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knightsend2k1
Reviews
Death Warrant (1990)
Good Beat Em Up Cop Flick
Most people just don't understand movies.There are different movie genres,and none can really be compared to the other.Take this movie for instance - it's not " Hamlet " nor is it " Jason Goes To Manhattan ".Not to be crass,but Van Damme makes movies not for artistic value,he makes movies you can pop into your VCR or DVD Player when you feel like kicking someones ass.Think of his movies as " Primal Drama ". What's " Primal Drama ",you might ask ? It's movies that are made to appease your inner beast.Just as you might feel like screaming at someone, or breaking a chair over someone's head,you reach for a Van Damme or Stallone movie instead.Somehow,watching the hero in these simplistic displays of eccentric unbelievable melodrama makes life a little easier.Watch an emotional display of comic brutality, and somehow everything's alright again.Look at Van Damme's movies the same way you did Comic Books and you'll understand.Just like Comic Books,Van Damme movies will always have a place in the heart of the Alpha Male.Lowbrow for sure,fun nonetheless. ***** 7 out of 10 *****
The Cure (1995)
A Movie That Will Tug At Your Heart Strings
It's hard to put into words just how wonderful this movie is.Do you know those old clichés where people say " It will make you laugh,it will make you cry ? " Well,this movie will.This movie is about friendship,and the way we deal with difficulties that arise in life to the people we love and cherish.As I watched this movie, I found it deeply disturbing that as human beings we could be so loving and so cruel at the same time.I found myself wanting to know what makes one man good enough to judge another ? As a Christian,I stand for what I believe,but try not to judge my fellow man for what mistakes they might have made to put them in any given particular situation.Although I find homosexuality wrong,I find it even more sickening that my fellow man could put themselves in such a mythically high position to damn each other.Would Christ have done this ? I think not.
I also find it difficult to believe that my fellow man could judge a child,an innocent,as being guilty of anything whatsoever.There used to be a time when I wondered aloud to the Almighty why a child would have to go through such a hardship.My answer was much more simple than I could have ever known.The miracle that could have resulted in a cure could never equal the miracle that resulted from the way the individual was treated.Man learns by example,and what more could make a man humble than to see a child be so loving and selfless ? Truly what could equal a miracle that makes a man challenge his arrogantly bigoted behavior ? It just pains me as a human being that it would take something so dramatic to elicit such an emotional response. May God Bless All that watch this movie,and may it open all our eyes and hearts a little more.
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003)
Wow,what an overblown complete mess of a movie.
This is art ? Give me a break.If QT wanted to accomplish something remotely close to what I feel he was trying to do he should have viewed the old " Man Without a Name " trilogy.As it is,this movie is pretty damn horrible.The scenes jump around like an A.D.D. MTV Rap Video geared to fans of old " chop socky movies " with alot of gore.The main characters arent even likable.Uma Thurman as an ex-hitman ? Lordy,that's not even CLOSE enough to be CONSIDERED palatable.The three things I feel really killed this movie were as follows : 1 - Hitmen are not the most emotionally exorbitant people in the world.If someone did plan revenge on a fellow colleague the whole world wouldnt know about it until they were already stone cold dead.It's not believable that a professional killer would change tactics REGARDLESS of what happened to him/her.Not too logical or efficient. 2 - There is no way in hell anyone outside of Japanese heritage would EVER run the Yakuza.Period.ESPECIALLY a woman..unless there was an emergency,as when Shindo's ane-san ( his wife ) took over for him while he was in jail. This is as ridiculous as when Daredevil featured a Black man as the Kingpin of Crime.This isnt a racial statement people,it's just that the criminal element doesnt mix race or gender very well.It's kind of like a white guy running a Jamaican Drug cartel.Never happen on this planet....3- She sat in a guy's car ( the guy she killed ) for 13 hours yet the cops didnt come outside to look at the car after they found the two bodies ? Sure,sure,and I'm the King of England.Give me a break.How this bad of a movie could crack the top 100 blows the mind.Then again,considering the lack of widespread intelligence in the world it shouldnt surprise me.Some much for morality and good taste.The difference between Kung Pow and this movie ? Kung Pow was INTENTIONALLY funny.... *** out of Ten.Poor Movie,view at your own risk.
Escape from New York (1981)
A Sci-Fi Classic.
