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Napoleon (2023)
1/10
Pathetic
10 December 2023
Feminist Ridley Scott turns Napoleon into a pathetic figure. Feminist Ridley Scott turns an epic story of European history into a forgettable and depressing story.

You have to ask yourself, why did Ridley Scott choose this pathetic little weasel of a depiction of Napoleon? It can't be for historical reasons. Since the film is so careless about being historically accurate.

Surely, whoever this Napoleon was in real life, it's highly likely he had some charisma. Ridley Scott's Napoleon is just creepy and pathetic.

This Napoleon is too sad and pathetic to be realistically a guy who conquered half of Europe. You are telling me Napoleon had no swagger at all and was this pathetic Joaquin Phoenix type mentally Ill guy? The film fails to show Napoleon as a leader. Even if you accept the premise that Napoleon was a weirdo in private life, he was arguably a great leader in public life - this film fails to portray this.

I don't even care that the film is historically inaccurate, Braveheart and Gladiator are both great films and both inaccurate, especially Braveheart is hilariously inaccurate.

Also, I am not impressed with the Josephine actress. At least pick a more impressive female lead if the point you are trying to make is that she is a badass woman who is in control of Napoleon, the little weasel.

Also, he's sooo old. Napoleon was 29 when he was in Egypt. Phoenix is 49 and did not age well on top of that...he looks more like 55. The age difference is too much. I think instead of picking Joaquin Phoenix, who seems to be only able to play weirdos and freaks, they should have gone with an unknown younger actor.

Also, the whole set seemed a bit too Disney. Too fake. It felt like I was on a Disney ride.
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Past Lives (2023)
1/10
Why does this have a rating of 8.0?
5 October 2023
This film had so many boring parts it felt much longer than 1h45.

Maybe heavily edited, as a short film this would have been acceptable.

The female lead is dislikable, selfish and cruel.

The story is lame and predictable, no surprises.

At no point did I care about any of the main characters. This film did not touch me on an emotional level - except for a disgust response for the female lead.

They should have made a completely different movie out of this. Maybe tell the whole story in like 20min. And then continue the story where this film ends. Maybe her jewish boyfriend was right, and he should have kicked her out....
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Chloe (2009)
1/10
The worst movie I have seen in a long while...horrible
22 January 2011
Warning: Spoilers
What's the point of watching a movie which partly consists of a person telling a story which eventually happens to be untrue? Especially if the lie is so obvious that the viewer (at least I was) is totally bored waiting for the truth to be revealed to Julianne Moore. Is the director trying to trick us into believing that Chloe's story is true? If he does I am a bit offended at him for thinking me so stupid. It's such a cliché-narrative, it has been done so many times in similar ways that you would have to make quite an effort for it to be believable. Its like watching a 6th Sense remake. Who would want to watch it if the whole final effect of 'oh my god, he is a ghost' is gone?

As the viewers, are we supposed to be surprised that it all was just made up? Because I wasn't surprised at all. I was just extremely annoyed because it all was so painfully obvious.

The director is trying to unfold a story which is already unfolded in my mind before the first half is even over because it is predictable and lame.

But this is just one aspect which I did not like. There is so much more wrong with this movie that I could go on forever.

I could accept the flaw I just tried to point out if the rest of the movie was watchable, but it's not.

It's a movie about a hooker (or escort girl or what ever you want to call her) who turns out to have emotional problems; so while in the beginning she is acting all cool and telling us so intelligently and poetically about her job, about the dos and don'ts and how to behave with men, in the end she turns out to not be professional at all, she is just a crazy bitch. Julianne has some emotional problems because she is getting old and feels unwanted. Her son is just some teenage kid who is not really relevant for the movie except for the conflict with Chloe in the end. Liam Neeson is just chilling throughout the movie not really harming anyone, he seems to be more interested in his work than in his wife...wtf

honestly, who cares?

I suppose there is supposed to be some underlying deeper meaning...But I think its a load of ...just a pretentious attempt to be smart and intellectual. All the director does is coming up with some random drama-conflict ideas and mixing them together. in the end you have nothing of value...

I usually don't write reviews on IMDb; this is the first one. The movie just created so many negative emotions within me that I had to post my opinion. Especially after seeing how many people liked it. I mean, that's fine. We all have different tastes, but I just thought I post one for the people who disliked the movie as much as i did.
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