Change Your Image
pleasenok
Reviews
Harlan Coben's Shelter (2023)
Troubled Tovah Tanks TV show
Tovah Feldshue is a difficult actress to watch in even the best productions, in this it is downright torturous. Her grating voice and hag-like expressions don't deliver the horror and disgust the producers were hoping for but instead genuine horror and disgust. The show would have been ok with someone like Sean Young or Linda Hamilton but that wasn't the case. The young actors seem ok but who knows. Breathing in the stench of all that rotting ham might have fogged their minds , and their talent. All in all this had potential but due to a couple of peculiar casting choices the whole thing comes off as amateur hour.
Life on Our Planet (2023)
What a joke
This is not what happened. More revisionist history from supposed entertainers who are now trying to teach Netflix viewership the history of life on this planet? Is this some sort of sick joke? Spielberg is just trying to milk the dinosaurs for as much money as he can since he's already exploited the Jewish people, destroyed the world's shark population and and bored everyone to death with his preaching. This is boring television and is bad even by Netflix standards. Nothing Spielberg has done has been accurate historically and this is no exception - pure fiction but dressed up as edutainment television. Don't waste your time.
Reptile (2023)
Who wrote this?
Reptile is a tedious and uninspiring attempt to mimic the success of shows like "True Detective." From the very beginning, it's clear that this crime drama is a poor imitation, lacking the depth and intrigue that made the latter a hit. The plot plods along at a snail's pace, failing to maintain any semblance of suspense or mystery.
The characters are unengaging and their development is lackluster at best. Their interactions feel contrived, and it's challenging to invest in their fates. Unlike "True Detective," which expertly balanced complex characters and a gripping storyline, "Reptile" falls flat.
The film's attempt to explore dark themes and criminal investigations is a pale shadow of what's been done before. It feels like a half-hearted, derivative attempt to cash in on the success of a superior show, leaving audiences with a sense of disappointment and boredom.
Holiday Harmony (2022)
Where did they find all those talented kids??
I was about to cancel HBO max but now I'm keeping it for another year! I had tried watching a few of these types of movies (low budget rom coms) on netflix and most were just recycled trash with some familiar faces making appearances. When I saw this pop on the max, i figured it was just more of the same. But I LOVE LOVE LOVE Brooke Sheilds so I gave this a try. Brooke was amazing and beautiful as always. But what really stood out were the script (faster paced and more "alive" than most rom coms) and the kids. Usually kids in these movies don't have much talent. At best they are usually cute and likeable. But these kids were cute, likeable AND talented? The movie deserves an award for that. Add in the lead's amazing voice and you've got a fun movie for the holiday season. Thanks HBO!
The Fabelmans (2022)
Captain Cringe's Corny Convo
Some of the worst most cheese dialogue ever. Movies happen to people who can make them. Give me a break. This just isn't an interesting story and is basically an admission that Hollywood has completely thrown in the towel on n telling new stories. Spielberg will buy himself another Oscar nomination and we'll have to endure articles about this fecal Fellini until after awards season but this is not a good movie and not up to spielberg canon. If you want good vintage Spielberg check out 1941, always, war of the worlds, Jurassic park 3, jaws 2, war horse, showgirls or swept away or any one of his early greats. His new stuff is self indulgent tripe and the box office numbers prove it.
Please retire.
To Die For (2022)
Hahahahahaha
This is so unbelievably bad and rote and predictable and downright bad it's really funny. This is easy to dismiss but I predict to die for will be huge on Tubi or one of the streamers as a camp comedy like showgirls or schindlers list. I can't go into too much of the story because no spoilers and also because there is no story really. The patheticness of this movie is what's entertaining but sadly it sets whitemerica back quite a bit. Once this is out on a discount poor man's streamer ior loaded up to YouTube it's worth a look. But don't buy it at these prices. It's not worth much more than your time.