I'll make this short : This is one of the best Sci Fi movies ever made..Dont let the low special effect count fool you.The story more than makes up for it,and adds to the overall charm.Its very much like other sci-fi classics ; for example," Trancers, " and " The Road Warrior "....original.It's funny to see how technology has made a lot of film makers creatively lazy.Carpenter made this movie during a time when every little special effect had to be thought out.No " changing your mind and erasing the digital effects " here.The main character is a man known as Snake,played very low key by Kurt Russell.This is my personal favorite movie with Mr.Russell,although " The Thing " runs a close second.If you enjoy Post Apocalyptic Science Fiction,watch it,you wont regret it.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Not bad for what it is,but it's sure as hell not the comic
As a movie about a amalgam of literary characters it plays well,but dont expect more than your typical chop socky super heroics.Could it have been better ? No doubt,but it could also have been as bad as The Hulk.
Career Opportunities (1991)
Hilarious,goofy,and altogether likable movie.John Hughes hits a home run !
Very funny movie about a simple minded young man who's simply afraid to move out of his parents house because he doesnt want to be alone.To make up for his lack of an interesting life, he constantly lies to the only people who he can let his imaginative frustrations run wild with - the neighborhood kids,who idolize him.Does he realize this ? Of course not ! Will he ever learn ? ....Maybe.. Frank Whaley is hilarious as the inept but good hearted Jim Dodge,delusional liar and big dreamer.Jennifer Connelly is absolutely beautiful as the rich,understood Josie McClellan.John Hughes is brilliant once again,and this smart quirky story shows he truly understands what it was like to be young.Those who were in their twenties in the nineties will laugh their head off ( as well as wish they were and were not Jim Dodge at different points in the movie. ) If you liked Mannequin you should get a kick out of this as well.
The Getaway (2002)
***** Spoilers ****** This game is an exercise in frustration.
Let's see,we have a rated " R " plot and story set in a gangster style setting.Foul language abounds ( as to be expected in such an adult tale ),and you basically walk ( and drive ) around shooting people ( cops,bad guys,etc ) while you complete missions you're forced to do. Well,the story is decent,as is the voice acting.The characters are interesting, ( in a Guy Ritchie sort of way )and it has good direction..so what's wrong ? THE CONTROL.THE A.I. Basically it's like this : When you jack a car ( to lose the cops ),and nobody else is around, somebody tell me exactly how in the hell they know whatever car you are driving ?? Are they psychic ? Did they hire the amazing Ms. Cleo ? Who knows......but I'll tell you one thing,it's freaking irritating to be driving down the road ( hell,ANY road ! ) and have the cops ram you in whatever vehicle you could possibly get ! Other problems are as follows : Your partner ( later in the game ) is as dumb as a bag of hammers.In a hurry ? Car wrecked ? Want to hurry up and jack another car ? Nope.Why ? Because she wants to kill EVERYBODY before she'll get her sorry butt in the stupid car ! What's worse is when she just stands there like a Test Crash Dummy until you line the car up just right.What bozo decided THAT was a good idea ? I really could go on and on about how good it looks and sounds,( but how crappy it plays ) but I believe you people get the point.This game is as irritating as " Stuntman " ....( those of you who have played that little ditty understand now dont you ? )Unless you really want to beat your head in the wall and scream profanities more vulgar than those found in the game ( and there are some doozies let me tell you ALL the time )GET AWAY from " The Getaway " .My Lord man,this game makes Enter The Matrix look like a freaking masterpiece ! Ugh.
X2 (2003)
...and I thought the first one was a comic book milestone !!
This is what a Superhero movie should be.Brilliant cast,great costumes,great musical score,great direction...Do you get the idea I really liked this movie ? Now I do have some small problems,like Colossus not having a Russian accent,Wolverine is too tall,the actress that plays Jean Grey is too old for the part...BUT..those are minor.They didnt affect my ability to enjoy the movie one bit.If you like Comic Book movies that rock here is the new standard.Let's hope Spider-Man 2 is this good.
Daredevil (2003)
Some things right,some things wrong,still enjoyable.
