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Reviews
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)
hideous, absolutely hideous
and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then ,and then, YOU CHOADS THINK THIS IS FUNNY! This is a horrible "comedy" that appeals only to slack-jawed yokels and idiots. Sad, so sad, that this movie appeals to someone. May god save their souls. If I could give this movie a 0, I would. 1/10
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
hollywood proves any story can be great with blood and gore
Pretty cool movie. Extreamely queer at parts, but these parts were short. The headless horseman kicked butt, weilding his cool sword in his left and an axe in the other. Though the plot was flakey, I thought it was very good that they didn't entirly butcher the original sleepy hollow legend. but adding blood, suspence, and creepiness definetly made it a masterpiece. 8/10
Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983)
Definetly the best of the entire series
Got more action than the first one, bigger space battles than the second, and as for the new one, well, I won't even mention that freak show. First of all, this movie has one of the greatest space battles of all time. The use of models is so much better than special effects becasue they are so much more real. Though kin of a silly ending, the ewoks were great, even though in reality, their arrows wouldn't go threw the stromtroopers armor, and they would be massacred. Excellent, one of the best movies of all time! 10/10
Judge Dredd (1995)
I am.....The law
Just a great movie. There's nothing else to saw about it. You got sylvester shootin' dudes and things blowing up, I mean, what else could you ask for. Of course the plot sucks, but what do you expect from a movie based on a comic book. A must see. 8/10
Carnosaur (1993)
rrrrriiiiiiiggggggghhhhhhhtttttt
As solid as swiss cheese, as scary as Toy Story, as dumb as "Dude, Where's my Car", as cheesy as "godzilla versus the ice gnomes" and as about as confusing as the people who liked it. HOW ON EARTH COULD THIS MOVIE MAKE MONEY!! I guess suckkers like me rented it for the cool cover, and ended up blowing chunks EVERYWHERE! Why were the blood spots over the victims before they were even bitten? Why couldn't they get more realistic dinosaurs? ANd the mother of ALL questions is WHY ON THis #!%^@* EARTH ARE THERE SEQUELS!!!
Army of Darkness (1992)
Simply one of the coolest films ever made
The sheer dumbness and raw carnage in this movie mak it one of the greatest movies ever made. The reason it did so badly economically is that stupid people didn't put aside the okay special effects. They wern' that bad, and surprizingly, the plot was much better than evil dead and evil dead 2. I can't imagine how much better this movie is on director's cut, and I desperately need to see that version. Anyone who doesn't like this is too much of a prick and doesn't want to be seen watching a movie that didn't cost under 100 millin dollars.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
horrible plot, horrible acting, great fun!
Even though this movie was very bogus and queer, it wasn't all that bad. I loved people getting hacked apart by men with rabies! I figure, any movie can be saved if it has a bunch of freaks with guns and sharp objects hacking each others heads off and having great fun doing it. The plot was bad however, and ice cube had to be given a monosyllabic vocabulary so he could memorize his lines. 6/10 or 3/5