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War Horse (2011)
2/10
Bore Horse
4 May 2024
I'm surprised at the number of top ratings this move has scored here.

It was the ratings that drew me in but both my partner and I gave up at the halfway mark before we became diabetic. Every improbable cliche and schmaltzy scenario in the book. From the actions of the 'farming' family who acted like they wouldn't have enough sense to tend a backyard garden to the frightfully decent army officers. And the lack of sense from the family probably goes for the entire village that turns up in pouring rain to watch the brainiac son ploughing the rocks in a field. Would have thought that clearing the surface rockery would have been a good start, not to mention maybe spending more than the families entire fortune on a horse more suitable for the job. Germans with English accents and seemingly mainly bloodless battle scenes sunk the credibility. Though maybe Spielberg had his eye on a young Disney audience. Disappointing.
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2/10
They came from Beyond Belief
21 April 2024
Given it a two as it's so bad from all aspects that it's fun to watch. Problem is the movie takes itself far too seriously which is a shame. The soundtrack is totally unsuited to the action and the dialogue may be just ok for a script from a school play. Good fun to watch the brilliant scientist Farge or Farj or Fart or whatever running around with a deep fry chip basket on his head and wearing a pair of what looked like plastic welding goggles. Have to remember that if we ever get invaded by extra-terrestrials. The boss of whom was known as 'Master of the Moon'. (which conjured up visions of a bloke who'd perfected the art of 'down trou') Very colourful in his flowing robes, Shakespearean delivery and protected by flabby looking guards. Props and scenery were less than budget. The silent but deadly ray guns amounted to basically switching on a torch. While the bumble bee striped lift (elevator) looked to be there for the main pupose of giving the totally ineffectual factory guards somewhere to run in and out of like scenes from a Benny Hill episode. The Hero's vintage car had an engine that could be heard in the next county, though he insisted on continuously 'sneaking' up to the very edge of the alien patrolled factory in it. His love interest Lee looked rather unusual even before the aliens got to her and I was hoping the blonde 'Plan B' love interest at the service station was going to put in more of an appearnce. The whole plot got even more bizarre when the Master of the Moon was assured co-operation and assistance from the citizens of Earth...Yeah right. Stick to Cornwall and maybe just don't land somewhere like say, Texas.
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The Last Boy (2019)
1/10
Oh dear...
15 March 2024
Oh dear. Surely so many fake reviews to give the IMDB rating score that it has! I've given it a 1 to help with the balance but it probably maybe deserves a 3 for the scenery. The acting was not good. More expression was needed in the delivery from the actors. Good on the two kids for scoring a part in a movie but they need to do more than just take turns at reading lines. Any special affects were weak at best and the story line left great gaps in how this disaster occurred. The ending was confusing and the behaviour of the characters unrealistic. The arrival of the soldier (sniper?) promised the arrival of at least some interesting action but the promised sadly petered out. Remarkable how everyone's clothing remained pristine and the whole sequence of scenes were just a bit too sanitary and convenient for a world in chaos. And here's a tip for anyone who has a lifesaving battery driven electronic gadget... make sure you've always got some spare batteries.
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1/10
Tedious
8 March 2024
Afraid I gave up on this movie before the end. The constant wisecracking and tough talking of the actors became tedious and 'forced'. It was like they were desperately trying to portray stereotype cartoon gangster dialogue with every sentence they uttered. The totally unrealistic results of the beatings Gabriel Byrne received enforced the cartoon feeling. Being pounded in the head and body and thrown down a couple of flights of stairs would put anyone either in the morgue, hospital or out of action for weeks - Byrne's character can take all this and appear hours later with not a mark on him! Credability out the door! The machine gunning scene where Finney deals to his would be assasin was comical. Limitless ammo and the 'assasin' stands there upright doing a tap dance and waving his arms around whilst a mag load is emptied into him.
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Collateral (2018)
1/10
Collateral credability damage
20 February 2024
Why can't TV directors get their basic research right when they're portraying the military! UK servicemen and women do not go around saluting whilst capless. Add to the mix every pc scenario you can think of, lesbian vicars, gay bishops, downtrodden refugees, sexually harassed females etc. And of course in current TV form the lead investigator has to be female. Seems the UK police force must have a shortage of male officers if BBC crime dramas are anything to go by. I also don't think a killer who was so very meticulous in protecting themselves forensically and supposedly well trained would then leave an incriminating cartridge behind at the scene.
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1/10
When everything falls...or fails
18 January 2024
Gets one star for the scenery. Terrible acting. Fight scenes that were laughable. Plot lines and the actions of the cast were ridiculous. Those that were bludgeoned, shot or stabbed bounce back to life with more regularity than zombies. The scene towards the end has the blonde girl searching and wandering through a house in slow motion where the 'baddie' could come back at any time. If this was supposed to create tension it failed miserably and like the other actions in the movie made no sense at all. The pub barman was as unwelcoming and likeable as a dose of the flu. Which probably could be said for the entire cast. Not recommended viewing.
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Uncle John (2015)
9/10
An entertaining movie
9 November 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I enjoyed this movie. It may have rolled a bit slow for some but I think if you can do without car chases and explosions you'll enjoy it. The acting was good, especially 'Uncle John' who nailed the turmoil the character would have been feeling. He did this in an easy way without any over the top dramatics. The use of a duel plot was interesting and added a completely different vein to the movie and it worked. The filming locations were realistic as well and set the tone perfectly. All very plausible apart from the body disposals - You're going to need a lot more than a medium pile of timber fuel to get the sustained high temperatures necessary to completely incinerate a body to a few bone fragments. Still a worthwhile watch.
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1/10
Essential suspension of realism
9 October 2023
No idea how this movie gets such a high rating. Must surely be votes from cast or friends of cast. The 'hero' is some kind of superman who survives beatings, bone crunching traps, falling trees, submersion in freezing water, fights and falls. All this over several days and only eating a few ants and a bit of bark. Seems he's impervious to frostbite, injury and starvation. The Americans are portrayed as undisciplined juvenile amateurs. I wonder what actual members of the military would make of this movie. The plot becomes tedious very quickly. Give it a shot if you don't mind wasting time or shaking your head in disbelief.
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Somewhere Boy (2022)
7/10
Entertaining, but...
17 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I found the series entertaining enough to keep me watching. The acting was good, particularly by the two teenage cousins portrayed in the series. However I had a few sideways glances at the story plot. Inconceivable that a seemingly intelligent enough young adult would accept the premise that everything was gone outside his home and what was left was inhabited by monsters. Where was the father getting their food from if everything was gone? Shredded wheaties for breakfast seemed to be available! The boy was not detained in the house and had plenty of time on his hands to 'explore' further, The UK is not exactly sparsely populated and there would be plenty of evidence of life. (people, vehicles - land and air) One major plot hole I thought was the fact that the police took at face value that his father had committed suicide, even when they were confronted by a strange and manic 18yr old. The boys prints would have been all over the weapon and no doubt further investigation would have disclosed 'powder trace' on the boy. I'm sure questioning would have revealed more suspicion of what had occurred.
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Lyla (2023)
1/10
Don't bother
17 July 2023
Drawn out, confusing and I think maybe an attempt at 'artiness'?