Let's talk about what went right.I really didnt expect Affleck to be any good.I was wrong..He did a pretty good imitation of Daredevil as well as Matthew Murdock.I especially liked how he apparently took the time to present Daredevil's attitude as constantly evolving.Murdock has always been a character shown in the comics as a man who adapts to any situation.Nicely done here.It was also nice to show he was willing to take his lumps.Loved the sleep deprivation tank too.Love the Daredevil costume,the presentation of his Radar Sense,the fight scenes,and the music.I really loved how Bullseye was presented.A complete maniac.Loved it to pieces.Hated the costume change though.Is it me or didnt he end up looking like a deranged George Michael ?? Here is what I had a MAJOR problems with : # 1 - Why was Kingpin changed from a massive white Sumo type to a black Hip Hop thug ?!?! Is this The Kingpin or a bad Biggie Smalls imitator ?? Michael Clark Duncan as The Kingpin ? What the hell were you smoking people ??!! What's next, a white Black Panther ? Leave the characters exactly the way they were MEANT to be.# 2 - Jennifer Garner was a good choice to play Elektra,so why dress her up in black leather ? They should have let her wear the traditional red outfit found in the comics.Is there some fetish in hollywood with leather in comic movies these days or what ? # 3 - Bullseye's scar....you have GOT to be kidding me.Now if they would have shown him actually put the scar there in the movie to showcase his dementia MAYBE that would have worked...but they didnt.It looked ridiculous. and finally # 4 - Where was the courtroom drama we were promised ? Let me get this straight,here we have a movie about a superhero lawyer....and he's barely seen in the courtroom ??? Go figure.Ah, well.What's done is done.It could have been worse,and it could have been better.It's enjoyable,heck I bought the DVD....but I still cant imagine Duncan as The Kingpin.Some thug,yeah,but the Kingpin ? Sorry,you've lost me there boys.
Hulk (2003)
What a complete train wreck.
What happened here ? I'll tell you what happened here : Ang Lee.Action Fans do not want some artsy fartsy rendition of Pop Americana.Ang Lee would be fine if you want something in the likes of The Ice Storm,but for Hulk he just sucks.Most of the people I have talked to that have seen this have the same problems,and are as follows : # 1 - Hulk Dogs.Hulk Dogs ??? Okay I can live with that......but a Poodle ? What genius thought of that idea ? # 2 - Bruce Banner's Dad was a sick, twisted,murdering individual....not a sick,twisted,murdering super villain.Who's brilliant idea was THAT one I wonder ? # 3 - Transitions every few seconds for no apparent reason.Hey Ang,you're making a movie about a comic,not a movie INTO a comic ! Boy did those grate on my nerves.... # 4 - The apparent lack of any coherent direction.Someone tell me exactly where the direction was in this picture ??? This movie presented itself as a collage of unfinished ideas slapped together with all the precision of a first year film student.Horrible. # 5 - The ending.The worst ending I have ever seen in a superhero movie aside from the inept low budget Captain America from the nineties.Can you say anti-climatic ??? How about boring ? # 6 - The pacing.Before we even see the Hulk the story moves along at a snails pace.I almost fell asleep.Alright,now that I've said what drove me absolutely batty about the trainwreck called " Hulk " let me say what was done correctly.Unlike alot of other people I had no problem with the way The Hulk looked.I think that he was probably the most realistic character this side of Golem in any CGI movie ever made.What was he doing stuck in such a boring movie like this ? I also liked the character of General Ross.Nice performance there Sam.Great as usual.That's what was so sad about this movie as a whole : it had great actors, but it lacked any coherent direction or intriguing story.Someone should have told Avi Arad that you need to find a good writer and director as well......Truth be told I hope there is a sequel.Why ? Maybe they'll get it right the second time around.As it stands now,the t.v. show with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno was a whole lot better.My favorite comic character flushed down hollywood's toilet.What a waste. I hated Ang Lee's other movies,including the goofy Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.I guess this makes it official,I hate all his movies,and Ang,you couldnt direct your way out of a wet paper sack.How about you retire and leave The Hulk franchise alone ? Batman had Joel Schumacher,but at least that was three movies in ! Thanks for destroying what could have been a great franchise.
Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)
GAWD AWFUL MOVIE!
What can I say about this movie except it's possibly one of the worst movies of it's type ? I've sat through movies on the Lifetime Channel with my girlfriend that were better than this ( and that's saying a heck of alot bub. ) Avoid this movie like the plague people.
Serendipity (2001)
Through fate the power of love cannot be denied...
There are times when you watch a movie and instantly realize you're watching something special.....this is that type of movie.What's so special you say ? Critics would probably say it's nothing but a walking cliche......Maybe...but isnt the ride always worth it ? Isnt the chemistry the whole reason we watch love stories to begin with ? The best love stories arent so much about the story as they are about what we wish romance in our lives was.Instantaneous...Tender...Magical...Hearts all a flutter.If you like good chemistry between the likeable Cusack and Beckinsale in a magical setting...prepare to be touched.I was.This is by far one of my favorite love stories,only slightly behind " Somewhere in Time " .If you expect realism dont bother -but if you want what love SHOULD be...hypnotic,mesmerizing,a heart awash a sea of tenderness...then get ready to enjoy yourself.May you all find your true love as well....
