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RenegadePhoenix
*The Goonies,*
Titan A.E., the Indiana Jones Trilogy, Rudy, and Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring and The Two Towers, and my favorite actor is Sean Astin.
Reviews
Hulk (2003)
Awful
That's basically all I can think of to say... The Hulk was incredibly disappointing. Where Spiderman had plot, deep characters and a likeable protagonist, Hulk has bad SFX and no storyline at all, and the "good guy?" I saw nothing but an irritating growling chunk of greenness. It's as if the script-writers all sat down to have a meeting and said "Ok, we have a giant green man. What should happen? Anything goes, guys, we have two hours to fill." I think the only people who will like this movie are the die-hard Hulk comics readers, and possibly Special-Effects junkies. If you're looking for plot, real characters, or even a remotely entertaining film, chances are, you won't find it here.
Oh yeah, and what on earth was up with the opening credits? Chopping up a starfish, gassing monkeys, exploding frogs... my word, whose idea was that? I would say don't bring kids to this movie (WAY too scary) but if you do, DON'T let them watch the opening sequence.
Big Daddy (1999)
"Hello, I'm Scuba Sam."
When I first saw the ads for Big Daddy on TV, I just rolled my eyes, thinking "Oh, yeah, it's just another stupid Sandler movie... Whatever." I just saw it the other day, and it was nothing like what I expected. True, there was some typical Sandler crudeness, and the same old guest cameos, but the story is very good.
(Possible spoilers...)
Sonny (Sandler) is a good-for-nothing bum who doesn't have a job and lives off the stock earnings from a settlement he got when a taxicab ran over his foot a few years ago. Out of the blue, a little kid named Julian gets dumped on his doorstep. The situations that follow are funny, cute, and very amusing!
The chemistry between these two is SO cute. Some of the best parts come from the fact that Sonny has no idea how to deal with children. When Julian throws up or pees on the floor, all Sonny does is spread newspaper over the 'accident' and leave it there. Then there's Sonny's makeshift "nightlight" for Julian (a neon "LIVE NUDES" marquee,) Julian's new name, and the bath. ("Why do I hafta wear a swimsuit?" "Well, Julian, I don't know the rules about adults and kids and the naked and... just sit down...")
There were a few too many "Hooters" references for my liking, but they weren't enough to detract from the Sonny/Julian story. The circumstances surrounding Julian's "But I wipe my own *ss!" exclamations made me cry, but the court scene was a little too preachy. ("Hello, Dad?")
All in all, I wouldn't take this on a baby-sitting job or ask my younger siblings to watch it, but it's a very good movie to rent and watch with friends, a date, or just to feel good. I say 9/10 stars!
Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie (2002)
"Sunday Morning Values, Saturday Morning Fun."
Jonah is the first full-length movie by Big Idea, and it's sort of obvious. Some of the characters don't look quite as good as they could, and halfway through the movie Jonah turns colors from green to a dusty blue, but that could have been the theater. All in all, it's a very cute movie, with decent songs and a pretty good plotline. However, I think that Mike & Phil could have just left this at the usual 30 minute length of most of their movies, since Jonah overall just feels long. About 3/4 of the way through, I was ready to go. 7/10 stars :)
The Goonies (1985)
The best movie ever!
Warning: If you haven't seen this movie, (And I advise you to :) I might give away little details about it, so be forewarned.
The Goonies is by far my favorite movie of all time. I remember seeing it for the first time at my cousin's house on T.V. when we were eight. Then, it was just a funny movie that had a funny fat kid, some other funny kids, and a funny-looking guy who yelled funny stuff. Now, it's definitely the best.
It's about 4 boys (Mikey, [who was always my favorite,] Data, Mouth, and Chunk) who are about to be separated because their housing development is going to be torn down to make room for a snotty country club golf course (headed by none other than the boys' least favorite person's father)The boys go up in the attic and find a treasure map. Thinking that they might be able to find the treasure and be able to "save to goon docks," they set off on what will be the biggest Goonie adventure they've ever done!
It's rated PG, although there's an awful lot of swearing. No "f-words", but they say "shit" about every other sentance, and "damn" occasionally, so if you're gonna watch this with younger kids, think about it first. In all, I rate it a definite 10, for hilarious mishaps, fun quotes, great fun, and 'the funny fat kid'. :) (It's in English, by the way.)
"...con las cucarachas, por DOS semanas, sin agua y sin comeda!" - Mouth, in the "Translate into Spanish for Rosalita" scene