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Reviews
Sinbad of the Seven Seas (1989)
Cable should be horsewhipped for dragging this one out!
I have not seen such BAD acting ever before in my life and that includes high school production plays! This movie breaks all records in casting such a number of bad actors in one film. The plot was swiss cheese holey. The budget clearly went mostly in costumes and location, but not one centavo was spent on hiring a writer or an acting coach and the director of this turkey must have been indisposed! Lou Ferrigno tried to do his best impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger style one-liners but it quickly became apparent why he had no coherent lines in his series The Hulk! The character Jaffar was even worse, second only to the Viking and Greek cook and the mongoloid looking drawf side-kick. This movie was so bad, that it was a prime target for the cancelled show Mystery Science Theater. Too bad it was passed over. Overall, I feel privileged to have viewed this movie because I laughed repeatedly at how horrendous it was! A must see if equipped with a bottle of good chardonnay!
Hav Plenty (1998)
A delectable tidbit to consume without guilt
This movie is so compelling. I am mesmerized by it to the degree that almost every time it airs I watch it. This felt familiar and realistic. Low budget but sparkling with charm and wit. I enjoyed the characters and the pacing especially. It was like eating an Eskimo pie on a summer's day when you have absolutely nothing to do but enjoy it!
The Flame Is Love (1979)
Horrid but classic Timothy Dalton
I've been a fan of Tim Dalton forever - and I knew what type of films he normally chooses to appear in, so I watched The Flame is Love prepared to laugh my ass off. I wasn't disappointed, from the first overdone close up of bad art (I suppose this cut production costs) to the cheesy to the extreme narrator who was more dramatic than any of the actors in this flick. Linda Purl, is also a fave of mine, entirely representative of the 70's - overacting on one note - she has one response - wide eyed innocence - who's character was so helpless and indecisive you wanted to slap her. But the best charm of this flick (c'mon the term movie is too good for this adaptation of a Barbara Cartland novel) was the animal head dinner and the satanic ceremony in which Timothy Dalton presided in his hammy best, his nefarious plot to sacrifice Linda's purity and life to swap her soul with a cat! The love interest - one forgets his name - a completely forgettable actor with eyebrows like catepillars, actually took this movie too serious and any screen time where he appeared made the flick descend into the very bowels of hell. Overall, I'd suggest with shots of tequila and very low expectations, and of course a undying devotion to the acting craft of Timothy Dalton (which will make one endure almost anything) - The Flame is Love is a funny while you're really sick type of flick to see!