The background music was discordant and annoying and as another has commented, the plot is so jumbled and piecemeal that there is no chance of suspense building. Just when you think something is going to happen in a sequence that makes sense it quickly switches to a totally irrelevant scene. It was as if the entire movie was a mass of unrelated scenes just cobbled together. Lasted about halfway in and then gave up. None of the characters appealed. I enjoy a movie that makes you think but unfortunately this one just wasted viewing time.
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3/10
Unbelievable Zone Lodge
5 July 2023
Warning: Spoilers
After reading the good reviews I was disappointed in this movie. Too many plot holes to mention them all but not least I cannot imagine a policeman and his patrol car on the lookout for a team of murderers 'going off radar' without the police swarming all over the place looking for their missing colleague. An unrealistic plot with a couple of the cast having seemingly superhuman qualities and able to defy all major injuries. It was turning into more of a comedy with the lead male leaping about all over the place even with bits of him severely damaged - he was more like the Black Knight in the Python movie! Seemed much longer than the advertised runtime.
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Soundproof (2023)
10/10
Excellent movie
4 July 2023
This was an excellent production that kept my interest from start to finish. The acting and all the characters were spot on and believable. There were some violent scenes in places but they were well done and I thought necessary for the plot development. The locations were made the most of too and added to the interest of the movie.

The only goof I detected was towards the end of the movie where Tom returns a salute. If he was ex British army he would not have saluted palm down - that being the navy salute. A minor fault.

