Hades to steal a jewel that will break the spell on Princess Deianera cast by the evil Lico. The film directed by Mario Bava is a wonder to behold with atmospheric sets and lighting giving an other worldly feel, almost gothic. The plot might not be gripping but the visuals are certainly. As Hercules the mighty muscled man Reg Park is convincing as a mighty muscled man and the various ladies in the film are gorgeousness itself. Dominating the acting though is the great Christopher Lee as Lico, who does convey real menace. He should have had more screen time. Armando Trovajoli provides a satisfying film score. I enjoyed it.
Monsters of Man (2020)
"It's not tested, but I know it will work"
Four battle robots are dropped into the Golden Triangle to take out any drug suppliers. Caught up in the operation are a party of doctors and a retired Navy seal. Cue lots of shooting and screaming and escaping and pursuing. A lot of things happen but I found the film a chore to sit through, particularly as it was way too long at 131 minutes. None of the characters are likeable and the quality of the acting varies from adequate to unmemorable. The music score tried to be dramatic but just sounded bompastic and set one's teeth on edge. The only thing I really liked were the robots themselves, the CGI being excellent and the killing machines were most convincing to behold. I rooted for them.
Towards the end one of the robots (Number 4?) becomes self aware and has a debate about life. It reminded me of Ro-Man in 1953's 'Robot Monster' having his existential crisis. Hilarious.
Buchanan Rides Alone (1958)
"The town crier always knows something"
Tom Buchanan aiming for West Texas stops off in the town of Agry on the way and gets involved in the troubles of a young Mexican. One of several westerns actor Randolph Scott made with director Budd Boetticher and perhaps not one of the better ones. It has a narrative that wanders about to little effect. At the end a self confessed murderer is allowed to go free without any consequences. Mr. Scott as Buchanan is frankly a dull character. More entertaining are Peter Whitney as the cringing Amos, Barry Kelley as the corrupt sheriff Lew Agry and stalwart L. Q. Jones as the sherrif's sidekick Pecos Hill who changes his allegiance. It was a shame he was killed before the conclusion of the film. The movie, mostly shot on location, looks good in 'Columbia Color' courtesy of cinematographer Lucien Ballard.
It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955)
"I thought the Navy were equipped for every emergency"
A giant octopus aroused from the depths of the sea starts a rampage eventually ending up at San Francisco. There is a romantic sub-plot in the film that really slows it down but the mood perks every time the monster appears. Ray Harryhausen works wonders on a small budget in creating the stop motion creature. It is more animated than the cast, with leads Kenneth Tobey, Faith Domergue and Donald Curtis all being uninteresting. Though I thought Roy Engel as 'Control Room Officer Ordering Drop Nets' did well. Ms. Domergue's character Professor Lesley Joyce had potential but that was never fulfilled. Watching this movie one just marks time before Ray's skilfully realised creation pops up now and then.
Stonehenge Apocalypse (2010)
"Rest assured I will get the real story"
Am not sure what this film was about. It seemed to involve volcanoes hidden in ancient monuments, aliens terraforming the earth, lots of talk about electromagnetism, an end of the world cult, the antikythera mechanism and of course the titular stonehenge, which started moving around and zapping tourists. Though stonehenge itself seemed to have moved from flat Salisbury Plain to a different landscape. (Those hills!) The film gives the most un-English depiction of England ever in the history of cinema. The scientific gobbledygook uttered by the main characters never made sense and the actors themselves couldn't make any of it convincing. 'Stonehenge Apocalypse' is a great title, it's a shame the movie was a let-down.
Woodhenge is two miles north-east of Stonehenge. 'Woodhenge Apocalypse' as a sequel? Perhaps not.
Ercole alla conquista di Atlantide (1961)
"Who would dare to fight the Greeks?"
The mighty Hercules and his friends Androcles and Timoteo with his son Illo who is a stowaway on their ship sail off to look for a prophesied enemy who intends to invade the disputing Greek states. The film starts with a lively tavern brawl and finishes with the destruction of Atlantis. The early part of the film and the last half hour are very good though it loses momentum in the middle part. It is still an entertaining romp with some striking scenes like the robotic guards, the fires in the underground caverns, the attack on the city and Hercules using his amazing strength. The actors perform well and the sets, costumes and locations look lovely in 'Technicolour' and 'Super Technirama' no less. Reg Park as Hercules wanders through the film in an amiable way flexing his muscles. If you like peplum this hopefully will be one to please you. Certainly pleased me.
Leprechaun's Rage (2021)
"She's not that crazy. Is she?"
The leprechaun in this movie looked so silly that he never conveyed any menace or threat. He also talked with a distorted voice that made it difficult most of the time to understand what he was saying. I couldn't understand the plot either. It had something to do with gold and four leaf clovers and a pendant and an inheritance but nothing made sense. The cast are uniformly awful and bring no conviction to their roles. The director Louisa Warren also has a part but doesn't make an impression. The house location wasn't too bad, so there is that and the cinematography was competent. The main problem the film has is that it is far too bland and tedious. It was a sequel to 'Vengeance Of The Leprechaun' which I haven't seen and based on this viewing experience probably won't.
Yonggary (1999)
"Do I look stupid to you, Doctor?"
A two hundred million year old skeleton of a monster called Yonggary is revived by some zapping aliens and used by them to destroy humanity so they can conquer the planet. Or something like that. Cue lots of mayhem and destruction and buildings falling over. At one point Yonggary changes its mind and tries to protect the earth by fighting a new monster provided by the aliens, though am not sure where that one came from. The monsters are embodied by inferior CGI and it made one nostalgic for the days of a person in a rubber suit. Although the movie was an expensive South Korean production the makers opted for an Occidental cast, all of whom are out-acted by Yonggary. As kaiju movies go, it's rather underwhelming.
Blind Corner (1964)
"They weren't exactly behaving like strangers. You know what I mean?"
Produced by Mancunian Films who mainly produced comedy films popular in the north of England this is instead a good example of a crime film, possibly a film noir as it has a femme fatale played by seductive Barbara Shelley. Her character Anne knows what she wants and would do anything to get it, including persuading her erstwhile lover to murder her blind husband by pushing him off a balcony. Ms. Shelley is the best thing in the movie and overshadows the other members of the cast, though William Sylvester as the husband Paul in peril and Alex Davion as the artist Ricky play their roles well. The only thing that diffuses the tension of the movie are the two musical numbers by Ronnie Carroll. I enjoyed the film, particularly the last twenty minutes.