Spider-Man (2002)
Good movie with some minor annoyances..
I liked this movie quite a bit.It was fun to watch Spidey kick the crap out of the Goblin onscreen....BUT...I had " problems " with a couple of things...I love Sam Raimi's work,and I know he's a fan,so why take out Parker's web shooters ? Although it's mentioned that Pete is quite the bright boy the proof was never in the pudding....his missing web shooters.Raimi has been quoted as saying that " The audience wouldnt believe a kid could come up with something even Dupont couldnt. " ( his web fluid )Let me get this straight Sam old boy,you say the audience wouldnt believe Parker had the smarts to create web shooters, yet you expect them to believe a man can crawl walls like a Spider ? Give me a freaking break.They should have been there.Organic webs was a stupid idea.If it's not broke Sam,dont fix it okay ? The next " odd " thing I had problems with was the Green Goblin's suit.He looked like a Power Ranger.What was up with THAT idea ?!?! Oh,well.Thank God for good performances by Daniel,Kirsten, and Toby.If you like comic movies you'll enjoy this one.....just dont expect perfection,even from the brilliant Sam " The Evil Dead Man " Raimi.
The Cutting Edge (1992)
A Sweet Little Romantic Movie.
Boy this was a good date movie.D.B.Sweeney and Moira Kelly ( thump thump my beating heart !! She's a baby doll !! ) were a blast to watch.Their chemistry reminded me of the heyday of Moonlighting,when Bruce and Cybil were lighting the fireworks of sexual tension.I miss that show.Terry O'Quinn was great as Moira's father,and Roy Dotrice was hilarious as their trainer.If you like to watch two strangers from completely different backgrounds fall in love then you're in for a treat.Cliche,maybe,but altogether charming.If you are a romantic you'll end up buying it on DVD just as I have.Too bad neither actor/actress has been all that consistent.
When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
A True Romantic Classic
What can I say that hasnt been said a million times about this movie ? It is BRILLIANT.Meg Ryan is adorably high maintenance in her role while Billy Crystal plays a romantic Oliver Hardy.This movie is very funny, and when it talks of dating it really hits a home run.The way women see the world and the way men see it is brilliantly portrayed,as well as the struggles to understand one another.It all comes together in the obvious but tenderhearted climax.Hopeless Romantics everywhere unite -this one is for us.Now if only I could find a woman like Meg Ryan...
Moulin Rouge! (2001)
My God,this is a terrible
I've seen a lot of movies in my thirty one years but to call this movie a "love story " is about as accurate as calling " Silence of the Lambs " a comedy.Love ? Where ?Everything seems lifted from some where else.The only people that would enjoy this kind of movie is the blind and those who enjoy Barbara Streisand.Dont waste your time with this garbage.Truly horrible fruitiness.The funniest thing is the fact that this movie is up for awards.I almost hit the floor with a heart attack when I heard THAT fact.If you want a sweet,tender love story watch "Somewhere in Time ",for the love of God banish this junk from your mind.
X-Men (2000)
A fanboy's dream
I really thought they would screw this completely up.After seeing various super-hero movies that have been very mediocre,( or worse ) I expected a craptacular movie.( I mean hey...look at Marvel's track record..one good movie..BLADE..) What a surprise this was.The characters were just slightly changed from the norm and the personality each represented was dead on.Wolverine was definitely the highlight though,perfectly casted,wonderfully acted and never out of character.If you havent seen this but read comics I have one question..." Where have you been ? " In a cave ? " LOL. " Watch it,enjoy it,and be prepared to be pleasantly amazed at the subtle changes....PS. - Someone needs to tell the powers that be at Marvel that the movie character " Toad " should be the norm...Ive seen people write a character horribly but never better than the actual creators....hard to believe....