I didn't recognise any of the cast but they all did a top job. Can only recommend as an entertaining and gripping watch.
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2/10
Needed Awakening
18 June 2023
Not sure how all the high ratings came about. I gave up on the movie about halfway in. Tedious and boring with the lead character seemingly only capable of speaking in a monotone. The number of scenes where he droned on about not getting enough out of life and talking about leaving the island had me wishing he would just pack his bag and leave the damn island - he wasn't the only one who needed a change of scenery by then. The interaction between him and his father seemed contrived, with first one having an elongated solo outburst or monologue and then the other. Even the fisherman's home somehow didn't quite suit. It was more like the dwelling of a suburban city office couple. I also doubted whether a knife dug out of the sand and lapped by the tide would still have so much obvious blood remaining on the blade after several days. Gave it 2 stars for the scenery shots.
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8/10
Excellent acting
22 May 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I enjoyed this movie mainly due to the acting of Redmayne, Sturridge and Collette. Though there were several plot holes - how would two schoolboys get access to a body in a morgue. Why were two (high profile personages) bodies in shallow graves at their residence not discovered on initial disappearance during police investigation. I also doubt a body in a graveyard would be reduced completely to bones in just 9 months. Still can't figure the necessity of the scene where the psychiatrist (Collette) arrives in the police car park like a bat out of hell and almost running over the two extras. The ending re' the true implication of Redmayne's character was 'vague' but I quite like a movie that leaves you with something to think about.
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3/10
Who killed reasoning
25 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Seeing the reviews here I thought this movie might be something special. Unfortunately not. A bunch of unstable morons go camping in the woods and end up running around killing each other and yelling hysterically for no real reason after one of them is found dead. So much for life long friendships. For supposedly intelligent adults who had their own businesses it took them all long enough to remember that they had a camera set up that recorded all the movements around camp and which could likely solve the mystery of what had happened during the night.

It took a female detective having a bad hair day to finally get to the truth with a few questions delivered in an aggressive manner that would have promoted zilch in the way of co-operation.
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3/10
Witless 3
19 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The first episode started off well enough but by episodes 3 and 4 the deterioration had set in. So many plot holes and unrealistic scenarios. I'd hardly think the police would have been so totally inept at protecting their 'star witness'. Crowds of villains frequently standing staring at her shop to intimidate her - the police could have grabbed the lot in one fell swoop if they'd actually been 'protecting' her.

Then her would be killer wandering about unseen in the small apartment in an estate high rise block as if it were a many roomed mansion. And making absolutely no attempt at ever concealing fingerprints or DNA.

The unrealistic conversation between the intended victim and the would be killer was cringeworthy. I was almost hoping he'd get it over with and stab her before she bored him and any viewers to death.

Then she clocks him once with a small plastic torch that puts him out for the count. Hit men ain't what they used to be.

Very predictable ending with too much drawn out psycho-babble. Too much focus on the main actress. Not recommended.
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Karen Pirie (2022– )
7/10
Entertaining but with flaws
10 October 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The acting was good but the plot stretched credibility in the final episode. I don't think a D/S would actually arrest a Superintendant for murder based on a paint scraping from his caravan that had not yet even been tested and shown to be the same as that on the murder victim. And I suspect that realistically, the scene where she suddenly and inexplicably (to those present surely) emerges from the house with criminal in tow and proceeds to arrest the Superintendant would have seen her carried off as having lost the plot. And why was she, as a police officer with the criminal's rifle in her custody and bringing out the criminal treated like a criminal herself and held at bay by the AOS and other officers?

The scene in the second episode where the student is dropped down an empty and deep well landing on rubble but consequently being completely mobile and suffering no injuries whatsoever was also stretching credibility. I'd have expected a couple of broken legs and a shattered pelvis at least!

The interactions between D/S Pirie and her superiors seemed to be a bit too casual or forthright on her part to be realistic. Maybe if Pirie had been cast a deal older than she was and around a bit longer it would have been more feasible.

I didn't find the sound track or accents hard to follow as some have commented.

I've given 7 for the entertainment and the cast making the most out of the plot they were given.
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High and Dry (1954)
8/10
Delightful
8 October 2022
Really enjoyed this movie which had me laughing out loud a few times. The acting was very good and everyone looked the part including the Maggie! Much of this was filmed on location in Islay and two separate ships were used in the filming. The Scottish coastal scenery enhanced the movie and the black and white filming set the era. A couple of comments made by posters that the accents were difficult to understand. I didn't find them difficult at all and the Highland lilts as well as the Gaelic speaking scenes added to the charm of the movie. Altogether a gentle and humorous film that passed the time well. Recommended.
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Stray (I) (2018)
2/10
Strayed too far
1 October 2022
The two stars are for the central Otago scenery. Unfortunately the plot and minimilist script gets nothing. Not sure what the movie was trying to achieve but the affect strayed far from realism with its loooong silent pauses and scenes going absolutely nowhere - would have helped if many of them had hit the cutting room floor. The two actors may have been good but this movie does not give them the chance to show it unless spending most of the time standing or sitting staring with no dialogue and a dismal expression counts. I stuck it out until the end hoping something interesting would happen but not to be.
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Eyewitness (1956)
8/10
Carry on witnessing
30 September 2022
Enjoyed this thriller though maybe for the wrong reasons. The plot was engaging enough but seemed to evolve slowly into a 'Carry on' type hospital farce with characters running hither and thither intertwined with a moustachioed and inept villain (all that was missing was a black cloak) along with a romantic and tasty night nurse. Very entertaining though and I found that the unintentional humour just added to the enjoyment.

