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Reviews
Cocaine Bear (2023)
I do not trust Elizabeth Banks as a director
She takes light and breezily entertaining properties, like Pitch Perfect and Charlies Angels and somehow makes the whole thing unbearably hacky. I figured how could you ruin this concept about a bear rampaging on cocaine? Well, I found out. You hire Elizabeth Banks to direct it. She does inject some of the goofy self awareness present in the Wet Hot American Summer properties however, it's a partial lift and not exactly appropriate for this material overall. The writer churned out a quality script for this genre trying to make it as consistently entertaining page to page as possible.
The movie feels rote from the beggining music cue and the dancing idiot who dies accidentally hitting his head on a bar then falling to his death setting up the events of the story. The whole sequence is mismanaged and cheap. Pretty much what most of the movie feels like. It made me wonder why they couldn't get David Wain or Jake Kasdan to make this so much better. If you're looking for a female director to add to that list I imagine just about any female director who isn't primarily an actress could servicably direct this movie much better than it is.
Hannah Hoekstra is a able comedienne? Who knew? I certainly didn't after her sexually gritty navel gazing coming of age performance in Hemel. She is delightfully dumb in the short amount of film she performs in this movie. That is the apex and the rest is traces of inspiration. Everyone else feels wasted by being in this movie. The bear effects are good and provide the other star for my review.
I hope Banks never gets another directing gig. If she does I would never intentionally watch it knowing she directed it. What I'm saying may seem harsh however, this is her third feature and if anything it's the easiest to do well because of the script being so good and able to be accomplished on a small budget, etc. I was aware every moment of this movie how she was dropping the ball and how it could've been much better, a classic even. Maybe she has a future as a non-creative producer. Who knows.
Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (2023)
The worst thing a movie can be at the theater is boring
This film qualifies. The Antman and Wasp effects are handled routinely now so the superhero aspects aren't significant. The film has several quiet scenes of dialogue that are so drama and action free (no music either) they put you to sleep.
The best part of this movie is the end credits visual effects along with the theme score. It prepares you for the action film that never happened. In my mind I was thinking of how the film utterly failed to deliver. I don't want to say this because I like most of the cast and parts of the first two movies but, this movie was bad and wastes an opportunity to entertain. It also wasted an opportunity to introduce Jonathan Majors part to a wider audience in an effective way. The way this movie utilized the end title sequences was bad in this exact regard.
Smokin' Aces (2006)
I would call this movie bad.
It's not bad because everything in it is bad. It's bad because it shows the full product from a writer director who doesn't know how to separate the wheat from the chaff in an overstuffed stylistic crime intrigue. Joe Carnahan loses sight of a solid plot and execution in favor of flash and attitude. In my opinion it doesn't work at all. This movie wants to be a Guy Ritchie type man's man film with narration over montages and everything seeming so cool or tough with slick music, camerawork, and editing.
Ritchie could make those films until he dies and continue doing them very well. Carnahan can not. I like Carnahan, especially the most recent film of his that I've seen, Copshop. His films offer a different variety of self aware chaos than anyone I've seen which is probably why I dislike this film so much. It tries too hard and in the wrong way to get over with the audience instead of actually being clever, well executed, or even enjoyable. The main issue and sticking point to the film is that every character has an intro as if it were a novel starting from the beginning throughout. It becomes nauseating. The style over substance is because the actual plot isn't substantial and they must introduce each character to pad the runtime and increase the intrigue. In the end, there is no intrigue.
Knock at the Cabin (2023)
The plot is the straightest of lines.
Many movies have simple plots in concept but, not in construction. This movie is simple in both and that is why I find it so forgetable despite a potentially interesting premise.
There is nothing profound about this faux religious apocalyptic thriller. Spoilers are coming so don't read beyond this if knowing is a problem for you. A gay male couple and their adopted daughter are in the woods at their cabin on vacation when they are visited by four random people who claim to have seen the same apocalyptic visions and must present a sacrificial dilemma in order to prevent the world from ending.
The family must choose and kill the loved one themselves. If they don't, different plagues will happen culminating in the apocalypse. So, they are presented with the question 4 times and each time they refuse one person will die and a plague released. They still have a few minutes before the world burns to save what's left with the sacrifice...and they do.
Not much is well explained even though we get quite a bit of backstory of the gay couple who one half believes the whole thing to be a hoax and discriminatory at that as one of the invading party was the offender who assault and battered him at a bar years ago. Even though not much is explained, there isn't much doubt given to the claims from the films perspective. The film believes it to be true and telegraphs this in various ways which is one way this film diverges from the source material. It's all much ado about nothing. I think Shyamalan should retire if he's gonna out hackneyed films like this.
I can imagine a much better treatment of the subject matter from other directors. I still wouldn't care for the premise because it panders to the Bible but, I could appreciate the execution.
The Old Way (2023)
An almost servicable plainly shot Western
The writer churned out a lesser script here. There's decent talent in front of the camera and somehow it's still not clicking with the audience. I wouldn't have cared about how basic the camera work was if the product on screen was good.
2 things: the director should never do anything above a second unit job again & Nick Searcy compounds many issues with the script in his performance. It's already too laconic in dialogue & style that his role grinds the movie to a sentimental halt each time (3 total) he appears. It felt emotionally stunted overall with hints of life that never develop fully. Part of this is the direction, part script, and partly Searcy being a career bit performer who isn't strong enough to carry the role. The film isn't that long and it feels like an eternity waiting for him to finish. In addition he says inappropriate things and is generally uncouth despite trying to appear sensitive. He underlines just how clunky the plot is handled and how the character might have been an interesting piece in a better movie better performed.
I don't know how Cage knows anyone related to this but, he's struggling with it a bit here. It's not for lack of talent or effort either. The character is simply off and in a script that meanders everytime it should move briskly. The lead is never let loose after the opening scene and it's unclear what the movie is actually about, what the entertainment goal is. It definitely fails as an action thriller in a Western framing, or as a palatable family western film.
It also doesn't earn the emotional upheaval it purports to show. Someone is killed in the early portion of this movie off screen and the surrounding actions are just not right. The death seemed unlikely based on what was shown and the reaction afterward undercuts any emotion from the character or film. The audience is detached from a visceral experience and the juxtaposition of how the child character would feel which leads into how her being neurodivergent is grossly mishandled. The child actress has a career in the industry if she wants it. She's good and works well with Cage but, this movie is just poorly made and written.
This is not a good movie. I like bare bones films using only what is necessary to convey the story due to budget, time, etc. I know the cinematographer is talented and most of the cast are notable performers. It just doesn't come across well at all. It does have enough to warrant a single watch. I wanted to see Cage in a western revenge story and it nominally provides that. I hope Butchers Crossing is significantly better.