Batman (1989)
Poor research on the character brings mixed results
This movie is probably the closest I've seen in representing the character of Batman to the silver screen.The positive aspects are 1) it looks good 2) its filmed very well and 3) its very entertaining.Now being a big fan of the comic Id have to say they screwed up a lot.Heres the lowdown... **** Spoilers **** 1) Theres no way in hell Alfred would EVER have took ANYBODY into the cave of the Bat.If Alfred was THAT stupid in the comic Batman would be as dead as a door nail by now.Alfred is extremely out of character,and poorly written.2 ) Nicholson is very good as The Joker but he's also way too heavy,way too old, and too balding to play the part.3)They completely DESTROYED the origin of Batman.Whose genius idea was it to make The Joker the killer of Batman's parents ? My God that was stupid.3)Kim Basinger cannot act her way out of a wet paper sack.Enuff said.4)Since when was Harvey Dent a Black Man ??? That's as stupid as when they cast Deacon Frost ( In Blade ) as a white guy.Apparently the writers in hollywood thought they could write it better than those who write comics for a living.Idiots.As long as you have no idea how the comic presents the character you'll enjoy it.If you know the character you'll spend a lot of time saying "What the $#$#@#!?? "
Runaway Bride (1999)
Beautiful Love story about commitment
Runaway Bride is a movie that has never gotten the respect it rightly deserves.Its a sign of the times ( a BAD sign ) that we live in an era that sweet simple love stories can be criticized but garbage like "Hannibal " and " Natural Born Killers " can be viewed as "brilliant ".A good love story can be looked at in three ways as far as success goes.One,is there a good story ? Yes,predictable,but touching.Second,is the chemistry between the stars believable ? Gere and Roberts....need I say more ? If you've seen Pretty Woman; guess what...the chemistry is still there.They're adorable.Three,can you relate to it ? If you've fell in love and had goose bumps,or just wished you could find that "certain " someone ",then,yes.A fairy tale is not supposed to be anything than what it is; a simple,sweet tender hearted love story.Take it from a Romantic Poet,Roberts is enough to make your heart skip and Gere is believable as a typical jaded divorcee trying to justify his pessimism.Hilarious and heart warming.
Mannequin (1987)
Adorable Goofy Romantic Comedy
Okay,first things first.Why would I give a silly Romantic Comedy a Ten? Three reasons actually.First,it reminded me of a fairy tale in the same vein as the story of a certain wooden boy and the Princess Bride,both good movies in their own right.Second,there is a scene in the rain that just affected the artist in me..watch it and you'll understand what I mean,every artist needs to create in order to feel he or she has purpose.Most people wont understand this,an artist will.Third,it never takes itself seriously.Its supposed to be nothing more than what it is,a sweet,goofy romantic comedy.Watch it and you might be surprised just how innocent love can be.
One Crazy Summer (1986)
Another reason to love the Eighties
John Cusack stars as Hoops in this silly little movie that has to be one of the best of the eighties teen comedies.Believe it or not Demi Moore is his co star...If you love the eighties,grew up around that time,or are an angst ridden teenage artist get ready to laugh.Wait until you see the cartoons..what a riot....
Better Off Dead... (1985)
The Perfect Teen Angst Movie
Now THIS is a teen comedy.John Cusack is absolutely gut busting hilarious as Lane,a teenager who has but two loves : Skis and a girl named Beth.Prepare to hate the paper boy and thank God your Mom could cook. To tell anymore of the story would be a travesty because everyone deserves to see every bit of this little gem for themselves.For those of us that grew up in the eighties this is a must see,the rest of you sit back and look at how silly we were at that age.Priceless.
Simon Birch (1998)
Its all about Faith
There are a lot of people who will see this and probably not understand its message,but then again there are a lot of people who will see it and realize movies such as this come along very rarely.Simon Birch is a man within a boys body with a specific purpose and a simple message for mankind.You see,Simon is a little different from other boys his age,but then again,so was all of God's chosen.He's a little of all of us to be sure,yet he has one thing that few have.Simon is blessed with unmoving,solid as the rock its founded on FAITH.Nothing anyone says or does will change this.He will be picked on,poked,prodded,and teased but this fact will ever remain.The brotherly love that bonds Simon and his best friend will remind you of times long thought forgotten and memories you will treasure always.Its rare indeed that a movie will make you laugh,cry,and otherwise feel that true love for life and mankind exists in this world as it is today.This movie is that special.Just like Simon.
Somewhere in Time (1980)
Time cannot stop the power of True Love
This movie,without a doubt,is the best love story I have ever seen.Why,you ask ? The story is a bit this side of fantastic,yet never ventures away from its true purpose,Seymour and Reeves.The chemistry is nothing short of stunning.You will swear after watching this that those two loved each other more than life itself.Seymour is so beautiful just to glance at her smile is enough to take your breath away.Reeves is completely magnificent as her soul mate. He performs such romantic mannerisms that you feel as if you've watched something completely intimate every time he moves.Bravo indeed.If only we all could find that one true love to give a piece of our soul too.As you sit down to watch this prepare to begin a journey that you will want to take again and again.Being a Hopeless Romantic makes it hard to find movies that meet expectations.This exceeds all I've had,or ever THOUGHT of having...