Some of the patients seemed a bit too perky to be laid up in an emergency ward but their acting was good even if it was more suited to a comedy. Lots of improbable scenes but still worth a watch!
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The Fall (I) (2013–2016)
8/10
Well acted but some unrealistic scenarios
12 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Excellent acting from all the cast, Gillian Anderson in particular.

The flaws was the unrealistic slant on security throughout. I can't believe a violent serial killer would have been given the unfettered freedom to move about that Spector was given after capture and particularly after attacking police officers whilst in custody and then following that to be left alone with a vulnerable hospital psychiatrist. The hospital for the criminally insane had less security than a high school and I doubt violent disturbed killers would be given access to glasses and mirrors in their rooms. Anderson looked remarkedly undamaged after having been punched savagely in the face three times and kicked in the body several times. A beating like that would have laid Mike Tyson up for several days.

Still worth the watch, though the final two episodes with their many conversations of measured dialogue became a bit too slow apart from the violent scenes .
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Big Lies in a Small Town (2022 TV Movie)
2/10
Unrealistic
30 August 2022
Formula plot with unrealistic scenarios. Average to below average acting with no likeable characters. The mother (Rhonda Dent) is actually only 3yrs older than her supposed 18yr old daughter (Kristina Paras) and it showed.

Totally unrealistic scenes such as the mother being allowed to wander all over an active murder scene stepping around the forensics team and handling everything in sight as she wanted to call by and feed the victim's cat!

For someone who was so bonded and obsessed with her daughter, it took her an unnaturally long time to enquire after her daughter's welfare when she (the mother) finally gained consciousness in hospital.

Laughable ending.

Can't understand the high ratings.
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The Patrol (2013)
8/10
Deserves a higher rating average
29 August 2022
Overall a good film, though the constant griping by 'Smudge' could get tiresome. The locations and equipment were realistic enough. Though I wonder would you get a patrol made up of such a mix of regiments? (Para, Marine, TA) The accuracy of the supply drop in hostile territory didn't quite ring true with such a miss made in clear, still conditions. Sound quality came and went a bit at times and with the slang used would probably make it difficult for non Brit's to understand what was being said or meant at times. The writer was obviously making a statement about the quality of equipment that was supplied to front line Brit troops and I believe this was actually the case at the time when compared to the US units. Worth a watch though and a step up from 'gung ho' portrayals of combat.
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Beast (III) (2017)
9/10
Thought provoking
15 August 2022
This movie kept my attention throughout. Jessie Buckley was particularly good in the portrayal of her troubled character. The development of the plot was subtle with some unexpected but feasible shifts. Although the story was not at all the same, by the end of the movie I couldn't help thinking of Fred & Rose West and how dangerous it can be if two troubled people gravitate unreservedly together. Excellent acting and scenery.
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3/10
Six years from credibility
11 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Started off promising but descended into farce. The plot ridiculous and full of holes.

To list just a few... Izzard (Miller) hopelessly miscast, can apparently outrun anyone over vast open distances given a few steps lead.

A uniformed police sergeant who would have dismally failed the height requirements for a Brit policeman in 1939. Couldn't they get a taller actor for the part?

Opening scenes, a British spy operating in a British based school is sprung and immediately panics hysterically - all he had to do was wander off back to the safety of Whitehall, it wasn't as if he was in enemy territory.

Why would a Brit government spy agency on the verge of preparation for war attach so much importance to preventing a class of German schoolgirls from returning to Germany? Would they divulge the secrets of British education?

Rule 1 when lining up to mark a large aeroplanes landing strip: Ensure the two lines of schoolgirls you use are wider apart than the width of the 'plane.

A strangely convenient telephone box on a moor in the middle of nowhere had no aerial connecting telephone wires.

Ridiculous end scenes involving pistols and their capability. The German schoolmistress would have been better off shooting herself with her weapon - she would have been hanged for the murder she had committed anyhow.

Judi Dench must have been doing Izzard a favour. Can't think why she would attach herself to such a movie.

3 stars for the scenery, costumes and revealing what 'Sieg Heil' means.
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